Daughters in My Kingdom

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the General Relief Society Meeting of the October 2010 conference.

I know we're not supposed to have favorites among the general authorities and general officers of the church. I know that. But I just can't help love Sister Julie B. Beck for her straightforward declarations of truth and clarity of message. It seems to me that Relief Society isn't quite the same as it once was, unless you live in an area with a fabulous Relief Society Presidency who know and act upon the purposes of the organization.

 

Fifteen years ago Sister Beck introduced a new resource for Relief Society, a book called, "Daughters in My Kingdom: The History and Work of Relief Society." I've read it several times in the intervening years, learning more each time and remembering the important purposes of this society for female members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, which are: increasing faith in Jesus Christ, strengthening families, and providing relief to others.

 

"Understanding the history of Relief Society strengthens the foundational identity and worth of faithful women." 

We don't meet together to share the latest trends on Social Media, or compare notes on how to get ahead at the office. We meet together in Relief Society to affirm our eternal identity as daughters of God, and our worth as women, wives, mothers, and homemakers who "make the living worthwhile." (I learned a motto decades ago that says, "Dad makes the living, mom makes the living worthwhile" and adopted it as my own.) We meet to encourage and strengthen each other in keeping our covenants, obeying the commandments, and pressing forward with steadfastness in Christ.

 

Babylon all around us tells us our identity and worth comes from how much classroom education and how many degrees we have, what kind of career we pursue, and how large our net worth is. The Lord tells us that we have infinite worth as His daughters and our eternal identity is a woman with the potential to be queen, priestess, wife and mother forever.

 

"[The Lord] intended Relief Society to help build His people and prepare them for the blessings of the temple. He established this organization to align His daughters with His work and to enlist their help in building His kingdom and strengthening the homes of Zion. . . . The Relief Society as an organization has always had the responsibility to organize the energies of the sisters in the wards and branches of Zion."

 

I've spent the past fifteen years in small branches where most women are converts who never knew the Relief Society of previous generations. They haven't experienced the different types of lessons that encouraged sisters to learn more about the world, countries, cultures, become a better mother, a better visiting teacher, a better friend. They haven't experienced "workdays" when the sisters gather around a quilt, finish it and take it to a new mother or recently arrived refugee; or learn how to make a delicious meal out of food storage items. It wasn't exactly the activity that was important, it was the bonds of sisterhood that were built being, working, and learning together.

 

In recent years I've felt so discouraged because I find neither relief nor society when I attend Relief Society. I've long felt like the "odd-man out" because I don't have a college degree, and didn't have a career outside the home. My goodness, I hardly struggled with menopause! I miss leaders like Sister Beck who promote homemaking, motherhood, and service in the church as the highest good.

 

"We study our history because it helps us change. Ultimately, the value of history is not so much in its dates, names, and places. It is valuable because it teaches us the principles, purposes, and patterns we are to follow, it helps us know who we are and what we are to do, and it unites us in strengthening the homes of Zion and building the Kingdom of God on the earth. Relief Society, when it operates in an inspired way, can replace fear, doubt, and selfishness with faith, hope, and charity."

 

I recommend reading or re-reading Daughters in My Kingdom for a needed shot of enthusiasm for Relief Society's history and purposes as well as some ideas on ministering.

 

 

Rest Unto Your Souls

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday afternoon session of the October 2010 conference.

Our son's suicide was the most lift up-ending event that has ever happened to me. It shook the foundations of our family, rattled my faith, and shattered my sense of identity and worth. 

About six months prior to James leaving us, I had an urgent and persistent prompting to study the gospel more diligently and deeply. Following that inspiration proved to be life saving to me.

Elder Per G. Malm of the Seventy said, "Faith in Jesus Christ and following His teachings give us a firm hope, and this hope becomes a solid anchor to our souls. We can become steadfast and immovable. We can enter into the rest of the Lord."

That first sleepless night after my husband discovered what had happened to James I tossed and turned unable to turn off my brain or my tears. All night my mind alternated between two thoughts as wave after wave of gratitude filled my soul: "I know that my Redeemer lives!" and "I'm so grateful for the honor and privilege of being James' mother." 

The past two and a half years have been hard, lonely, and uncertain as we've grieved, navigated changes in life plans, and healed from the gaping hole that James left in our family.

Elder Malm says, "A helpful habit is to lift our vision daily in order to maintain an eternal perspective of the things we plan and do, especially if we detect a tendency to wait until a future tomorrow to do what we know we should pursue while we have our present today."

I shudder to think of how weak I might have been if I hadn't followed the prompting to deepen my knowledge and testimony of the Atonement of the Savior, the Plan of Salvation, and eternal families. I often wonder how others who do not know what I do, and have what I have, endure the pain of a loved one's death.

If I ever wonder how to tell if a prompting is from God, I remember what I know from Moroni. Elder Malm reminds me in his talk. "When we learn to handle the small and simple daily things in a wise and inspired way, the result is a positive influence that will solidify harmony in our souls and build up and strengthen those around us. This is so because everything which invites us to do good 'is sent forth by the power and gift of Christ; wherefore [we] may know with a perfect knowledge it is of God' (Moroni 7:16)."

Sister Camille Johnson's talk in the most recent general conference fits well with this one too. We can be whole in Jesus Christ even though we are not physically, emotionally, or mentally healed. The death of James is permanent for the rest of my life, he will not be returned to me. I will miss him every day and feel a void where he used to be. But I am whole in Christ and can keep pressing forward steadfast in Him knowing that our family will be reunited in the future.

 

Nuggets and Pearls

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday morning session of the October 2010 conference.

A few talks stood out to me from this session, so I gleaned some nuggets and pearls from each one.

President Henry B. Eyring - God does not rule in nations, but He is mindful of them. He can and does place people in positions of influence who want what is best for the people and who trusts in the Lord.

