James

We have set up a donation site at GoFundme for any who want to contribute to help settle James' affairs and cover funeral expenses. 

Our Son

 

James Frederick Thoelke
17 September 1996 - 24 April 2023

Our precious son took his life yesterday. He had struggled for many years with deep feelings of worthlessness, and alcohol, a dangerous combination. The demons who tormented him wore him down to where he couldn't take anymore.

He leaves a huge hole in our hearts and will be missed until we all graduate from this mortal boarding school and meet again. My mother was with us, by my bedside, when James was born, I think she held him first. His was the only one of our children's baptisms that my parents were able to attend. I hope they were the first to greet him on the other side.

I'm so grateful for the bedrock of my testimony and can say, like Job of old, "I know that my redeemer liveth, and that he shall stand at the latter day upon the earth: And though after my skin worms destroy this body, yet in my flesh shall I see God." (Job 19:25-26)

Comforting Voices

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday afternoon session of the October 2000 conference.

Listening to this session of conference was comforting to me during a week of personal upheaval. Just hearing the voices, some familiar, others not, comforted my churned up heart. It didn't matter what the subject, comforting as each was, it was the voices of calm, loving men speaking words of wisdom and encouragement that was most comforting.

President Boyd K. Packer's gravelly voice spoke of much needed truths about the sacredness of our bodies, which would heal so many if his counsel was heeded today. "There is in your body the supernal power to create life. Boys grow up to be men and may become fathers; girls grow up to be women and may become mothers. Natural and good feelings draw men and women together." Not at all what current, strident voices want us to believe. The world needs prophets and apostles more than ever!

I appreciated Elder H. Aldridge Gillespie's talk on The Blessings of Keeping the Sabbath Day Holy. It was a good reminder to refrain from worldly pursuits, and to be more active doing the Lord's work on His day. This has always been a struggle in our family because my husband was raised in a different faith, and was not associated with any faith when we met and married. Old habits die hard when there is no understanding of a gospel principle and little commitment to change. It was good to hear another testimony!

Elder Robert C. Oaks' talk on Sharing the Gospel hit a nerve with me. I live a fairly secluded life. I don't "go to work" ever, our children are all grown so I don't have a reason to meet with any other parents. I'm not a member of any organization or group other than church. I've tried to be active in the community, but nothing seems to work for me and I haven't been able to make any friends in our town. Sharing the gospel is difficult when I don't know any non-members. That's not a good excuse though, and I need to find a way that is normal and natural to me. This talk was a good reminder to seek the Spirit to help me.

Lead, Kindly Light

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday morning session of the October 2000 conference.

In the second area I served in as a missionary we walked much of the time to save miles on the mission car. We covered three towns, the branch was in the middle town and the other two were about thirty miles away to the north and south. As we'd walk home in the dark we often sang the hymn Lead, Kindly Light to calm our (my) nervous souls. I loved that hymn before my mission, I loved it while serving, and I've come to love it even more in the many years since I served. 

Sister Virginia U. Jensen, First Counselor in the Relief Society General Presidency used this hymn as the theme of her talk. 

The light of Jesus Christ is stronger than any darkness we face in this life, if we have faith in Him, seek after Him, and obey Him.

 

I remember a line Lord of the Rings from Gandalf, referring to a darkness spreading over the land. When I heard it in the film I thought it perfectly described the last days when the wickedness and power of Satan would cover the world. We seem to be there.

 

We can find ourselves in places of darkness from time to time. We may wander into dark, spiritual caverns when we make foolish choices, admit harmful influences into our lives, or turn away from the light of the gospel to embrace the world just a little longer. It may seem harmless at first--just a little exploring, that's all. Before we know it, we become separated from the light and left in darkness alone. Why do we remain in darkness when such rescuing light awaits us? Let us bask in the warm and illuminating light provided by the gospel of Jesus Christ. Let the Savior's kindly light lead us one step at a time. Let covenants and commandments keep us safe as we follow the gospel pathway to our heavenly home.

With the world's path darkening by the day, and perversions and sin celebrated in the media, the light of the Gospel of Jesus Christ shines more brightly than ever. We can be safely led through the valley of the shadow of death and fear no evil by following the Good Shepherd's light to our eternal home.

We have children who have turned off the path, or are struggling to stay on the path, lured by the ways of the world. It grieves my heart when they turn from the light and blunder into the dark. I cling to the promise of the prophets and apostles that there is no one so far away in the dark that the light of the Savior's Atonement can't reach. 

