Counsel from the First Presidency

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Priesthood session of the April 2010 conference.

Even though I study the gospel every day I have felt my spirituality draining away for reasons that I don't fully understand. Have I had such powerful experiences in the past that I don't feel anything less than that? Are there sins I need to repent of? (Yes, always.) Am I being tested further? (Probably, of course.) Am I studying or doing the wrong things, or for the wrong reasons? (I don't know.)

I'm glad that I am studying the past General Conferences as their messages seem tailor made for my situation today. How does that work?

The talks by the First Presidency were especially meaningful to me. Even though they were speaking to the men of the church I could feel that their counsel applied almost equally to the women. At least to this woman.

President Uchtdorf talked about continuing in patience. We are in the midst of a move at the moment and life feels rather unsettled, because it actually is. I can't see the end of this situation and have to go forward with faith in every footstep.  

He says, "From that experience, I learned that patience is far more than simply waiting for something to happen--patience required actively working toward worthwhile goals and not getting discouraged when results didn't appear instantly or without effort. . . . Patience means actively waiting and enduring. It means staying with something and doing all that we can--working, hoping, exercising faith, bearing hardship with fortitude, even when the desires of our hearts are delayed. Patience is not simply enduring; it is enduring well."

I'm revisiting the lesson that I often have to take a step forward without knowing the next step. 

I know for sure that the promises of the Lord, if perhaps not always swift, are always certain. . . . Often we can't see the Lord's hand in our lives until long after trials have passed. 

I think that will prove to be true of the trials I am going through right now. There is a purpose, which I can't see, for the things that are happening. My job is to be faithful no matter what.

 

 Patience is truly a fruit of the Spirit. Patience means staying with something until the end. [I always think of pregnancy] It means delaying immediate gratification for future blessings. It means reining in anger and holding back the unkind word. It means resisting evil, even it appears to be making others rich.

I am learning that patience is an important Godly virtue. Heavenly Father is eternally patient with me in my weakness and stumbling. I must learn to be patient with others, and with circumstances outside of my control, enduring faithfully and actively until I receive the promised blessings.

President Eyring continued the theme with a talk about acting in all diligence. He said, "When I find myself drawn away from my [Relief Society] duties by other interests and when my body begs for rest, I give to myself this rallying cry: Remember Him. . . . He taught us a lesson by what He did in three days in the spirit world before His Resurrection, which I remember whenever I am tempted to feel that I have finished some hard task in His service and deserve a rest." 

I'll be sixty-eight this year, part of my brain says it is time to retire, but hearing the Apostles speak reminds me that they don't get to retire and they are a decade or two or three older than me! 

I close now with this counsel to the Lord's [Relief Society] servants. Ponder deeply and diligently in the scriptures and in the words of living prophets. Persist in prayer for the Holy Ghost to reveal to you the nature of God the Father and His Beloved Son. Plead that the Spirit will show you what the Lord wants you to do. Plan to do it. Promise Him to obey. Act with determination until you have done what He asked. And then pray to give thanks for the opportunity to serve and to know what you might do next.

I now have my instructions!

President Monson added to the theme with Preparation Brings Blessings. He said, "Let us consider our callings, let us reflect on our responsibilities, and let us follow Jesus Christ, our Lord."

Right now I don't have any formal callings because we've had our records transferred to our new branch. No matter, I'm still under covenant to share the gospel, serve my fellowman, and be an example of the believer. We have new neighbors just behind us. They are a lovely family and I've already had opportunities to serve them, and they me. I'm sad we can't stay and enjoy their friendship longer. I hope for a way and opportunity to share the gospel with them.

President Monson addresses an issue in 2010 that I've seen recently on social media regarding member's dress and grooming. He said, "The way you dress sends messages about yourself to others and often influences the way you and others act. Dress in such a way to bring out the best in yourself and those around you. Avoid extremes in clothing and appearance, including tattoos and piercings."

I've never heard any of the apostles rescind what President Hinckley taught about tattoos and piercings in 2000, but there seems to be a whole lot of people who think it is okay. I know we're expected to be accepting and give grace to converts who didn't know any better. But perhaps we could rewatch his address from 2000 (isn't it wonderful to have access to past talks) to educate those who are like the little children of King Benjamin's time and didn't hear or understand the prophet's counsel.

One line in particular stood out to me from President Monson's talk. He said, "Remember that prayer is the passport to spiritual power." That hit me hard because I realized prayer is what I'm struggling with the most. 