I find that comforting as I think back on the elections of the past twenty-five years. The United States has had ups and downs; scary times and even more frightening times. But this is a land of promise, the headquarters of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. We are blessed that in spite of the elected officials, regardless of who is in the White House, the Gospel rolls forth, temples are built, Israel is gathered and preparations continue for the Second Coming. Life is so much better when we elect men and women who make it easier to live the gospel, keep the commandments and prosper in the land but God's work cannot be stopped.

He also said, "You show your trust in Him when you listen with the intent to learn and repent and then you go and do whatever He asks."

King Benjamin said, similarly, ". . . and now, if you believe all these things see that ye do them." (Mosiah 4:10) And we sing, ". . . teach me all that I must do, to live with him someday."

President Boyd K. Packer - There is something very liberating when an individual determines of his or her own free will to be obedient to our Father and our God and expresses that willingness to Him in prayer.

Isn't it wonderful to have free will and choice? With that, though, comes accountability and consequences. This principle, often called the Law of the Harvest, has been largely forgotten in current society, such that when it is invoked people howl in discontent. We reap what we sow. There is no getting around that; it might be delayed, but the harvest always comes.

President Packer also said, "Nowhere are the generosity and the kindness and mercy of God more manifest than in repentance. . . . Repentance is like unto a detergent. Even ground-in stains of sin will come out."

To me that is comforting, reassuring, and hopeful. No matter how sincere my desire to be obedient is I won't be perfect. I will mess up, choose poorly, make mistakes, and fall short. The gift of repentance is just about the best ever.

Elder Dallin H. Oaks - Those who reject the need for organized religion reject the work of the Master, who established His church and its officers in the meridian of time and who reestablished them in modern times.

It is the purpose of the organization of the church first to enable authorized performance of the ordinances of salvation and exaltation, and then help us stay faithful to the covenants we've made. The fellowship with others on the same path is encouraging and strengthening. We need each other; as the saying goes, there is strength in numbers. 

Elder Oaks also said, "Each member needed to seek the Lord in prayer and receive the direct message of comfort and guidance that comes through the Holy Spirit to those who seek and listen." 

He was speaking of a time of an earthquake in Chile when the physical and spiritual needs of the members was great. The church helped with physical needs, but each member needed to draw on God's help also. I know what it's like to go through a big calamity. The ultimate comfort comes to us from Heavenly Father through the Holy Ghost. I learned long ago that Father and my Savior are dependable and will never let me down or disappoint. They keep their promises.

 

"Oh Lord, it's hard to be humble . . . "

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Priesthood session of the October 2010 conference.

Mac Davis wrote a funny song about it being hard to be humble when you're perfect in every way. 

What's even harder than being humble is realizing that I'm guilty of the sin of pride. Some of what President Uchtdorf said in this session cut me to the core.

One of my spiritual gifts (maybe my only one) is knowledge. Somehow I just know things, or understand the scriptures, or have insights given to me and such. I'm going to substitute a word here to liken the talk to me.

We are servants of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. We are not given [knowledge] so that we can take our bows and bask in praise. We are here to roll up our sleeves and go to work. We are enlisted in no ordinary task. We are called to prepare the world for the coming of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. We seek not our own honor but give praise and glory to God. We know that the contribution we can make by ourselves is small; nevertheless, as we exercise [our knowledge] in righteousness, God can cause a great and marvelous work to come forth through our efforts. We must learn, as Moses did, that "man is nothing" by himself but that "with God all things are possible." 

I frequently wonder how I can use my gift to further the work of gathering Israel. I can't volunteer to speak in Sacrament Meeting or Stake Conference, or teach Gospel Doctrine or Seminary/Institute, that isn't the order of things in the church. I have to wait to be called to do those things. So what do I do?

President Uchtdorf says, "We don't discover humility by thinking less of ourselves; we discover humility by thinking less about ourselves. It comes as we go about our work with an attitude of serving God and our fellowman. Humility directs our attention and love toward others and to Heavenly Father's purposes. . . . The moment we stop obsessing with ourselves and lose ourselves in service, our pride diminishes and begins to die."

I'm guilty of wanting to serve in big ways, to show off my knowledge and understanding. But that's not the Lord's way. 

. . . we are tools in the hands of God. When our heart is in the right place, we do not complain that our assigned task is unworthy of our abilities. We gladly serve wherever we are asked. When we do this, the Lord can use us in ways beyond our understanding to accomplish His work.

My theme song needs to be "I'll Go Where You Want Me to Go, Dear Lord." I have a new opportunity to prove myself since we're moving to a new ward next month. I hope I can be humble, meek, and submit to the Lord's use of me and my talents. 

 

Spiritual Rocky Ridge Road

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday afternoon session of the October 2010 conference.

Elder Neil L. Andersen said, "The road of discipleship is not for the spiritually faint of heart." And I wholeheartedly concur. 

The test of mortal life is a grueling one. The only thing that makes it doable is that it is not a closed book, go it alone kind of test. We have access to the answers and guidance we need to get through. That doesn't make it easier or more fun, just more doable.

Perfection does not come in this life, but we exercise faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and keep our covenants. . . . We push our spiritual roots deep, feasting daily on the words of Christ in the scriptures. We trust in the words of living prophets, placed before us to show us the way. We pray and pray and listen to the quiet voice of the Holy Ghost that leads us along and speaks peace to our soul. Whatever challenges arise, we never, never leave Him.

 

 

  

Living Without Fear

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday morning session of the October 2010 conference.

When I was a little girl my older brothers actively worked to frighten me by telling me about monsters, then, at night, sneaking outside to tap on my window. I was petrified of being alone in the dark. It wasn't until long into adulthood that I conquered my fears. I promised that I would never knowingly tease or teach my children to be fearful, or allow them to do that to each other.

