The Greatest Work - The Most Important Service, and other thoughts

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday afternoon session of the April 2012 General Conference.

Throughout the years of raising children, from the time our first was born in 1989 to the time our youngest left home in 2016, and even to this day, I often wondered if I should have chosen a different path, cultivating an outside career and developing my talents in a professional (that means paid) setting. Over my lifetime homemakers have increasingly been looked down on as less educated, homeschoolers continually questioned about their qualifications, while those who don't contribute monetarily to their family economy are seen as parasites. 

Thankfully we have apostles and prophets to teach the truth about the work that takes place in our homes.

Elder M. Russell Ballard quoted President Joseph F. Smith, ". . . and there is no service greater than that which converts the home into a divine institution, and which promotes and preserves family life. . . ."

Elder Ballard said, "Brothers and sisters, the most important cause of our lifetime is our families. If we will devote ourselves to this cause, we will improve every other aspect of our lives and will become, as a people and as a church, an example and a beacon for all peoples of the earth." 

I appreciate that he used the word "cause" rather than thing or entity. I believe our highest priority and relationships should be with God, Our Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ. They can give us salvation, and exaltation with our families; but our families can give us neither. Putting God first in our lives makes everything else fall into place in the correct order of priority.

Elder Ballard continued, "First, may I suggest that we prioritize. Put everything you do outside the home in subjection to and in support of what happens inside your home. . . . Organize your personal live to provide time for prayer and scriptures and family activity. Give your children responsibilities in the home that will teach them how to work."

I hear sisters in Relief Society say that they are just so busy and have trouble finding time to study the gospel. Then they tell about all the activities that they ferry children to every day of the week! I think they've lost sight of the priority of studying and living the gospel instead of busily chasing worldly activities and acclaim with and for their children.

Elder Ballard said to the young women (and I presume even older women could benefit from this advice) "No career can bring you as much fulfillment as rearing a family. And when you are my age, you will realize this even more." I concur!! Being a wife, mother and homemaker stretches a woman, demands her highest efforts, and utilizes every talent and skill she can muster. "Paydays" are few and far between, but all the sweeter when they come.

Elder David F. Evans also proclaimed that ". . . our most important work is always within our own home and family."  He gave an important insight about communication, saying, "Letters from home are not just quick emails. Real letters provide something tangible that can be held, thought about, and cherished." After children leave home words of encouragement, comfort and wisdom from a parent in the form of a tangible letter is priceless.

Elder Neil L. Andersen quoted President Thomas S. Monson from 2011, ". . . the moral fiber of society continues to disintegrate before our very eyes." And then said something comforting to me, "Being a disciple in these days of destiny will be a badge of honor throughout the eternities." Comforting because of what I said in my first paragraph, I haven't felt much praise and honor for my chosen path in life. Elder Andersen goes on to say, "Our journey of discipleship is not a dash around the track, nor is it fully comparable to a lengthy marathon. In truth, it is a lifelong migration toward a more celestial world." Yes! It is a hero journey through the wilderness to the promised land. What a beautiful way to put it, "a lifelong migration."

I've noticed on social media that there is an outpouring of defense against critics of the church and our doctrines and beliefs. It is wearying to me to keep up with it all so I don't try to. I love Elder Andersen's closing testimony, so fitting for the times we live in, "In a future day, every knee will bow and every tongue confess that He is the Christ. On that day, our concern will not be, 'Do others consider me Christian?' At that time, our eyes will be fixed on Him, and our souls will be riveted on the question, 'What thinks Christ of me?'" His opinion and judgement of me is the only one that matters. Which is why I do my best to learn of Him, yoke myself to Him, and share my testimony of Him with my family.

Priesthood Power

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Priesthood session of the April 2012 General Conference.

We raised four boys to adulthood and every one of them had, and has an interest in guns, explosives, and such. They all have or are serving in the military. They all own guns; and shooting activities are always part of our family reunions. As they were growing up I tried to impress on them that while guns and bombs are powerful, there is something much more powerful and they possess it.

Just recently my sister asked me what my favorite Old Testament story is. That's easy, it's the story of Elijah and the Priest of Baal. I told her that if I could time travel that's what I'd like to see! Elijah is the coolest prophet ever! Then she asked what is the personal message to me. "The priesthood is the most powerful force!" 

Elder Adrián Ochoa spoke to the "Aaronic Priesthood", asking them to "Arise and Use the Power of God." I loved it!! So much so that I sent the link to our oldest son, who is the most vocal about needing more guns to protect his family and possessions. 

What greater power can you acquire on earth than the priesthood of God? What power could possibly be greater than the capacity to assist our Heavenly Father in changing the lives of your fellowmen, to help them along the pathway of eternal happiness by being cleansed of sin and wrongdoing?

You are often told about your great potential. Well, now is the time to put that potential into action, to make use of the abilities God has given you to bless others, bring them out of obscurity and into the light, and prepare the way of the Lord.

I am reminded of what President Russell M. Nelson said to the men in April 2016,

I urgently plead with each one of us to live up to our privileges as bearers of the priesthood. In a coming day, only those men who have taken their priesthood seriously, by diligently seeking to be taught by the Lord Himself, will be able to bless, guide, protect, strengthen, and heal others. Only a man who has paid the price for priesthood power will be able to bring miracles to those he loves and keep his marriage and family safe, now and throughout eternity.