When I was raising our five children I had rules we followed when going shopping. Because we homeschooled I took our five everywhere with me. Two of the rules were: 1) Stay by Mom, close enough to touch her; 2) No whining or begging. Number 2 was in case they asked for something and I said no, or not today. I didn't want to negotiate or listen to them whining and begging. Because of that rule I've wondered and pondered, does Heavenly Father feel the same way when I ask for something over and over again? Am I whining and begging? I often think, well, I've asked once and He knows what I asked for, if He's ready to give it to me it will happen, if not, okay, He knows best. This is a struggle for me, and I want to understand and do and be better.

I know that my Heavenly Father loves me because He sends me little messages through His Apostles that answer questions and concerns I have. We are richly blessed when we study their words.

 

 

More Than A Few Good Things

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday morning session of the April 2007 conference.

So many memorable talks in this session. I'll share some of my highlights:

Elder Richard G. Scott spoke of prayer - Think of it: the absolute Supreme Being, the most all-knowing, all-seeing, all-powerful personage, encourages you and me, as insignificant as we are, to converse with Him as our Father. . . . Our supplication can be brief or can occupy all the time needed. It can be an extended expression of love and gratitude or an urgent plea for help. . . . A key to improved prayer is to learn to ask the right questions. Consider changing from asking for the things you want to honestly asking what He wants for you. . . . Each prayer is tailored to its purpose, with a clear statement of what needs resolution, as well as ample expression of gratitude for specific, recognized blessings. . . . What do you do when you have prepared carefully, have prayed fervently, waited a reasonable time for a response, and still do not feel an answer? You may want to express thanks when that occurs, for it is an evidence of His trust. . . . When you are living righteously and are acting with trust, God will not let you proceed too far without a warning impression if you have made the wrong decision.

Elder Jay E. Jensen spoke of Hymns - [And aren't the new ones just lovely!] Hymns "create a feeling of reverence." The words reverence and revelation are like twins who like each other's company. . . . Singing hymns and listening to appropriate music begin at home.

Elder John B. Dickson spoke of Commitment to the Lord - (He was our Stake President in Washington) Your commitment can begin from where you are presently, whether young or old, including repenting and forsaking sin where mistakes have already been made. . . . As you commit now to do the will of the Lord, He will help and strengthen you. Your faith, trust, and desire to follow Him will be your greatest key to success.

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland spoke of Words - We should honor the Savior's declaration to "be of good cheer." . . . Speak hopefully. Speak encouragingly, including about yourself. Try not to complain and moan incessantly. . . . no misfortune is so bad that whining about it won't make it worse. . . . With such words [the encouraging ones], spoken under the influence of the Spirit, tears can be dried, hearts can be healed, lives can be elevated, hope can return, confidence can prevail.

Elder David A. Bednar gave the famous Parable of the Pickle - [Even my children remember this one!] After we come out of the waters of baptism, our souls need to be continuously immersed in and saturated with the truth and the light of the Savior's gospel. Sporadic and shallow dipping in the doctrine of Christ and partial participation in His restored Church cannot produce the spiritual transformation that enable us to walk in a newness of life. Rather, fidelity to covenants, constancy of commitment, and offering our whole soul unto God are required if we are to receive the blessings of eternity.

President Thomas S. Monson spoke of the resurrection - Through tears and trials, through fears and sorrows, through the heartache and loneliness of losing loved ones, there is assurance that life is everlasting. Our Lord and Savior is the living witness that such is so.

The Lifeline of Prayer

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday morning session of the April 2002 conference.

Each of us has problems that we cannot solve and weaknesses that we cannot conquer without reaching out through prayer to a higher source of strength. That source is the God of heaven to whom we pray in the name of Jesus Christ. As we pray we should think of our Father in Heaven as possessing all knowledge, understanding, love and compassion.

President James E. Faust began this session with just the right message for me this week.

I don't know why I struggle with prayer so much, but I do. One of the rules I had for our children was "No whining, or begging." When I pray for the same things over and over I feel like I'm whining and begging to my Heavenly Father, and that makes me feel uncomfortable. I've already asked Him; He knows what I need; He'll answer when He deems it right, or not. I don't need to keep asking. Do I? 

President Faust says, "God knows our needs better than we can state them, but He wants us to approach Him in faith to ask for blessings, safety, and comfort."

I love listening to the prayers given in General Conference and in the temple. I have learned a lot from listening carefully. Once, in the temple I heard a most profound way of asking for blessings. After stating the desired blessings the brother said, "Bless us according to our needs, according to our faith, and according to thy will." I have used that phrasing ever since, which helps me feel that no matter what happens it will be according to God's will and for the best.

President Faust said, "An important element of all our prayers might well be to follow the pattern of that prayer in Gethsemane: 'not my will, but thine, be done.' By this, then, we acknowledge our devotion and submission to the overriding purposes of the Lord in our lives."