We moved to Provo when our children were 13 to 4. Our boys were active in Cub Scouts and 11 year old Scouts. They had friends who were fearful of walking down the hill from their house to ours for Scout activities. They were terrified of being kidnapped. I incredulously asked, "In Provo? Two blocks from BYU?" (This is in 2002) I wondered where they had learned to be so afraid and chalked it up to being in public school where children are routinely traumatized by everything, from weather patterns to carbohydrates, being catastrophized into huge monsters to fear. Our children were homeschooled and I kept my promise to not teach them to be fearful.

I thought about all this as I studied Sister Rosemary M. Wixom's talk "Stay on the Path".  She said, "If they understand the plan and who they are, they will not fear." I love that! 

Heavenly Father doesn't want us to go through life afraid. He watches over us like the loving parent He is. We, who know the Plan, can teach and guide our children to see mortality as a place of learning and obedience, with wonderful opportunities to experience the glories of Heavenly Father's handiwork. 

The world will teach our children if we do not, and children are capable of learning all the world will teach them at a very young age. What we want them to know five years from now needs to be part of our conversation with them today. Teach them in every circumstance; let every dilemma, every consequence, every trial that they may face provide an opportunity to teach them how to hold on to gospel truths.

My children are all adults now but I still try to teach them through my example and words. I look for ways to praise them and encourage them as they travel the path I've already been down. I want my conscience to be clear that I've done the best I could to teach them.

Elder Renlund spoke of being fearful in the most recent conference. "It is not just children who may feel this way. The best advice for her, for you, and for me is to follow the Savior's teachings. His instructions are neither mysterious nor complex. When we follow them, we do not need to fear or be anxious."

We live in the most marvelous time of all mortality! We have the most amazing conveniences and technology! We have the fullness of the Gospel of Jesus Christ with priesthood power restored, and temples dotting the land! This is not a time to be fearful, but to press forward with steadfast faith in Jesus Christ, preparing for His return in Glory. 

 

" . . . This is my voice unto all."

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the General Young Women Meeting session of the April 2010 conference.

I remembered these talks, although at the time I wasn't in Young Women, but I loved listening to the counsel and encouragement of these sessions and miss the special sessions just for women, young and old.

As I listened and studied this time around I felt that this counsel was for all of us. (See D & C 25:16) No matter how old we get, we are still young, inexperienced and learning compared to our Heavenly Father and our Savior. No mortal is too old for good advice.

Recently, I heard a reaction video to a podcast of a woman, formerly a member of the Church. As a teen she was given a For the Strength of Youth booklet and was initially excited to receive it. But upon reading it she questioned whether this list of "do's and don'ts" was all that Heavenly Father had to offer. She had deeper questions. She wondered if He really cared about "swearing, coffee, and tattoos?" In the comments I wrote that "Heavenly Father cares about obedience!" The ancient Israelites had some rather peculiar commandments too. He teaches us obedience by asking us to do, or not do, small things first, and when we prove ourselves we are then ready to take on more important covenants and commandments. 

Sister Anne M. Dibb said, ". . . avoid the temptations that surround you by strictly following the commandments." I wonder if that woman would have had a different outcome if she'd chosen to be obedient and learn line upon line, precept upon precept as she was ready to harken and understand. 

Sister Mary N. Cook advised us to "live to be worthy of the companionship of the Holy Ghost. . . . You will need that peace and assurance when Satan tries to confuse you with winds of doubt, when you are tempted to take another path, or when others are unkind or mock you for your beliefs." We stay worthy of the the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost by exercising faith in Jesus Christ to obey commandments we don't fully understand, repenting when we fall short (that's every day), and continuing to press forward. 

Women like to feel attractive. We are often hyper-focused on beauty. The internet has not helped our cause. We unfairly compare ourselves to photoshopped perfection and feel that we fall far short of an unrealistic ideal. I love what Sister Elaine Dalton has to say about a fortuitous meeting with a prophet's wife. "On that fall day in Huntsville, Utah, I was reminded of my divine identity, and I learned about what I now call 'deep beauty'--the kind of beauty that shines from the inside out. It is the kind of beauty that cannot be painted on, surgically created, or purchased. It is the kind of beauty that doesn't wash off. It is spiritual attractiveness. Deep beauty springs from virtue. It is the beauty of being chaste and morally clean. . . . It is a beauty that is earned through faith, repentance, and honoring covenants."

I don't think they coordinate their talks exactly, but I sure love how the spirit prompts them in what they say and how it all dovetails together so superbly.

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf then gave us this encouragement: "How beloved you are of your Heavenly Father. Though it may seem that you are alone, angels attend you. Though you may feel that no one can understand the depth of your despair, our Savior, Jesus Christ, understands. He suffered more than we can possibly imagine, and He did it for us. He did it for you. You are not alone."

I never cease to be amazed at how what I study is exactly what I need to hear in that moment!

Pioneer Day

Our Pioneer Journey to the Promised Land

25 May 2025

Fairmont Branch, Minnesota

 

Since I was a young child I've loved pioneer stories. It didn't matter if they were Mormon Pioneers, or another part of the westward expansion; pilgrims from England, Lehi and his family, or Israelites following Moses. I enjoyed all their stories. I tried to put myself in their place and wondered how I would feel, what I would do, if I were journeying to an unknown land. Many years ago in Washington state we endured a prolonged power outage. When it was over and the power was restored Steve gave me a Pioneerhood Award for Valiant Endurance. In the following years we have had other occasions when my pioneering skills were tested.

 

As I've matured I've realized that my beloved stories are a type, an analogy, a metaphor for my own mortal journey to a promised land. I left my known heavenly home, and am now traveling through the wilderness facing challenges of various kinds, with the goal of reaching the Celestial Kingdom, an eternal Promised Land.

