No matter how many times we watch "Mr. Kruger's Christmas" we get teary-eyed at the scene in the grotto/stable. TopDad looked at me and I looked at him and he made that comment.
Random thoughts:
Life proceeds at a pace that I can hardly keep up with. Wasn't it just September yesterday? We finished our family reading of the Book of Mormon today. Next on the schedule is the Doctrine and Covenants. Big decisions coming up in JET's life. Dandylion is now taller than me, Dr. Hair towers over me, I turn 55 soon, so does that mean I'll be a little old lady?
We had a huge blizzard last week, about a foot of snow accumulated. I'm so grateful for all the modern conveniences we have. At the same time I'm grateful for a pioneering spirit which makes life easier when those modern conveniences fail.
Merry Christmas! And may the New Year be happy, or rather may we choose to be happy in the New Year!
24 December 2012
04 October 2012
Stop the World So I Can Catch Up
I have to take a break from computers so I can get the rest of the work done on our new (to us) house and move in before the snow flies. Check back in November. Thanks for reading.
29 September 2012
Whisperings of the Spirit and the Nineteen Year Training Program
Once upon a time, a long time ago, there was a frazzled mother of young children who was done in by the endless needs of her children and household. In her mind she thought "I wish my children would quit interrupting my work." And into her heart came the still small voice saying "Your children ARE your work," which changed the heart of the mother of young children by helping her to remember that she had chosen this work in the beginning.
I think it was about that time my husband and I were inspired with the idea of a "nineteen year training program." In other words, we had about nineteen years to teach and train our children to become self-sufficient (enough) adults to leave home.
Training has included dress and grooming, chores, finances, spirituality, morality, talents, service, work, education and culture. Whenever our patience is wearing thin we remind each other that thisoffending party child has not yet completed the training program so we should forgive and be more patient.
We have three adult children now, all living more or less successfully away from home. Two are faithful to the gospel, one struggles with worldliness. We love all of them. They are self-sufficient, loving, good natured, intelligent, serving, caring individuals. We have good relationships with all three. It is great to see the products of our "nineteen year training program."
Through the years I've had many "whisperings of the spirit" come into my heart to guide me and comfort me in my chosen profession. I once wrote in my journal that I hope that worth is calculated differently in heaven and that those who choose to be stay at home moms will be honored beyond all the other mothers who chose worldly honors and achievements. I'm mostly anonymous, no one other than my children asks for my advice and counsel, no one interviews me about my achievements or aspirations, and hardly anybody, outside of my family and closest friends will know or care when I die. Over the years, though, I've learned that it doesn't matter, because I matter to the one who matters most to me. My Savior and my Heavenly Father. If I can please them, and live up to their expectations and trust of me, then my life will have been worth living.
I often tell my children, I'm teaching you this (whatever gospel principle I'm teaching at the moment) so you can never use the excuse, "My mom never taught me." You will be free to choose the way you want to live once you leave our home, but you will never be able to say "My mom never taught me ______." I have done my best to teach you because I don't want to have to stand before the judgement bar and feel ashamed that I didn't do my very best to teach you the gospel and how to return to our Father in Heaven.
I think it was about that time my husband and I were inspired with the idea of a "nineteen year training program." In other words, we had about nineteen years to teach and train our children to become self-sufficient (enough) adults to leave home.
Training has included dress and grooming, chores, finances, spirituality, morality, talents, service, work, education and culture. Whenever our patience is wearing thin we remind each other that this
We have three adult children now, all living more or less successfully away from home. Two are faithful to the gospel, one struggles with worldliness. We love all of them. They are self-sufficient, loving, good natured, intelligent, serving, caring individuals. We have good relationships with all three. It is great to see the products of our "nineteen year training program."
Through the years I've had many "whisperings of the spirit" come into my heart to guide me and comfort me in my chosen profession. I once wrote in my journal that I hope that worth is calculated differently in heaven and that those who choose to be stay at home moms will be honored beyond all the other mothers who chose worldly honors and achievements. I'm mostly anonymous, no one other than my children asks for my advice and counsel, no one interviews me about my achievements or aspirations, and hardly anybody, outside of my family and closest friends will know or care when I die. Over the years, though, I've learned that it doesn't matter, because I matter to the one who matters most to me. My Savior and my Heavenly Father. If I can please them, and live up to their expectations and trust of me, then my life will have been worth living.
I often tell my children, I'm teaching you this (whatever gospel principle I'm teaching at the moment) so you can never use the excuse, "My mom never taught me." You will be free to choose the way you want to live once you leave our home, but you will never be able to say "My mom never taught me ______." I have done my best to teach you because I don't want to have to stand before the judgement bar and feel ashamed that I didn't do my very best to teach you the gospel and how to return to our Father in Heaven.
So many struggle with the decision of whether to have a career or family. For what it's worth I'll give some counsel, the same I give my own children, especially my daughter.
This mortal life is short, in eternal time, and we only get one shot at it, there aren't any do overs. So when making a decision of any importance look at what is eternally valuable or important.
How can any worldly career compare with the bringing of spirits to this earth for their turn to experience mortality. Being a mother earlier rather than later is better because having babies is a young people's sport. Just ask any forty year old mother of an infant. But later is better than not at all. After all I didn't get married until I was thirty, so I missed out on about ten years of child bearing. I just never wanted to live with regrets for not starting right away in our marriage to begin our family.
The full rewards of parenting are few and far between and sometimes long in coming, sometimes taking as long as nineteen or twenty years! But I have found them sweeter and more valuable than any earthly plaudits because of their eternal significance.
May you find joy in your journey through mortality and the great responsibility of parenthood.
Guest Post at We Talk of Christ
Jocelyn is hosting the Proclamation Celebration over at We Talk of Christ where I'm the guest poster today. Hop on over and see what's on offer; there have been so many great posts about The Family: A Proclamation to the World.
28 September 2012
And speaking of memories. . .
Presenting the Audubon, Iowa High School Marching Band
As usual I'm on the wrong side to get good shots of Dr. Hair, trumpet, and Dandylion, bass drum, but trust me, they're in there!
I love small town parades!!
P.S. This was the first time I've uploaded a video to YouTube and it asked me if I wanted them to fix the shakiness of it; sure, go ahead. Wrong, it makes it look distorted and weird. Live and learn. Sorry.
Make More Happy Memories
That's the advice my older sister D gave me when I asked her what she'd do differently raising her family of seven children. Make more happy memories.
As I read Annette's post over on Chocolate on My Cranium I thought of a few of my happiest memories and wondered if my children remember too.
Boys, do you remember playing beauty parlor and putting make-up on Mom and barrettes in her hair? I wish I had pictures! The attention and pampering was better than any $100 an hour spa.
Chuns, do you remember suppers of muffins and popcorn watching Disney videos? And Saturday homemade pizza nights?
Do you remember the trip to the Hill Cumorah Pageant and swimming in the hotel pool? What about Camp Joseph in Sharon, Vermont? Remember the Milky Way! And hiking the mountain?
Boys, do you remember reading our way through the Ralph Moody, Little Britches series?
Noble, do you remember the fashion shows, and Halloween costumes, especially the purple hair?
Do you all remember the Symphony concerts in the Provo Tabernacle? I cried when I heard that it burned down, and I cried again when I heard it would be rebuilt as a temple!
Remember playing on the GIANT in the park in Washington DC?
Remember our first Family Pajama Game Night?
I'm really thankful for an older sister who I call The Pioneer for going before me and blazing the trail. Because of her I learned early to savor moments, make happy memories and enjoy each stage of raising children. We homeschooled our children for fourteen years so I spent A LOT of time with them. And I've found that to be one of our biggest blessing because as they mature they become our best friends. Our adult children still call regularly to "plug in" to the Mom and tell me all their joys and sorrows.
Families are Forever! I can't think of a more important concept to guide us through our journey of mortality. Spend time with your chuns, make more happy memories, never stop teaching them the gospel and showing them the Savior's love through your love.
As I read Annette's post over on Chocolate on My Cranium I thought of a few of my happiest memories and wondered if my children remember too.
Boys, do you remember playing beauty parlor and putting make-up on Mom and barrettes in her hair? I wish I had pictures! The attention and pampering was better than any $100 an hour spa.
Chuns, do you remember suppers of muffins and popcorn watching Disney videos? And Saturday homemade pizza nights?
Do you remember the trip to the Hill Cumorah Pageant and swimming in the hotel pool? What about Camp Joseph in Sharon, Vermont? Remember the Milky Way! And hiking the mountain?
Boys, do you remember reading our way through the Ralph Moody, Little Britches series?
Noble, do you remember the fashion shows, and Halloween costumes, especially the purple hair?
Do you all remember the Symphony concerts in the Provo Tabernacle? I cried when I heard that it burned down, and I cried again when I heard it would be rebuilt as a temple!
Remember playing on the GIANT in the park in Washington DC?
Remember our first Family Pajama Game Night?
I'm really thankful for an older sister who I call The Pioneer for going before me and blazing the trail. Because of her I learned early to savor moments, make happy memories and enjoy each stage of raising children. We homeschooled our children for fourteen years so I spent A LOT of time with them. And I've found that to be one of our biggest blessing because as they mature they become our best friends. Our adult children still call regularly to "plug in" to the Mom and tell me all their joys and sorrows.
Families are Forever! I can't think of a more important concept to guide us through our journey of mortality. Spend time with your chuns, make more happy memories, never stop teaching them the gospel and showing them the Savior's love through your love.
25 September 2012
Oh, The Goodness of Ordinary People
Today I saw this video and cried tears of joy for the goodness of ordinary people. It gives me renewed hope that our country will survive.