I know prayer works. The most recent and profound example is just after our son took his life. The first night was horrible: sleepless and tearful. Then word spread, and family and friends, as well as strangers, began praying for us. The second night we enjoyed deep and restful sleep. It was as if we were shielded for a time from all the pain by the prayers for comfort offered.

What a glorious day it will be for each of us when we pray with confidence that 'if we ask anything according to his will, he heareth us.'

My mother had a special gift, a virtual direct line to heaven. When she prayed for something, it happened! I wish I had that "super power". (Or do I sin in my wish?)

I'll keep trying. If I don't give up, eventually I'll get it right.

 

Conference is a Guide for Our Journey

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday morning session of the October 2001 conference.

Conference opened with an address by then prophet, President Gordon B. Hinckley titled Living in the Fulness of Times. He talked of the mighty miracles of our modern times and reminded us that along with all that, "the Lord has restored His ancient priesthood. He has organized His Church and Kingdom during the past century and a half. . . . We have seen only the foreshadowing of the mighty force for good that this church will become. . . . Our strength is our faith in the Almighty. . . .The Lord has given us the goal toward which we work. That goal is to build His kingdom, which is a mighty cause of great numbers of men and women of faith, of integrity, of love and concern for mankind, marching forward to create a better society, bringing blessings upon ourselves and upon the heads of others."

Building on that theme then Elder Dallin H. Oaks spoke of sharing the gospel which begins with desire, and then . . . "love for God and for all of His children. . . . The intensity of our desire to share the gospel is a great indicator of the extent of our personal conversion." He said, "The most effective missionaries, member and full-time, always act out of love." When explaining how to do it, he said, "We begin by beginning." Sometimes I'm guilty of planning too much and acting too little. I remember President Spencer W. Kimball's teaching to "Do it!" Elder Oaks cautions, "We must be sure we act out of love and not in any attempt to gain personal recognition or advantage." He testifies that, "The gospel of Jesus Christ is the brightest light and the only hope for this darkened world."

All of the talks in this session were so timely and inspiring! Elder Charles Didier spoke of building a bridge of faith ". . . for crossing and overcoming the walls of unbelief, indifference, fear, or sin. Our mortal life is the time for men to meet God by building a bridge of faith, opening the door into immortality and eternal life."

Sister Sheri L. Dew, Second Counselor in the Relief Society General Presidency, spoke of marriage. Her message is much needed today. "Lucifer is determined to devour marriages and families, because their demise threatens the salvation of all involved and the vitality of the Lord's kingdom itself. Thus, Satan seeks to confuse us about our stewardships and distinctive natures as men and women. He bombards us with bizarre messages about gender, marriage, family, and all male-female relationships. He would have us believe men and women are so alike that our unique gifts are not necessary, or so different that we can never hope to understand each other. Neither is true."

Elder Henry B. Eyring gave a beautiful sermon on prayer, concluding with this promise: "If you ponder the scriptures and begin to do what you covenanted with God to do, I can promise you that you will feel more love for God and more of His love for you. And with that your prayers will come from the heart, full of thanks and of pleading. You will feel a greater dependence on God. You will find the courage and determination to act in His service, without fear and with peace in your heart. You will pray always. And you will not forget Him, no matter what the future brings."

President James E. Faust, Second Counselor in the First Presidency finished the session with a masterful sermon on the Atonement of Jesus Christ. "Our salvation depends on believing in and accepting the Atonement. Such acceptance requires a continual effort to understand it more fully. . . . All of us have sinned and need to repent to fully pay our part of the debt. When we sincerely repent, the Savior's magnificent Atonement pays the rest of the debt."

He quoted President J. Reuben Clark Jr., "I feel that [the Savior] will give that punishment which is the very least that our transgression will justify. I believe that he will bring into his justice all the infinite love and blessing and mercy and kindness and understanding which he has. . . . And on the other hand, I believe that when it comes to making the rewards for our good conduct, he will give us the maximum that it is possible to give, having in mind the offense which we have committed." This gave me great comfort as I ponder what will happen to our son who took his own life. James had so many good qualities and was loving, kind and generous, often going without to give to others. He was such a good son and brother. I'm relying on the grace and mercy of the Savior's Atonement to make things right with James. I wish I could have taught him better to look to the Savior for help and redemption. Perhaps this is why we should allow our children to experience little failures and disappointments early in life so we can teach them who to look to for support, strength to overcome and forgiveness for mistakes. "The evil influence of Satan would destroy any hope we have in overcoming our mistakes. He would have us feel that we are lost and that there is no hope. In contrast, Jesus reaches down to lift us up. Through our repentance and the gift of the Atonement, we can prepare to be worthy to stand in His presence."

