Teaching to Understand

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday morning session of the April 2012 General Conference.

My mom worked as a secretary at an adult night school until I was about eight or nine. We had dinner at 5:00 each night and then she would leave to go to work. My older siblings would clean up from dinner, and then at bedtime dad would put my younger brother and I to bed. He was never as gentle and kind as my mom. When I was eight or nine, the bishop counseled my parents that my mother should quit work and stay home as my older siblings were teens and needed her home more than we needed any money she was earning. My parents obeyed that counsel and she found other ways to bring in a little money to help the family budget.

Before I married I made sure that my husband knew that when I became a mother I'd stay home and raise our children. He didn't think we could make it on one income, but I assured him that I knew how to do it. I worked until about six weeks before our first child was born. Then again when she was 19 I took a job because my husband had lost his and we needed some income. Those two years I worked were some of the worst ever.

Sister Cheryl A. Esplin, Second Counselor in the Primary General Presidency, talked about teaching children to not only know the doctrine but, as we are instructed in Doctrine and Covenants 68:25, to understand the doctrine.

She tells a wonderful story of her daughter and granddaughter's experience with a teaching moment, then says, "These moments are spontaneous and unplanned and happen in the normal flow of family life. They come and go quickly, so we need to be alert and recognize a teaching moment when our children come to us with a question or worry, when they have problems getting along with siblings or friends, when they need to control their anger, when they make a mistake, or when they need to make a decision."

Because of a confluence of forces today there are very few stay-at-home mothers. Women are stretched to the breaking point with being a wife, mother, homemaker and breadwinner. Families allow or encourage their children to be in so many after school activities that there is little to no time for parents to pick up on those spontaneous and unplanned teaching moments. If they do recognize them, most are too tired and stressed to act upon them. 

I don't know what the answer is for each individual, that will require individuals, couples and families to study, ponder and pray about their situation; but I'm sure grateful my mother was obedient to the counsel to stay home.

Sister Esplin explains, "We can know our children are beginning to understand the doctrine when we see it revealed in their attitudes and actions without external threats or rewards. As our children learn to understand gospel doctrines, they become more self-reliant and more responsible. They become part of the solution to our family challenges and make a positive contribution to the environment of our home and the success of our family."

That sounds wonderful.   

Don't Forget

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the General Relief Society session of the October 2011 conference.

It seems appropriate at this Christmas season to quote from President Uchtdorf's talk:

If you will only allow His divine love into your life, it can dress any wound, heal any hurt, and soften any sorrow.

The gift of Jesus Christ is the best, most precious gift of all eternity. 

 

The Songs They Could Not Sing

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday afternoon session of the October 2011 conference.

Elder Quentin L. Cook's talk in this session touched my heart and brought tears to my eyes. About a year ago I was pouring out my heart to God and pleading for understanding about what I should do, why I felt like such a failure in life, and just generally wanted some relief from the sorrows I felt. Into my mind came a thought, "Give yourself some grace, you've had a hard life."  That had never occurred to me before. That I'd been given a hard life. I knew that moments have been difficult, but I chalked it up mostly to my own choices. I never thought that Heavenly Father was giving me challenges, but it makes sense overall.

Elder Cook says, "While we do not know all the answers, we do know important principles that allow us to face tragedies with faith and confidence that there is a bright future planned for each of us."

That is so comforting! 

Elder Cook outlines three of the important principles that can help us navigate life.

First, we have a Father in Heaven who knows and loves us personally and understands our suffering perfectly.

Second, His Son, Jesus Christ, is our Savior and Redeemer, whose Atonement not only provides for salvation and exaltation but also will compensate for all the unfairness of life.

Third, the Father's plan of happiness for His children includes not only a premortal and mortal life, but also an eternal life as well, including a great and glorious reunion with those we have lost. All wrongs will be righted, and we will see with perfect clarity and faultless perspective and understanding.

At the final interview with my mission president I expressed that I felt somewhat of a failure because all of the people I taught who chose to be baptized were in the first half of my mission. What happened to my success? Why no baptisms in the second half? He lovingly explained that there are more ways to measure success than just the number of baptisms. He told me that he had given me companions who wanted to go home, but I helped them stay and be successful. (I thought I was the one who wanted to go home!) It was rather eye-opening to me. Perhaps that is what it will be like when we are with Our Father in Heaven and we finally understand all that we went through.

Elder Cook said, We are unaware of hosts of blessings that we receive from day to day. It is extremely important that we have a spirit of gratitude in our hearts. 

The challenges we face in life give us a chance to prove to ourselves and God that we will be faithful no matter what. Paul wrote to the Thessalonians, "In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." (1 Thes. 5:18) EVERYTHING! Not just the good times, the obvious blessings, but when we are being buffeted and challenged, when we can't see clearly the outcome, or when there is no end in sight. That's not easy to do. But Paul also wrote to the Corinthians "Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him." (1 Cor. 2:9)

I await the day when I'll be reunited with our son who left too soon, and didn't finish his songs. Yep, life is hard, but that's the nature of learning and being tested. I want to pass this test!

Elder Cook ended with, "The Savior said, 'Therefore, let your hearts be comforted. . . . Be still and know that I am God.' We have His promise that we with our children will sing 'songs of everlasting joy.'"

The Book of Mormon

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday morning session of the October 2011 conference.

My grandpa, Joseph Smith Wilson*, was a Book of Mormon scholar. Not formally trained, but had studied the book since he was young, been taught by the Spirit and by the time I knew him could answer any gospel question from the pages of the Book of Mormon; in fact, he would say, "Well, the answer to that is on page __ ." (He was a bit lost when the new edition came out in 1980.)

My dad knew the Book of Mormon quite well too, although he knew it by chapter and verse, not page number. We read the Book of Mormon many times through while I was growing up. I don't remember a time when I didn't know it was true. I've never questioned it at all, ever.