The best counsel from this is the man who says he wants to live his life so he won't have to say "I should have."
". . . when ye are in the service of your fellow beings, ye are only in the service of your God."
The best counsel from this is the man who says he wants to live his life so he won't have to say "I should have."
". . . when ye are in the service of your fellow beings, ye are only in the service of your God."
24 September 2012
Sixteen Years? How Can That Be?
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| Dr. Hair - The Birthday Boy |
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| He got a pile of books . . . |
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| . . . and his very own tools. |
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| Look at all that loot. |
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| Guess who the shrimp of the family is? |
19 September 2012
What I've Done During 20 Years of FHE
A dozen years ago we moved into a new ward and I was called to serve on the Relief Society Enrichment Committee. I attended the first meeting (held in my home so I could put my children to bed and attend the meeting) and found out that one of my duties was publicity for the activities--I was supposed to make posters and flyers advertising our activities. I think I said something like "Well, I'll do my best, I'm not very artistic." The committee laughed and expressed their faith in me. As the days went by I was astonished to be the recipient of ideas flooding my mind. I know they came from the Lord because I had very little artistic ability or flair for crafting. The posters and flyers were wonderful and I got many compliments, but I gave credit where it was due, the Lord inspired me and I just put it together.
I've never identified with the remarks about FHE being the only arguments that begin and end with prayer. We didn't experience that in our home. Yes there were times when the Spirit fled and we had to work hard to get it back, but I don't recall (correct me if I'm wrong, chuns) ending an evening without the Spirit. The most important aspect of FHE is that it be consistently held, regularly, ongoingly, despite difficulties. As Winston Churchill said "Never, never, never, never give up." And as Elder Bednar said
First I like to choose a theme for the year. The youth have a Mutual theme for the year and I figured that having a theme would give us a focus and a way to structure our lesson planning. We've used the Articles of Faith, the Primary annual theme, My Gospel Standards, the Scout Law, Standing for Something by President Hinckley, Commandments, and Modern Prophets; as well there have been years when we just chose lessons randomly because I didn't come up with a good theme.
I put together a chart so we could rotate assignments. This didn't work exactly like I wanted, because few bothered to check their assignments, but I kept it up so that we'd be reminded to be responsible.
One of the things we wanted our children to learn in FHE was how to conduct a meeting in a dignified manner, and all that went into being prepared to conduct. I made a "conducting sheet" and the person in charge was supposed to fill it out for their week. I had to help lots, but they eventually got the idea. I kept these sheets in a three ring binder divided by month.
Another thing I did was to put up signs all over the house on Monday to remind everyone to attend.
We bought an oak two drawer file specifically to house all our FHE materials. For years we used this as an end table in our living room, where we conducted our FHE's. Now it is used as a pedestal for our computer desk, still accessible to our living room. In the top drawer are the hanging files of church art work, supplies, and topic folders; in the bottom drawer is everything that won't fit in the top, too big, bulky or whatever.
It is only the last two years that we haven't had a piano (which is a sob story for another time) but until two years ago I played the music for our FHE's and I've always said that I play just good enough for that and nothing else. My family is very forgiving of my poor playing, for which I'm grateful. Anyway, we now use the Hymns on CD which makes us sound much better. I truly believe that music is one of the best invitations to the Spirit and we can't go wrong using it, no matter how poor we think we sound. After the Lord said "A song of the heart is a prayer unto me" not a song of the voice!
Those are some of the mechanics, the physical elements to our FHE; now I'd like to share a spiritual element.
For many years we homeschooled our children so I knew what they were doing and what they were learning and could observe their personal interactions daily. I watched and tailored our lessons to what their needs were (we had lots of lessons about manners and kindness!). Now that we only have two at home and they are both at public school I have to use more power of discernment to understand what they need, but it's just a matter of being prayerful and listening to the Spirit. What I find to be just amazing is how well what is in the church magazines fits with what our family needs. And really, no matter what our theme has been over the years I've found great stories, crafts, talks, and articles in The Friend, The New Era and the Ensign every month. These are resources no home should be without.
My testimony of FHE has deepened over time, and while we aren't perfect (is anybody?) the effort to be consistent has paid dividends through the years as blessings multiply and our family has strong bonds of love forged link by link in each Family Home Evening we held.
Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations. The Family: A Proclamation to the WorldIn our callings as Father and Mother we are entitled to inspiration regarding our stewardship of home and family including Family Home Evening. Before you look online for someone else's inspiration, listen to the still small voice and learn to recognize the ideas flooding your mind because they will be tailor made for your circumstances and come at just the right time.
I've never identified with the remarks about FHE being the only arguments that begin and end with prayer. We didn't experience that in our home. Yes there were times when the Spirit fled and we had to work hard to get it back, but I don't recall (correct me if I'm wrong, chuns) ending an evening without the Spirit. The most important aspect of FHE is that it be consistently held, regularly, ongoingly, despite difficulties. As Winston Churchill said "Never, never, never, never give up." And as Elder Bednar said
So here are some of the practices we have used over the years to make FHE part of our lives.
Today if you could ask our adult sons what they remember about family prayer, scripture study, and family home evening, I believe I know how they would answer. They likely would not identify a particular prayer or a specific instance of scripture study or an especially meaningful family home evening lesson as the defining moment in their spiritual development. What they would say they remember is that as a family we were consistent.Sister Bednar and I thought helping our sons understand the content of a particular lesson or a specific scripture was the ultimate outcome. But such a result does not occur each time we study or pray or learn together. The consistency of our intent and work was perhaps the greatest lesson—a lesson we did not fully appreciate at the time.
First I like to choose a theme for the year. The youth have a Mutual theme for the year and I figured that having a theme would give us a focus and a way to structure our lesson planning. We've used the Articles of Faith, the Primary annual theme, My Gospel Standards, the Scout Law, Standing for Something by President Hinckley, Commandments, and Modern Prophets; as well there have been years when we just chose lessons randomly because I didn't come up with a good theme.
I put together a chart so we could rotate assignments. This didn't work exactly like I wanted, because few bothered to check their assignments, but I kept it up so that we'd be reminded to be responsible.
One of the things we wanted our children to learn in FHE was how to conduct a meeting in a dignified manner, and all that went into being prepared to conduct. I made a "conducting sheet" and the person in charge was supposed to fill it out for their week. I had to help lots, but they eventually got the idea. I kept these sheets in a three ring binder divided by month.
Another thing I did was to put up signs all over the house on Monday to remind everyone to attend.
We bought an oak two drawer file specifically to house all our FHE materials. For years we used this as an end table in our living room, where we conducted our FHE's. Now it is used as a pedestal for our computer desk, still accessible to our living room. In the top drawer are the hanging files of church art work, supplies, and topic folders; in the bottom drawer is everything that won't fit in the top, too big, bulky or whatever.
It is only the last two years that we haven't had a piano (which is a sob story for another time) but until two years ago I played the music for our FHE's and I've always said that I play just good enough for that and nothing else. My family is very forgiving of my poor playing, for which I'm grateful. Anyway, we now use the Hymns on CD which makes us sound much better. I truly believe that music is one of the best invitations to the Spirit and we can't go wrong using it, no matter how poor we think we sound. After the Lord said "A song of the heart is a prayer unto me" not a song of the voice!
Those are some of the mechanics, the physical elements to our FHE; now I'd like to share a spiritual element.
For many years we homeschooled our children so I knew what they were doing and what they were learning and could observe their personal interactions daily. I watched and tailored our lessons to what their needs were (we had lots of lessons about manners and kindness!). Now that we only have two at home and they are both at public school I have to use more power of discernment to understand what they need, but it's just a matter of being prayerful and listening to the Spirit. What I find to be just amazing is how well what is in the church magazines fits with what our family needs. And really, no matter what our theme has been over the years I've found great stories, crafts, talks, and articles in The Friend, The New Era and the Ensign every month. These are resources no home should be without.
My testimony of FHE has deepened over time, and while we aren't perfect (is anybody?) the effort to be consistent has paid dividends through the years as blessings multiply and our family has strong bonds of love forged link by link in each Family Home Evening we held.
17 September 2012
A Family Celebration
Welcome to the Family Proclamation Celebration! I'm delighted to be a part of it this year.
I grew up in a wonderful family and wanted nothing more than to marry, have children and establish my own family. I eventually reached that goal but it was a long time coming.
With our own five children I've "indoctrinated" them since they were little, teaching them that one of the purposes of life is to marry and have children because that is what Heavenly Father sent us here to do. Our children are just now reaching the point in life where marriage is a possibility so we're trying to patiently wait for the second stage of parenting, Grandparenting!
The Family: A Proclamation to the World is extremely special to me because of the circumstances of it's presentation. The story of what happened will be a guest post at Jocelyn's blog this month.
Thanks for stopping by. I'll be posting some pictures and further thoughts as part of the celebration. Check back often.
I grew up in a wonderful family and wanted nothing more than to marry, have children and establish my own family. I eventually reached that goal but it was a long time coming.
With our own five children I've "indoctrinated" them since they were little, teaching them that one of the purposes of life is to marry and have children because that is what Heavenly Father sent us here to do. Our children are just now reaching the point in life where marriage is a possibility so we're trying to patiently wait for the second stage of parenting, Grandparenting!
The Family: A Proclamation to the World is extremely special to me because of the circumstances of it's presentation. The story of what happened will be a guest post at Jocelyn's blog this month.
Thanks for stopping by. I'll be posting some pictures and further thoughts as part of the celebration. Check back often.