Listening to and reading the conference talks each week has given me so much strength to carry on in the face of tragedy. I'm so grateful for prophets and apostles, both ancient and modern to guide me on my journey through the wilderness of life to my Promised Land of eternity.

Families

First, a little PSA: Please remember the lessons we learned during the pandemic and do not bring sick children to church! Thank you!

(I've been sick three times since September from the children in my Primary class. NO MORE!!)

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday morning session of the October 1999 conference.

Each year I choose a "word of the year", something that I want to work on in my life. This year's word was contentment. But I decided that has been the wrong word. In one sense I need to be more content with the things that I can not change, but in another sense I can't be content to remain as I am. So the part of me that wants to be and do better is more active in my brain, and it spills over into everything; hence, the tendency to complain, murmur, criticize, etc. 

What does this have to do with Elder Neil L. Andersen's talk, Prophets and Spiritual Mole Crickets? Glad you asked. I was surprised to find this talk in this week's reading because I remember this talk and didn't realize it was so long ago. My how the years fly swiftly by.

This talk was about listening to and acting upon the counsel from the prophets and apostles. He relates an experience when a neighbor warned him of mole crickets in his lawn, but when he looked around he couldn't see any evidence. What he didn't know was that they were underground, and only active at night. By the time he noticed the results of the infestation it was too late to do anything about it, except through the huge expense of replacing all the sod.

Elder Andersen, then of the Seventy, told of a letter from the First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve sent to every member of the church, earlier that year, regarding families. 

We counsel parents and children to give highest priority to family prayer, family home evening, gospel study and instruction, and wholesome family activities. However worthy and appropriate other demands or activities may be, they must not be permitted to displace the divinely appointed duties that only parents and families can adequately perform.

Perhaps we need another reminder for the current generation of parents of young children. Of the seven families represented in my Primary class, only two families study the scriptures daily with Come Follow Me. A few more have Family Home Evening, and some pray at least once a day. All of the children are sent to public schools, which I think is the scariest part of the whole situation. But that's another topic. 

How can parents send their precious children out the door without the spiritual armor and inoculation that comes from daily feasting on the word of God, without a prayer for protection and guidance, without making family time the highest priority? 

Of course, there are no guarantees to parents, because our children have agency too and when they are old enough they exercise it. But the promised blessings are real. He quotes the First Presidency from 107 years ago (84 at the time of the conference):

"If the Saints obey this counsel, we promise that great blessings will result. Love at home and obedience to parents will increase. Faith will be developed in the hearts of the youth of Israel, and they will gain power to combat the evil influences and temptations which beset them."

I recently asked our oldest, a daughter what she remembers about Family Home Evening. She said she couldn't remember any specifics, just that we had it and we enjoyed it. I asked if she remembered it being, as others have described it "the only family fights that open and close with prayer"? No, she didn't remember it that way at all. Neither do I, but I wanted to check that my memory wasn't selective. I remember having good times and it being rather enjoyable with lots of laughter. 

All of our five children are adults. Two chose not to be active in the church after they left home. They are not antagonistic, they just leave it alone. I hope that someday the teachings of their childhood will be brought to their remembrance and their hearts will be changed. In the meantime, we do have the blessing of increased love. It is a joy to get together. My boys all call me with their good news, engagements, promotions, awards, etc. They call me for help with recipes or household questions, or just to talk. 

It is my firm belief that the more time a family spends together, especially in spiritual pursuits, the closer the family will be no matter what. The fruits of the spirit are love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness and temperance. We have most of those in spades!

 

Insight from a Christmas Book

Yesterday in Relief Society, the President shared a favorite Christmas story called A Christmas Dress for Ellen. After she read it to us she shared her testimony and then opened the time up to the sisters in the room. As we sat there for a few moments in contemplative silence a thought flashed through my mind.

The mother in the story wrote a letter and asked her family so humbly for a few things to work with to make the lives of her children better. She didn’t ask for great riches, but old items she could use to work with to accomplish the needed tasks. Her loving family responded with ten crates of riches, new and beautiful. The thought I had was that Heavenly Father is like that. When we pray and humbly ask for something he responds with riches we didn’t imagine. His plan is always better than ours; his goodness exceeds our expectations. He loves us more than we can understand. 

After General Conference

It's been a week now since General Conference. The glow and delicious peace is beginning to fade as the realities of life continue.

I'm attempting to make this year different by studying each talk and writing quotes in a journal dedicated to recording the answers to my conference questions.

