Teaching to Understand

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday morning session of the April 2012 General Conference.

My mom worked as a secretary at an adult night school until I was about eight or nine. We had dinner at 5:00 each night and then she would leave to go to work. My older siblings would clean up from dinner, and then at bedtime dad would put my younger brother and I to bed. He was never as gentle and kind as my mom. When I was eight or nine, the bishop counseled my parents that my mother should quit work and stay home as my older siblings were teens and needed her home more than we needed any money she was earning. My parents obeyed that counsel and she found other ways to bring in a little money to help the family budget.

Before I married I made sure that my husband knew that when I became a mother I'd stay home and raise our children. He didn't think we could make it on one income, but I assured him that I knew how to do it. I worked until about six weeks before our first child was born. Then again when she was 19 I took a job because my husband had lost his and we needed some income. Those two years I worked were some of the worst ever.

Sister Cheryl A. Esplin, Second Counselor in the Primary General Presidency, talked about teaching children to not only know the doctrine but, as we are instructed in Doctrine and Covenants 68:25, to understand the doctrine.

She tells a wonderful story of her daughter and granddaughter's experience with a teaching moment, then says, "These moments are spontaneous and unplanned and happen in the normal flow of family life. They come and go quickly, so we need to be alert and recognize a teaching moment when our children come to us with a question or worry, when they have problems getting along with siblings or friends, when they need to control their anger, when they make a mistake, or when they need to make a decision."

Because of a confluence of forces today there are very few stay-at-home mothers. Women are stretched to the breaking point with being a wife, mother, homemaker and breadwinner. Families allow or encourage their children to be in so many after school activities that there is little to no time for parents to pick up on those spontaneous and unplanned teaching moments. If they do recognize them, most are too tired and stressed to act upon them. 

I don't know what the answer is for each individual, that will require individuals, couples and families to study, ponder and pray about their situation; but I'm sure grateful my mother was obedient to the counsel to stay home.

Sister Esplin explains, "We can know our children are beginning to understand the doctrine when we see it revealed in their attitudes and actions without external threats or rewards. As our children learn to understand gospel doctrines, they become more self-reliant and more responsible. They become part of the solution to our family challenges and make a positive contribution to the environment of our home and the success of our family."

That sounds wonderful.   

Don't Forget

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the General Relief Society session of the October 2011 conference.

It seems appropriate at this Christmas season to quote from President Uchtdorf's talk:

If you will only allow His divine love into your life, it can dress any wound, heal any hurt, and soften any sorrow.

The gift of Jesus Christ is the best, most precious gift of all eternity. 

 

The Songs They Could Not Sing

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday afternoon session of the October 2011 conference.

Elder Quentin L. Cook's talk in this session touched my heart and brought tears to my eyes. About a year ago I was pouring out my heart to God and pleading for understanding about what I should do, why I felt like such a failure in life, and just generally wanted some relief from the sorrows I felt. Into my mind came a thought, "Give yourself some grace, you've had a hard life."  That had never occurred to me before. That I'd been given a hard life. I knew that moments have been difficult, but I chalked it up mostly to my own choices. I never thought that Heavenly Father was giving me challenges, but it makes sense overall.

Elder Cook says, "While we do not know all the answers, we do know important principles that allow us to face tragedies with faith and confidence that there is a bright future planned for each of us."

That is so comforting! 

Elder Cook outlines three of the important principles that can help us navigate life.

First, we have a Father in Heaven who knows and loves us personally and understands our suffering perfectly.

Second, His Son, Jesus Christ, is our Savior and Redeemer, whose Atonement not only provides for salvation and exaltation but also will compensate for all the unfairness of life.

Third, the Father's plan of happiness for His children includes not only a premortal and mortal life, but also an eternal life as well, including a great and glorious reunion with those we have lost. All wrongs will be righted, and we will see with perfect clarity and faultless perspective and understanding.

At the final interview with my mission president I expressed that I felt somewhat of a failure because all of the people I taught who chose to be baptized were in the first half of my mission. What happened to my success? Why no baptisms in the second half? He lovingly explained that there are more ways to measure success than just the number of baptisms. He told me that he had given me companions who wanted to go home, but I helped them stay and be successful. (I thought I was the one who wanted to go home!) It was rather eye-opening to me. Perhaps that is what it will be like when we are with Our Father in Heaven and we finally understand all that we went through.

Elder Cook said, We are unaware of hosts of blessings that we receive from day to day. It is extremely important that we have a spirit of gratitude in our hearts. 

The challenges we face in life give us a chance to prove to ourselves and God that we will be faithful no matter what. Paul wrote to the Thessalonians, "In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." (1 Thes. 5:18) EVERYTHING! Not just the good times, the obvious blessings, but when we are being buffeted and challenged, when we can't see clearly the outcome, or when there is no end in sight. That's not easy to do. But Paul also wrote to the Corinthians "Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him." (1 Cor. 2:9)

I await the day when I'll be reunited with our son who left too soon, and didn't finish his songs. Yep, life is hard, but that's the nature of learning and being tested. I want to pass this test!

Elder Cook ended with, "The Savior said, 'Therefore, let your hearts be comforted. . . . Be still and know that I am God.' We have His promise that we with our children will sing 'songs of everlasting joy.'"