God's Love and Laws

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday afternoon session of the October 2009 conference.

Some of our children were easier to teach than others. One, especially, questioned everything and wanted to know why. Why did we have to obey the restrictive commandments? I often used analogies to explain things. Just as I am older and more experienced than my children, and can see a bigger picture, God is older, more experienced and wiser too. He sees an eternal perspective. His commandments are like our house and family rules, they are to help us be safe, productive, and happy living together.

Elder Oaks talk, Love and Law, reinforced this concept for me.

The love of God does not supersede His laws and His commandments, and the effect of God's laws and commandments does not diminish the purpose and effect of His love. The same should be true of parental love and rules.

One of the things that is hardest for parents is to allow natural consequences to follow the breaking of rules. Too often we extend mercy before the "weight of sin" is felt and we don't allow children to take some time to "come to themselves" and repent. We want to keep the peace, not interrupt or derail our plans. We don't want to get angry!

God's love is so perfect that He lovingly requires us to obey His commandments because He know that only through obedience to His laws can we become perfect, as He is. For this reason, God's anger and His wrath are not a contradiction of His love, but an evidence of His love.

I'm not trying to justify abuse, but there's nothing wrong with letting our children know how disappointed we are, or how unhappy, or upset we are when they deliberately disobey. (I'm not talking about untrained toddlers here. Sometimes we are impatient with a child who just doesn't know any better. We quickly find out where we need to do some teaching and training.)

God's choicest blessings are clearly contingent upon obedience to God's laws and commandments.

I know this to be true better than I know anything else. While I know I have been forgiven of serious sins as a young adult, I also know I have missed out on blessings, and have suffered the consequences of my sins for decades. Maybe God provides miracles for some in removing consequences, but He hasn't for me. I have apologized to my children who also have had to endure the consequences of my choices. 

God does not intervene to forestall the consequences of some persons' choices in order to protect the well-being of other persons--even when they kill, injure, or oppress one another--for this would destroy His plan for eternal progress. He will bless us to endure the consequences of others' choices, but He will not prevent those choices. 

Despite the somber tone of this talk I find it uplifting and hopeful. God's plan is working. And because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ all things will be made right in the end.

Recently I was pondering about our son James and the poor choices he made and how lost he was. Into my mind came his voice saying, "I'm not lost now, Mom." No, he's not lost anymore. The rescue of the Savior extends to all. James is safe from the power of Satan; he is endowed with priesthood power and able to move forward now. God loves all of His children and has provided a way for repentance and mercy through Jesus Christ.

God's love is evident through His laws. Our love should be evident through our obedience. I'm sure that once I make it through this life I will kneel at His feet and thank Him for His laws, and for His mercy in providing a Savior for when I wasn't strong enough or smart enough to obey those laws. 

 

Choices

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday afternoon session of the April 2009 conference.

One quote stood out to me as an answer to a question that I didn't even know I had.

Elder José A. Teixeira said, "Our Father in Heaven respects our freedom to choose and will never force us to do what is right, nor will He impede us from making mediocre choices."

I guess that is the mark of a mature and perfect parent: letting their (adult) children choose and then allowing them to face the consequences of their choices. Fortunately for us He is also merciful and doesn't punish us instantly. Rather, He gives us time and opportunity to repent and be restored. He also has the magnificent ability to make something good out of our foolishness. And for that I'm so grateful.

Lesson about Heavenly Father's Love for Me

Last Saturday morning as I was puttering in the kitchen I heard the front door open and someone walk in. I wasn't expecting anyone so I went to the living room to investigate. As I rounded the corner into the room there was JET with a huge bouquet of flowers. I had forgotten that he was coming over. My heart overflowed with love for him. He is tall, handsome and was offering me flowers! He even remembered my favorite colors and had his florist friend make a bouquet just for me.

All through the day as we visited I thought this must be how Heavenly Father feels about us. He loves us! With all the tender feelings of a parent. He may not approve of what we do and be disappointed because of our choices, but He loves us deeply, eternally, and unconditionally. He welcomes us with open arms whenever we approach him. He rejoices when we come home to Him. He must beam when we express gratitude, and must feel joy when we give Him a gift.

Another Lesson from Parenting

Children want privileges. As much or more than they want food sometimes. They will whine and beg, plead and cajole, make promises they won’t keep, anything, to get what they want. Our response while raising our children was, “Responsibilities before privileges. If you want something you have to show us that you are responsible and worthy of it.” They rarely liked being told that. We attempted to be as consistent as we could (being mere mortals) in applying that. All five of our children are now adults and we think they understand it. At least they show signs of understanding it most of the time (they have joined the ranks of us “mere mortal” adults).

I thought about how we raised our children as I read a few reports of the March of the Vulgar Females in Washington DC. They appeared to me to be quite childish in their understanding of how the world works. They want “rights” without talking about and taking on responsibilities. Privileges without first working for them. Marching and screaming don’t qualify as working for them. That’s more like having a temper tantrum.

I wanted to say to those females, as I often did to our children, show me! Show me that you have done everything you could to prove that you are mature, and able to handle the privilege you are requesting. What was truly weird to me is that I wasn’t really sure what they wanted. I mean, in the United States of America, what rights do adult males have that adult females don’t? Can someone please enlighten me? And if they were simply protesting the election of a new president, why the vulgarity? Why lower themselves to such a level and expect to be taken serious?

Those women certainly don’t represent me. I’m quite content to be a wife, mother, and homemaker; contributing to the greater good by raising civilized, productive citizens. I like being a woman, married to a man, joined together in making life easier and happier for each other. I like being a mother, at home where it matters in the lives of children; being there for them at the crossroads of life. They ALL call me to check in (I call it plugging in) with Mom, ask for advice, share what they are doing, and thank me for all I did and do for them. I love them more than I can express. I have learned so very much from them!

Which brings me to my last point. As I was contemplating all this I felt the Spirit whisper to me that responsibilities before privileges is an eternal principle. We are expected to show faith through our actions before blessings arrive. We can't just pray a laundry list of requests and expect God to wave a magic wand granting us all we wish for. We have to work and prove ourselves trustworthy and faithful.

I love learning. Especially eternal principles through parenting. God, Our Heavenly Father is our parent, we are the children, learning to become like Him. It’s a good feeling to know I’m on the right path.