So Many Thoughts

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Priesthood session of the April 2011 conference.

First things first. What a weekend!! Waking up Sunday morning to the news that President Russell M. Nelson had graduated from this mortal boarding school brought me to tears. Not for him, but for the rest of us left behind to continue slogging through the fight against evil. Which was evident Sunday morning in the attack on the church in Grand Blanc, Michigan. A place of peace and refuge from the storms of life was breached and burned to the ground by a madman. So much sadness in one day. But I suppose that we are getting a taste of the tribulations to come as the fight heats up and all hell breaks loose. We know which side wins, but the battles will be fierce and there will be mortal and spiritual casualties. I've always felt that our son James was a casualty in that fight. Satan succeeded in getting him addicted to alcohol and filling him with thoughts of worthlessness to the point he couldn't take anymore and ended his life seeking peace. I know from sacred experiences that James is now, in fact, at peace, progressing and very happy. 

Well, this priesthood session was full of good counsel for the brethren. But, as President Uchtdorf said, "The words written in the scriptures and spoken in general conference are for us 'to liken them unto [ourselves]', not for reading or hearing only." So I have applied that counsel to the group I am a part of, the Relief Society.

Elder Steven E. Snow gave a wonderful talk about Hope.

Hope is an emotion which brings richness to our everyday lives. . . . Hope can inspire dreams and spur us to realize those dreams. Hope alone, however, does not cause us to succeed. Many honorable hopes have gone unfulfilled, shipwrecked on the reefs of good intentions and laziness. . . . The exercise of hope enriches our lives and helps us look forward to the future. . . . In the gospel, hope is almost always related to faith and charity. . . . The spiritual journey of today requires no less hope nor faith than those of the early pioneers. Our challenges may be different, but the struggles are just as great.

I've often said that technology, fashion, and such change over time but human nature is the same today as it was in the days of Adam and Eve. We all have to overcome the natural man/woman and choose to be disciples of Jesus, obeying His commandments and keeping our covenants.

President Uchtdorf said that ". . . somewhere between the hearing, the writing of a reminder on our smartphone, and the actual doing, our 'do it' switch gets rotated to the 'later' position. [Sisters], let's make sure to set our 'do it' switch to the 'now' position. As you read the scriptures and listen to the words of the prophets with all your heart and mind, the Lord will tell you how to live up to your [Relief Society] privileges. Don't let a day go by without doing something to act on the promptings of the Spirit."

I remember President Kimball was known for having a little plaque on his desk that said "Do it" and he added the word "now!" to the sign. (Nike stole the slogan!)

President Uchtdorf talked about the emphasis on education and vocational training and commended those listening for becoming an expert in their chosen field. Then said, "I invite you to also become  experts in the doctrines of the gospel--especially the doctrine of the [Relief Society]."

I feel sad that few sisters know the history and purpose of the Relief Society anymore. To the younger women it's just another Sunday class, with an occasional get together to socialize.

How can the Relief Society sister strengthen homes and families when they are out chasing fulfillment in the workplace rather than finding it in the making of homes for weary husbands and children? How can we reach out to the needy, and supply their needs if we're too busy juggling a full-time job and the full-time work of raising a family? (No disrespect is meant to women who are single yet want to be married, my daughter being one; nor to any widows; or any other non-ideal situation. I know that many can't currently live the ideal. But that doesn't mean we disregard God's ideal and accept the world's.)

President Uchtdorf said, "Too often we fail to experience the bliss that come from daily, practical [Relief Society] service."

That daily, practical service can most often be in our own homes! What would it mean to a man, weary from the cares of providing for his family, to come home to a calm place of rest and love? That is service! Teaching children manners and reverence so they are well behaved at church. That is service! Sharing something with a neighbor. That is service! And from our homes and families we reach out to those beyond our immediate circle. 

I deeply appreciate what President Uchtdorf says about ministering (then called Home/Visiting Teaching), "[Sisters], if your [ministering] efforts don't seem to be effective to you, I invite you to see with the eye of faith what a visit from a servant of the Lord will do for a family that has many unseen problems." That was sure me, the family with many unseen problems; and I bless the two faithful sisters who visited me every month, talked of the gospel and bore their testimonies to me faithfully. They lifted me up and keep me going when I wanted to give up, all the while not knowing anything about my situation. They were angels to me.

There was more, but I think it best if you read the talks and hear what the Lord says to you through the Spirit. I love the talks to the men of the priesthood as I hear so much counsel that applies to me so perfectly.

Face the Future with Faith!

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday afternoon session of the April 2011 conference.

Elder Russell M. Nelson's address about faith is certainly timely in light of the condition of the world today. I'm so grateful for apostles and prophets (are they one and the same?). 