07 September 2012
How to Help the Spirit Convert Your Spouse
Talk given 13 August 1995, Prince William Word, Centreville, Virginia
At the end of my full-time missionary service I confided to President Curtis that I didn't feel very successful because although I'd had twenty baptisms in the first half of my mission, I hadn't had any in the second half. President Curtis leaned over and said, wisely, "Your success has been in other ways," and reminded me of some of my accomplishments. Then he said "Baptisms are brought about by circumstances only the Lord can create. The missionary who just happens to be in the right place at the right time as part of the plan gets credit."
Today I'd like to share with you some ways to help the Lord create the circumstances necessary for truly spiritual conversions of our spouses, children and friends.
First a word about spouses. I do not advocate dating or marrying a non-member. I firmly believe we should be obedient to the counsel of our prophets and leaders to date and marry within our faith. I also believe in prayer, and in following the promptings of the Spirit. For six months following my 29th birthday, before I met Steven, I prayed fervently that I could get married. Heavenly Father know who would be right for me and He knew where he was. I specifically asked to be led to someone who would love me and whom I could love. Through a series of circumstances, such as my mission president described, Steve and my paths crossed and I received a spiritual witness that he was indeed "the one." Hence my marriage at age thirty to a non-member.
Shortly after we were married, Steven asked me why I had married outside the church if it was so important to me. After much thought I answered that I could teach him the gospel anytime he wanted to learn, but that I couldn't teach him to be loving and patient, to be hard-working and have a sense of humor, to want to be a father, or any of his other good qualities.
I waited for him to ask to be taught the gospel. It didn't happen, and being, by nature, impatient, I decided to experiment a little and see what would happen. Alma describes this experimentation saying:
With each spiritual experience he advanced a little further and his retreat wasn't as far back as the time before, until the time came when he felt more comfortable with spiritual feelings and less comfortable with worldly ones. At that point, I and several others challenged him to make a decision about the direction of his life. Not long after that he came home from work and announced that he wanted to take the missionary lessons and be baptized.
Each situation is unique and the Lord will not force anyone or rob a person of their agency, but basic principles can be applied universally, and then, guided by the Spirit, we can experience the joy of conversion in our families and among our friends.
From the beginning of our relationship Steve knew that I kept the Word of Wisdom, attended meetings, held callings, did visiting teaching, paid tithing, prayed and read the scriptures. I tried to be an example to him and tried to include him in as much as he was willing to be part of. He knew that I had convictions and would not relinquish them.
After we were married I asked his permission to bless the food at each meal. I encouraged and expected him to call on someone to do so. It took some training and explanation but eventually he got the hang of it and sometimes he would surprise me by saying the prayer himself. Those were tender moments.
We received the Ensign magazine and I left it, and pamphlets such as Joseph Smith's Testimony in strategic places like on his nightstand or in the bathroom. We are both "readaholics" so I took advantage of that and made sure he had some appropriate reading material within easy reach.
I tried to treat Steve as if he were a member. I'd tell him about the speakers in Sacrament Meeting, the Sunday School lesson, the Homemaking nights, what I did visiting teaching, etc. I'd answer all his questions, even if I was telling him things he wouldn't understand. That usually led to more questions and sometimes opportunities to bear my testimony.
Having children began another phase of gospel teaching. We had agreed before our marriage that our children would be raised in the church. It was exciting to see Noble participate in her first Primary Sacrament Meeting program. She knew all the songs and had a speaking part. We got teary eyed and felt very proud. About that time I read a book that opened my eyes and heart to the great responsibility entrusted to us as parents. In Raising Up a Family to the Lord, Elder Gene R. Cook quotes Elder A. Theodore Tuttle. It was one of those passages like Joseph Smith describes as "seem[ing] to enter with great force into every feeling of my heart." (JS 2:12) Elder Tuttle said:
From the beginning I prayed that we would be sent to an area where Steven could join the church. In each ward we've lived I've prodded the home teachers to set appointments with Steve because he is the head of our household. As needs arose I asked them to bring specific messages. I encouraged the Elders Quorums to include him in service projects, sports activities and social functions. The ward in Mount Vernon, Washington was an answer to my prayers. The men of the ward took him into their circle and fellowshipped him right into the gospel. Every ward can be the answer to someones prayer if we will obediently follow the promptings of the Spirit.
When we began to homeschool Noble last year (1994) we decide that religious education was just as important in Kindergarten as Seminary is to high school students, so as part of school we read a chapter from the church's scripture readers each day, as well as a story from The Friend. We sing Primary songs and memorize scripture verses and Articles of Faith. It is exciting to see her knowledge and testimony of the gospel blossom and grow. These spirits saved for the last days are precious. This year she has asked me to read chapters from the "real" Book of Mormon. Our goal is to complete it before she is baptized in two years.
Additionally we have used holidays to teach the gospel and the plan of salvation to our children. We limit participation in secularized or commercialized corruptions of sacred days. When JET was just four months old we got our Christmas tree up and the lights on it but that was as far as I went. The demands of a new baby and two preschoolers was a bit much. Shortly before Christmas I sat in the glow of those lights nursing JET wondering what on earth a pine tree with tinsel and lights had to do with the birth of the Savior. I tried to think of a connection but couldn't. Then I set my mind to pondering what would be a more appropriate and useful image to have for our children to learn about the true meaning of the holiday. Into my mind came the idea of having a manger and a baby doll swaddled to represent Jesus. This past Christmas we had just that. Steven build a sturdy manger, I bought a realistic looking newborn baby doll and made a wrapping of unbleached muslin. Our children were free to touch, pick-up, play with and cuddle that baby. What a difference in their attitude about gifts as we talked of birthdays and service. For months afterwards they playacted the birth of Jesus, complete with wise men and shepherds, angels and animals. It was wonderful to listen to them play. At some time we may have another tree but we will keep the tradition of the manger and baby to remind us so vividly of what we are truly celebrating.
I hope you've gotten something from my rather disjointed explanations. Frustration, discouragement and impatience are devils I have wrestled with as I tried to teach my husband the gospel. I'm still wrestling as we try to teach our children. The labor is long and hard, but the fruit is desirable and worth the struggles.
The four most important things to remember in living the gospel and teaching the gospel in our homes are to:
I testify that God lives, prayers are answered and blessings come in ways and when we least expect.
At the end of my full-time missionary service I confided to President Curtis that I didn't feel very successful because although I'd had twenty baptisms in the first half of my mission, I hadn't had any in the second half. President Curtis leaned over and said, wisely, "Your success has been in other ways," and reminded me of some of my accomplishments. Then he said "Baptisms are brought about by circumstances only the Lord can create. The missionary who just happens to be in the right place at the right time as part of the plan gets credit."
Today I'd like to share with you some ways to help the Lord create the circumstances necessary for truly spiritual conversions of our spouses, children and friends.
First a word about spouses. I do not advocate dating or marrying a non-member. I firmly believe we should be obedient to the counsel of our prophets and leaders to date and marry within our faith. I also believe in prayer, and in following the promptings of the Spirit. For six months following my 29th birthday, before I met Steven, I prayed fervently that I could get married. Heavenly Father know who would be right for me and He knew where he was. I specifically asked to be led to someone who would love me and whom I could love. Through a series of circumstances, such as my mission president described, Steve and my paths crossed and I received a spiritual witness that he was indeed "the one." Hence my marriage at age thirty to a non-member.
Shortly after we were married, Steven asked me why I had married outside the church if it was so important to me. After much thought I answered that I could teach him the gospel anytime he wanted to learn, but that I couldn't teach him to be loving and patient, to be hard-working and have a sense of humor, to want to be a father, or any of his other good qualities.
I waited for him to ask to be taught the gospel. It didn't happen, and being, by nature, impatient, I decided to experiment a little and see what would happen. Alma describes this experimentation saying:
Now, we will compare the word unto a seed. Now, if ye give place, that a seed may be planted in your heart, behold, it if be a true seed, or a good seed, if ye do not cast it out by your unbelief, that ye will resist the Spirit of the Lord, behold, it will begin to swell within your breasts, and when ye feel these swelling motions, ye will begin to say within yourselves--It must needs be that this is a good seed, or that the word is good, for it beginneth to enlighten my understanding, yea, it beginneth to be delicious to me. (Alma 32:28)I began to plant seeds and I watched them grow. I have observed that persons investigating the church, especially those with little religious background, and who are inexperienced in spiritual matters, often feel uncomfortable, nervous, or even frightened as they experience these new spiritual feelings, these "swelling motions." Many times the person withdraws and retreats to his comfort zone of worldliness. It can be frustrating. As I began to notice this phenomenon with Steve it took me a while to remember what I had learned as a missionary and relax and be patient.
With each spiritual experience he advanced a little further and his retreat wasn't as far back as the time before, until the time came when he felt more comfortable with spiritual feelings and less comfortable with worldly ones. At that point, I and several others challenged him to make a decision about the direction of his life. Not long after that he came home from work and announced that he wanted to take the missionary lessons and be baptized.
Each situation is unique and the Lord will not force anyone or rob a person of their agency, but basic principles can be applied universally, and then, guided by the Spirit, we can experience the joy of conversion in our families and among our friends.
From the beginning of our relationship Steve knew that I kept the Word of Wisdom, attended meetings, held callings, did visiting teaching, paid tithing, prayed and read the scriptures. I tried to be an example to him and tried to include him in as much as he was willing to be part of. He knew that I had convictions and would not relinquish them.
After we were married I asked his permission to bless the food at each meal. I encouraged and expected him to call on someone to do so. It took some training and explanation but eventually he got the hang of it and sometimes he would surprise me by saying the prayer himself. Those were tender moments.
We received the Ensign magazine and I left it, and pamphlets such as Joseph Smith's Testimony in strategic places like on his nightstand or in the bathroom. We are both "readaholics" so I took advantage of that and made sure he had some appropriate reading material within easy reach.