My thinking is that by writing down the answers I'll see what actions I need to take to change. For the better, I mean!

The first talk I studied was President Henry B. Eyring's Saturday morning address. I felt so grateful (and got real teary) that I am not alone in my feelings of loss of joy. His counsel was timely and welcome.

"Where and when we feel the closeness of the Savior depend on each of us."

"All us of have had our faith tested by . . . selfish interests that reduced our efforts to cultivate and soften the spiritual depths of our hearts."

". . . make the choices that will create in your heart a more fertile ground for the good word of God to grow and be fruitful."

 ". . . pray with full purpose of heart . . ."

I next chose Elder Steven E. Snow, of the Seventy, whose talk is titled Be Thou Humble.

"Humility is essential to gain the blessings of the gospel."

Towards the end of his address he quotes President Spencer W. Kimball (1895-1985, President 1973-1985).

"How does one get humble? To me, one must constantly be reminded of his dependence. On whom dependent? On the Lord. How remind one's self? By real, constant, worshipful, grateful prayer."

I want to improve! I want to feel joy. I know change is not easy, but I can't reach my goals without it. Following the counsel from leaders gives me a good place to begin.

 

 

Away in a Manger

Advent - Day 21

And it came to pass, as the angels were gone away from them into heaven, the shepherds said one to another, Let us now go even unto Bethlehem, and see this thing which is come to pass, which the Lord hath made known unto us. And they came with haste, and found Mary, and Joseph, and the babe lying in a manger.                                               Luke 2:15,16

She Brought Light

by Muriel Robinson

     It has been many years since my husband, Ken, was released from the Air Force and we moved to Provo, Utah, so he could attend Brigham Young University. Prior to our move, Ken had traveled to Provo, purchased a mobile home, arranged to have it set up on a lot, and the utilities turned on when we moved in.

     We arrived in Provo on a cold December night. All our belongings were packed in the back of a rental truck. Our nerves were on edge from the tiring trip. Six months pregnant, I was feeling the effects of cleaning, packing, and traveling; our 15-month-old daughter, Shawna, was tired and crying.

    A blast of cold air greeted us as we opened the door to our home. The electricity and water had been turned on, but for some reason the natural gas had not. Too exhausted to do anything else, we put a mattress on the floor with an electric blanket to keep us warm and tried to sleep with our daughter between us. She ended up crying most of the night, so when morning came we were almost as tired as when we had gone to bed.

     After we unloaded the truck, Ken left to return it, check with the gas company, and arrange for a phone to be installed. I dressed Shawna in her snowsuit and placed her in her high chair with a few toys while I started to unpack the boxes.

     When I unpacked our electric frying pan, I decided to heat water in it to wash out the cupboards. As I turned on the faucet of the kitchen sink, the faucet came off and water shot up into the air. I tried to turn off the water valve under the sink but could not get it to turn. Frantically, I searched for the water shutoff valve for the house. By the time I found it, the kitchen and living room were flooded.

     As I desperately started moving boxes out of the water, Shawna sensed my panic and began to scream. Carrying her with one arm, I continued to try to lift boxes with the other. It was then that I started into premature labor. Now I was truly panicked. I didn't know anyone in the neighborhood, and I didn't even have a phone to call for help. Desperately I prayed, "Heavenly Father, please help me!"

     I'll never forget answering a knock that soon came at the door. The woman standing there was shivering, with soap suds up to her elbows. She introduced herself as Amalia Van Tassel, the branch Relief Society president; and told me the Spirit had sent her.

     I would later learn that Amalia had been standing at her sink washing dishes when she felt prompted to check on the new family who had just moved in. Sensing an urgency, she called to her oldest daughter to watch her other children, and without even stopping to dry her hands or grab her coat, ran to my door.

     Amalia made me lie down, comforted Shawna, cleaned up all she could, and invited our family to dinner. She brought light, safety, and comfort into that dark December day. Rest stopped my premature labor, Ken returned with the gas man, and fixed the sink, and portable electric heaters dried the soaked carpet.

     I have always been grateful to Heavenly Father for answering my prayer that day and for the loving sister who quickly followed the promptings of the Holy Spirit. 

Prayers of Gratitude

Right around Thanksgiving I read a blog (sorry I don't remember where or which one) with a comment from a reader who said that his family was offering prayers of expressions of gratitude only for the week of Thanksgiving; and what a difference it made in both their prayers and their family. We have occasionally had family prayers of gratitude, where we kneel together and beginning at the oldest express gratitude for whatever we are thankful for, then the next oldest, and so on, until the youngest finishes the prayer. It does bring a special spirit into our home when we do that. But now I wanted to experiment with all my prayers consisting of only thanksgiving or gratitude.

