Rest Unto Your Souls

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday afternoon session of the October 2010 conference.

Our son's suicide was the most lift up-ending event that has ever happened to me. It shook the foundations of our family, rattled my faith, and shattered my sense of identity and worth. 

About six months prior to James leaving us, I had an urgent and persistent prompting to study the gospel more diligently and deeply. Following that inspiration proved to be life saving to me.

Elder Per G. Malm of the Seventy said, "Faith in Jesus Christ and following His teachings give us a firm hope, and this hope becomes a solid anchor to our souls. We can become steadfast and immovable. We can enter into the rest of the Lord."

That first sleepless night after my husband discovered what had happened to James I tossed and turned unable to turn off my brain or my tears. All night my mind alternated between two thoughts as wave after wave of gratitude filled my soul: "I know that my Redeemer lives!" and "I'm so grateful for the honor and privilege of being James' mother." 

The past two and a half years have been hard, lonely, and uncertain as we've grieved, navigated changes in life plans, and healed from the gaping hole that James left in our family.

Elder Malm says, "A helpful habit is to lift our vision daily in order to maintain an eternal perspective of the things we plan and do, especially if we detect a tendency to wait until a future tomorrow to do what we know we should pursue while we have our present today."

I shudder to think of how weak I might have been if I hadn't followed the prompting to deepen my knowledge and testimony of the Atonement of the Savior, the Plan of Salvation, and eternal families. I often wonder how others who do not know what I do, and have what I have, endure the pain of a loved one's death.

If I ever wonder how to tell if a prompting is from God, I remember what I know from Moroni. Elder Malm reminds me in his talk. "When we learn to handle the small and simple daily things in a wise and inspired way, the result is a positive influence that will solidify harmony in our souls and build up and strengthen those around us. This is so because everything which invites us to do good 'is sent forth by the power and gift of Christ; wherefore [we] may know with a perfect knowledge it is of God' (Moroni 7:16)."

Sister Camille Johnson's talk in the most recent general conference fits well with this one too. We can be whole in Jesus Christ even though we are not physically, emotionally, or mentally healed. The death of James is permanent for the rest of my life, he will not be returned to me. I will miss him every day and feel a void where he used to be. But I am whole in Christ and can keep pressing forward steadfast in Him knowing that our family will be reunited in the future.

 

Nuggets and Pearls

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday morning session of the October 2010 conference.

A few talks stood out to me from this session, so I gleaned some nuggets and pearls from each one.

President Henry B. Eyring - God does not rule in nations, but He is mindful of them. He can and does place people in positions of influence who want what is best for the people and who trusts in the Lord.

I find that comforting as I think back on the elections of the past twenty-five years. The United States has had ups and downs; scary times and even more frightening times. But this is a land of promise, the headquarters of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. We are blessed that in spite of the elected officials, regardless of who is in the White House, the Gospel rolls forth, temples are built, Israel is gathered and preparations continue for the Second Coming. Life is so much better when we elect men and women who make it easier to live the gospel, keep the commandments and prosper in the land but God's work cannot be stopped.

He also said, "You show your trust in Him when you listen with the intent to learn and repent and then you go and do whatever He asks."

King Benjamin said, similarly, ". . . and now, if you believe all these things see that ye do them." (Mosiah 4:10) And we sing, ". . . teach me all that I must do, to live with him someday."

President Boyd K. Packer - There is something very liberating when an individual determines of his or her own free will to be obedient to our Father and our God and expresses that willingness to Him in prayer.

Isn't it wonderful to have free will and choice? With that, though, comes accountability and consequences. This principle, often called the Law of the Harvest, has been largely forgotten in current society, such that when it is invoked people howl in discontent. We reap what we sow. There is no getting around that; it might be delayed, but the harvest always comes.

President Packer also said, "Nowhere are the generosity and the kindness and mercy of God more manifest than in repentance. . . . Repentance is like unto a detergent. Even ground-in stains of sin will come out."

To me that is comforting, reassuring, and hopeful. No matter how sincere my desire to be obedient is I won't be perfect. I will mess up, choose poorly, make mistakes, and fall short. The gift of repentance is just about the best ever.

Elder Dallin H. Oaks - Those who reject the need for organized religion reject the work of the Master, who established His church and its officers in the meridian of time and who reestablished them in modern times.

It is the purpose of the organization of the church first to enable authorized performance of the ordinances of salvation and exaltation, and then help us stay faithful to the covenants we've made. The fellowship with others on the same path is encouraging and strengthening. We need each other; as the saying goes, there is strength in numbers. 

Elder Oaks also said, "Each member needed to seek the Lord in prayer and receive the direct message of comfort and guidance that comes through the Holy Spirit to those who seek and listen." 

He was speaking of a time of an earthquake in Chile when the physical and spiritual needs of the members was great. The church helped with physical needs, but each member needed to draw on God's help also. I know what it's like to go through a big calamity. The ultimate comfort comes to us from Heavenly Father through the Holy Ghost. I learned long ago that Father and my Savior are dependable and will never let me down or disappoint. They keep their promises.

 

"Oh Lord, it's hard to be humble . . . "

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Priesthood session of the October 2010 conference.