At the beginning of this year my sister asked me if I'd like to go on a trip to New England and Prince Edward Island in October. We made some plans but towards the end of the summer she confessed that she was fearful of social conditions and didn't want to go. We ended up going to Utah for a lovely week together. But we missed out on all the interesting historical sites in New England, and the life-long dream of seeing the place of Anne of Green Gables. Oh well. Maybe another time.

We live in a time of turmoil. Earthquakes and tsunamis weak devastation, governments collapse, economic stresses are severe, the family is under attack, and divorce rates are rising. We have great cause for concern. But we do not need to let our fears displace our faith. We can combat those fears by strengthening our faith.

We strengthen our faith by doing the things we learned in Primary: praying, studying the scriptures and words of modern prophets, participating in church meetings, worshipping in the temple, giving service to our fellow students in this mortal boarding school.

Elder Nelson encourages us to "start with your children." Teaching them by our words and actions to have faith in the Savior Jesus Christ, faith in God's plan of salvation, faith to keep all the commandments. 

Warn them that they will encounter people who pick which commandments they will keep and ignore others that they choose to break. I call this the cafeteria approach to obedience. This practice of picking and choosing will not work. It will lead to misery. To prepare to meet God, one keeps all of His commandments. It takes faith to obey them, and keeping His commandments will strengthen that faith.

I've learned as a parent that children pick up on any hypocrisy displayed by adults. They want to trust in parents and leaders whose actions match their words. This is also called integrity. We adults need to be the "do as I do" variety, not the "do as I say" kind. It's difficult and tiring, but it also gives us opportunities to teach about repentance and forgiveness as we confess our mistakes and press forward working on improving.

One commandment Elder Nelson mentions specifically is tithing.

To develop enduring faith, an enduring commitment to be a full-tithe payer is essential. Initially it takes faith to tithe. Then the tithe payer develops more faith to the point that tithing become a precious privilege. Tithing is an ancient law from God. He made a promise to His children that He would open "the windows of heaven, and pour out . . . a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it." Not only that, tithing will keep your name enrolled among the people of God and protect you in "the day of vengeance and burning."

Interestingly, two days before he ended his life, our son received some money (I don't know what kind of payment it was) and he did two things: paid tithing and went to the grocery store. He didn't always attend church, but he always paid tithing. He had a firm testimony of the blessings from living that commandment. 

Elder Nelson asks, "Why do we need such resilient faith? Because difficult days are ahead. Rarely in the future will it be easy or popular to be a faithful Latter-day Saint. Each of us will be tested."

After our son died I wanted to quit life too, not seriously, but it just seemed too hard to keep going. Except that I knew I needed to pass my tests if I wanted to be with my son in an eternal family. No giving up allowed! Elder Nelson said, "You faithful Saints do not have to fight life's battles alone. Think of that! The Lord declared, 'I will contend with him that contented with thee, and I will save thy children.'" That promise keeps me going.

  

 

The Atonement Covers All Pain

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday morning session of the April 2011 conference.

"No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude, and humility. . . . It is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we come here to acquire."

Elder Kent F. Richards was quoting an earlier apostle, Elder Orson F. Whitney.

Sometimes in the depth of pain we are tempted to ask, 'Is there no balm in Gilead, is there no physician there?' I testify the answer is yes, there is a physician. The Atonement of Jesus Christ covers all these conditions and purposes of mortality. 

I can add my testimony and witness that what Elder Richards said is true. I have felt the healing power and comfort of the Atonement through all kinds of physical, emotional, and spiritual pain. Some experiences are too sacred to share. But I know His power is real and His love is limitless and compassionate.

P.S. I got to visit Marilyn of Light in Leaves this past week; she and her children are as delightful in person as they are in her blog. 

 

 

Daughters in My Kingdom

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the General Relief Society Meeting of the October 2010 conference.

I know we're not supposed to have favorites among the general authorities and general officers of the church. I know that. But I just can't help love Sister Julie B. Beck for her straightforward declarations of truth and clarity of message. It seems to me that Relief Society isn't quite the same as it once was, unless you live in an area with a fabulous Relief Society Presidency who know and act upon the purposes of the organization.

 

Fifteen years ago Sister Beck introduced a new resource for Relief Society, a book called, "Daughters in My Kingdom: The History and Work of Relief Society." I've read it several times in the intervening years, learning more each time and remembering the important purposes of this society for female members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, which are: increasing faith in Jesus Christ, strengthening families, and providing relief to others.

 

"Understanding the history of Relief Society strengthens the foundational identity and worth of faithful women." 