Elder Tad R. Callister's talk The Book of Mormon--a Book from God resonated with me because of my deep love of that book.

I know the Book of Mormon is exactly what Joseph Smith claimed it to be. I know it is a true record of the ancient inhabitants of America including the visit of the resurrected Jesus Christ. Every prophet in it testifies of Jesus as our Savior and Redeemer. We are taught His Gospel and about His Atonement for us in wonderfully clear language.

I can't imagine my life without it. Joseph Smith was right when he said that a man [or woman] could get nearer to God reading this book than any other. It has certainly been true in my life.

 *He was named for the Prophet Joseph Smith because he was born one day before the prophet's birthday and his mother had asked God for a son promising to name him for the prophet and send him to Zion, from Scotland, when he was of age.

Testimony

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Priesthood session of the October 2011 conference.

Elder Kevin G. Brown's talk from the most recent General Conference has been an internet sensation for his fervent, fiery delivery. Last week in Relief Society we studied that talk and the teacher said that she had met Elder Brown some years ago when her family went to Jamaica to pick up a brother from his mission. She said that Elder Brown was just as intense and passionate in real life as he was in conference.

Two things that President Monson said in his talk "Dare to Stand Alone" brought to my mind Elder Brown's talk.

In order for us to be strong and to withstand all the forces pulling us in the wrong direction or all the voices encouraging us to take the wrong path, we must have our own testimony.

 May each of us who holds the priesthood of God [or is a disciple of Jesus Christ] know what he believes.

We can't be strong enough to make it through life leaning on someone else's knowledge and testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. We have to put in the work ourselves to grow our own knowledge and testimony.

Watching YouTube fitness videos and listening to my son talk about the benefits of nutrition and exercise is wonderful, but it doesn't help me. I need to do the work myself of choosing the right foods in the right amounts, and getting in the right amounts and kinds of movements to change my body. He can't do it for me. (Darn!)

Sister Julie B. Beck said, "Insight found in the scripture accumulates over time, so it is important to spend some time in the scriptures every day." And General Conference talks qualify as scripture. My study doesn't really help anyone else's knowledge and testimony either. We each have to fill our lamps and oil vessels drop by drop over time. There's no way to "download" knowledge and testimony in a few minutes. Or to think of it another way, we don't get through life starving our bodies all week and gorging on Sunday. We eat every day to maintain health and strength. We need to be "eating" our spiritual food daily too. 

Another little tidbit I notice in each and every conference is that the speakers says things like "in these trying times", "in these perilous times", or similar phrases. And I think to myself, when has life ever not been trying or perilous, or economically hard, or morally easy. This life is a test of our obedience and commitment to following the Savior. Satan wants us to fail and works tirelessly to do so. Of course life is hard! But we can be strong and pass the test by taking our spiritual vitamins daily, exercising our faith in Jesus Christ daily, and enduring faithfully to the end.

 

 

 

The Divine Gift of Repentance

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday afternoon session of the October 2011 conference.

Have you ever felt personal stagnation? As if you're not moving forward. I have. My current, and most recent situation has been one of going through the motions, simply doing what I know I should because my mission president (Elder LeGrand R. Curtis Sr.) taught us that if our body is where it should be, doing what it should do, then our spirit will catch up to where our body is. I think he was expanding on what President Brigham Young said about getting on your knees and praying until you felt like praying.

As I listened to and read Elder (now President) D. Todd Christofferson's talk I knew that I need to repent. His talk touched me deeply (I've always liked his talks) and I felt the Spirit prompting me to act on what he was teaching.

His five fundamental aspects of this fundamental gospel principle were, as he hoped, extremely helpful to me.

First, the invitation to repent is an expression of love. This resonated with me from the perspective of a mother. I wanted my children to repent of their deliberate wrong doings because I loved them and wanted our home to be calm, peaceful and filled with love. No doubt Father feels similarly. He is not a tyrannical dictator demanding compliance to abstract laws. He loves us and wants His home and family to be calm, orderly, peaceful and filled with love for each other.

Second, repentance means striving to change. Feeling sorry, even saying I'm sorry is not enough. That's the beginning. I have to act and be different the next time, and continuing into the future. Elder Christofferson's words were so instructive and encouraging: ". . . we seek His grace to complement and reward our most diligent efforts." And, ". . .We should pray for time and opportunity to work and strive and overcome." When I was a teen wondering what the purpose of life was, an answer came as our family read The Book of Mormon, in Alma 42:4, "And thus we see, that there was a time granted unto man to repent, yea, a probationary time, a time to repent and serve God." But I'd never thought about praying for more time and opportunity. Perhaps it's just because I'm getting older (68 in December) that I hope I'm not going to run out of time.

Third, repentance means not only abandoning sin but also committing to obedience. Nature abhors a vacuum so one thing, the sin, must be replaced with another, or we fall right back into the sin. Of course I'd like to ask Father why good habits are so hard to establish and easy to break, while bad habits are so easy to establish and so difficult to break. Is this simply part of our mortal testing? Opposition in all things? A strengthening process, sort of like weight lifting? All of the above? I long for a face to face conversation with my Father in Heaven. This I do know, that sinful habits and behaviors have to be replaced with obedience to the commandments and righteous habits. And it's often just hard work, like lifting weights. But it gets easier and more automatic the longer it's done. Which is why, even when feeling stagnant, I've continued to read the scriptures and General Conference talks daily. It's a habit (thank goodness, finally) and I hoped at some point for my spirit to catch up.