The proclamation on the family says that husbands are to preside, provide and protect. It is through the use of priesthood power that men can do so. The priesthood is truly the most powerful force in the world. Through it miracles are wrought. 

 

 

 

A Theme Emerges

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday afternoon session of the April 2010 conference.

As I reviewed this week's talks and looked at what I had underlined a theme revealed itself to me. I guess you can tell what's on your mind by what stands out in a talk.

Elder Russell M. Nelson spoke of Generations Linked in Love, saying, "While the family is under attack throughout the world, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints proclaims, promotes, and protects the truth that the family is central to the Creator's plan for the eternal destiny of His Children."

I'm reminded of the words of Nephi that when God gives a commandment He prepares a way to obey that commandment. (1 Nephi 3:7) We are commanded to be fruitful and multiply, to have a family, so Our Heavenly Father will give us the tools and help we need to be successful accomplishing that.

Elder Robert D. Hales said, "The greatest rescue, the greatest activation will be in our homes. If someone in your family is wandering in strange paths, you are a rescuer, engaged in the greatest rescue effort the Church as ever known. I testify from personal experience: There is no failure except in giving up. It is never too early or too late to begin."

Is there a family anywhere in the church who doesn't have challenges? I don't know of any. Mortal life is hard and dangerous. I love the encouragement to never give up, and that's it's not too early or too late. I think it's important to remember that our task is to provide opportunity for them to use their agency to make choices. We are not accountable for their choices, only that we gave them the knowledge and opportunity to make them. That's hard to remember because our love for our children causes us to feel like a failure when our teachings and guidance are rejected. But it's not so different from the experiences of full-time missionaries. They aren't accountable for all the rejection they experience (goodness, I hope not!), only for their effort of sharing the gospel and their testimonies.

Elder Bradley D. Foster said, "Brothers and sisters, in a world where everyone is granted agency, some of our loved one may stray for a season. But we can never give up. We must always go back for them--we must never stop trying."

Again, the assurance that we must never give up. I know from spiritual experiences with our son James, that Heavenly Father's mercy extends beyond this life; He has a plan for each of His children to have the right opportunity to repent and accept the Savior's Atonement. He wants to save all of His children!

Elder James B. Martino said, "As we pass through the trials of life, let us keep an eternal perspective, let us not complain, let us become even more prayerful, let us serve others, and let us forgive one another."

I struggled as a missionary because I wanted to do something to soften the hearts of the people and show them that we were good Christians. The missionaries today are so blessed to have the freedom to serve in the community and show their faith by their works. I know this also is effective in families. I've worked hard to show my straying children that no matter what they choose I will love them and not cut them off from my love. I have told them I don't like their choices, but I still love them because I see their goodness. (Fortunately, they are hard workers, good citizens, serving in the military, etc., they just have rejected the Gospel.)

Elder Gregory A. Schwitzer said, "Good judgement is needed not only in understanding people but also in facing decisions that often lead us to or away from our Heavenly Father. . . . A relationship of listening often requires a quiet environment in which we can take time to ponder and hear the still, small voice."

I enjoy time with my children, one on one. I like to learn about the things each is interested in and encourage them in developing their talents and interests. There is usually a way to work in a gospel lesson by analogy when conversing about the things they love. And spending time together gives the Spirit a chance to inspire me about my child. I'm not perfect, I get impatient and frustrated. I often wonder if Heavenly Father has forgotten my family. But then a tender mercy appears and I know He loves our family and wants us to succeed.

Elder Francisco J. Viñas said, "It is interesting to notice that he [Alma the Younger] taught and gave his children their charge separately, adapting his instructions to each son, according to that son's needs. He bore testimony and taught them doctrine, preparing them to teach those same principles to others."

Alma is a superb example of a good parent. He had the power of discernment and used it to better understand each son (and hopefully his daughters). We parents often lament that our children don't come with instructions manuals. However, we can go directly to their maker for understanding and guidance. While raising our five I often prayed to know how to teach them and train them. The answers came! I could have done better, I suppose, but I did the best I could in the circumstances I was. 

Elder Neil L. Andersen said, ". . . my counsel is to speak more frequently about Jesus Christ. In His holy name is great spiritual power. . . . If a child is not listening, don't despair. Time and truth are on your side. At the right moment, your words will return as if from heaven itself. Your testimony will never leave your children."

One day I asked my children if they could tell what was most important in my life. "Yes, mom, the gospel," was their unanimous answer. Good, I was doing something right! I hope they will have called up to their minds my testimony and example when they most need it and are ready to return to the fold of the Savior.

And finally, President Thomas S. Monson said, " I urge you to study the messages, to ponder their teachings, and then to apply them in your life."

This is important advice for parents! (And other family members) Reviewing the past talks has strengthened me as much as reading The Book of Mormon. The talks given in our day are the equivalent of the sermons recorded in scriptures. They are relevant to the times and circumstances in which we live, and are in language and analogy that we can clearly understand. I don't feel complete without listening to and reading a conference talk or two each day.