 

What do we learn from these journeys, some of them recorded in scripture?

 

Out of the many, I've chosen four lessons to look at today.

 

Lesson #1 Organization is important.

An old African proverb says, "If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together." We want to go far, all the way to the Celestial Kingdom, it's important to be with the group who is going there.

When Jethro, the father-in-law of Moses, arrived on the scene and saw the Israelites lined up day and night to have an audience with the prophet he counseled Moses, "The thing that thou doest is not good. Thou wilt surely wear away. . . . Teach them ordinances and laws, and sh[ow] them the way wherein they must walk, and the work that they must do. . . . Provide out of all the people able men, such as fear God, men of truth, hating covetousness; and place such over them to be rulers of thousands, and rulers of hundreds, rulers of fifties, and rulers of tens. And let them judge the people at all seasons;" (Ex. 18:17-22)

 

Brigham Young acted similarly when organizing the saints for crossing the plains to Utah.

 

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is organized in a similar way today. Can you imagine waiting in line to be interviewed for a temple recommend with Pres. Nelson? Or to ask him for help with a financial problem? Or to request of him a priesthood blessing? It might be years before we could see him.

 

The church is well organized into Areas, Regions, Stakes, Ward or Branches, Quorums and Relief Societies, and ministering assignments. We follow the teachings and counsel of the prophet, and he leads and guides us as a whole, but the day to day journey is handled at a close to the people level.

The Lord said, "Behold, mine house is a house of order, . . . and not a house of confusion." (D&C132:8) By staying close to and within the organization of the church we receive blessings of strength and help for our journey.

 

Lesson #2 We are led by and can trust the prophet.

 

A prophet is a see-er, a watchman on the tower, a man to whom the Lord reveals His secrets. (See Amos 3:7) Sheri Dew wrote a whole book about how prophets "see around corners" and know what's coming. Since our mortal vision is best in hindsight we can look to the past for an example of the vision of prophets. In 1995 when President Gordon B. Hinckley read The Family: A Proclamation to the World, many wondered why it was needed, didn't everyone believe all those common-sense statements? Well, here we are a generation later and common sense seems to be in short supply, Satan seems to be winning, and people are very confused. We don't have to be though, we have the word of the Lord through His prophet, a strong bit of the iron rod to cling to as the mists of darkness swirl around us.

Elder Yoon Hwan Choi of the Seventy said, ". . . let us obey the leaders of the church and be like Adam, who didn't always have to know the reason why, but was just happy to be obedient." (Oct 2009)

We thank thee of God for a Prophet! Take it from an older, experienced pioneer--we can trust the prophet, he knows the way!

Lesson #3 Complaining doesn't do any good and mostly just makes the journey more miserable.

 

Up until they landed in the Promised Land, Laman and Lemuel did everything that was asked of them. They left their home in Jerusalem, they went back to get the plates, they went back to get Ishmael's family, they helped build a ship, they gathered supplies, got on the ship and set sail with the rest of the family. But they whined and complained and made trouble the entire time! They were a weighty drag on the whole expedition. I think when Nephi says, "Oh wretched man that I am, . . . because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me." he just might be thinking of the times he wanted to clobber his own brothers because they were such an impediment to peace. I know that I am often more like Laman and Lemuel than Nephi, which is why I'm so grateful for daily repentance and a patient and merciful Heavenly Father.

 

The Israelites complained and made trouble, and were punished by having to wander for FORTY years in the wilderness, until all the complainers had died, before they could enter the promised land.

The Lord commands us to "be of good cheer, for I will lead you along." (D&C 78:18)  Joseph Smith wrote the saints from Liberty Jail, ". . . let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power, and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance to see the salvation of God and for his arm to be revealed." (D&C 123:17)

We sing Come, Come Ye Saints, and Count Your Blessings. We can surely help each other with grace and humor to keep progressing forward.

 

Lesson #4 Never Give Up!

 

Can you picture yourself part of a handcart company, walking day after day, sunshine or rain, cold or heat? It's tiresome but we're moving forward toward Zion. Then an accident or an illness occurs and a loved one dies; we bury that person beside the trail, and then what? What are the options? We can keep going, on to Zion, or we can sit down and give up. A brief pause is all we get on the journey before the company leaves us behind. Remember we want to go far so we need to go together.

 

No analogy is perfect, but I can testify that whatever challenge we face we must keep pressing forward. We cannot sit down and wait until we aren't facing any challenges. Life doesn't work that way. We have to keep going to reach our Promised Land. We must endure faithfully and obediently to the end.

Two years ago, I had just conducted the first Stake Choir rehearsal the day before we found out James had taken his life. At the time I was asked if I wanted to cancel the choir. For me this was a Rocky Ridge moment. The terrain was steep, and I was weary, but I felt I had to keep going no matter what.

One of the hymns we sang was God So Loved the World. I considered that an offering of my testimony of the tender mercy of Our Father in Heaven to send His Beloved Son to rescue us from despair and death. It was a sacred, spiritual experience to lead that choir during that challenging time.

 

Brothers and Sisters, we are organized so we can keep track of and help each other on our journey. We are led by and can trust our prophet. We must be cheerful and not complain, doing all in our power to keep moving forward. And we must never give up!  

 

I know God lives, because I have come to know Him in my extremities. I know Jesus Christ is my Savior because I have felt Him lift me up when I most needed saving. I know Russell M. Nelson is the chief apostle and prophet of God today because I have studied his talks and felt the witness of the Spirit that he is the Lord's anointed servant. May we be faithful pioneers and help each other along our life's journey until we are all reunited in the Promised Land of the Celestial Kingdom.