Fourth, repentance requires a seriousness of purpose and a willingness to persevere, even through pain. I'll continue the weight lifting analogy a bit. One of our sons is a serious weight lifter. He's been doing it for about a decade now. He says that he is always sore somewhere, but that is how muscle growth occurs, lifting to failure, and then resting for growth; rotating which area of the body gets worked daily. Repentance and obedience will cause discomfort, even pain as I change from a natural man/woman to a saint through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. It is comforting, though, to realize that the pain of repentance is minimal compared to the pain of suffering for our own sins. The price has been paid, we have been redeemed, if we willingly repent and accept the gift.

Fifth, whatever the cost of repentance, it is swallowed up in the joy of forgiveness. This brings us full circle to the love of God the Father and Jesus Christ. They want us to repent, and readily forgive when we do so because They love us!! When we feel their love in the form of forgiveness we experience a joyful relief and a loving connection restored or deepened. 

I doubt that anyone reading this blog is guilty of any great big malignant sin, but we are all guilty of little faults and failings, shortcomings and transgressions. I realized that by letting mine accumulate, I let the stagnation set in, which is why this talk touched my heart. I've needed a direct call to repentance and reminder of the fact that it isn't punishment, but a divine gift to restore me to and deepen my connection to my Father in Heaven, and my Savior Jesus Christ.

I was pleased when Elder Christofferson was called to the First Presidency. His talks are so wonderful, clear and direct and loving. 

You Matter to Him!

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday morning session of the October 2011 conference.

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf's address touched my heart deeply. The past several years have been so hard for me. All of our children are gone and settled into their own lives. My identity as a mother is no longer my primary role. Being a Nana is a part-time gig, and I have no church calling presently. Who am I? Do I matter anymore? Even my husband has come out of retirement and begun teaching again, giving him instant identity and status, leaving me feeling even more alone.

What mattered to Him was that I was doing the best I could, that my heart was inclined toward Him, and that I was willing to help those around me. I knew if I did the best I could, all would be well! And all was well.

That soothed my heart and calmed my soul. It's so reassuring to be reminded of my eternal worth and value. 

Disciples of Jesus Christ understand that compared to eternity, our existence in this mortal sphere is only a "small moment" in space and time. They know that a person's true value has little to do with what the world holds in high esteem. They know you could pile up the accumulated currency of the entire world and it would not buy a loaf of bread in the economy of heaven.

The world doesn't hold wives, mothers and homemakers in high esteem. But that is precisely what is most important in the eternal scheme of things, so this was also comforting. I never cease to be amazed at how General Conference talks speak to my soul no matter when I read them: at the time they're given, for the next six months, or years later. It just proves to me that gospel principles are truly eternal, the Spirit knows what we need to hear, and studying the conference talks is never in vain or time wasted.

President Uchtdorf reminds us that "Another way Satan deceives is through discouragement. He attempts to focus our sight on our own insignificance until we begin to doubt that we have much worth. He tells us that we are too small for anyone to take notice, that we are forgotten--especially by God." That is precisely what had happened to me. I have felt so forgotten and useless. But I've been reminded that God does indeed have a plan for me, and that I can assist in His work. 

During this month of Thanksgiving I acknowledge that I'm so grateful for prophets and apostles who deliver God's personal messages to us.

Guardians of Virtue

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the General Young Women Meeting of the April 2011 conference.

If my calculations are correct then the young women attending and viewing this session are now between 26 and 33 years old. I hope most are married and mothers. I know that some won't be, I have a 36 year old daughter who has never had the opportunity to marry and have children though she would love that blessing.

 

These talks were so encouraging to even me, a "little old lady" in the autumn of life. Wouldn't it be wonderful for those girls to hear or read them again and be reminded of all that was said.

 

Sister Elaine S. Dalton is special to me because of the way she greeted me with a hug, as if we were best friends, prior to a regional Young Women morning devotional in Omaha, Nebraska.  She made me feel special and important and I was in my fifties having driven some young women from our branch to the meeting.

 

One thing I've learned as I've lived into my seventh decade, is that each generation lives in what seems to be the most wicked times. And for that generation it is! No generation has had it easy, without challenges and struggles. Mortality is hard, but it's supposed to be; after all, it is a test.

 

Young women, in a world ever growing in moral pollution, tolerance of evil, exploitation of women, and distortion of roles, you must stand guard of yourself, your family, and all those with whom you associate. You must be guardians of virtue.

 

Being a guardian of virtue means you will always be modest not only in your dress but also in your speech, your actions, and your use of social media.

 

For mothers listening tonight [and these young women, now grown up], you are your daughters' most important example of modesty and virtue--thank you. Never hesitate to teach them that they are royal daughters of God and that their value is not based on their sensual appeal. And let them see your belief modeled correctly and consistently in your own personal attitude and appearance. You are also guardians of virtue.

 

When we were praying about homeschooling in 1994 I received an unexpected answer. I was told that we needed to know how to homeschool because in the future it would not be safe to send covenant children to public schools. I have seen that answer fulfilled year after year. Whether or not you homeschool, we all need to stand as guardians of godly virtues and be a light to the increasingly wicked world. Modest, virtuous young women and young men are especially needed lights to those who are seeking a better way to live but haven't been taught in their own homes.

 

Building our life upon the rock of our Redeemer is the only sure way to stand firm in keeping covenants, obeying commandments and withstanding temptations. As the gulf between good and evil deepens and widens let's be found on the right side, the Lord's side, safely anchored in His teachings, ordinances and covenants.

Parental Correction

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday afternoon session of the April 2011 conference.

I've long believed that parents need to teach two important things to their babies, toddlers and children: the word NO, and obedience without negotiation. There are many ways to do this because there are many personalities of children, but those who don't learn those two things have lots of trouble in life.

By "parental correction" I mean a parent noticing the child doing something wrong and correcting the child and leading them to do the right thing. Acknowledging that we have standards in our homes and expecting children to attempt to the best of their abilities to live up to those standards makes life better, more peaceful, more abundant.