We don't meet together to share the latest trends on Social Media, or compare notes on how to get ahead at the office. We meet together in Relief Society to affirm our eternal identity as daughters of God, and our worth as women, wives, mothers, and homemakers who "make the living worthwhile." (I learned a motto decades ago that says, "Dad makes the living, mom makes the living worthwhile" and adopted it as my own.) We meet to encourage and strengthen each other in keeping our covenants, obeying the commandments, and pressing forward with steadfastness in Christ.

 

Babylon all around us tells us our identity and worth comes from how much classroom education and how many degrees we have, what kind of career we pursue, and how large our net worth is. The Lord tells us that we have infinite worth as His daughters and our eternal identity is a woman with the potential to be queen, priestess, wife and mother forever.

 

"[The Lord] intended Relief Society to help build His people and prepare them for the blessings of the temple. He established this organization to align His daughters with His work and to enlist their help in building His kingdom and strengthening the homes of Zion. . . . The Relief Society as an organization has always had the responsibility to organize the energies of the sisters in the wards and branches of Zion."

 

I've spent the past fifteen years in small branches where most women are converts who never knew the Relief Society of previous generations. They haven't experienced the different types of lessons that encouraged sisters to learn more about the world, countries, cultures, become a better mother, a better visiting teacher, a better friend. They haven't experienced "workdays" when the sisters gather around a quilt, finish it and take it to a new mother or recently arrived refugee; or learn how to make a delicious meal out of food storage items. It wasn't exactly the activity that was important, it was the bonds of sisterhood that were built being, working, and learning together.

 

In recent years I've felt so discouraged because I find neither relief nor society when I attend Relief Society. I've long felt like the "odd-man out" because I don't have a college degree, and didn't have a career outside the home. My goodness, I hardly struggled with menopause! I miss leaders like Sister Beck who promote homemaking, motherhood, and service in the church as the highest good.

 

"We study our history because it helps us change. Ultimately, the value of history is not so much in its dates, names, and places. It is valuable because it teaches us the principles, purposes, and patterns we are to follow, it helps us know who we are and what we are to do, and it unites us in strengthening the homes of Zion and building the Kingdom of God on the earth. Relief Society, when it operates in an inspired way, can replace fear, doubt, and selfishness with faith, hope, and charity."

 

I recommend reading or re-reading Daughters in My Kingdom for a needed shot of enthusiasm for Relief Society's history and purposes as well as some ideas on ministering.

 

 

Rest Unto Your Souls

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday afternoon session of the October 2010 conference.

Our son's suicide was the most lift up-ending event that has ever happened to me. It shook the foundations of our family, rattled my faith, and shattered my sense of identity and worth. 

About six months prior to James leaving us, I had an urgent and persistent prompting to study the gospel more diligently and deeply. Following that inspiration proved to be life saving to me.

Elder Per G. Malm of the Seventy said, "Faith in Jesus Christ and following His teachings give us a firm hope, and this hope becomes a solid anchor to our souls. We can become steadfast and immovable. We can enter into the rest of the Lord."

That first sleepless night after my husband discovered what had happened to James I tossed and turned unable to turn off my brain or my tears. All night my mind alternated between two thoughts as wave after wave of gratitude filled my soul: "I know that my Redeemer lives!" and "I'm so grateful for the honor and privilege of being James' mother." 

The past two and a half years have been hard, lonely, and uncertain as we've grieved, navigated changes in life plans, and healed from the gaping hole that James left in our family.

Elder Malm says, "A helpful habit is to lift our vision daily in order to maintain an eternal perspective of the things we plan and do, especially if we detect a tendency to wait until a future tomorrow to do what we know we should pursue while we have our present today."

I shudder to think of how weak I might have been if I hadn't followed the prompting to deepen my knowledge and testimony of the Atonement of the Savior, the Plan of Salvation, and eternal families. I often wonder how others who do not know what I do, and have what I have, endure the pain of a loved one's death.

If I ever wonder how to tell if a prompting is from God, I remember what I know from Moroni. Elder Malm reminds me in his talk. "When we learn to handle the small and simple daily things in a wise and inspired way, the result is a positive influence that will solidify harmony in our souls and build up and strengthen those around us. This is so because everything which invites us to do good 'is sent forth by the power and gift of Christ; wherefore [we] may know with a perfect knowledge it is of God' (Moroni 7:16)."

Sister Camille Johnson's talk in the most recent general conference fits well with this one too. We can be whole in Jesus Christ even though we are not physically, emotionally, or mentally healed. The death of James is permanent for the rest of my life, he will not be returned to me. I will miss him every day and feel a void where he used to be. But I am whole in Christ and can keep pressing forward steadfast in Him knowing that our family will be reunited in the future.