For the past two weeks I've been doing this and can say that it has changed my prayers completely. First, I have to think harder about all that I'm grateful for; second, I have to pause to let the spirit assist me in remembering things; third, I have become more aware of how pervasive the Lord is in my life and feel His love so strongly; and fourth, I have learned to be creative about thanking Him for future blessings, sort of gratitude in advance. I have felt closer to my Heavenly Father through this experiment and want to continue. The other thing I've noticed is that I feel more able to humbly ask for something that I truly need when I know I have expressed gratitude for all that I've already been given.

My prayers are less vain repetition and more heartfelt these days. I recommend giving it a try in your life.

UPDATE: I re-found the blog on gratitude prayers and want to share it for future readers.

Mishamarries!

That is what our children called the missionaries and it has stuck. Our little branch just got a pair of missionaries after not having any for a long while. We had them over for dinner tonight.

When they introduced themselves at church and bore their testimonies the one announced that he is one of the first of the eighteen year olds. Tonight we heard the rest of the story. His family had moved from Twin Falls, Idaho to Helena, Montana last summer just before his senior year of high school. He could have stayed in Twin Falls with extended family to finish out high school, but when he prayed about it he was impressed to move with his family to Helena. There he found he could graduate mid-year and then be free to go back to Idaho to school before serving a mission. He was surprised by the announcement of the age change last October at General Conference, prayed about it and decided to graduate mid-year as planned and then immediately go on a mission.  WOW! He really is young.

What a blessing to our sons, age 16 and 14, to have him as an example and friend. We enjoyed visiting with him at dinner and found him to be articulate, personable, and valiant. Pretty impressive.

Use Words

Prayer

Talk given 15 January 2012

Atlantic Branch, Iowa

When our missionary son was a toddler he used the point and grunt method of communication. I encouraged him to use words and helped him learn the words he wanted to use. One particularly tiring day when I said “PW, use words,” the spirit said to me “This is why I want you to pray. I know what you need before you even ask; but I want you to use words to ask me.” (Matthew 6:8)

I gained a great insight into the why of prayer that day. In fact being a parent has helped me understand that Heavenly Father sends us to earth into families and commands us to have children ourselves so we can learn about him and learn to be like him.

We had many tender, and sometimes humorous, experiences as we taught our children to pray. Missionaries have similar experiences teaching their contacts how to pray. I have had solemn and sacred experiences while being taught to pray in the temples.

Every week the Young Women stand and repeat the words “We are daughters of our Heavenly Father, who loves us,” We should understand who we are praying to. Our Father in Heaven, the Father of our Spirits, God the Eternal Father. From Moses (6:57) we learn that “Man of Holiness is his name,” He is infinite, eternal, and real.  Joseph Smith taught us that “The Father has a body of flesh and bones as tangible as man’s;” (D&C 130:22). It is to him that we address our prayers. We begin a prayer by saying something like Our Father in Heaven or Heavenly Father.

I find it helps to picture in my mind the person I’m addressing. I think of him as wise, loving, inviting, warm, caring, ready to listen to me, undistracted by anything else. Without being irreverent I think of him as my Dad, knowing me intimately, better than I know myself, because he has known me longer.

After addressing him reverently, we begin to express gratitude for our blessings. We thank thee for, we are grateful for, naming some of the most important things pertaining to the group or situation we are in. Naming specific blessings focuses our minds on the many things our Father does for us and gives us each day. Many things we take for granted are actually wonderful miracles: electric lights, hot and cold running water, telephones and computers; washers and dryers; homes, cars, fresh food, health and life itself.

After expressing sufficient gratitude we may ask for specific blessings using phrases such as we ask thee, wilt thou bless us with, please bless this or that, as needed.

It was when I was a missionary that I realized the importance of asking for specifics rather than generalities. Joseph Smith asked specific questions, never receiving a revelation except in answer to a question. Think of a child—does he ask for a toy? Or for a specific one? There are instances when generalities are appropriate, and others when specifics are called for.

We end our prayers in the way the Savior taught. To the Nephites he said “And whatsoever ye shall ask the Father in my name, which is right, believing that ye shall receive, behold it shall be given unto you.”  (3 Ne. 18:20)

After the Savior departed from the Nephites, his twelve apostles continued to teach the people that they “should pray unto the Father in the name of Jesus.” (3 Ne. 19:6) So we end our prayer using language such as In the name of Jesus Christ, or In the name of thy son Jesus Christ.

We address our prayers to God the Father, and end them in the name of His son Jesus Christ, because as the Apostle John taught “we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ, the righteous.” (1 John 2:1)

The four steps of prayer are simple and straightforward.