Elder D. Todd Christofferson said, "Our Heavenly Father is a God of high expectations."  He knows who He wants us to be and provides ways for us to be transformed. "He knows what is required, and so, to make our transformation possible, He provides His commandments and covenants, the gift of the Holy Ghost, and most important, the Atonement and Resurrection of His Beloved Son." 

Our own little children don't know enough to ask for correction; we usually have to just give it to them, teaching and training them in the ways of the Lord and our home. 

We as adults though, know enough from gospel study and living to know when we are falling short of the Father's high expectations. Elder Christofferson says, "I would like to speak of one particular attitude and practice we need to adopt if we are to meet our Heavenly Father's high expectations. It is this: willingly to accept and even seek correction."

I know this is scary--what if I have to give up something that I really enjoy (perhaps my favorite sin), or do something that is uncomfortable, or causes feelings of embarrassment or vulnerability? I don't think I've asked because I'm afraid of what the answer might be.

Though it is often difficult to endure, truly we ought to rejoice that God considers us worth the time and trouble to correct.

 Divine chastening has at least three purposes: (1) to persuade us to repent, (2) to refine and sanctify us, and (3) at times to redirect our course in life to what God knows is a better path.

All of those are good reasons! Elder Christofferson repeats what Elder Johnson said in the Sunday morning session, "we should take care not to resent the very things that help us put on the divine nature."

This promise is comforting, "If we sincerely desire and strive to measure up to the high expectations of our Heavenly Father, He will ensure that we receive all the help we need, whether it be comforting, strengthening, or chastening."

Why do I ever doubt that my loving Father in Heaven will do whatever He can or needs to, to help me return to Him in our heavenly home? He's a better parent than I am and I can trust Him to give me what I need to become who I am supposed to be. 

 

Hear Him!

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday morning session of the April 2011 conference.

One of President Nelson's admonitions was to "Hear Him" especially as we made Jesus the focus of our lives, and let God prevail. Elder Uchtdorf's talk has some important reminders about how we can do exactly that.

To better hear His voice, it would be wise to turn down the volume control of the worldly noise in our lives.

 

My husband frequently asks me if I've heard about this or that in the news currently. Often I have only seen a headline but not followed through reading the whole article or listening to a podcast or YouTube video. I just don't have the "bandwidth" to keep up with all the bad news in the world. It gets to be so depressing and discouraging. (I wish there was a channel devoted to just reporting the good things that are happening!)

I love listening to the new hymns while I'm working around my home, currently packing up to move, or while I'm driving (it's forty-five minutes to the towns where I shop and attend church). The hymns are soothing, inspiring, and conducive to hearing the Spirit.

My dear brothers and sisters, let us strive to be among those whom the Lord can rely on to hear His whisperings and respond, as Saul did on his road to Damascus, "Lord, what wilt thou have me to do?"

Not only can we receive promptings for service, but answers to questions, solutions to challenges, and ways to move forward.

I remember what it's like to be home surrounded by clamoring children and in the throes of intense motherhood. Generally at the end of the day I could be heard saying, "Please, Mother needs peace!" Putting on some classical music to soothe the savage beasts helped relieve the clamor and brought a better spirit into our home, enough so that I could feel calm and be able to hear and perceive the Spirit. I remember a few times of receiving promptings of what I could do for the sisters I visited taught (the olden days). But also answers to what I could do for solving challenges we were facing in our family. Never discount the work we do in our homes with our families as somehow less than serving others outside. The people most important to us, now and in eternity, are our own family, spouse and children!

If we live according to our beliefs, people will notice. If the countenance of Jesus Christ shines in our lives, if we are joyful and at peace with the world, people will want to know why.

Once I asked my children if they could tell what was most important to me. "Yes, Mom, the gospel," they answered in an almost exasperated tone, as if that was a duh question. It made me feel good to know that I was doing something right and that they knew what and who my life was focused on, besides them.

Brothers and sisters, dear friends, let us not wait too long on our road to Damascus. Instead, let us courageously move forward in faith, hope and charity, and we will be blessed with the light was are all seeking upon the path of true discipleship.

So Many Thoughts

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Priesthood session of the April 2011 conference.

First things first. What a weekend!! Waking up Sunday morning to the news that President Russell M. Nelson had graduated from this mortal boarding school brought me to tears. Not for him, but for the rest of us left behind to continue slogging through the fight against evil. Which was evident Sunday morning in the attack on the church in Grand Blanc, Michigan. A place of peace and refuge from the storms of life was breached and burned to the ground by a madman. So much sadness in one day. But I suppose that we are getting a taste of the tribulations to come as the fight heats up and all hell breaks loose. We know which side wins, but the battles will be fierce and there will be mortal and spiritual casualties. I've always felt that our son James was a casualty in that fight. Satan succeeded in getting him addicted to alcohol and filling him with thoughts of worthlessness to the point he couldn't take anymore and ended his life seeking peace. I know from sacred experiences that James is now, in fact, at peace, progressing and very happy. 

Well, this priesthood session was full of good counsel for the brethren. But, as President Uchtdorf said, "The words written in the scriptures and spoken in general conference are for us 'to liken them unto [ourselves]', not for reading or hearing only." So I have applied that counsel to the group I am a part of, the Relief Society.

Elder Steven E. Snow gave a wonderful talk about Hope.

Hope is an emotion which brings richness to our everyday lives. . . . Hope can inspire dreams and spur us to realize those dreams. Hope alone, however, does not cause us to succeed. Many honorable hopes have gone unfulfilled, shipwrecked on the reefs of good intentions and laziness. . . . The exercise of hope enriches our lives and helps us look forward to the future. . . . In the gospel, hope is almost always related to faith and charity. . . . The spiritual journey of today requires no less hope nor faith than those of the early pioneers. Our challenges may be different, but the struggles are just as great.