 

In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

A Theme Emerges

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday afternoon session of the April 2010 conference.

As I reviewed this week's talks and looked at what I had underlined a theme revealed itself to me. I guess you can tell what's on your mind by what stands out in a talk.

Elder Russell M. Nelson spoke of Generations Linked in Love, saying, "While the family is under attack throughout the world, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints proclaims, promotes, and protects the truth that the family is central to the Creator's plan for the eternal destiny of His Children."

I'm reminded of the words of Nephi that when God gives a commandment He prepares a way to obey that commandment. (1 Nephi 3:7) We are commanded to be fruitful and multiply, to have a family, so Our Heavenly Father will give us the tools and help we need to be successful accomplishing that.

Elder Robert D. Hales said, "The greatest rescue, the greatest activation will be in our homes. If someone in your family is wandering in strange paths, you are a rescuer, engaged in the greatest rescue effort the Church as ever known. I testify from personal experience: There is no failure except in giving up. It is never too early or too late to begin."

Is there a family anywhere in the church who doesn't have challenges? I don't know of any. Mortal life is hard and dangerous. I love the encouragement to never give up, and that's it's not too early or too late. I think it's important to remember that our task is to provide opportunity for them to use their agency to make choices. We are not accountable for their choices, only that we gave them the knowledge and opportunity to make them. That's hard to remember because our love for our children causes us to feel like a failure when our teachings and guidance are rejected. But it's not so different from the experiences of full-time missionaries. They aren't accountable for all the rejection they experience (goodness, I hope not!), only for their effort of sharing the gospel and their testimonies.

Elder Bradley D. Foster said, "Brothers and sisters, in a world where everyone is granted agency, some of our loved one may stray for a season. But we can never give up. We must always go back for them--we must never stop trying."

Again, the assurance that we must never give up. I know from spiritual experiences with our son James, that Heavenly Father's mercy extends beyond this life; He has a plan for each of His children to have the right opportunity to repent and accept the Savior's Atonement. He wants to save all of His children!

Elder James B. Martino said, "As we pass through the trials of life, let us keep an eternal perspective, let us not complain, let us become even more prayerful, let us serve others, and let us forgive one another."

I struggled as a missionary because I wanted to do something to soften the hearts of the people and show them that we were good Christians. The missionaries today are so blessed to have the freedom to serve in the community and show their faith by their works. I know this also is effective in families. I've worked hard to show my straying children that no matter what they choose I will love them and not cut them off from my love. I have told them I don't like their choices, but I still love them because I see their goodness. (Fortunately, they are hard workers, good citizens, serving in the military, etc., they just have rejected the Gospel.)

Elder Gregory A. Schwitzer said, "Good judgement is needed not only in understanding people but also in facing decisions that often lead us to or away from our Heavenly Father. . . . A relationship of listening often requires a quiet environment in which we can take time to ponder and hear the still, small voice."

I enjoy time with my children, one on one. I like to learn about the things each is interested in and encourage them in developing their talents and interests. There is usually a way to work in a gospel lesson by analogy when conversing about the things they love. And spending time together gives the Spirit a chance to inspire me about my child. I'm not perfect, I get impatient and frustrated. I often wonder if Heavenly Father has forgotten my family. But then a tender mercy appears and I know He loves our family and wants us to succeed.

Elder Francisco J. Viñas said, "It is interesting to notice that he [Alma the Younger] taught and gave his children their charge separately, adapting his instructions to each son, according to that son's needs. He bore testimony and taught them doctrine, preparing them to teach those same principles to others."

Alma is a superb example of a good parent. He had the power of discernment and used it to better understand each son (and hopefully his daughters). We parents often lament that our children don't come with instructions manuals. However, we can go directly to their maker for understanding and guidance. While raising our five I often prayed to know how to teach them and train them. The answers came! I could have done better, I suppose, but I did the best I could in the circumstances I was. 

Elder Neil L. Andersen said, ". . . my counsel is to speak more frequently about Jesus Christ. In His holy name is great spiritual power. . . . If a child is not listening, don't despair. Time and truth are on your side. At the right moment, your words will return as if from heaven itself. Your testimony will never leave your children."

One day I asked my children if they could tell what was most important in my life. "Yes, mom, the gospel," was their unanimous answer. Good, I was doing something right! I hope they will have called up to their minds my testimony and example when they most need it and are ready to return to the fold of the Savior.

And finally, President Thomas S. Monson said, " I urge you to study the messages, to ponder their teachings, and then to apply them in your life."

This is important advice for parents! (And other family members) Reviewing the past talks has strengthened me as much as reading The Book of Mormon. The talks given in our day are the equivalent of the sermons recorded in scriptures. They are relevant to the times and circumstances in which we live, and are in language and analogy that we can clearly understand. I don't feel complete without listening to and reading a conference talk or two each day.

Actions Speak Louder than Words

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday morning session of the April 2010 conference.

My husband and I speak different love languages. His language is Words of Affirmation, and mine is Acts of Service. To me talk is cheap, unless followed by action. He feels neglected if I don't speak my feelings, not seeing all of my actions as expressions of love. We struggle to communicate.

President Uchtdorf said, "True love requires action. We can speak of love all day long--we can write notes or poems that proclaim it, sing songs that praise it, and preach sermons that encourage it--but until we manifest that love in action, our words are nothing but 'sounding brass or a tinkling cymbal.' . . . Christ did not just speak about love, He showed it each day of His life."

I think we need to become multi-lingual in love languages but if we are following the example of our Savior, acts of service, which is a form of gift giving (another love language), can express love in practical, measurable, demonstrable ways.