I tried to treat Steve as if he were a member. I'd tell him about the speakers in Sacrament Meeting, the Sunday School lesson, the Homemaking nights, what I did visiting teaching, etc. I'd answer all his questions, even if I was telling him things he wouldn't understand. That usually led to more questions and sometimes opportunities to bear my testimony.
Having children began another phase of gospel teaching. We had agreed before our marriage that our children would be raised in the church. It was exciting to see Noble participate in her first Primary Sacrament Meeting program. She knew all the songs and had a speaking part. We got teary eyed and felt very proud. About that time I read a book that opened my eyes and heart to the great responsibility entrusted to us as parents. In Raising Up a Family to the Lord, Elder Gene R. Cook quotes Elder A. Theodore Tuttle. It was one of those passages like Joseph Smith describes as "seem[ing] to enter with great force into every feeling of my heart." (JS 2:12) Elder Tuttle said:
The Lord organized the family unit in the beginning. He intended that the home be the center of learning--that the father and mothers be teachers.
I felt duly called to repentance and set about to change things in our home. Again, I asked permission to have family prayer and to hold Family Home Evening. With little ones it is so easy to involve Daddy. After all, I couldn't hold all three children on my lap, I needed help. So I was able to teach principles of the gospel, and scriptures stories not only to our children but to their father. And you have seen the effect of the prayers of children who say "And bless Daddy to want to be baptized so we can go to the temple and be a forever family."How would you pass the test, parents, if your family was isolated from the Church and you had to supply all religious training? Have you become so dependent on others that you do little or nothing at home? Tell me, how much of the gospel would your children know, if all they knew is what they had been taught at home? Ponder that. I repeat, how much of the gospel would your children know if all they knew is what they had been taught at home? Remember, the Church exists to help the home. Parents, the divine charge to teach has never been changed. Do not abdicate your duty.
From the beginning I prayed that we would be sent to an area where Steven could join the church. In each ward we've lived I've prodded the home teachers to set appointments with Steve because he is the head of our household. As needs arose I asked them to bring specific messages. I encouraged the Elders Quorums to include him in service projects, sports activities and social functions. The ward in Mount Vernon, Washington was an answer to my prayers. The men of the ward took him into their circle and fellowshipped him right into the gospel. Every ward can be the answer to someones prayer if we will obediently follow the promptings of the Spirit.
When we began to homeschool Noble last year (1994) we decide that religious education was just as important in Kindergarten as Seminary is to high school students, so as part of school we read a chapter from the church's scripture readers each day, as well as a story from The Friend. We sing Primary songs and memorize scripture verses and Articles of Faith. It is exciting to see her knowledge and testimony of the gospel blossom and grow. These spirits saved for the last days are precious. This year she has asked me to read chapters from the "real" Book of Mormon. Our goal is to complete it before she is baptized in two years.
Additionally we have used holidays to teach the gospel and the plan of salvation to our children. We limit participation in secularized or commercialized corruptions of sacred days. When JET was just four months old we got our Christmas tree up and the lights on it but that was as far as I went. The demands of a new baby and two preschoolers was a bit much. Shortly before Christmas I sat in the glow of those lights nursing JET wondering what on earth a pine tree with tinsel and lights had to do with the birth of the Savior. I tried to think of a connection but couldn't. Then I set my mind to pondering what would be a more appropriate and useful image to have for our children to learn about the true meaning of the holiday. Into my mind came the idea of having a manger and a baby doll swaddled to represent Jesus. This past Christmas we had just that. Steven build a sturdy manger, I bought a realistic looking newborn baby doll and made a wrapping of unbleached muslin. Our children were free to touch, pick-up, play with and cuddle that baby. What a difference in their attitude about gifts as we talked of birthdays and service. For months afterwards they playacted the birth of Jesus, complete with wise men and shepherds, angels and animals. It was wonderful to listen to them play. At some time we may have another tree but we will keep the tradition of the manger and baby to remind us so vividly of what we are truly celebrating.
I hope you've gotten something from my rather disjointed explanations. Frustration, discouragement and impatience are devils I have wrestled with as I tried to teach my husband the gospel. I'm still wrestling as we try to teach our children. The labor is long and hard, but the fruit is desirable and worth the struggles.
The four most important things to remember in living the gospel and teaching the gospel in our homes are to:
- Be an example of obedience - this is how blessings will flow!
- Pray individually and as a family. Expect to receive answers and then act upon the promptings we receive.
- Study the scriptures and the current prophet's teachings, again, individually and as a family.
- Hold regular Family Home Evenings to teach principles, bear testimonies and to feel the Spirit of the Lord in our homes.
Remembering that we cannot force another or rescind his agency, these words from Joseph Smith give great comfort:
Therefore, dearly beloved brethren, let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed. (D&C 123:17)
I testify that God lives, prayers are answered and blessings come in ways and when we least expect.
06 September 2012
Line upon line, precept upon precept
I'm teaching Seminary again this year to just our two sons, which is a lot like homeschooling: We do things a bit differently. I don't follow the "song and dance" routines outlined in the Teacher's manual, opting rather for a more exegesistic approach (critical explanation or interpretation of a text, esp. of scripture). Years ago I came upon that word in a book about homeschooling, by the way, and had to look it up. Very good word.
We open with a song, prayer and thought. Pretty regular there. Then we read what the student manual says about the chapter we're going to read; usually the manual, designed for home study students, asks you to look for something as you read. So we do. Then we discuss it and answer the questions in the manual looking for the subtle clues that show a larger picture.
Reading just one or two chapters each morning and talking (or thinking and writing) about the doctrines and principles in them is a good way to receive personal revelation line upon line and precept upon precept. You truly do get a little here and a little there, nuggets to build with. Build your testimony, your knowledge, your understanding.
We are studying the New Testament, of which the Gospels are my favorites, and the blessings of modern technology in the form of Bible Videos available on demand in the internet is huge. Talk about bringing the scriptures to life!
May we study the scriptures "Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ." Ephesians 4:13
We open with a song, prayer and thought. Pretty regular there. Then we read what the student manual says about the chapter we're going to read; usually the manual, designed for home study students, asks you to look for something as you read. So we do. Then we discuss it and answer the questions in the manual looking for the subtle clues that show a larger picture.
Reading just one or two chapters each morning and talking (or thinking and writing) about the doctrines and principles in them is a good way to receive personal revelation line upon line and precept upon precept. You truly do get a little here and a little there, nuggets to build with. Build your testimony, your knowledge, your understanding.
We are studying the New Testament, of which the Gospels are my favorites, and the blessings of modern technology in the form of Bible Videos available on demand in the internet is huge. Talk about bringing the scriptures to life!
May we study the scriptures "Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ." Ephesians 4:13
04 September 2012
Truth and Consequences
Truth will stand, eternal and unchanging. As I read bloggers and comments all over the internet spout opinions about my religion I remember Galileo. He was arrested, tried and convicted of heresy because he taught that the sun is the center of the solar system, not the earth. He was not the first to teach this truth, and of course he was not the last, but in his day the truths he espoused were not accepted. The truth did not change because of this non-acceptance, it stood the test of time and with the proper instruments to view to solar system the truth is now universally accepted.
The truth that members of The Church of Jesus Christ is Latter-day Saints are in fact, word and deed Christians followers of Jesus Christ, is not universally accepted. But that doesn't change the truth and someday with the "proper instruments" to view the beliefs and practices of the church it will be an accepted truth.
I've always wondered why seekers of facts or truth don't go directly to the source. It would be like a person wanting to know about Subaru automobiles going to the Ford dealer. Would you get the straight scoop? Would anyone wanting to know about the Massachusetts Institute of Technology go to University of Nevada, Las Vegas for information. If I want to know about the Baptists I sure wouldn't go to the Lutherans.
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints does not lie about it's theology, practices or customs. We do not brainwash individuals or force anyone to do anything against their will. All are welcome to attend our meetings and speak with members and missionaries. Look around the walls of our buildings and listen to the hymns we sing, the prayers over the Sacrament and then tell me that you believe we are not followers of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
One commenter said that the Book of Mormon was simply the rantings of a deranged mind (wonder where he heard that) and I wondered if he/she had ever read the book.
I do know that human beings are generally afraid of what they don't know and that fear tends to show itself as dislike. I can tell you about that from my own experience. As I was preparing to serve a mission I so hoped I would not get called to an Asian mission. I didn't like the food or the music or costumes or the strangeness of it all. I hadn't been introduced to the Asian cultures and found them to be odd at first glance. I wasn't sent there, I went to the deep South and learned to love the people of the Bible Belt, along with speaking Southern. After my mission I had experiences that opened my eyes a little bit and I could see that the Orient had wonderful things to offer. But it wasn't until many years later when our daughter Noble introduced me to all things Korean that I let go of my prejudices and opened my heart to learn of a people and culture rather different from mine.
Followers of Jesus Christ in other churches saying that Mormons aren't Christian are like me saying that Asians aren't human beings because they have customs and habits that are different than mine. We don't have to have the same customs, habits and tastes to value and appreciate each other as human beings; nor do we have to be the same in beliefs and customs to value and appreciate each other as followers of Jesus Christ. We have more in common than we are different. I can learn from you and you can learn from me. We can help each other and our communities if we unite in our commonalities and strengths rather than emphasizing our differences.
The truth that members of The Church of Jesus Christ is Latter-day Saints are in fact, word and deed Christians followers of Jesus Christ, is not universally accepted. But that doesn't change the truth and someday with the "proper instruments" to view the beliefs and practices of the church it will be an accepted truth.