I've often said that technology, fashion, and such change over time but human nature is the same today as it was in the days of Adam and Eve. We all have to overcome the natural man/woman and choose to be disciples of Jesus, obeying His commandments and keeping our covenants.

President Uchtdorf said that ". . . somewhere between the hearing, the writing of a reminder on our smartphone, and the actual doing, our 'do it' switch gets rotated to the 'later' position. [Sisters], let's make sure to set our 'do it' switch to the 'now' position. As you read the scriptures and listen to the words of the prophets with all your heart and mind, the Lord will tell you how to live up to your [Relief Society] privileges. Don't let a day go by without doing something to act on the promptings of the Spirit."

I remember President Kimball was known for having a little plaque on his desk that said "Do it" and he added the word "now!" to the sign. (Nike stole the slogan!)

President Uchtdorf talked about the emphasis on education and vocational training and commended those listening for becoming an expert in their chosen field. Then said, "I invite you to also become  experts in the doctrines of the gospel--especially the doctrine of the [Relief Society]."

I feel sad that few sisters know the history and purpose of the Relief Society anymore. To the younger women it's just another Sunday class, with an occasional get together to socialize.

How can the Relief Society sister strengthen homes and families when they are out chasing fulfillment in the workplace rather than finding it in the making of homes for weary husbands and children? How can we reach out to the needy, and supply their needs if we're too busy juggling a full-time job and the full-time work of raising a family? (No disrespect is meant to women who are single yet want to be married, my daughter being one; nor to any widows; or any other non-ideal situation. I know that many can't currently live the ideal. But that doesn't mean we disregard God's ideal and accept the world's.)

President Uchtdorf said, "Too often we fail to experience the bliss that come from daily, practical [Relief Society] service."

That daily, practical service can most often be in our own homes! What would it mean to a man, weary from the cares of providing for his family, to come home to a calm place of rest and love? That is service! Teaching children manners and reverence so they are well behaved at church. That is service! Sharing something with a neighbor. That is service! And from our homes and families we reach out to those beyond our immediate circle. 

I deeply appreciate what President Uchtdorf says about ministering (then called Home/Visiting Teaching), "[Sisters], if your [ministering] efforts don't seem to be effective to you, I invite you to see with the eye of faith what a visit from a servant of the Lord will do for a family that has many unseen problems." That was sure me, the family with many unseen problems; and I bless the two faithful sisters who visited me every month, talked of the gospel and bore their testimonies to me faithfully. They lifted me up and keep me going when I wanted to give up, all the while not knowing anything about my situation. They were angels to me.

There was more, but I think it best if you read the talks and hear what the Lord says to you through the Spirit. I love the talks to the men of the priesthood as I hear so much counsel that applies to me so perfectly.

Face the Future with Faith!

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday afternoon session of the April 2011 conference.

Elder Russell M. Nelson's address about faith is certainly timely in light of the condition of the world today. I'm so grateful for apostles and prophets (are they one and the same?). 

At the beginning of this year my sister asked me if I'd like to go on a trip to New England and Prince Edward Island in October. We made some plans but towards the end of the summer she confessed that she was fearful of social conditions and didn't want to go. We ended up going to Utah for a lovely week together. But we missed out on all the interesting historical sites in New England, and the life-long dream of seeing the place of Anne of Green Gables. Oh well. Maybe another time.

We live in a time of turmoil. Earthquakes and tsunamis weak devastation, governments collapse, economic stresses are severe, the family is under attack, and divorce rates are rising. We have great cause for concern. But we do not need to let our fears displace our faith. We can combat those fears by strengthening our faith.

We strengthen our faith by doing the things we learned in Primary: praying, studying the scriptures and words of modern prophets, participating in church meetings, worshipping in the temple, giving service to our fellow students in this mortal boarding school.

Elder Nelson encourages us to "start with your children." Teaching them by our words and actions to have faith in the Savior Jesus Christ, faith in God's plan of salvation, faith to keep all the commandments. 

Warn them that they will encounter people who pick which commandments they will keep and ignore others that they choose to break. I call this the cafeteria approach to obedience. This practice of picking and choosing will not work. It will lead to misery. To prepare to meet God, one keeps all of His commandments. It takes faith to obey them, and keeping His commandments will strengthen that faith.

I've learned as a parent that children pick up on any hypocrisy displayed by adults. They want to trust in parents and leaders whose actions match their words. This is also called integrity. We adults need to be the "do as I do" variety, not the "do as I say" kind. It's difficult and tiring, but it also gives us opportunities to teach about repentance and forgiveness as we confess our mistakes and press forward working on improving.

One commandment Elder Nelson mentions specifically is tithing.

To develop enduring faith, an enduring commitment to be a full-tithe payer is essential. Initially it takes faith to tithe. Then the tithe payer develops more faith to the point that tithing become a precious privilege. Tithing is an ancient law from God. He made a promise to His children that He would open "the windows of heaven, and pour out . . . a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it." Not only that, tithing will keep your name enrolled among the people of God and protect you in "the day of vengeance and burning."

Interestingly, two days before he ended his life, our son received some money (I don't know what kind of payment it was) and he did two things: paid tithing and went to the grocery store. He didn't always attend church, but he always paid tithing. He had a firm testimony of the blessings from living that commandment. 

Elder Nelson asks, "Why do we need such resilient faith? Because difficult days are ahead. Rarely in the future will it be easy or popular to be a faithful Latter-day Saint. Each of us will be tested."

After our son died I wanted to quit life too, not seriously, but it just seemed too hard to keep going. Except that I knew I needed to pass my tests if I wanted to be with my son in an eternal family. No giving up allowed! Elder Nelson said, "You faithful Saints do not have to fight life's battles alone. Think of that! The Lord declared, 'I will contend with him that contented with thee, and I will save thy children.'" That promise keeps me going.