General Conference Talks Answer Questions!

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Priesthood session of the October 2008 conference.

For many years I've felt less than. Less than the women featured in Church News articles, or church magazine articles, less than others called to positions of leadership. Because I don't have a college degree, because my chosen career has been wife, mother and homemaker. 

I've often wondered if there will be a different value system in the next life where those who chose to magnify the calling of wife and mother will be more valued than those who gave their life's effort to being a corporate executive or business owner or any other mortal pursuit. I've recently asked myself numerous times if I wasted my life? Should I have pursued a career outside my home? Was I too lazy to do so, and did I just take the easy road?

I'm not uneducated. Over the years I've read voraciously on many subjects: architecture, geography, history, medical science, exercise and nutrition, efficiency and organization, color theory, music, biology, and anything else that interested me. I can hold my own in just about any conversation. I'm curious about the world around me and would have made a great detective or journalist--I love to ask questions!

As a new member of the First Presidency, President Dieter F. Uchtdorf gave a memorable talk titled, "Lift Where You Stand". Among other things, he talks about the example of the Savior going about serving others and then says, "In spite of this shining example, we too easily and too often get caught up in seeking the honors of men rather than serving the Lord will all our might, mind, and strength. Brethren, [or sisters!] when we stand before the Lord to be judged, will He look upon the positions we have held in the world or even in the Church? Do you suppose that titles we have had other than 'husband,' [wife] 'father' [mother], or 'priesthood holder' [Relief Society sister] will mean much to Him? Do you think He will care how packed our schedule was or how many important meetings we attended? Do you suppose that our success in filling our days with appointments will serve as an excuse for failure to spend time with our wife [husband] and family? The Lord judges so very differently from the way we do. He is pleased with the noble servant, not with the self-serving noble." 

That gives me peace! I haven't wasted my life serving my family and in the church.  My choices to stay home, homeschool our children and serve in the church are pleasing to the Lord. I don't need to listen to my doubts.

Another question that was answered by this talk is about premonitions. Several times over the years I've had the distinct feeling that I was going to be called to a particular calling. And then it didn't happen. That has puzzled me for years! Did I listen to the wrong voice? Did I misinterpret the prompting? What was going on?

Elder Uchtdorf explains, "Sometimes He grants spiritual promptings telling us that we are worthy to receive certain callings. This is a spiritual blessing, a tender mercy from God. But sometimes we do not hear the rest of what the Lord is telling us. 'Although you are worthy to serve in this position,' He may say, 'this is not my calling for you. It is my desire instead that you lift where you stand.' God knows what is best for us."

What a relief! I did hear the right voice. I just didn't hear the full message. 

I'm really grateful for the scriptures we call General Conference talks. They truly are the word of the Lord to us; with answers to questions revealed in the Lord's timing, when we're ready to receive them. I know I'd read or heard this particular talk previously, but I didn't get the specific answers that I heard this time around. It's a nice tender mercy to experience.

True Religion

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday morning session of the April 2008 conference.

Listening to Elder Uchtdorf's talk reminded me of an experience I had as a missionary. We met an older gentleman who invited us into his lovely home. We learned that he was a Polish immigrant who had served in World War II as an agent for the US forces. He came to the US after the war, met and married his wife, etc. We taught him several lessons and he seemed interested and seemed to know it was true. I had a dream in which I saw this brother dressed in white in the temple. But he couldn't get past his promise to his mother that he would never leave the Catholic church, nor his promise to his wife that he would be a faithful Methodist. I prayed that those good ladies would visit him and tell him that it was okay to join the church, and please do so quick so they could get temple work done. That prayer went unanswered. I was transferred and never heard what happened to Brother Csikos. 

Elder Uchtdorf said, "True religion should not originate from what pleases men or the traditions of ancestors, but rather from what pleases God, our Eternal Father."

We invite everyone on this beautiful planet to taste of His doctrine and see if it is not sweet and good and precious. We ask those of sincere heart to learn of this doctrine and ask their Father in Heaven if it is not true. And by so doing, all can discover, embrace, and walk in the true faith of the Father, which faith will make them whole.

 Influencing family in the other direction, our living families, we can show them by our actions how important the Gospel and church activity is by putting obedience to God and His commandments and work first in our lives. Jesus Christ can give us an eternal family, but our family can never give us salvation and exaltation.

 

Righteous Traditions

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday afternoon session of the October 2000 conference.

When most of our children were teenagers I asked them if they could tell what was most important to me. They answered almost in unison, "The Gospel." (In voices that also said, "Duh, what a dumb question.") I was surprised and pleased at the same time. And I realized that my efforts were working.

Elder Donald L. Hallstrom of the Seventy said

Of all the traditions we should cultivate within ourselves and our families, a "tradition of righteousness" should be preeminent. Hallmarks of this tradition are an unwavering love for God and His Only Begotten Son, respect for prophets and priesthood power, a constant seeking of the Holy Spirit, and the discipline of discipleship which transforms believing into doing. A tradition of righteousness sets a pattern for living which draws children closer to parents, and both to God, and elevates obedience from a burden to a blessing.