Mac Davis wrote a funny song about it being hard to be humble when you're perfect in every way. 

What's even harder than being humble is realizing that I'm guilty of the sin of pride. Some of what President Uchtdorf said in this session cut me to the core.

One of my spiritual gifts (maybe my only one) is knowledge. Somehow I just know things, or understand the scriptures, or have insights given to me and such. I'm going to substitute a word here to liken the talk to me.

We are servants of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. We are not given [knowledge] so that we can take our bows and bask in praise. We are here to roll up our sleeves and go to work. We are enlisted in no ordinary task. We are called to prepare the world for the coming of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. We seek not our own honor but give praise and glory to God. We know that the contribution we can make by ourselves is small; nevertheless, as we exercise [our knowledge] in righteousness, God can cause a great and marvelous work to come forth through our efforts. We must learn, as Moses did, that "man is nothing" by himself but that "with God all things are possible." 

I frequently wonder how I can use my gift to further the work of gathering Israel. I can't volunteer to speak in Sacrament Meeting or Stake Conference, or teach Gospel Doctrine or Seminary/Institute, that isn't the order of things in the church. I have to wait to be called to do those things. So what do I do?

President Uchtdorf says, "We don't discover humility by thinking less of ourselves; we discover humility by thinking less about ourselves. It comes as we go about our work with an attitude of serving God and our fellowman. Humility directs our attention and love toward others and to Heavenly Father's purposes. . . . The moment we stop obsessing with ourselves and lose ourselves in service, our pride diminishes and begins to die."

I'm guilty of wanting to serve in big ways, to show off my knowledge and understanding. But that's not the Lord's way. 

. . . we are tools in the hands of God. When our heart is in the right place, we do not complain that our assigned task is unworthy of our abilities. We gladly serve wherever we are asked. When we do this, the Lord can use us in ways beyond our understanding to accomplish His work.

My theme song needs to be "I'll Go Where You Want Me to Go, Dear Lord." I have a new opportunity to prove myself since we're moving to a new ward next month. I hope I can be humble, meek, and submit to the Lord's use of me and my talents. 

 

Spiritual Rocky Ridge Road

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday afternoon session of the October 2010 conference.

Elder Neil L. Andersen said, "The road of discipleship is not for the spiritually faint of heart." And I wholeheartedly concur. 

The test of mortal life is a grueling one. The only thing that makes it doable is that it is not a closed book, go it alone kind of test. We have access to the answers and guidance we need to get through. That doesn't make it easier or more fun, just more doable.

Perfection does not come in this life, but we exercise faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and keep our covenants. . . . We push our spiritual roots deep, feasting daily on the words of Christ in the scriptures. We trust in the words of living prophets, placed before us to show us the way. We pray and pray and listen to the quiet voice of the Holy Ghost that leads us along and speaks peace to our soul. Whatever challenges arise, we never, never leave Him.

 

 

  

Living Without Fear

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday morning session of the October 2010 conference.

When I was a little girl my older brothers actively worked to frighten me by telling me about monsters, then, at night, sneaking outside to tap on my window. I was petrified of being alone in the dark. It wasn't until long into adulthood that I conquered my fears. I promised that I would never knowingly tease or teach my children to be fearful, or allow them to do that to each other.

We moved to Provo when our children were 13 to 4. Our boys were active in Cub Scouts and 11 year old Scouts. They had friends who were fearful of walking down the hill from their house to ours for Scout activities. They were terrified of being kidnapped. I incredulously asked, "In Provo? Two blocks from BYU?" (This is in 2002) I wondered where they had learned to be so afraid and chalked it up to being in public school where children are routinely traumatized by everything, from weather patterns to carbohydrates, being catastrophized into huge monsters to fear. Our children were homeschooled and I kept my promise to not teach them to be fearful.

I thought about all this as I studied Sister Rosemary M. Wixom's talk "Stay on the Path".  She said, "If they understand the plan and who they are, they will not fear." I love that! 

Heavenly Father doesn't want us to go through life afraid. He watches over us like the loving parent He is. We, who know the Plan, can teach and guide our children to see mortality as a place of learning and obedience, with wonderful opportunities to experience the glories of Heavenly Father's handiwork. 

The world will teach our children if we do not, and children are capable of learning all the world will teach them at a very young age. What we want them to know five years from now needs to be part of our conversation with them today. Teach them in every circumstance; let every dilemma, every consequence, every trial that they may face provide an opportunity to teach them how to hold on to gospel truths.

My children are all adults now but I still try to teach them through my example and words. I look for ways to praise them and encourage them as they travel the path I've already been down. I want my conscience to be clear that I've done the best I could to teach them.

Elder Renlund spoke of being fearful in the most recent conference. "It is not just children who may feel this way. The best advice for her, for you, and for me is to follow the Savior's teachings. His instructions are neither mysterious nor complex. When we follow them, we do not need to fear or be anxious."

We live in the most marvelous time of all mortality! We have the most amazing conveniences and technology! We have the fullness of the Gospel of Jesus Christ with priesthood power restored, and temples dotting the land! This is not a time to be fearful, but to press forward with steadfast faith in Jesus Christ, preparing for His return in Glory.