Service is usually not convenient, easy, or quick. It can be, but the most meaningful service often takes thought and preparation, or is terribly inconvenient. I think that is why we are encouraged to visit each other as part of ministering. By spending time with you in your home I can see, hear, and discern needs or wants. Our son James was especially good at that. He paid attention to what I would casually mention in conversation, and the next holiday (Christmas, birthday, Mother's Day) I'd get the very thing I'd mentioned. I miss him! He listened, and at every meal he ate at my house after he'd left home, he would help clear the table and then help with doing the dishes. His love language seemed to be Service and Gifts too. At least he learned those languages and spoke them fluently.

The Primary song, "I'm trying to be like Jesus" is instructive of what we're striving for, to show kindness is all that we do and say. President Nelson's call for peacemakers is another way to show love and be like the Savior. It all fits together. 

Counsel from the First Presidency

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Priesthood session of the April 2010 conference.

Even though I study the gospel every day I have felt my spirituality draining away for reasons that I don't fully understand. Have I had such powerful experiences in the past that I don't feel anything less than that? Are there sins I need to repent of? (Yes, always.) Am I being tested further? (Probably, of course.) Am I studying or doing the wrong things, or for the wrong reasons? (I don't know.)

I'm glad that I am studying the past General Conferences as their messages seem tailor made for my situation today. How does that work?

The talks by the First Presidency were especially meaningful to me. Even though they were speaking to the men of the church I could feel that their counsel applied almost equally to the women. At least to this woman.

President Uchtdorf talked about continuing in patience. We are in the midst of a move at the moment and life feels rather unsettled, because it actually is. I can't see the end of this situation and have to go forward with faith in every footstep.  

He says, "From that experience, I learned that patience is far more than simply waiting for something to happen--patience required actively working toward worthwhile goals and not getting discouraged when results didn't appear instantly or without effort. . . . Patience means actively waiting and enduring. It means staying with something and doing all that we can--working, hoping, exercising faith, bearing hardship with fortitude, even when the desires of our hearts are delayed. Patience is not simply enduring; it is enduring well."

I'm revisiting the lesson that I often have to take a step forward without knowing the next step. 

I know for sure that the promises of the Lord, if perhaps not always swift, are always certain. . . . Often we can't see the Lord's hand in our lives until long after trials have passed. 

I think that will prove to be true of the trials I am going through right now. There is a purpose, which I can't see, for the things that are happening. My job is to be faithful no matter what.

 

 Patience is truly a fruit of the Spirit. Patience means staying with something until the end. [I always think of pregnancy] It means delaying immediate gratification for future blessings. It means reining in anger and holding back the unkind word. It means resisting evil, even it appears to be making others rich.

I am learning that patience is an important Godly virtue. Heavenly Father is eternally patient with me in my weakness and stumbling. I must learn to be patient with others, and with circumstances outside of my control, enduring faithfully and actively until I receive the promised blessings.

President Eyring continued the theme with a talk about acting in all diligence. He said, "When I find myself drawn away from my [Relief Society] duties by other interests and when my body begs for rest, I give to myself this rallying cry: Remember Him. . . . He taught us a lesson by what He did in three days in the spirit world before His Resurrection, which I remember whenever I am tempted to feel that I have finished some hard task in His service and deserve a rest." 

I'll be sixty-eight this year, part of my brain says it is time to retire, but hearing the Apostles speak reminds me that they don't get to retire and they are a decade or two or three older than me! 

I close now with this counsel to the Lord's [Relief Society] servants. Ponder deeply and diligently in the scriptures and in the words of living prophets. Persist in prayer for the Holy Ghost to reveal to you the nature of God the Father and His Beloved Son. Plead that the Spirit will show you what the Lord wants you to do. Plan to do it. Promise Him to obey. Act with determination until you have done what He asked. And then pray to give thanks for the opportunity to serve and to know what you might do next.

I now have my instructions!

President Monson added to the theme with Preparation Brings Blessings. He said, "Let us consider our callings, let us reflect on our responsibilities, and let us follow Jesus Christ, our Lord."

Right now I don't have any formal callings because we've had our records transferred to our new branch. No matter, I'm still under covenant to share the gospel, serve my fellowman, and be an example of the believer. We have new neighbors just behind us. They are a lovely family and I've already had opportunities to serve them, and they me. I'm sad we can't stay and enjoy their friendship longer. I hope for a way and opportunity to share the gospel with them.

President Monson addresses an issue in 2010 that I've seen recently on social media regarding member's dress and grooming. He said, "The way you dress sends messages about yourself to others and often influences the way you and others act. Dress in such a way to bring out the best in yourself and those around you. Avoid extremes in clothing and appearance, including tattoos and piercings."

I've never heard any of the apostles rescind what President Hinckley taught about tattoos and piercings in 2000, but there seems to be a whole lot of people who think it is okay. I know we're expected to be accepting and give grace to converts who didn't know any better. But perhaps we could rewatch his address from 2000 (isn't it wonderful to have access to past talks) to educate those who are like the little children of King Benjamin's time and didn't hear or understand the prophet's counsel.

One line in particular stood out to me from President Monson's talk. He said, "Remember that prayer is the passport to spiritual power." That hit me hard because I realized prayer is what I'm struggling with the most. 

When I was raising our five children I had rules we followed when going shopping. Because we homeschooled I took our five everywhere with me. Two of the rules were: 1) Stay by Mom, close enough to touch her; 2) No whining or begging. Number 2 was in case they asked for something and I said no, or not today. I didn't want to negotiate or listen to them whining and begging. Because of that rule I've wondered and pondered, does Heavenly Father feel the same way when I ask for something over and over again? Am I whining and begging? I often think, well, I've asked once and He knows what I asked for, if He's ready to give it to me it will happen, if not, okay, He knows best. This is a struggle for me, and I want to understand and do and be better.

I know that my Heavenly Father loves me because He sends me little messages through His Apostles that answer questions and concerns I have. We are richly blessed when we study their words.