While some of our children have strayed from the Gospel Path, I know that they had a strong foundation while growing up, and that they feel loved, accepted, and encouraged in their (righteous) endeavors now. I am hopeful that someday they will feel the pull of the Savior's love and return to the righteous traditions of the Gospel and their family.

Noble (oldest) & Me

Me with (next oldest) Lt. Lehi and his wife Miss Pasta

JET (middle child) and Me

Me and Mr. Movie (fourth in line)

Me and Dandylion (baby of the family)

Some other posts where I share how I taught my children:

Reverence, Family Home Evening, Nineteen Year Training Program

(Yes, I'm the shrimp of the family. I'm 5'7", Noble is 5'9", the boys range from 6'2" to 6'4".)

Families

First, a little PSA: Please remember the lessons we learned during the pandemic and do not bring sick children to church! Thank you!

(I've been sick three times since September from the children in my Primary class. NO MORE!!)

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday morning session of the October 1999 conference.

Each year I choose a "word of the year", something that I want to work on in my life. This year's word was contentment. But I decided that has been the wrong word. In one sense I need to be more content with the things that I can not change, but in another sense I can't be content to remain as I am. So the part of me that wants to be and do better is more active in my brain, and it spills over into everything; hence, the tendency to complain, murmur, criticize, etc. 

What does this have to do with Elder Neil L. Andersen's talk, Prophets and Spiritual Mole Crickets? Glad you asked. I was surprised to find this talk in this week's reading because I remember this talk and didn't realize it was so long ago. My how the years fly swiftly by.

This talk was about listening to and acting upon the counsel from the prophets and apostles. He relates an experience when a neighbor warned him of mole crickets in his lawn, but when he looked around he couldn't see any evidence. What he didn't know was that they were underground, and only active at night. By the time he noticed the results of the infestation it was too late to do anything about it, except through the huge expense of replacing all the sod.

Elder Andersen, then of the Seventy, told of a letter from the First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve sent to every member of the church, earlier that year, regarding families. 

We counsel parents and children to give highest priority to family prayer, family home evening, gospel study and instruction, and wholesome family activities. However worthy and appropriate other demands or activities may be, they must not be permitted to displace the divinely appointed duties that only parents and families can adequately perform.

Perhaps we need another reminder for the current generation of parents of young children. Of the seven families represented in my Primary class, only two families study the scriptures daily with Come Follow Me. A few more have Family Home Evening, and some pray at least once a day. All of the children are sent to public schools, which I think is the scariest part of the whole situation. But that's another topic. 

How can parents send their precious children out the door without the spiritual armor and inoculation that comes from daily feasting on the word of God, without a prayer for protection and guidance, without making family time the highest priority? 

Of course, there are no guarantees to parents, because our children have agency too and when they are old enough they exercise it. But the promised blessings are real. He quotes the First Presidency from 107 years ago (84 at the time of the conference):

"If the Saints obey this counsel, we promise that great blessings will result. Love at home and obedience to parents will increase. Faith will be developed in the hearts of the youth of Israel, and they will gain power to combat the evil influences and temptations which beset them."

I recently asked our oldest, a daughter what she remembers about Family Home Evening. She said she couldn't remember any specifics, just that we had it and we enjoyed it. I asked if she remembered it being, as others have described it "the only family fights that open and close with prayer"? No, she didn't remember it that way at all. Neither do I, but I wanted to check that my memory wasn't selective. I remember having good times and it being rather enjoyable with lots of laughter. 

All of our five children are adults. Two chose not to be active in the church after they left home. They are not antagonistic, they just leave it alone. I hope that someday the teachings of their childhood will be brought to their remembrance and their hearts will be changed. In the meantime, we do have the blessing of increased love. It is a joy to get together. My boys all call me with their good news, engagements, promotions, awards, etc. They call me for help with recipes or household questions, or just to talk. 

It is my firm belief that the more time a family spends together, especially in spiritual pursuits, the closer the family will be no matter what. The fruits of the spirit are love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness and temperance. We have most of those in spades!

 

Pioneers Today

This is the talk I gave today in Sacrament Meeting.

Once while serving as a missionary we were teaching and inviting a person to be baptized, the person said something like this, "I can't join the church because I don't have anyone in my family who was a pioneer." I

responded, "I don't have any 'cross the plains' ancestors either. But I will love and honor forever my grandfather who listened to the missionaries and joined the church in Norway in 1905."

 

Grandpa Hansen was born on a tiny island where the Arctic circle intersects the coast of Norway. He left the island in 1901 to go to a city and begin an apprenticeship as a baker. After two months he decided that wasn't for him and joined his sister in another city who introduced him to a tailor who gave him a job. After a few months of satisfactory work he signed a contract for a three year apprenticeship. While learning that trade, he was introduced to some Mormon missionaries and began to learn the doctrines of the Restored Gospel of Jesus Christ.

 

On 10 February 1905 Grandpa visited the missionaries and applied for baptism. They told him they'd arrange things and for him to meet them at 7:00 that evening.

 

He said, "All forenoon I studied the scriptures, and I meditated on my procedure till late in the afternoon. Suddenly a terrible storm arose. The wind shook the building till the rafters squeaked, and the snow pierced through every crevice. The darkness of the long evening had covered the town, and only a faint flicker from the street lamps could be seen. I lounged on the bed, as I felt very tired, and fell into a comfortable sleep. It is possible that I slept for several hours, but a clear and loud voice called: Conrad! It is seven o'clock!"