We address our Father in Heaven, we thank him for all he has given us, we ask him for specific blessings, we conclude in the name of Jesus Christ.

We use special pronouns in prayer, thee, thy, thine, thou. Often these are referred to as formal language. I know only two languages, English and some Spanish, so I can’t speak authoritatively for any other languages, but in Spanish the equivalents to thee, thy, thou, and thine are not the formal pronouns one would use with a superior or someone with whom you are not familiar, but they are the intimate pronouns one would use with close family or friends. This fits with the feeling we should have of reverence and closeness to our Father in Heaven. He is not far away, impersonal and cold. I picture him sitting on my bed, me kneeling at his feet, telling him about my day, pouring out my heart in gratitude for the tender mercies he has given me, pleading for some special need I have. He is very near and I use intimate language with him.

It doesn’t take very long to be able to correctly use the special pronouns in prayer. It does take practice. Reading the scriptures and listening carefully to prayers will help you become familiar with this special language.

Jesus’ teachings to his followers recorded as the Sermon on the Mount include important instructions about prayer. One thing he said was to “use not vain repetitions.” What does this mean?

I will share a personal example from a recent experience. I was asked to give the opening prayer at my sister’s funeral. I thought long and hard about what to say. I didn’t want to say “We’re so thankful to be here and bless those who aren’t here this time that they may be here next time.”  I pondered all that we in the family were feeling and got up to pray still not exactly sure what to say. The Lord taught Joseph Smith “treasure up in your minds continually the words of life, and it shall be given you in the very hour, yea in the very moment, what ye shall say.” (D&C 84:85 & 100:6). As I began the prayer the words came and the spirit of comfort and healing was very strong.

When called on to be voice for a group prayer think about who is in the group, the circumstances of the meeting, the needs of those in attendance, the blessings the group has received; then let the spirit guide you in what to say.

Prayer is not something to hurry up and get over with so we can get on to better things. It is direct communication with our Father in Heaven. We can speak slowly and thoughtfully. Enos prayed all night long! He didn’t hurry through a memorized prayer so he could get on with hunting. That was probably a once in a lifetime prayer, but I still think it is instructive that when we begin a meeting or class, or when we have family or personal prayer we don’t need to hurry through it.

For you young people who are in charge of classes or quorums, remember that prayer is not a punishment to inflict on others, but rather a privilege to be voice for a group of saints calling upon our Father.

We can liken prayer to a phone call. Do we call our family or friend, race through a checklist of items and then hang up? No. We tell and listen, ask and listen. We whine, exclaim, complain, explain, question, recommend, converse, laugh, and listen.

Granted prayer isn’t exactly like a phone call, but as we mature in prayer we can have more of the two way communication as we listen for the promptings and impressions that come to our mind as we pray patiently and allow time for answers.

We are commanded (at least a dozen times in the Doctrine and Covenants alone) to pray always and we are commanded to pray over everything. Amulek said to the people he was teaching

 “Therefore may God grant unto you, my brethren, that ye may begin to exercise your faith unto repentance, that ye begin to call upon his holy name, that he would have mercy upon you; Yea, cry unto him for mercy for he is mighty to save. Yea, humble yourselves, and continue in prayer unto him. Cry unto him when ye are in your fields, yea, over all your flocks. (In other words, when you are at work.) Cry unto him in your houses, yea, over all your household, both morning, mid-day, and evening.

President Spencer W. Kimball said: “When should we pray? The answer: pray always. But to be more specific, the Church urges that there be family prayer every night and every morning. It is a kneeling prayer with all or as many members of the family present as possible. Many have found the most effective time is at the breakfast and at the dinner table. Then it is least difficult to get the family members together. These prayers need not be long, especially if little children are on their knees. All of the members of the family, including the little ones, should have opportunity to be mouth in the prayer, in turn.” (New Era, March 1978)

Back to Amulek:

“Yea, cry unto him against the power of your enemies. Yea, cry unto him against the devil, who is an enemy to all righteousness. Cry unto him over the crops of your fields, that ye may prosper in them. Cry over the flocks of your fields that they may increase. (What we do for a living again.)

But this is not all; ye must pour out your souls in your closets, and your secret places, and in your wilderness. Yea, and when you do not cry unto the Lord, let your hearts be full, drawn out in prayer unto him continually for your welfare, and also for the welfare of those who are around you.” (Alma 34:17-27)

I like Tevye, the father in Fiddler on the Roof. He has a habit of looking up and talking to God, almost as if he were the next door neighbor. He talked to God about everything!  We should too. Parents can model for children the right kind of relationship with our Father in Heaven. If we are concerned about our children how much more is He concerned about them and us? We all, are first and last His children; He cares about us and wants us to return home to Him.