 

 

Not So Random Thoughts

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday afternoon session of the April 2010 conference.

Elder L. Tom Perry - The leaders of the Church spend a great deal of time thinking about how to improve teaching in the Church. Why do we invest this time and effort? It is because we believe in the immense power of teaching to increase the faith of individuals and strengthen families.

During my service as a Relief Society president I asked the Branch President if we could use the Sunday School time for all of the adults in the branch to participate in the teacher improvement course. His response was that he couldn't stop the whole branch to do that. He felt that too many of the adults would never become stellar teachers. I said that probably was true but they could become better students, better Sacrament Meeting speakers, and better Family Home Evening leaders in their own homes. Nope, he wouldn't consent to do it. So we plowed on ahead with untrained, inadequate teachers in just about every class. I felt so bad that he didn't see the value of "sharpening the saw" in the branch.

Elder D. Todd Christofferson - The word of God, as Alma said, is like a seed planted in our hearts that produces faith as it begins to grow within us (See Alma 32:27-43; see also Romans 10:13-17). Faith will not come from the study of ancient texts as a purely academic pursuit. It will not come from archaeological digs and discoveries. It will not come from scientific experiments. It will not even come from witnessing miracles. These things may serve to confirm faith, or at times to challenge it, but they do not create faith. Faith comes by the witness of the Holy Spirit to our souls, Spirit to spirit, as we hear or read the word of God. And faith matures as we continue to feast upon the word.

In my life I had some wonderful teachers to ignite my love of the gospel through the scriptures, beginning with my father and grandfather. Seminary and Institute teachers guided my study for a half dozen years before I served a mission and delved deeper into the word of God each day in preparation for teaching it to others. Before I ever heard Elder Bednar teach it, I found patterns and connections in the scriptures that spoke to my heart and I felt the confirmation of the Spirit of their truthfulness.

Elder Bruce A. Carlson - . . . strict obedience to God's laws brings His blessings and failure to abide by His laws leads to foreseeable consequences. . . . faithful obedience, regardless of the apparent size of the task, will bring the Lord's guidance, assistance and peace.

We are commanded to study the scriptures and teach them to one another. Is it any wonder that the Church invests time and effort to help us? Why are local leaders to reluctant to utilize the help available and more firmly encourage improvement? I do not understand it.

Elder David A. Bednar - Such learning requires spiritual, mental, and physical exertion and not just passive reception. . . . What a glorious opportunity for family members to search the scriptures together and to be tutored by the Holy Ghost. . . . The spiritual discernment and inspiration you will receive from the combination of these three holy habits [Reading and talking about the Book of Mormon, Bearing testimony spontaneously, Inviting children to act] will enable you to stand as watchmen on the tower for your families--"watching. . . with all perseverance" (Ephesians 6:18)--to the blessing of your immediate family and your future posterity.

Oh how we need to be better learners and teachers. Many come to church hungering and thirsting for doctrine as well as strength and fellowship. I know I do! I don't want gospel "twinkies", I want a rich spread to feast upon and discuss with others as we share our insights, testimonies, and experiences.

Built Upon A Rock

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday morning session of the April 2010 conference.

A few weeks ago I gave a talk comparing our mortal journey toward the Celestial Kingdom to past "pioneer" journeys such as Moses and the children of Israel, Lehi and his family, and westward expansion pioneers including the famous Mormon Pioneers.

No analogy is perfect, but I can testify that whatever challenge we face we must keep pressing forward. We cannot sit down and wait until we aren't facing any challenges. Life doesn't work that way. We have to keep going to reach our Promised Land. We must endure faithfully and obediently to the end. (From my talk, 25 May 2025)

This past week has tested my resolve! The clutch on my car burned out. The tender mercy was that it happened just as I rolled into the Walmart parking lot a couple of blocks from the dealership. I got the car towed to the service department and they accepted it but they couldn't even look at it until a week later. The tender mercy was that they had a loaner I could use. On the same day, my husband fell down the stairs at the house he's working on in Iowa, twisting his ankle and getting banged up. That put a hold on the furniture moving we had planned for the weekend. Then on Saturday night in the midst of a heat wave with day time temps in the high 90's the air conditioning stopped working. I melted into a puddle on Sunday, but the tender mercy was that on Monday the temperature moderated and a lovely breeze blew all the hot air out of the house. Tuesday, as I type this, it's even cooler with a stronger breeze. Thankfully, we have ceiling fans in all the rooms.

All of this combined to discourage me and I've cried lots of tears. I won't go into all the other problems I'm facing just now. But it's overwhelming.

I appreciated Elder Wilford. W. Andersen's talk The Rock of Our Redeemer. He described the early saints as they were forced out of the homes in Nauvoo in the depths of winter.

These early Saints were indeed homeless, but they were not hopeless. Their hearts were broken, but their spirits were strong. They had learned a profound and important lesson. They had learned that hope, with its attendant blessings of peace and joy, does not depend upon circumstance. They had discovered that the true source of hope is faith--faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and in His infinite Atonement, the one sure foundation upon which to build our lives.

Yes, I have learned to rely on my Savior too. I can't see the future, but I have assurances that it will all work out. "I do not ask to see the distant scene--one step enough for me."(Hymn 97 Lead Kindly Light)

Like the pioneers of old, I can't sit by waiting for things to happen. I have to keep moving forward, doing what I can and having faith that the next step will be revealed to me.

 

Faith in the Savior requires more than mere belief. The Apostle James taught that even the devils believe and tremble (James 2:9). But true faith requires work. The difference between the devils and the faithful members of this Church is not belief but work. Faith grows by keeping commandments. We must work at keeping the commandments.