 

He thought someone on the stairs had called out to him, but he couldn't find anyone. He returned to his room, saw that the clock said 7:00 and remembered his appointment.

 

He was baptized in the Arctic ocean in the midst of a snowstorm in February! I love my Grandpa Hansen. He was faithful his whole life and believing that his ancestors had awakened him to remember his baptism appointment he did genealogy and temple work his whole life leaving a book of pedigrees and family group sheets over a foot tall.

 

He didn't cross the plains in a wagon or handcart, but he was a pioneer in his family. He left Norway and headed to Zion, Salt Lake City, Utah in 1906. He eventually met Rose Christensen and married her in the Salt Lake Temple on September 1, 1909. They had 15 children; my mother was number 12. Grandpa died while I was serving my mission in 1979, he was 96.

 

President Dallin Oaks gave a talk in 1997 called Following the Pioneers. That was the year of the Sesquicentennial of the arrival of the pioneers in the Salt Lake Valley, and there were reenactments of the trek, and celebrations of all kinds. He said:

"Now after all these studies and activities, it is appropriate to ask ourselves, "Therefore, what?" Are these pioneer celebrations academic, merely increasing our fund of experiences and knowledge? Or will they have a profound impact on how we live our lives?

This question applies to all of us. As President Hinckley (then prophet and president) reminded us last April, "Whether you are among the posterity of the pioneers or whether you were baptized only yesterday, each is the beneficiary of their great undertaking." All of us enjoy the blessings of their efforts and all of us have the responsibilities which go with that heritage. . .  We need to identify the great, eternal principles they applied to achieve all they achieved for our benefit and then apply those principles to the challenges of our day."

 

Elder Oaks finished his talk by telling the story of some young men who risked their lives to find out about a plot to kill the prophet Joseph Smith. He said, "The faith, commitment, and courage of these young men is an example to all of us. These pioneer qualities and the others I have mentioned--integrity, inclusion, cooperation, unity, unselfishness, sacrifice, obedience--are as vital today as when they guided the actions of our pioneer forebears, early and modern. To honor those pioneers, we must honor and act upon the eternal principles that guided their actions."

 

So what do all those lovely qualities have to do with us today in this place? How do we put them into practice? What does it mean to be a pioneer today?

 

Let's review some religious practices that need the qualities of faith, sacrifice and obedience. Perhaps you are the first in your family to pray daily. It takes faith to kneel down each day and give thanks for blessings and ask for guidance and forgiveness. The Lord said through Joseph Smith, "Thou shalt thank the Lord thy God in all things." (D&C 59:7)

 

Are you the first in your family to study the scriptures? That takes some sacrifice of other activities to accomplish. The Lord commanded us to "Search these commandments, for they are true and faithful, and the prophecies and promises which are in them shall all be fulfilled." (D&C 1:37) We should know what those prophecies and promises are! We can, through daily scripture study. I tell my Primary class that just as we need daily physical food, we need daily spiritual food. Fasting too long from spiritual food makes us weak and vulnerable to temptations.

 

Are you the first to pay tithing? Everyone who has a testimony of tithing knows that it takes faith and sacrifice, rather than money, to be obedient to that commandment. But we're told that the windows of heaven will be opened and "pour [us] out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it." What a promise! (Malachi 3:10)  I have seen it happen over and over again.

 

Maybe you're the first to attend church every Sunday? It takes integrity to live up to our beliefs and attend church each week rather than seeking and participating in worldly activities and entertainments. The Lord said, "And that thou mayest more fully keep thyself unspotted from the world, thou shalt go to the house of prayer and offer up thy sacraments upon my holy day; For verily this is a day appointed unto you to rest from your labors, and to pay thy devotions unto the Most High." The promise given for this commandment is that all the good things of the earth will be ours! Did you notice though, that we are asked to rest from OUR labors, but not the Lord's labors?  

Are you the first to accept and serve in a calling at church? Many other churches are spectator churches, where only the pastor leads and speaks; but the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is one in which we all are asked to participate in some capacity. The Lord wants us to grow and develop as we journey along. He has given us talents to increase and improve, skills to develop and share, and He asks us to serve each other. Moroni describes meetings of the saints saying: "And their meetings were conducted by the church after the manner of the workings of the Spirit, and by the power of the Holy Ghost; for as the power of the Holy Ghost led them whether to preach, or to exhort, to pray, or to supplicate, or to sing, even so it was done." (Moroni 6:9) Everyone can participate!

 

Are you the first in your family to give up tobacco and alcohol, coffee and tea? The Word of Wisdom was "adapted to the capacity of the weak and the weakest of all saints, who are or can be called saints." (D&C 89:3) God, who designed our bodies knows what is best for them. We are temples of the Spirit and need to be clean and pure to have health both in body and spirit. His commandments help us to do that.