I've always wondered why seekers of facts or truth don't go directly to the source. It would be like a person wanting to know about Subaru automobiles going to the Ford dealer. Would you get the straight scoop? Would anyone wanting to know about the Massachusetts Institute of Technology go to University of Nevada, Las Vegas for information. If I want to know about the Baptists I sure wouldn't go to the Lutherans.
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints does not lie about it's theology, practices or customs. We do not brainwash individuals or force anyone to do anything against their will. All are welcome to attend our meetings and speak with members and missionaries. Look around the walls of our buildings and listen to the hymns we sing, the prayers over the Sacrament and then tell me that you believe we are not followers of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
One commenter said that the Book of Mormon was simply the rantings of a deranged mind (wonder where he heard that) and I wondered if he/she had ever read the book.
I do know that human beings are generally afraid of what they don't know and that fear tends to show itself as dislike. I can tell you about that from my own experience. As I was preparing to serve a mission I so hoped I would not get called to an Asian mission. I didn't like the food or the music or costumes or the strangeness of it all. I hadn't been introduced to the Asian cultures and found them to be odd at first glance. I wasn't sent there, I went to the deep South and learned to love the people of the Bible Belt, along with speaking Southern. After my mission I had experiences that opened my eyes a little bit and I could see that the Orient had wonderful things to offer. But it wasn't until many years later when our daughter Noble introduced me to all things Korean that I let go of my prejudices and opened my heart to learn of a people and culture rather different from mine.
Followers of Jesus Christ in other churches saying that Mormons aren't Christian are like me saying that Asians aren't human beings because they have customs and habits that are different than mine. We don't have to have the same customs, habits and tastes to value and appreciate each other as human beings; nor do we have to be the same in beliefs and customs to value and appreciate each other as followers of Jesus Christ. We have more in common than we are different. I can learn from you and you can learn from me. We can help each other and our communities if we unite in our commonalities and strengths rather than emphasizing our differences.
18 August 2012
A Latter-day Captain Moroni
We are almost finished with Alma in our family Book of Mormon reading. It's one of my favorite parts of the Book of Mormon because it is so relevant to our day.
Reading chapter 46 gave me goosebumps! Here is the chapter heading:
Mormon's commentary "Yea, we see that Amalickiah, because he was a man of cunning device and a man of many flattering words, that he led away the hearts of many people to do wickedly; yea, and to seek to destroy the church of God, and to destroy the foundation of liberty which God had granted unto them, or which blessing God had sent upon the face of the land for the righteous' sake."
At this time Moroni, who was made chief captain over the Nephite armies at age twenty-five, got fed up and rent his coat then wrote upon a piece of it "In memory of our God, our religion, and freedom, and our peace, our wives, and our children" and then he fastened it to a pole, calling it the title of liberty. (Alma 43:17, 46:12, 13)
He rallied the people to a remembrance of their blessings, the commandments and instilled in them a desire to protect and maintain their liberties. Moroni took his army to stand against Amalickiah and the dissenters who followed him. Amalickiah saw that Moroni's army was more numerous than his own so he fled into the wilderness with a small number of his men. The rest were taken back to Zarahemla and forced to chose - either enter into a covenant of peace or be put to death. (The final solution!) It's interesting to note that "there were but few who denied the covenant of freedom." (Alma 46:35)
I especially like verse 38 "And Helaman and the high priests did also maintain order in the church; yea, even for the space of four years did they have much peace and rejoicing." (Emphasis mine.)
Now turn over to chapter 48, verses 11 - 13, and 17 for a description of Moroni:
On to the scene comes a man like unto Captain Moroni in the form of Mitt Romney! I just finished his book No Apology and am convinced that this is the man brought up to raise the title of liberty and rally the American people to save this country. His world view is through the lens of the gospel and the Book of Mormon. He understands the unique mission and destiny of this land of freedom. He doesn't want to be king, or be in charge for the money or power he could accrue, he wants to serve and save this nation, returning it to a land of liberty and opportunity! He has the knowledge and the experience to do the job. The most recent impressive endorsement comes from a group of 400 economists, including five Nobel Laureates. They believe his policies are the ones that will turn around the economy and put us on the right path to greatness again.
I've never been so passionate about an election before. I've even put my money where my mouth is, contributing to Romney's campaign. I truly believe that he has come to the nation for such a time as this (see Esther 4:14).
Reading chapter 46 gave me goosebumps! Here is the chapter heading:
Amalickiah conspires to be king--Moroni raises the title of liberty--He rallies the people to defend their religion--True believers are called Christians--A remnant of Joseph shall be preserved--Amalickiah and the dissenters flee to the land of Nephi--Those who will not support the cause of freedom are put to death.A wicked man, Amalickiah, gathers dissenters around him by flattering them; "And there were many in the church who believed in the flattering words of Amalickiah, therefore they dissented from the church; . . . Thus we see how quick the children of men do forget the Lord their God, yea, how quick to do iniquity, and to be led away by the evil one. Yea, and we see the great wickedness one very wicked man can cause to take place among the children of men." (Alma 46:7-9)
Mormon's commentary "Yea, we see that Amalickiah, because he was a man of cunning device and a man of many flattering words, that he led away the hearts of many people to do wickedly; yea, and to seek to destroy the church of God, and to destroy the foundation of liberty which God had granted unto them, or which blessing God had sent upon the face of the land for the righteous' sake."
At this time Moroni, who was made chief captain over the Nephite armies at age twenty-five, got fed up and rent his coat then wrote upon a piece of it "In memory of our God, our religion, and freedom, and our peace, our wives, and our children" and then he fastened it to a pole, calling it the title of liberty. (Alma 43:17, 46:12, 13)
He rallied the people to a remembrance of their blessings, the commandments and instilled in them a desire to protect and maintain their liberties. Moroni took his army to stand against Amalickiah and the dissenters who followed him. Amalickiah saw that Moroni's army was more numerous than his own so he fled into the wilderness with a small number of his men. The rest were taken back to Zarahemla and forced to chose - either enter into a covenant of peace or be put to death. (The final solution!) It's interesting to note that "there were but few who denied the covenant of freedom." (Alma 46:35)
I especially like verse 38 "And Helaman and the high priests did also maintain order in the church; yea, even for the space of four years did they have much peace and rejoicing." (Emphasis mine.)
Now turn over to chapter 48, verses 11 - 13, and 17 for a description of Moroni:
And Moroni was a strong and a mighty man; he was a man of a perfect understanding; yea, a man that did not delight in bloodshed; a man whose soul did joy in the liberty and the freedom of his country, and his brethren from bondage and slavery; Yea, a man whose heart did swell with thanksgiving to his God, for the many privileges and blessings which he bestowed upon his people; a man who did labor exceedingly for the welfare and safety of his people. Yea, and he was a man who was firm in the faith of Christ, and he had sworn with an oath to defend his people, his right, and his country, and his religion, even to the loss of his blood. . . .Yea, verily, verily I say unto you, if all men had been, and were, and ever would be, like unto Moroni, behold, the very powers of hell would have been shaken forever; yea, the devil would never have power over the hearts of the children of men.Why would Mormon include so much detail with this story? Well, he saw our day and knew what we would be facing. I believe we are at a moment in history very similar to the one Captain Moroni faced. Our current President is a cunning, flatterer who was elected by people who didn't really know who he is and what he wants to do to this country. It's as if he desires to be a king!
On to the scene comes a man like unto Captain Moroni in the form of Mitt Romney! I just finished his book No Apology and am convinced that this is the man brought up to raise the title of liberty and rally the American people to save this country. His world view is through the lens of the gospel and the Book of Mormon. He understands the unique mission and destiny of this land of freedom. He doesn't want to be king, or be in charge for the money or power he could accrue, he wants to serve and save this nation, returning it to a land of liberty and opportunity! He has the knowledge and the experience to do the job. The most recent impressive endorsement comes from a group of 400 economists, including five Nobel Laureates. They believe his policies are the ones that will turn around the economy and put us on the right path to greatness again.
I've never been so passionate about an election before. I've even put my money where my mouth is, contributing to Romney's campaign. I truly believe that he has come to the nation for such a time as this (see Esther 4:14).
09 August 2012
I was singing in the rain
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| "If ye walk in my statutes, and keep my commandments, and do them; Then I will give you rain in due season. . ." (Leviticus 26:3-4) |
Our prayers were answered this week with a fabulous rainstorm on Tuesday night. I've tried to find out how much rain fell but can't find a source for that information without paying, which I'm too cheap to do. So. Anyway, it was lots!
The temperature Wednesday and today, Thursday, has been so much cooler too, such a relief after the horrible heat wave of the last few weeks. We've had the windows open with a lovely breeze blowing through the house. I love the way old house have windows on all four walls so that a breeze can blow straight through. I've lived in modern houses with absolutely NO WINDOWS on the side of the house that gets the prevailing wind and find that those are the hottest, most stuffy houses. I like fresh outside air whenever I can get it.
24 July 2012
Blessed, Honored Pioneers
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| Handcart Pioneers by Torleif Knaphus |
This stirring statue, on Temple Square, Salt Lake City, was sculpted by my mother's uncle, Torleif Knaphus.
I've been drawn to pioneers since I was a little girl. I think I must have watched them from heaven, cheering them on and praying mightily for their success. Last night for Family Home Evening we watched 17 Miracles, a film about the Willie handcart company. Our hearts swelled with gratitude and love while our eyes leaked tears as we saw the portrayal of these pioneers.
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| Re-enactment of Pioneer Trek of 1847 |
Although we can recreate the trek, down to the smallest physical detail, it is impossible to capture the feelings of those Mormon Pioneers, cast from their homes traveling to an unknown destination where all that awaited them was a whole lot of hard work.