Sometimes it is wonderful to pray a prayer of gratitude only, without asking for anything else. We have learned in our family that this is useful for remembering how much we already have, and how much God loves us. We have knelt in a circle and beginning with the oldest have each prayed in turn expressing only gratitude with the youngest ending the prayer. Those have been sacred occasions, long remembered.

Sometimes we say prayers that are simply pleadings for help. I can testify that our Father in Heaven is interested in even the most mundane things in our lives. Once while making a shirt I couldn’t get the collar to go on straight. After ruining several I was ready to give up in frustration. The thought came into my mind to pray about it. I did. I asked for help in seeing what I was doing wrong and to have my hands guided in doing it right. After finishing the prayer I cut out a new collar and proceeded to sew it onto the shirt. My hands were guided and it was perfect.

He cares! He has helped me remember things, find things, and face fears. He has blessed me with strength to endure trials, press forward when hurt, and overcome offenses.

In all our praying, all our communing with God we must remember to submit to His will.  Jesus modeled for us a life of bending to His Father’s will.

He taught us by example “Thy will be done.” (Matthew 6:10) “I seek not mine own will, but the will of the Father which hath sent me.” (John 5:30) “For I came down from heaven, not to do mine own will, but the will of him that sent me.” (John 6:38) “Nevertheless, not as I will, but as thou wilt.” (Matthew 26:39)

At times it will seem as if our prayers are not being answered; or perhaps answered differently than we want. A no answer might be in our best interest. A “not now, or not yet” answer could be the right answer. We must be patient, not always easy or fun—ask any child if waiting is. But we must trust our Heavenly Parent that He knows best because he not only knows the end from the beginning, but he knows us better than we know ourselves and He has plan for us.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:8-9)

By asking for God’s will to be done we acknowledge our dependence on Him and His superior knowledge of what is best for us. I have learned that His plan is always better than mine.

What a blessing it is to have a way to communicate with our Father in Heaven.

I testify that he is real; that he hears and answers our prayers. He loves us, with a love greater than we can comprehend. And has shown his love by sending his beloved son, Jesus Christ to earth to live and die for us that we can repent and follow the Savior back home to Him, Our Eternal Heavenly Father.

I testify that we are led by a living Prophet, who has asked us to pray that the countries of the world where the gospel is not now present will open their doors to the missionaries that the Kingdom of God can go forth and fill the entire world.

I testify that Joseph Smith was the prophet of the Restoration who opened this dispensation by offering a prayer to know which church to join.

I know this is the true church of Jesus Christ. I’m so thankful to be a part of it.

In the name of our Savior and Redeemer, Jesus Christ, Amen.

As Promised . . . But a little Rambling

I carry a little spiral notebook in my church bag with a special pen.  I use the notebook to record things I hear in talks, thoughts that come to me, ideas for Family Home Evening lessons, or talks, scriptures I want to mark when I get home, even mute conversations with my husband, notes to myself about something I want to remember, etc.  It is a very useful little tool.  When I get home from church I look it over and transfer anything I need to into my planner or calendar or whatever.  Most of the notes just stay there waiting to be read again during quiet moments in church.  From time to time I'll share something from that little notebook.


One Sunday as we sang the Sacrament Hymn a line entered my heart with great power. "In the solemn faith of prayer, cast upon me all thy care." (Hymn #185 Reverently and Meekly Now)


I've always known that faith is an action word, but suddenly it made sense to me, that prayer is an ACT of faith and that we must do as James, the Apostle directs to ". . . ask in faith, nothing wavering." I struggle with having meaningful prayers daily. So often it seems like I'm just going through the motions and saying words instead of expressing heartfelt gratitude and desires. When I pray silently I am so easily distracted; it's much easier for me to pray out loud, but that requires privacy and time, two commodities in short supply.


I love my Father in Heaven and many days I wish I could just sit at his feet and talk to him and hear his immediate answers and counsel or some affirmation of his great love for me and the fact that he's pleased with this or that about me. But that's not going to happen very soon, I hope, anyway by then my mortal life will be over and it won't matter any more.  In the meantime, I'll read the scriptures to hear his voice to me.


We were reading in 1 Peter chapter one this afternoon and verse 17 spoke to me ". . . the Father, who without respect of persons, judgeth according to every man's work. . ." (Saved by grace, judged by works)


I also wrote in my notebook "We do to become." In other words the things we do lead to who we become. Something to think about as I'm making choices each day. I'd better make sure my work is the right thing to be doing, as I going to be judged for it.