  

 

The Atonement Covers All Pain

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday morning session of the April 2011 conference.

"No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude, and humility. . . . It is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we come here to acquire."

Elder Kent F. Richards was quoting an earlier apostle, Elder Orson F. Whitney.

Sometimes in the depth of pain we are tempted to ask, 'Is there no balm in Gilead, is there no physician there?' I testify the answer is yes, there is a physician. The Atonement of Jesus Christ covers all these conditions and purposes of mortality. 

I can add my testimony and witness that what Elder Richards said is true. I have felt the healing power and comfort of the Atonement through all kinds of physical, emotional, and spiritual pain. Some experiences are too sacred to share. But I know His power is real and His love is limitless and compassionate.

P.S. I got to visit Marilyn of Light in Leaves this past week; she and her children are as delightful in person as they are in her blog. 

 

 

Daughters in My Kingdom

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the General Relief Society Meeting of the October 2010 conference.

I know we're not supposed to have favorites among the general authorities and general officers of the church. I know that. But I just can't help love Sister Julie B. Beck for her straightforward declarations of truth and clarity of message. It seems to me that Relief Society isn't quite the same as it once was, unless you live in an area with a fabulous Relief Society Presidency who know and act upon the purposes of the organization.

 

Fifteen years ago Sister Beck introduced a new resource for Relief Society, a book called, "Daughters in My Kingdom: The History and Work of Relief Society." I've read it several times in the intervening years, learning more each time and remembering the important purposes of this society for female members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, which are: increasing faith in Jesus Christ, strengthening families, and providing relief to others.

 

"Understanding the history of Relief Society strengthens the foundational identity and worth of faithful women." 

We don't meet together to share the latest trends on Social Media, or compare notes on how to get ahead at the office. We meet together in Relief Society to affirm our eternal identity as daughters of God, and our worth as women, wives, mothers, and homemakers who "make the living worthwhile." (I learned a motto decades ago that says, "Dad makes the living, mom makes the living worthwhile" and adopted it as my own.) We meet to encourage and strengthen each other in keeping our covenants, obeying the commandments, and pressing forward with steadfastness in Christ.

 

Babylon all around us tells us our identity and worth comes from how much classroom education and how many degrees we have, what kind of career we pursue, and how large our net worth is. The Lord tells us that we have infinite worth as His daughters and our eternal identity is a woman with the potential to be queen, priestess, wife and mother forever.

 

"[The Lord] intended Relief Society to help build His people and prepare them for the blessings of the temple. He established this organization to align His daughters with His work and to enlist their help in building His kingdom and strengthening the homes of Zion. . . . The Relief Society as an organization has always had the responsibility to organize the energies of the sisters in the wards and branches of Zion."

 

I've spent the past fifteen years in small branches where most women are converts who never knew the Relief Society of previous generations. They haven't experienced the different types of lessons that encouraged sisters to learn more about the world, countries, cultures, become a better mother, a better visiting teacher, a better friend. They haven't experienced "workdays" when the sisters gather around a quilt, finish it and take it to a new mother or recently arrived refugee; or learn how to make a delicious meal out of food storage items. It wasn't exactly the activity that was important, it was the bonds of sisterhood that were built being, working, and learning together.

 

In recent years I've felt so discouraged because I find neither relief nor society when I attend Relief Society. I've long felt like the "odd-man out" because I don't have a college degree, and didn't have a career outside the home. My goodness, I hardly struggled with menopause! I miss leaders like Sister Beck who promote homemaking, motherhood, and service in the church as the highest good.

 

"We study our history because it helps us change. Ultimately, the value of history is not so much in its dates, names, and places. It is valuable because it teaches us the principles, purposes, and patterns we are to follow, it helps us know who we are and what we are to do, and it unites us in strengthening the homes of Zion and building the Kingdom of God on the earth. Relief Society, when it operates in an inspired way, can replace fear, doubt, and selfishness with faith, hope, and charity."

 

I recommend reading or re-reading Daughters in My Kingdom for a needed shot of enthusiasm for Relief Society's history and purposes as well as some ideas on ministering.

 

 

Rest Unto Your Souls

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday afternoon session of the October 2010 conference.

Our son's suicide was the most lift up-ending event that has ever happened to me. It shook the foundations of our family, rattled my faith, and shattered my sense of identity and worth. 

About six months prior to James leaving us, I had an urgent and persistent prompting to study the gospel more diligently and deeply. Following that inspiration proved to be life saving to me.

Elder Per G. Malm of the Seventy said, "Faith in Jesus Christ and following His teachings give us a firm hope, and this hope becomes a solid anchor to our souls. We can become steadfast and immovable. We can enter into the rest of the Lord."

That first sleepless night after my husband discovered what had happened to James I tossed and turned unable to turn off my brain or my tears. All night my mind alternated between two thoughts as wave after wave of gratitude filled my soul: "I know that my Redeemer lives!" and "I'm so grateful for the honor and privilege of being James' mother." 

The past two and a half years have been hard, lonely, and uncertain as we've grieved, navigated changes in life plans, and healed from the gaping hole that James left in our family.

Elder Malm says, "A helpful habit is to lift our vision daily in order to maintain an eternal perspective of the things we plan and do, especially if we detect a tendency to wait until a future tomorrow to do what we know we should pursue while we have our present today."

I shudder to think of how weak I might have been if I hadn't followed the prompting to deepen my knowledge and testimony of the Atonement of the Savior, the Plan of Salvation, and eternal families. I often wonder how others who do not know what I do, and have what I have, endure the pain of a loved one's death.