I'm so grateful they did it laying a firm foundation for our day. We are indebted to them and today is the day to our gratitude.
Thank you!
04 June 2012
A Day of Miracles
Not all miracles have to do with healing the sick, and such. I don't ever take for granted the miracles of technology that I use everyday. Our daughter Noble is in Korea and through the miracle of Skype we can talk to her over a video connection in real time! It is incredible. Saturday night (here) we Skyped and she shared pictures of her field trip to Kyeongbuk Palace in Seoul the day before (there). This time difference thing is amazing too, I call her Future Girl because she is living 14 hours ahead of us.
I don't understand how it all works, and I don't have to. I'm just grateful everyday for all the wonders and miracles of technology we enjoy.
I don't understand how it all works, and I don't have to. I'm just grateful everyday for all the wonders and miracles of technology we enjoy.
16 April 2012
General Conference Teachings in Action
Noble called yesterday saying that all the bad luck she had avoided on Friday the 13th had caught up to her on Saturday and she'd had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.* We talked and she expressed how lonely she was (me too) and I expressed my love for her and my confidence in her abilities. I gave her some motherly advice and by the end of the call she was sounding happier and more her confident self.
What I realized is that I've been neglecting her, and thought of what Elder David F. Evans said in conference:
*From one of our favorite children's books by Judith Viorst; our copy has been taped together more than once.
What I realized is that I've been neglecting her, and thought of what Elder David F. Evans said in conference:
"We can write of Christ by writing letters to those who are away. Missionaries serving, sons or daughters in the military, and those we love are all blessed by letters we write. Letters from home are not just quick e-mails. Real letters provide something tangible that can be held, thought about, and cherished."I repented and sent her a hand written card today, and will send another, and another, and as many as she needs to help her get through this demanding language course. I love her and want to show her by my actions as well as words over the phone or in an email.
*From one of our favorite children's books by Judith Viorst; our copy has been taped together more than once.
12 April 2012
A Mother IS a working woman!
I like how Dr. Laura puts it -- If you're not going to do the actual work of raising children, why have them? How would your employer feel if you only put in a few hours at night and on weekends? Would you be considered a valuable employee? Would you be considered full-time, especially if you sent in a substitute to take your place? No one can take the place of a loving, dedicated mother.
Others have said, but I want to say it myself. A mother works 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year. My adult children STILL call me to, as we call it, "plug in" to Mom for emotional sustenance. Mothering is hard, continuous work, for absolutely no financial remuneration.
And I LOVE IT!
Others have said, but I want to say it myself. A mother works 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year. My adult children STILL call me to, as we call it, "plug in" to Mom for emotional sustenance. Mothering is hard, continuous work, for absolutely no financial remuneration.
And I LOVE IT!
09 April 2012
April General Conference Thoughts
Conferences just keep getting better. Whether that is because I'm more mature or some other factor I don't know; many family and friends say the same thing. They just get better each time.
It's been interesting to read other's impressions about overall themes and such. I kept hearing in the talks much about personal and family responsibility, repentance and relying on the Savior. Another important theme that penetrated my spirit is that we are truly in the last days, time is short, don't delay, pay attention to eternally important things, such as the family, and distance ourselves from the distractions of the world.
Here are some of my thoughts and observations:
Saturday morning - The invocation was given by Elder John B. Dickson who was our Stake President in 1991 when we moved to Mount Vernon, Washington. I remember meeting him and shaking his hand (left). He is a marvelous man. I love how the choir sings familiar hymns in magnificent ways. You Can Make the Pathway Bright! At the end of the song I believed I could.
I wrote three lines for President Monson's talk. Repent and improve. Oppose evil. Nothing can stop the work of God. The last always gives me comfort and hope, that no matter how bad things get and how it looks like the opposition is winning, God and the righteous will prevail and win in the end.
Elder Packer's and Sister Esplin's talks about children and families touched my heart and I felt gratitude first that we had chosen to have children and then to homeschool our child. I had many opportunities to teach the gospel to our five children during the course of each day. Quantity time is what it takes, because the teaching moments are so fleeting.
Elder Hallstrom's talk about the church and the gospel hit the nail on the head for the area we live in. I wrote in the margin "I love it when I'm right!" And "True conversion is what the Branch needs." Elder Hallstrom said "Church activity is important, Gospel activity is more important." "We need to be converted to the Lord and joined to the church."
Elder Paul Koelliker said a mission becomes a template for our lives. I wrote "This is why I had to serve, to know how to teach the gospel to my children." He also said "Love of God is the root of all virtue." I'd like to have that on my wall! I also wrote in the margin "I want a large posterity!" There is nothing more important than that. (Have you seen the pictures of Bro. Romney's family? They are beautiful!)
Elder Oaks' address about the Atonement and sacrifice was masterful as usual. I learned in new ways the importance of a broken heart and contrite spirit.
President Eyring's explanation about the blessings of adversity helped me want to continue on. He said If the foundation of faith is not embedded in our hearts, the power to endure to the end will crumble. Personal Integrity creates solid ground under our faith.
The choir sang one of my favorite hymns to close the morning session, Redeemer of Israel.
Saturday afternoon - Not knowing who to look for I completely missed seeing a young man from our Provo ward singing in the MTC choir. When JET came over on Sunday he showed us, then it was easy to spot him several times when the choir was singing. It did JET good to see his friend!
Elder Holland's talk about the Laborers in the Vineyard pierced my heart. "Why should you be jealous because I choose to be kind?" The race is against sin, he said, and envy is one of them.
1. Coveting does not elevate me; be kind and be grateful God is kind.
2. The end is worth enduring for; don't dwell on old grievances.
3. This is about Grace-Atonement-Goodness of God; don't delay, it's getting late.
I loved the choir singing Lead Kindly Light, as I sang it often on my mission when walking home at night in the dark.
Elder Hales taught powerful lessons with his discourse on the Parable of the Prodigal Son. "We become converted and spiritually self-reliant when we prayerfully live our covenants.
Elder Baxter touched my heart with his story of his single mother. I married a non-member, who, although he joined the church, hasn't always been active, and has generally left the teaching of the gospel to our children up to me. It has been a hard and lonely road. We are just now seeing the fruits of my labors as our children reach adulthood and are turning our wonderfully. (My husband taught them other valuable lessons.)
Elder Cook also spoke about family, using Lehi's dream of the tree of life to describe today. He said that praying with our children may be the most important thing we do; and that the defining test of mortality is obedience to the commandments.
Elder Scott's address about revelation was instructive. I've been teaching the Old Testament in Seminary this year and recognized the phrase "to sanctify yourselves" which he said means to keep the commandments. He told us that to receive revelation we need to fast, pray, study scripture, ponder and pray some more. Nothing new, but put in such a loving and understandable way.
The MTC choir's rendition of Praise to the Man gave me chills. Those missionaries don't know or understand yet, the power of Joseph Smith's words and testimony, but I do and I love the Prophet Joseph.
Sunday Morning - President Uchtdorf will be remembered for his simple, direct exhortation: "Stop it!" I love the scripture he quoted from Luke 6:38 "Give, and it shall be given you. . . " , then he told us to give mercy, love, kindness, etc. What a wonderful reminder. It was what I needed.
Elder Nelson reminded me that our degree of gratitude to God is a measure of our love for God. I need to be more grateful and less complaining.
Elder Rasband's story of his grandson Paxton was touching. We don't ask for trials in this life, (unless you're Pres. Eyring!) they just come to us. We need to bear nobly our burdens, reach out to others, thank God for our blessings, and commit to continued service.
I knew that Sister Beck and her presidency would be released as they had served for five years, but that didn't make it any easier to see her go. I will miss her directness, her spiritual depth and her unflinching commitment to the truth. I appreciated this talk about the purpose of Relief Society-to strengthen faith in God, strengthen our families, and to give relief.
Elder Christofferson should be on the nightly news! His explanation of our doctrine and how it is established was so timely.
President Monson gave one of his classic discourses about the eternal truths which answer the questions Where did I come from? Why am I here? And where am I going after this life? This will be a good one to share with non-members.
Sunday afternoon - The choir sang two more favorites to begin this session, On This Day of Joy and Gladness, and Come Unto Jesus. I love hearing the Mormon Tabernacle Choir! Their perfection lifts my spirit.
Elder Perry's talk about the Book of Mormon reminded me of my grandfather (died in 1985) who was a lifelong scholar of the Book of Mormon.
Elder Ballard's discussion of the topic of families is another newsworthy talk. "The most important cause of our lives is our family." "Organize your lives to have time for prayer, scripture study and family activities."
Elder Haleck reminded us to focus our vision on the Savior and his teachings--the things that matter most. We need to remember that counsel when the "world" crowds our lives with distractions.
The hymn Hope of Israel is special to me because it was one of the first hymns I learned on the piano many years ago.
Elder Wilson talked about raising children and the application of agency. This should be required reading by all parents still raising children. Then Elder Evans continued the theme with a talk relating how we best build the Kingdom of God by building our families. One thing he said that resonated with me was that "real letters are tangible." I love getting a real letter in the mail, something to hold and take with me from room to room and read over and over. Some today don't know the joy of a real letter.
I look forward to rereading Elder Piper's address about encounters with the divine, the sacred versus the secular.
Elder Anderson gave another power discourse asking the question "What thinks Christ of me?" He stated profoundly that we are on a lifelong migration toward a celestial world. I thought it particularly timely with our study of the Old Testament and the migration of the children of Israel from Egypt to the Promised Land, with their forty years in the wilderness. It is a type and shadow for our mortal lives and the migration to the celestial world.