 

Are you the first in your family to choose to follow God's commandments rather that the fads, trends, and morals of the world? The Lord told the Israelites through Moses, "Now, therefore, if ye will obey my voice indeed, and keep my covenant, then ye shall be a peculiar treasure unto me above all people: for all the earth is mine: And ye shall be unto me a kingdom of priests, and an holy nation." (Exodus 19:5-6) The apostle Peter reminded the people of his time, "But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light:" (1 Peter 2:9) In the series The Chosen, Jesus gives an instruction and Peter says, "Well that's different." Jesus answers, "Get used to different." We are called to be different from the world. Different in our beliefs, our morals, our values, our actions.

 

If you have done all or even some of these things you are a pioneer. You are blazing a new path for your family. Just like my Grandpa Hansen. And those who follow you will love and honor you for your faith, sacrifices and obedience.

 

The best part of being on this trek is that we are not alone. There are many who have gone before, and many on the path now, who can help us along when the going gets tough. And it will, because this life is a test. Remember what Abraham was told: ". . . we will prove them herewith, to see if they will do all things whatsoever the Lord their God shall command them." (Moses 3:25) Do all things! Not just when it's easy, not just when we feel like it, not just when we have the time or money or whatever. We are to do all things God commands us. All the time!

 

No doubt there were days when the original pioneer's fervor for the journey was at low ebb; when walking in the dust of the wagon train, or pushing the handcart seemed more than they could bear another day. But they kept going through the motions of putting one foot in front of the other and made progress to their promised land in spite of the difficulties or the lack of glamor and excitement on the trail. Perhaps the best thing that happened on those dull days was a cooling breeze, a bright wildflower, a colorful sunset, or a brilliant moonrise. Perhaps gathering with fellow travelers after supper was enough to strengthen them for the next day. Prayer, hymns, and scriptures were the spiritual food to give them strength to carry on. Feeding their spirits was just as important as feeding their bodies.

 

Today we may go through similar times of low ebb, when the journey seems long and our enthusiasm is waning. But rather than sit at the side of the road, or worse, turn back, if we'll just keep going through the motions of reading scriptures each day, praying each day, and keeping the commandments each day, we too will make progress to our promised land. Our best thing might be a scripture verse that speaks deeply to our heart and soul, a cheerful text from a friend, an uplifting email or post on social media; perhaps gathering on Sunday with fellow saints will allow us to hear just the thing to lift our spirits and feed our souls.

 

The hymn Come, Come Ye Saints is as applicable to us today as it was for those who crossed the plains in wagons, handcarts and on foot.

Come, come ye saints, no toil nor labor fear;

But with joy, wend your way.

Though hard to you, this journey may appear,

Grace shall be, as your day.

'Tis better far for us to strive

Our useless cares from us to drive

Do this, and joy your hearts will swell--

All is well! All is well!

 

Why should we mourn or think our lot is hard?

'Tis not so, all is right.

Why should we think to earn a great reward

If we now shun the fight?

Gird up your loins, fresh courage take.

Our God will never us forsake;

And soon we'll have this tale to tell--

All is well! All is well!

 

The scriptures are full of stories of pioneers. Lehi was one, taking his family into the wilderness to escape the destruction of Jerusalem and being led to a promised land. His son Nephi had learned how to inquire of the Lord and receive answers. He was commanded to build a ship, and although he knew to ask where to get ore to manufacture tools, he had never built a ship. But he gives us a pattern to live by.

And the Lord did show me from time to time after what manner I should work the timbers of the ship.

Now I, Nephi, did not work the timbers after the manner which was learned by men, neither did I build the ship after the manner of men; but I did build it after the manner which the Lord had shown unto me; . . . (1 Nephi 18:3)

 

When is our "from time to time" where we learn how to build our lives in the manner the Lord wants? I suggest that General Conference is one such time. Every six months we receive instructions and encouragement, as well as calls for repentance or to change, from our leaders, called of God to do so. But what good is General Conference if we don't tune in, don't listen, and then don't study each talk and glean the message that is there for us? Let's clear our calendar for that weekend, gather our family, watch together and enjoy the spiritual feast of good music and uplifting talks. It's a wonderful pause in our daily trek to the promised land.

 

Another "from time to time" can be the time spent in the temple. The early pioneers recognized how important temple covenants would be on their trek and made the effort to finish the temple and receive their endowments and sealings before they left Nauvoo. They didn't get to go to the temple again for a very long time. We are so blessed! Our temple is relatively close and we can return again and again to feel the sweet spirit that is there. While there we are instructed and encouraged for our journey through life. You can be the first in your family to receive these blessings and know the richness of Heavenly Father's gifts. I promise it is worth all the work to get there.

 

My parents lived in the same house and attended the same ward for over sixty years. I loved those ward members as my extended family. Then I married a Marine and began moving to one new ward family after another as we moved around the country. Some wards are easier to fit into than others. Some church families have more crazy relatives than others. But we still journey together and help each other. We love the older members for their wisdom and patience, and we love the younger members for their energy and enthusiasm.

 

Because we are not traveling side by side as the pioneers did on their trek across the plains we don't always see what is going on in each other's lives. We don't see when the wheel falls off the wagon, or the ox is lame, or when the flour barrel is running low. We don't see sicknesses of body, mind or spirit. We generally only see each other at our relative best on Sunday. We put on a cheerful face, our nicest clothes, and do our best to appear to be doing well on our journey.