If I ever wonder how to tell if a prompting is from God, I remember what I know from Moroni. Elder Malm reminds me in his talk. "When we learn to handle the small and simple daily things in a wise and inspired way, the result is a positive influence that will solidify harmony in our souls and build up and strengthen those around us. This is so because everything which invites us to do good 'is sent forth by the power and gift of Christ; wherefore [we] may know with a perfect knowledge it is of God' (Moroni 7:16)."

Sister Camille Johnson's talk in the most recent general conference fits well with this one too. We can be whole in Jesus Christ even though we are not physically, emotionally, or mentally healed. The death of James is permanent for the rest of my life, he will not be returned to me. I will miss him every day and feel a void where he used to be. But I am whole in Christ and can keep pressing forward steadfast in Him knowing that our family will be reunited in the future.

 

Nuggets and Pearls

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday morning session of the October 2010 conference.

A few talks stood out to me from this session, so I gleaned some nuggets and pearls from each one.

President Henry B. Eyring - God does not rule in nations, but He is mindful of them. He can and does place people in positions of influence who want what is best for the people and who trusts in the Lord.

I find that comforting as I think back on the elections of the past twenty-five years. The United States has had ups and downs; scary times and even more frightening times. But this is a land of promise, the headquarters of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. We are blessed that in spite of the elected officials, regardless of who is in the White House, the Gospel rolls forth, temples are built, Israel is gathered and preparations continue for the Second Coming. Life is so much better when we elect men and women who make it easier to live the gospel, keep the commandments and prosper in the land but God's work cannot be stopped.

He also said, "You show your trust in Him when you listen with the intent to learn and repent and then you go and do whatever He asks."

King Benjamin said, similarly, ". . . and now, if you believe all these things see that ye do them." (Mosiah 4:10) And we sing, ". . . teach me all that I must do, to live with him someday."

President Boyd K. Packer - There is something very liberating when an individual determines of his or her own free will to be obedient to our Father and our God and expresses that willingness to Him in prayer.

Isn't it wonderful to have free will and choice? With that, though, comes accountability and consequences. This principle, often called the Law of the Harvest, has been largely forgotten in current society, such that when it is invoked people howl in discontent. We reap what we sow. There is no getting around that; it might be delayed, but the harvest always comes.

President Packer also said, "Nowhere are the generosity and the kindness and mercy of God more manifest than in repentance. . . . Repentance is like unto a detergent. Even ground-in stains of sin will come out."

To me that is comforting, reassuring, and hopeful. No matter how sincere my desire to be obedient is I won't be perfect. I will mess up, choose poorly, make mistakes, and fall short. The gift of repentance is just about the best ever.

Elder Dallin H. Oaks - Those who reject the need for organized religion reject the work of the Master, who established His church and its officers in the meridian of time and who reestablished them in modern times.

It is the purpose of the organization of the church first to enable authorized performance of the ordinances of salvation and exaltation, and then help us stay faithful to the covenants we've made. The fellowship with others on the same path is encouraging and strengthening. We need each other; as the saying goes, there is strength in numbers. 

Elder Oaks also said, "Each member needed to seek the Lord in prayer and receive the direct message of comfort and guidance that comes through the Holy Spirit to those who seek and listen." 

He was speaking of a time of an earthquake in Chile when the physical and spiritual needs of the members was great. The church helped with physical needs, but each member needed to draw on God's help also. I know what it's like to go through a big calamity. The ultimate comfort comes to us from Heavenly Father through the Holy Ghost. I learned long ago that Father and my Savior are dependable and will never let me down or disappoint. They keep their promises.

 

"Oh Lord, it's hard to be humble . . . "

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Priesthood session of the October 2010 conference.

Mac Davis wrote a funny song about it being hard to be humble when you're perfect in every way. 

What's even harder than being humble is realizing that I'm guilty of the sin of pride. Some of what President Uchtdorf said in this session cut me to the core.

One of my spiritual gifts (maybe my only one) is knowledge. Somehow I just know things, or understand the scriptures, or have insights given to me and such. I'm going to substitute a word here to liken the talk to me.

We are servants of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. We are not given [knowledge] so that we can take our bows and bask in praise. We are here to roll up our sleeves and go to work. We are enlisted in no ordinary task. We are called to prepare the world for the coming of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. We seek not our own honor but give praise and glory to God. We know that the contribution we can make by ourselves is small; nevertheless, as we exercise [our knowledge] in righteousness, God can cause a great and marvelous work to come forth through our efforts. We must learn, as Moses did, that "man is nothing" by himself but that "with God all things are possible." 

I frequently wonder how I can use my gift to further the work of gathering Israel. I can't volunteer to speak in Sacrament Meeting or Stake Conference, or teach Gospel Doctrine or Seminary/Institute, that isn't the order of things in the church. I have to wait to be called to do those things. So what do I do?

President Uchtdorf says, "We don't discover humility by thinking less of ourselves; we discover humility by thinking less about ourselves. It comes as we go about our work with an attitude of serving God and our fellowman. Humility directs our attention and love toward others and to Heavenly Father's purposes. . . . The moment we stop obsessing with ourselves and lose ourselves in service, our pride diminishes and begins to die."

I'm guilty of wanting to serve in big ways, to show off my knowledge and understanding. But that's not the Lord's way. 

. . . we are tools in the hands of God. When our heart is in the right place, we do not complain that our assigned task is unworthy of our abilities. We gladly serve wherever we are asked. When we do this, the Lord can use us in ways beyond our understanding to accomplish His work.

My theme song needs to be "I'll Go Where You Want Me to Go, Dear Lord." I have a new opportunity to prove myself since we're moving to a new ward next month. I hope I can be humble, meek, and submit to the Lord's use of me and my talents. 

 

Spiritual Rocky Ridge Road

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday afternoon session of the October 2010 conference.

Elder Neil L. Andersen said, "The road of discipleship is not for the spiritually faint of heart." And I wholeheartedly concur. 