All I can say about President Monson's conclusion is that I'm grateful to have a living prophet. I didn't write any notes but do remember he counseled us to do away with disputations and contentions. We have to become a Zion people, of one heart and one mind to be ready to greet the Savior at his second coming.
I loved the closing hymn, I Need Thee Every Hour, which expresses the longings of my heart.
It was a wonderful conference with such timely messages. My husband asked if my questions had been answered. Yes, but not in a straightforward way. I have been much concerned with the current political situation in our country and the general decline of the world. Nothing was said directly, but rather we were called to repentance and directed to strengthen ourselves and our families. I remember as a young girl being taught that in the last days our families would be church units; it appears that we are headed that way with all the instruction of recent years.
I'm so thankful to have a living prophet and apostles on earth to guide us. I look forward to reading each talk and distilling further the things I need to do in my life to change and be the woman the Lord wants me to be.
It's been interesting to read other's impressions about overall themes and such. I kept hearing in the talks much about personal and family responsibility, repentance and relying on the Savior. Another important theme that penetrated my spirit is that we are truly in the last days, time is short, don't delay, pay attention to eternally important things, such as the family, and distance ourselves from the distractions of the world.
Here are some of my thoughts and observations:
Saturday morning - The invocation was given by Elder John B. Dickson who was our Stake President in 1991 when we moved to Mount Vernon, Washington. I remember meeting him and shaking his hand (left). He is a marvelous man. I love how the choir sings familiar hymns in magnificent ways. You Can Make the Pathway Bright! At the end of the song I believed I could.
I wrote three lines for President Monson's talk. Repent and improve. Oppose evil. Nothing can stop the work of God. The last always gives me comfort and hope, that no matter how bad things get and how it looks like the opposition is winning, God and the righteous will prevail and win in the end.
Elder Packer's and Sister Esplin's talks about children and families touched my heart and I felt gratitude first that we had chosen to have children and then to homeschool our child. I had many opportunities to teach the gospel to our five children during the course of each day. Quantity time is what it takes, because the teaching moments are so fleeting.
Elder Hallstrom's talk about the church and the gospel hit the nail on the head for the area we live in. I wrote in the margin "I love it when I'm right!" And "True conversion is what the Branch needs." Elder Hallstrom said "Church activity is important, Gospel activity is more important." "We need to be converted to the Lord and joined to the church."
Elder Paul Koelliker said a mission becomes a template for our lives. I wrote "This is why I had to serve, to know how to teach the gospel to my children." He also said "Love of God is the root of all virtue." I'd like to have that on my wall! I also wrote in the margin "I want a large posterity!" There is nothing more important than that. (Have you seen the pictures of Bro. Romney's family? They are beautiful!)
Elder Oaks' address about the Atonement and sacrifice was masterful as usual. I learned in new ways the importance of a broken heart and contrite spirit.
President Eyring's explanation about the blessings of adversity helped me want to continue on. He said If the foundation of faith is not embedded in our hearts, the power to endure to the end will crumble. Personal Integrity creates solid ground under our faith.
The choir sang one of my favorite hymns to close the morning session, Redeemer of Israel.
Saturday afternoon - Not knowing who to look for I completely missed seeing a young man from our Provo ward singing in the MTC choir. When JET came over on Sunday he showed us, then it was easy to spot him several times when the choir was singing. It did JET good to see his friend!
Elder Holland's talk about the Laborers in the Vineyard pierced my heart. "Why should you be jealous because I choose to be kind?" The race is against sin, he said, and envy is one of them.
1. Coveting does not elevate me; be kind and be grateful God is kind.
2. The end is worth enduring for; don't dwell on old grievances.
3. This is about Grace-Atonement-Goodness of God; don't delay, it's getting late.
I loved the choir singing Lead Kindly Light, as I sang it often on my mission when walking home at night in the dark.
Elder Hales taught powerful lessons with his discourse on the Parable of the Prodigal Son. "We become converted and spiritually self-reliant when we prayerfully live our covenants.
Elder Baxter touched my heart with his story of his single mother. I married a non-member, who, although he joined the church, hasn't always been active, and has generally left the teaching of the gospel to our children up to me. It has been a hard and lonely road. We are just now seeing the fruits of my labors as our children reach adulthood and are turning our wonderfully. (My husband taught them other valuable lessons.)
Elder Cook also spoke about family, using Lehi's dream of the tree of life to describe today. He said that praying with our children may be the most important thing we do; and that the defining test of mortality is obedience to the commandments.
Elder Scott's address about revelation was instructive. I've been teaching the Old Testament in Seminary this year and recognized the phrase "to sanctify yourselves" which he said means to keep the commandments. He told us that to receive revelation we need to fast, pray, study scripture, ponder and pray some more. Nothing new, but put in such a loving and understandable way.
The MTC choir's rendition of Praise to the Man gave me chills. Those missionaries don't know or understand yet, the power of Joseph Smith's words and testimony, but I do and I love the Prophet Joseph.
Sunday Morning - President Uchtdorf will be remembered for his simple, direct exhortation: "Stop it!" I love the scripture he quoted from Luke 6:38 "Give, and it shall be given you. . . " , then he told us to give mercy, love, kindness, etc. What a wonderful reminder. It was what I needed.
Elder Nelson reminded me that our degree of gratitude to God is a measure of our love for God. I need to be more grateful and less complaining.
Elder Rasband's story of his grandson Paxton was touching. We don't ask for trials in this life, (unless you're Pres. Eyring!) they just come to us. We need to bear nobly our burdens, reach out to others, thank God for our blessings, and commit to continued service.
I knew that Sister Beck and her presidency would be released as they had served for five years, but that didn't make it any easier to see her go. I will miss her directness, her spiritual depth and her unflinching commitment to the truth. I appreciated this talk about the purpose of Relief Society-to strengthen faith in God, strengthen our families, and to give relief.
Elder Christofferson should be on the nightly news! His explanation of our doctrine and how it is established was so timely.
President Monson gave one of his classic discourses about the eternal truths which answer the questions Where did I come from? Why am I here? And where am I going after this life? This will be a good one to share with non-members.
Sunday afternoon - The choir sang two more favorites to begin this session, On This Day of Joy and Gladness, and Come Unto Jesus. I love hearing the Mormon Tabernacle Choir! Their perfection lifts my spirit.
Elder Perry's talk about the Book of Mormon reminded me of my grandfather (died in 1985) who was a lifelong scholar of the Book of Mormon.
Elder Ballard's discussion of the topic of families is another newsworthy talk. "The most important cause of our lives is our family." "Organize your lives to have time for prayer, scripture study and family activities."
Elder Haleck reminded us to focus our vision on the Savior and his teachings--the things that matter most. We need to remember that counsel when the "world" crowds our lives with distractions.
The hymn Hope of Israel is special to me because it was one of the first hymns I learned on the piano many years ago.
Elder Wilson talked about raising children and the application of agency. This should be required reading by all parents still raising children. Then Elder Evans continued the theme with a talk relating how we best build the Kingdom of God by building our families. One thing he said that resonated with me was that "real letters are tangible." I love getting a real letter in the mail, something to hold and take with me from room to room and read over and over. Some today don't know the joy of a real letter.
I look forward to rereading Elder Piper's address about encounters with the divine, the sacred versus the secular.
Elder Anderson gave another power discourse asking the question "What thinks Christ of me?" He stated profoundly that we are on a lifelong migration toward a celestial world. I thought it particularly timely with our study of the Old Testament and the migration of the children of Israel from Egypt to the Promised Land, with their forty years in the wilderness. It is a type and shadow for our mortal lives and the migration to the celestial world.
All I can say about President Monson's conclusion is that I'm grateful to have a living prophet. I didn't write any notes but do remember he counseled us to do away with disputations and contentions. We have to become a Zion people, of one heart and one mind to be ready to greet the Savior at his second coming.
I loved the closing hymn, I Need Thee Every Hour, which expresses the longings of my heart.
It was a wonderful conference with such timely messages. My husband asked if my questions had been answered. Yes, but not in a straightforward way. I have been much concerned with the current political situation in our country and the general decline of the world. Nothing was said directly, but rather we were called to repentance and directed to strengthen ourselves and our families. I remember as a young girl being taught that in the last days our families would be church units; it appears that we are headed that way with all the instruction of recent years.
I'm so thankful to have a living prophet and apostles on earth to guide us. I look forward to reading each talk and distilling further the things I need to do in my life to change and be the woman the Lord wants me to be.
03 April 2012
Conference Thoughts -- Delayed
I'm scrambling to finish an Easter dress to send to my daughter in California AND get ready for our missionary son to return on Wednesday. I loved conference, took notes, want to share my thoughts and insights, BUT, it will have to wait until Thursday. Check back then.
30 March 2012
Written for Our Day
Today's scripture reading was the twenty-eighth chapter of 2 Nephi. It perfectly describes our day!
When we finished reading the chapter I commented that this chapter perfectly describes the political campaign this year. Not to mention various and sundry wickedness throughout the world.
I love the Book of Mormon, it truly is the handbook for our day. And it gives hope and purpose to the righteous:
". . . the churches which are built up, and not unto the Lord, when the one shall say unto the other: Behold, I, I am the Lord's; and the others shall say: I, I am the Lord's; . . . And they shall contend one with another; and their priests shall contend one with another, and they shall teach with their learning, and deny the Holy Ghost, which giveth utterance." (2 Nephi 28:3,4)
"Wo unto them that turn aside the just for a thing of naught and revile against that which is good and say that it is of no worth!" [Remember what Gingrich said about Romney being married to the same woman and not having affairs.] For the day shall come that the Lord God will speedily visit the inhabitants of the earth; and in that day that they are fully ripe in iniquity they shall perish. . . . For behold, at that day shall he [the devil] rage in the hearts of the children of men, and stir them up to anger against that which is good." (2 Nephi 28:16,20)
When we finished reading the chapter I commented that this chapter perfectly describes the political campaign this year. Not to mention various and sundry wickedness throughout the world.