Sister Jensen began her talk with a story about a ten year old boy who spent five days trapped in the pitch-black darkness of an abandoned mine. Now at the time of the talk he was Elder Dennis in Honduras "sharing a message of hope, salvation, and light."

What he teaches every day is the paradox he experienced as a young boy lost in a mine: that amidst the encircling gloom, amidst the darkest possible circumstances, it is possible to feel hope, peace, and comfort--all because of the light which is stronger than all darkness, the light of Jesus Christ.

 

Three Themes I Heard in General Conference

We just finished the spiritual feast of General Conference, and what a feast it was; the talks, the music, even the prayers!

Listening to, and taking brief notes of each talk I heard three themes repeated over and over.

1. Repent! Sometimes explicitly, often implicitly. 

2. Ministering! For those on both sides of the veil we need to do better, much better.

3. Becoming one in Christ! A Zion people is to be of one heart and one mind, and that heart and mind are Christ's. We are not only to follow Him, but to work constantly to become like Him. A tall order, but necessary for us to be ready to receive Him when He comes again.

Elder Gary E. Stevenson - Celebrate Easter with the same fervor and enthusiasm as Christmas.

Bonnie H. Cordon - Create muscle memory of discipleship.

Elder Carl B. Cook - "Let's do it again sometime!"

Elder Gerrit W. Gong - Our wards (and branches) are a spiritual ecosystem.

Elder Quentin L. Cook - Prepare for gathering to our heavenly home.

Elder Allen D. Haynie - Repent! Begin again to follow the prophet.

Pres. Henry B. Eyring - Seek for the Savior's peace, "I will not leave you comfortless."

Elder Dale G. Renlund - There is power in covenants, and protection from the adversary, when the temple is an important part of our life.

Elder Peter F. Meurs - We have access to the saving, redeeming, healing power of Jesus Christ.

Elder Randall K. Bennett - Patriarchal Blessings!

Elder Craig C. Christensen - We were created to have joy. Repentance is the pathway to joy because it leads us to the Savior.

Elder Evan A. Schmutz - Trust the doctrine of Christ and build your life on the rock!

Elder Benjamin de Hoyos - Temples and Family History!

Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf - Daily bread is best prepared and consumed at home.

Elder Mark A. Bragg - Be a good man in a storm, develop spiritual, mental and physical poise.

Milton daRocha Camargo - The Savior solves problems! The more we focus on Jesus Christ, the more sin loses its appeal.

Elder K. Brett Nattress - Do we remember Father in Heaven and love Him?

Elder Juan A. Uceda - The Good, the Beautiful, the Magnificent Shepherd, Jesus Christ. With the Savior's help we can love and minister to each other. (This was one of my favorites!)

Elder D. Todd Christofferson - The only way to be unified is to become like Christ. Bend our efforts to the common cause.

Camille N. Johnson - Jesus Christ is relief!

Elder Ulisses Soares - Hearts knit together in unity and love; cease from contention; clothe ourselves in the bond of charity.

Elder Kazuhiko Yamashita - Patriarchal blessings are personal counsel from the Lord to you.

Elder Neil L. Andersen - Catch hold of the thought of Jesus Christ to be saved and healed.

Elder Kevin R. Duncan - In this mortal life we can never escape the war, but we can escape the adversary through worship in the temple.

President Russell M. Nelson - Be peacemakers now and always! Anger never persuades, contention never builds. Disciples of Christ should be examples of how to treat others. Charity is the antidote to contention. As we follow the Prince of Peace we become His peacemakers on earth.

President Dallin H. Oaks - We believe in Christ!

Elder M. Russell Ballard - Following the promptings of the spirit is one of the things that matters most in our relationships. A testimony of the Savior matters most! Testify often of what you know and believe, not just what you're thankful for.

Elder Ronald A. Rasband - Fill your "bucket list" with the oil of hearing and acting on the Doctrine of Christ.

Elder Vern P. Stanfill - Good enough! Perfectionism vs. Perfected in Christ.

Elder W. Mark Bassett - Learn from the story of Lazarus that there are things that we can and must do, then Christ can do for us what only He can do.

Elder Ahmad S. Corbitt - Learn for yourself the answer to the question "Why did Jesus have to die?" through studying the Plan of Salvation.

Elder David A. Bednar - Abide in and walk with the Son of God. Is the Word in us? Is the tree of Christ growing in us?

President Russell M. Nelson - Come unto the Savior and He can heal you! Jesus is the reason we build temples, they are His houses.

For dessert we had carrot cake with cream cheese frosting.