The commandment I'm currently working on has to do with praying with more faith and fervor. I struggle to reconcile my desire to ask for things, and my hesitancy to "whine and beg". While raising our children I would tell them not to whine and beg for things. I heard them the first time and when the time was right, if the request was reasonable, I would provide. If I said no, then I really didn't want to hear any whining and begging. I don't know if Heavenly Father feels the same way. Or am I supposed to keep pleading until He gives in? I don't want to be like Martin Harris. It's a question that I haven't found an answer to.

I do know that it is my Savior, Redeemer and Friend who is my Rock; the one I cling to when the storms are fierce around me. He is the One I turn to for succor and relief when the trials are overwhelming. He is my comfort when tears spill down without ceasing. He is who I have build the foundation of my life on. He is the only one who has never let me down, or frustrated or disappointed me. I love Him with all my heart and soul and mind and strength.  

 

Relief Society: A Sacred Work

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the General Relief Society Meeting of the October 2009 conference.

Julie B. Beck is my favorite Relief Society General President because she is a woman after my own heart, prioritizing motherhood and home.

She quotes from the First Presidency in 1942, the occasion of the centennial of the Relief Society:

Members [of Relief Society] should permit neither hostile nor competitive interests of any kind to detract from the duties and obligations, the privileges and honors, the opportunities and achievements of membership in this great Society.

I grew up watching my mother and grandmother attend and participate in Relief Society. I wanted to be there too because I thought that was where the action was. They got things done! They learned things. They made things. They served others all the time. Or so it seemed to me. Relief Society seemed so important to them and they had deep relationships with their sisters. 

I so looked forward to becoming an adult sister in the gospel so I could fully participate in Relief Society. While I served as a missionary (1979-80) the church did away with the mid-week meetings and Relief Society became a Sunday meeting with a once a month homemaking night. I felt so cheated!

The once a month meeting went through several permutations and at this meeting Sister Beck retired the cumbersome name, Home, Family and Personal Enrichment, simplifying it to simply calling the meeting a Relief Society meeting, and by whatever it consisted of--service, classes, projects, conferences, or workshops.

I especially appreciate the instruction she gives about what these meetings should be.  

Under the direction of the bishop, the ward Relief Society presidency can use these meetings to address the spiritual and temporal needs of individuals and families in the ward and to strengthen sisterhood and unity. . . . This is where they learn and practice skills that will help them increase their faith and personal righteousness, strengthen families and homes, and provide service to those in need.

This is what I think my grandmother's and mother's generations did so well! I wish every Relief Society presidency could experience the true vision of Relief Society. I attended one ward in Arkansas last year that seemed to be the closest I'd seen in over fifteen years. (I'd love to move to that ward!)

Sister Sylvia H. Allred, First Counselor to Sister Beck, said, "Your attendance at Relief Society Sunday meetings will bless you, but your participation in the work of Relief Society will bless the whole church."

The whole church, in fact, the whole world needs the blessings of the work of Relief Society. 

Choice and Accountability

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday afternoon session of the October 2009 conference.

One of my pet peeves is members of the church who speed, never allowing enough time to drive somewhere at or below the posted speed limit. I find it rather disingenuous to pray for safe travels and then break the laws. I wonder how members can use justifications to break the speed limit laws that would sound comical to justify breaking other laws or commandments. "Well, I'm just stealing a candy bar, not a television." "I'm just having a little bit of coffee, it's mostly milk." "It's just one cigarette when I'm feeling really stressed." 

In Elder Quentin L. Cook's talk, Stewardship--A Sacred Trust, he says, "This feeling of accountability, which is encompassed by the first great commandment to love God, has been described by some as 'obedience to the unenforceable.' We try to do what is right because we love and want to please our Father in Heaven, not because someone is forcing us to obey." Isn't that how speed laws are? They are rarely enforced, we obey them because we want to be safe, and found on the right side of the law. How much more important are the commandments, especially the ones that will let us into or keep us out of the temple.

Elder Cook tells the story of his grandfather returning to his ranch in his old age to find that the fences protecting the spring had deteriorated and cattle had gotten into the spring and polluted it. The grandfather felt terrible that he hadn't been able to keep up what he felt was his stewardship to protect that source of pure water. Because of the grandpa's reaction to the polluted spring, action was taken to renew the fences and put in place protections to return the spring to its original loveliness and purity.

Elder Cook says, "I would suggest that if we think about giving an accounting of our actions to the Savior, our rationalizations will be seen in their true light."

Elder D. Todd Christofferson's talk, Moral Discipline had similar themes. He said, "Moral discipline is the consistent exercise of agency to choose the right because it is right, even when it is hard."

Exceeding the speed limit is not necessarily a moral issue, except if you think about the example you are setting for your children. Especially if you think about saying to them at the time they get their driver's license--do as I say not as I do, because the insurance cost will skyrocket if you get a ticket.

If we are faithful in small things we are practicing to be faithful and obedient in larger things, especially in the arena of moral choices. 

Elder Christofferson told about President James E. Faust standing before a board of inquiry when he applied to officer candidate school and being asked "In times of war should not the moral code be relaxed? Does not the stress of battle justify men in doing things that they would not do when at home under normal situations?" And his answer, "I do not believe there is a double standard of morality."

Elder Christofferson ended with this timely counsel. "We cannot presume that the future will resemble the past--that things and patterns we have relied upon economically, politically, socially will remain as they have been. Perhaps our moral discipline, if we will cultivate it, will have an influence for good and inspire others to pursue the same course. We may thereby have an impact on future trends and events. At a minimum, moral discipline will be of immense help to us as we deal with whatever stresses and challenges may come in a disintegrating society."

Looking around at the world today we can see how our choices can either draw others to Christ or turn them away. There is no middle ground anymore. We can be moral beacons to guide others to the safety of the Gospel.