I love the Book of Mormon, it truly is the handbook for our day. And it gives hope and purpose to the righteous:
". . .nevertheless, I will be merciful unto them, saith the Lord God, if they will repent and come unto me; for mine arm is lengthened out all the day long, saith the Lord God of Hosts." (2 Nephi 28:32)
27 March 2012
There is a Balm in Gilead
After the difficulties of the past week I was grateful for Monday morning and the quiet after everyone left for the day. While I was folding some bedding that needed to be put away I felt impressed to sing hymns, so I began with There is Sunshine in My Soul Today, followed by Count Your Blessings and We Are Sowing. I felt lighter and stronger as I finished my task. Coming down stairs I put on three CD's of hymns and enjoyed the spirit they brought into my home as I went about my work.
I love music! I sang my first solo in church when I was about eight. It was for Mother's Day and I sang a song from the old green children's song book called My Grandmother's Garden. When I was almost 14 I was called to be the Primary chorister (in the olden days when Primary was on a weekday afternoon). I've led the music in Primary, Sunday School, Relief Society, Sacrament Meeting, and several ward choirs. It is one of my most cherished callings. As a teenager I would put on Mormon Tabernacle Choir albums (the old-fashioned LP's) and "direct" the choir as they sang. I have a secret desire to direct them in real life. Can you imagine what a thrill that would be?!!
Music calms my soul and invites the spirit, which is what I needed yesterday. Today as we read our chapter of the Book of Mormon I enjoyed more balm as we read these verses:
I love music! I sang my first solo in church when I was about eight. It was for Mother's Day and I sang a song from the old green children's song book called My Grandmother's Garden. When I was almost 14 I was called to be the Primary chorister (in the olden days when Primary was on a weekday afternoon). I've led the music in Primary, Sunday School, Relief Society, Sacrament Meeting, and several ward choirs. It is one of my most cherished callings. As a teenager I would put on Mormon Tabernacle Choir albums (the old-fashioned LP's) and "direct" the choir as they sang. I have a secret desire to direct them in real life. Can you imagine what a thrill that would be?!!
Music calms my soul and invites the spirit, which is what I needed yesterday. Today as we read our chapter of the Book of Mormon I enjoyed more balm as we read these verses:
For we labor diligently to write, to persuade our children, and also our brethren, to believe in Christ, and to be reconciled to God; for we know that it is by grace that we are saved, after all we can do. . . And we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ, and we write according to our prophecies, that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins. . . And now behold, I say unto you that the right way is to believe in Christ, and deny him not; and Christ is the Holy One of Israel; wherefore ye must bow down before him, and worship him with all your might, mind, and strength, and your whole soul; and if ye do this ye shall in nowise be cast out. (2 Nephi 25:23,26,29)I'm so looking forward to the refreshment of General Conference this weekend. And then to the return of our missionary son from Argentina on Wednesday.
20 March 2012
Offenses
I've said before that this area is challenging for me. We are the only members (active) of the church in our town, and we are far from our families. We are our only support, my husband, me and our children. One evening in December at the close of a Youth Christmas activity our youngest son began to give the closing prayer. He paused for second to collect his thoughts and in that moment of quiet the three or four year old son of one of the youth leaders deliberately made a noise (you know how young children are), my son cracked up and in a second other youths were giggling. The little boy glanced around appreciatively at his audience while my son tried to regain his composure. I looked for the father to step forward to help his little boy be quiet, but he didn't and no one else did either so I stepped over to the boy and bending over him said "You need to be quiet while we have prayer," as I folded his arms and gently held him. As I did that the Branch President attempted to stop me saying "That's not your job." I ignored him and stayed bent over helping the boy remain reverent. Another youth took over and said the closing prayer. It all happened within a few seconds. When the prayer ended I complimented the little boy on his reverence and let him go. No one said anything to me and it's a good thing they didn't because I was shaking with anger. My sons and I helped clean up for a few minutes then we left. I drove home with tears streaming down my face. I can't remember a time when I felt such anger and humiliation. If it wasn't my job, whose was it? The father didn't step forward, the Branch President who was closest to the boy didn't, Sisters who have the boy in Primary didn't step up, neither did the teens who were sitting next to the little boy. How is a child to learn proper behavior in the church unless someone shows him. The father is a recent convert, divorced, only has the boy every other week. He isn't an experienced Dad. So, thinking I was helping, I stepped over to help both the boy and his father. Apparently that wasn't the right thing to do.
On the way home in my mind I said "I'm never going back to church there." As I said that, the word of the Lord came into my mind saying, "He isn't the reason you go to church there, he won't be the reason you leave," and a measure of peace came into my heart. That's right. I didn't search for a congregation with a Pastor I liked who makes me feel good for coming to church. I go to church where I'm assigned by geography and I'm not going to let a mere mortal stand between me and my Savior.
For just a moment I could understand how and why people choose to leave the church, refusing to attend because of an offense. The members of this little branch struggle with offenses, giving and taking. The Relief Society President won't speak to me because I offended her last year. I had no idea! The only reason I found out is because our husbands work together in the Young Mens and my husband said to hers that when we first moved here I thought I had found a kindred spirit in her, and wondered why she no longer spoke to me; he said to my husband, "I know, I tell her to just let go, that it is in the past, but she won't." I have no idea what I did, which makes it difficult to offer a sincere and specific apology, but I will try nevertheless.
Yesterday, I called out a Seminary student for some deceitful behavior and this morning she didn't show up. Even after I apologized! Her family is one of the few strong and active families in the branch. I even emailed her mother asking for help and advice to mend the fences. She never answered. It makes me crazy!!!!!
Should I not attend church so I won't offend anyone by my presence, actions or words? Should I attend but not interact with anyone so I won't offend? Is it better to not have any callings so I won't offend? What is it about me, my actions and my words that offends others? This is a perplexing situation. I have been very careful to refrain from saying "Well in Utah (or VA, or WA, or CA where we've lived) we did things this way." I think I'm friendly and open to all, not cliquish or cold. I attempt to help in any way I can, without waiting to be asked. (Except now I don't go anywhere near that little boy because "it's not my job.")
There are a few things of which I am certain:
1. I do not deliberately set out to cause trouble and offend people.
2. I apologize when I know that I've offended and I attempt to resolve and rebuild the relationship.
3. No matter what happens, I know that the Gospel is true and that Jesus is my Savior and I won't let any hurt feelings that I have stop me from attending church and participating in the ordinance of the Sacrament. I need the strengthening influence of the hymns, prayers, lessons and ordinances.
I have had my feelings hurt, been offended by actions, looks and words, throughout my life, even by priesthood leaders. I chalk it up to ignorance of the situation or bad manners, but never deliberate malice. Why do others regard me as a malefactor, and hold grudges? And why do so many members stop attending church when they are called to repentance, either by a leader or by their own guilt? Makes me wonder how strong their testimony, faith and commitment are.
On the way home in my mind I said "I'm never going back to church there." As I said that, the word of the Lord came into my mind saying, "He isn't the reason you go to church there, he won't be the reason you leave," and a measure of peace came into my heart. That's right. I didn't search for a congregation with a Pastor I liked who makes me feel good for coming to church. I go to church where I'm assigned by geography and I'm not going to let a mere mortal stand between me and my Savior.
For just a moment I could understand how and why people choose to leave the church, refusing to attend because of an offense. The members of this little branch struggle with offenses, giving and taking. The Relief Society President won't speak to me because I offended her last year. I had no idea! The only reason I found out is because our husbands work together in the Young Mens and my husband said to hers that when we first moved here I thought I had found a kindred spirit in her, and wondered why she no longer spoke to me; he said to my husband, "I know, I tell her to just let go, that it is in the past, but she won't." I have no idea what I did, which makes it difficult to offer a sincere and specific apology, but I will try nevertheless.
Yesterday, I called out a Seminary student for some deceitful behavior and this morning she didn't show up. Even after I apologized! Her family is one of the few strong and active families in the branch. I even emailed her mother asking for help and advice to mend the fences. She never answered. It makes me crazy!!!!!
Should I not attend church so I won't offend anyone by my presence, actions or words? Should I attend but not interact with anyone so I won't offend? Is it better to not have any callings so I won't offend? What is it about me, my actions and my words that offends others? This is a perplexing situation. I have been very careful to refrain from saying "Well in Utah (or VA, or WA, or CA where we've lived) we did things this way." I think I'm friendly and open to all, not cliquish or cold. I attempt to help in any way I can, without waiting to be asked. (Except now I don't go anywhere near that little boy because "it's not my job.")
There are a few things of which I am certain:
1. I do not deliberately set out to cause trouble and offend people.
2. I apologize when I know that I've offended and I attempt to resolve and rebuild the relationship.
3. No matter what happens, I know that the Gospel is true and that Jesus is my Savior and I won't let any hurt feelings that I have stop me from attending church and participating in the ordinance of the Sacrament. I need the strengthening influence of the hymns, prayers, lessons and ordinances.
I have had my feelings hurt, been offended by actions, looks and words, throughout my life, even by priesthood leaders. I chalk it up to ignorance of the situation or bad manners, but never deliberate malice. Why do others regard me as a malefactor, and hold grudges? And why do so many members stop attending church when they are called to repentance, either by a leader or by their own guilt? Makes me wonder how strong their testimony, faith and commitment are.
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