 

However, I've learned through my own family experiences and getting to know others in our church families that absolutely NO ONE, is free from challenges of one kind or another throughout life. This is why those eternal principles of inclusion, cooperation, unity, and unselfishness are so vital to us today. We need each other to make it faithfully to the end of our journey. We are all part of each other's church family: we are brothers and sisters, parents and children, aunts, uncles and cousins. We simply cannot make it alone. We need the strengths of each other to compensate for our weaknesses as we help each other overcome and conquer those weaknesses and remain faithful to the end.

 

I want to end with a parable Jesus taught. He said:

The kingdom of heaven is like a householder who went out in the morning to hire workers for his vineyard. And he agreed with the workers for a silver coin per day, and he sent them into his vineyard. And the third hour came, and he saw others standing in the marketplace idle, and he said to them, 'Go to the vineyard, and whatever is just I will pay you.' And they went. Again, he went in the sixth and ninth hours, and he did the same. About the eleventh hour, he came and found other standing, and he said to them, 'Why did you stand here idle all day long?' They said to him, 'Because no one hired us.' He said to them, 'Go to the vineyard.' When it was evening, the master of the vineyard said to his caretaker, 'Call the workers and give them their wages beginning from the last until the first.' And those hired in the eleventh hour came, and each received a silver coin. And those who came first thought they would be paid more, but each received a silver coin. (Matt 20:1-10)

 

We are like those laborers. No matter when we join the church, early or late, we all can receive the same blessings from our Father in Heaven. It doesn't matter how or when we begin, what matters is how we end.

 

That we might help each other endure and serve faithfully to the end is my fervent hope and prayer.

 

 

We Thank Thee, O God, For a Prophet!

With the world in commotion on almost every topic under the sun, I'm so grateful to have a living prophet on earth to lead and guide us on the path of righteousness following the Savior.

When The Family: A Proclamation to the World was read in 1995 at the Relief Society General Broadcast, I wrote my feelings of gratitude in the form of a hymn text.

How Blessed We Are

By Rozann W. Thoelke

How blessed we are to have a guide

A prophet of the Lord

To lead us in these latter-days

Of famine, drought, and sword.

With strident voices on all sides

He speaks a calming word

To cheer us and encourage us;

The Lord, our prayers has heard.

He calls to us “Repent from sin.”

And asks us to do more

To live the gospel in our homes

Rich blessings are in store.

We pray for him to lead us in

The way of righteousness.

He has not faltered, nor yet will

Let’s follow and be blessed.

These words fit the tune of God Moves in a Mysterious Way, Hymn # 285.

Twenty years later my gratitude has grown a hundred fold.

Family

These are the most important people in my life! 

Photo take after the Saturday evening session of Stake Conference.

(l to r) TopDad, Dandylion, PFCMom, Lt. Lehi, Noble, JET, Mr. Movie (aka 'Ol Sobersides)

aka Steve, Daniel, Rozann, Paul, Elizabeth, Joseph, James

It was the first time in many, many years we were all together in church. Such a blessing.

Mother's Day

My own mother passed three years ago; lilacs were among her most favorite flowers.

The house in the background belongs to our neighbors, our little house is to the right, see the shadow?

Our traditional Mother's Day portrait: 

Dandylion, Mr. Movie, PFCMom, JET

Here's the portrait from 2009 for comparison. Different lilac bush, this one in Utah. My mother loved pictures in front of lilacs!

Mr. Movie, Lt. Lehi, Dandylion, Noble, PFCMom, JET

Parental Lessons

Our son JET has begun to attend church again after several years of "vacation". I was wondering, out loud, to my husband about why this change in attitude. What actually came out of my mouth was a profound lesson to me. I said something like "I think that my showing interest in the things that are important to him, like going to the car show and getting excited about cars in general helped him know that I love him for who he is; and when he felt safe in my love he decided that he could return to church." JET has long felt that he didn't measure up to the spiritual stature of his older brother, and that I loved him less because of that. NOT TRUE! But maybe now he really does feel I love him for himself, which is totally true, and therefore he can return to church. Whatever the reason, I'm pleased, but I don't love him more, because I never loved him less.

It gives me a glimpse into the heart of Heavenly Father and the Savior.

General Conference Thoughts

We enjoyed the sumptuous feast of General Conference this past weekend. Among the many things I love about conference are the dignity and solemnity with which the brethren conduct the meetings; there's no joking about, stumbling around or forgetting important things; the program is prepared and complete. I love the beautiful music, which always seems to fit the subjects of the talks; which means they are truly inspired in their selections. I especially enjoy that the speakers jump right into their subjects without a silly recitation of who called them to speak and how they felt and how they struggled to write their talk, and how nervous they are, and how they wished it were someone else up here, and here's an unrelated joke to show you how nervous I am; and, well, you get the picture. (It's one of my pet peeves in Sacrament Meeting speakers.) I love how the General Conference speakers take a personal experience and relate it to a gospel doctrine or principle, helping us to understand more deeply the application in our own lives.