The test of mortal life is a grueling one. The only thing that makes it doable is that it is not a closed book, go it alone kind of test. We have access to the answers and guidance we need to get through. That doesn't make it easier or more fun, just more doable.

Perfection does not come in this life, but we exercise faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and keep our covenants. . . . We push our spiritual roots deep, feasting daily on the words of Christ in the scriptures. We trust in the words of living prophets, placed before us to show us the way. We pray and pray and listen to the quiet voice of the Holy Ghost that leads us along and speaks peace to our soul. Whatever challenges arise, we never, never leave Him.

 

 

  

Living Without Fear

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday morning session of the October 2010 conference.

When I was a little girl my older brothers actively worked to frighten me by telling me about monsters, then, at night, sneaking outside to tap on my window. I was petrified of being alone in the dark. It wasn't until long into adulthood that I conquered my fears. I promised that I would never knowingly tease or teach my children to be fearful, or allow them to do that to each other.

We moved to Provo when our children were 13 to 4. Our boys were active in Cub Scouts and 11 year old Scouts. They had friends who were fearful of walking down the hill from their house to ours for Scout activities. They were terrified of being kidnapped. I incredulously asked, "In Provo? Two blocks from BYU?" (This is in 2002) I wondered where they had learned to be so afraid and chalked it up to being in public school where children are routinely traumatized by everything, from weather patterns to carbohydrates, being catastrophized into huge monsters to fear. Our children were homeschooled and I kept my promise to not teach them to be fearful.

I thought about all this as I studied Sister Rosemary M. Wixom's talk "Stay on the Path".  She said, "If they understand the plan and who they are, they will not fear." I love that! 

Heavenly Father doesn't want us to go through life afraid. He watches over us like the loving parent He is. We, who know the Plan, can teach and guide our children to see mortality as a place of learning and obedience, with wonderful opportunities to experience the glories of Heavenly Father's handiwork. 

The world will teach our children if we do not, and children are capable of learning all the world will teach them at a very young age. What we want them to know five years from now needs to be part of our conversation with them today. Teach them in every circumstance; let every dilemma, every consequence, every trial that they may face provide an opportunity to teach them how to hold on to gospel truths.

My children are all adults now but I still try to teach them through my example and words. I look for ways to praise them and encourage them as they travel the path I've already been down. I want my conscience to be clear that I've done the best I could to teach them.

Elder Renlund spoke of being fearful in the most recent conference. "It is not just children who may feel this way. The best advice for her, for you, and for me is to follow the Savior's teachings. His instructions are neither mysterious nor complex. When we follow them, we do not need to fear or be anxious."

We live in the most marvelous time of all mortality! We have the most amazing conveniences and technology! We have the fullness of the Gospel of Jesus Christ with priesthood power restored, and temples dotting the land! This is not a time to be fearful, but to press forward with steadfast faith in Jesus Christ, preparing for His return in Glory. 

 

" . . . This is my voice unto all."

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the General Young Women Meeting session of the April 2010 conference.

I remembered these talks, although at the time I wasn't in Young Women, but I loved listening to the counsel and encouragement of these sessions and miss the special sessions just for women, young and old.

As I listened and studied this time around I felt that this counsel was for all of us. (See D & C 25:16) No matter how old we get, we are still young, inexperienced and learning compared to our Heavenly Father and our Savior. No mortal is too old for good advice.

Recently, I heard a reaction video to a podcast of a woman, formerly a member of the Church. As a teen she was given a For the Strength of Youth booklet and was initially excited to receive it. But upon reading it she questioned whether this list of "do's and don'ts" was all that Heavenly Father had to offer. She had deeper questions. She wondered if He really cared about "swearing, coffee, and tattoos?" In the comments I wrote that "Heavenly Father cares about obedience!" The ancient Israelites had some rather peculiar commandments too. He teaches us obedience by asking us to do, or not do, small things first, and when we prove ourselves we are then ready to take on more important covenants and commandments. 

Sister Anne M. Dibb said, ". . . avoid the temptations that surround you by strictly following the commandments." I wonder if that woman would have had a different outcome if she'd chosen to be obedient and learn line upon line, precept upon precept as she was ready to harken and understand. 

Sister Mary N. Cook advised us to "live to be worthy of the companionship of the Holy Ghost. . . . You will need that peace and assurance when Satan tries to confuse you with winds of doubt, when you are tempted to take another path, or when others are unkind or mock you for your beliefs." We stay worthy of the the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost by exercising faith in Jesus Christ to obey commandments we don't fully understand, repenting when we fall short (that's every day), and continuing to press forward. 

Women like to feel attractive. We are often hyper-focused on beauty. The internet has not helped our cause. We unfairly compare ourselves to photoshopped perfection and feel that we fall far short of an unrealistic ideal. I love what Sister Elaine Dalton has to say about a fortuitous meeting with a prophet's wife. "On that fall day in Huntsville, Utah, I was reminded of my divine identity, and I learned about what I now call 'deep beauty'--the kind of beauty that shines from the inside out. It is the kind of beauty that cannot be painted on, surgically created, or purchased. It is the kind of beauty that doesn't wash off. It is spiritual attractiveness. Deep beauty springs from virtue. It is the beauty of being chaste and morally clean. . . . It is a beauty that is earned through faith, repentance, and honoring covenants."

I don't think they coordinate their talks exactly, but I sure love how the spirit prompts them in what they say and how it all dovetails together so superbly.

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf then gave us this encouragement: "How beloved you are of your Heavenly Father. Though it may seem that you are alone, angels attend you. Though you may feel that no one can understand the depth of your despair, our Savior, Jesus Christ, understands. He suffered more than we can possibly imagine, and He did it for us. He did it for you. You are not alone."

I never cease to be amazed at how what I study is exactly what I need to hear in that moment!