During this conference I was thrilled to hear four of the speakers give their addresses in their native languages, Cantonese, Portuguese, and Spanish. To me this is proof of the universality of the gospel and the omniscience of God. He understands His children no matter what language we speak; and the gospel message can penetrate the hearts of all God's children on earth.

It boggles my mind to hear persons say that the General Authorities are old and out of touch with society. Listening to them it should be clear that they are more "in touch" than anyone else on earth. They are experienced, well-traveled, well-connected to the leaders of nations, churches, universities, businesses, etc., as well as well-read and knowledgeable about more subjects than I can count. They are wise and insightful on their own, but have the greater wisdom that comes directly from God to teach and lead us.

The best part of conference is that each person listening will hear and glean what is important for himself/herself (the English language is lacking in pronouns!) at the time. When my girlfriend and I compare notes I am amazed at what she heard 'cause I didn't hear those same things. What a marvel of personal revelation.

We enjoyed being together as a family, minus two (Noble and Lt. Lehi). Our tradition of gathering to hear the prophets, apostles and other general authorities and officers was upheld and continued. To me that is an important accomplishment.

I encourage you to take time to listen to the counsel given, and then as was asked in the closing prayer "Help us live what we have learned."

Thought for the Day

It takes a whole lot more time and effort to raise a righteous, loving family, than it takes to build a house to put them in.

Merry Christmas

This Christmas with only two chuns at home, I'm more grateful than ever for the blessings of eternal families. Christmas for me is a celebration of the gifts of a Savior, and the restoration of His Gospel with all its attendant blessings.

May you have a joyous day with loved ones. Merry Christmas!

Trials: The Jury is Still Out

The past two months have been awful and wonderful. Awful because of trials in the form of persecution against me in the branch; wonderful because it has shown me a side of my husband hitherto not seen, and brought us closer together, which is a huge blessing. Nothing is resolved yet, but we're getting closer.

Our First Annual Family Reunion in June was a success and we look forward to next year as we establish this tradition. It was awesome to have all four sons here together. We missed our delightful daughter, but had seen her in May. For the next ten years we expect that not everyone will be at every reunion; however, if we continue in the tradition we can anticipate some wonderful times with our growing family.

School begins in two weeks! Yikes, where did the summer go? We have accomplished a lot and had some wonderful times together, I just want more!

Whisperings of the Spirit and the Nineteen Year Training Program

Once upon a time, a long time ago, there was a frazzled mother of young children who was done in by the endless needs of her children and household. In her mind she thought "I wish my children would quit interrupting my work." And into her heart came the still small voice saying "Your children ARE your work," which changed the heart of the mother of young children by helping her to remember that she had chosen this work in the beginning.

I think it was about that time my husband and I were inspired with the idea of a "nineteen year training program." In other words, we had about nineteen years to teach and train our children to become self-sufficient (enough) adults to leave home.

Training has included dress and grooming, chores, finances, spirituality, morality, talents, service, work, education and culture. Whenever our patience is wearing thin we remind each other that this offending party child has not yet completed the training program so we should forgive and be more patient.

We have three adult children now, all living more or less successfully away from home. Two are faithful to the gospel, one struggles with worldliness. We love all of them. They are self-sufficient, loving, good natured, intelligent, serving, caring individuals. We have good relationships with all three. It is great to see the products of our "nineteen year training program."

Through the years I've had many "whisperings of the spirit" come into my heart to guide me and comfort me in my chosen profession. I once wrote in my journal that I hope that worth is calculated differently in heaven and that those who choose to be stay at home moms will be honored beyond all the other mothers who chose worldly honors and achievements. I'm mostly anonymous, no one other than my children asks for my advice and counsel, no one interviews me about my achievements or aspirations, and hardly anybody, outside of my family and closest friends will know or care when I die. Over the years, though, I've learned that it doesn't matter, because I matter to the one who matters most to me. My Savior and my Heavenly Father. If I can please them, and live up to their expectations and trust of me, then my life will have been worth living.

I often tell my children, I'm teaching you this (whatever gospel principle I'm teaching at the moment) so you can never use the excuse, "My mom never taught me." You will be free to choose the way you want to live once you leave our home, but you will never be able to say "My mom never taught me ______." I have done my best to teach you because I don't want to have to stand before the judgement bar and feel ashamed that I didn't do my very best to teach you the gospel and how to return to our Father in Heaven.

So many struggle with the decision of whether to have a career or family. For what it's worth I'll give some counsel, the same I give my own children, especially my daughter.

This mortal life is short, in eternal time, and we only get one shot at it, there aren't any do overs. So when making a decision of any importance look at what is eternally valuable or important.

How can any worldly career compare with the bringing of spirits to this earth for their turn to experience mortality. Being a mother earlier rather than later is better because having babies is a young people's sport. Just ask any forty year old mother of an infant. But later is better than not at all. After all I didn't get married until I was thirty, so I missed out on about ten years of child bearing. I just never wanted to live with regrets for not starting right away in our marriage to begin our family. 

The full rewards of parenting are few and far between and sometimes long in coming, sometimes taking as long as nineteen or twenty years! But I have found them sweeter and more valuable than any earthly plaudits because of their eternal significance.

May you find joy in your journey through mortality and the great responsibility of parenthood.