Counsel from the First Presidency

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Priesthood session of the April 2010 conference.

Even though I study the gospel every day I have felt my spirituality draining away for reasons that I don't fully understand. Have I had such powerful experiences in the past that I don't feel anything less than that? Are there sins I need to repent of? (Yes, always.) Am I being tested further? (Probably, of course.) Am I studying or doing the wrong things, or for the wrong reasons? (I don't know.)

I'm glad that I am studying the past General Conferences as their messages seem tailor made for my situation today. How does that work?

The talks by the First Presidency were especially meaningful to me. Even though they were speaking to the men of the church I could feel that their counsel applied almost equally to the women. At least to this woman.

President Uchtdorf talked about continuing in patience. We are in the midst of a move at the moment and life feels rather unsettled, because it actually is. I can't see the end of this situation and have to go forward with faith in every footstep.  

He says, "From that experience, I learned that patience is far more than simply waiting for something to happen--patience required actively working toward worthwhile goals and not getting discouraged when results didn't appear instantly or without effort. . . . Patience means actively waiting and enduring. It means staying with something and doing all that we can--working, hoping, exercising faith, bearing hardship with fortitude, even when the desires of our hearts are delayed. Patience is not simply enduring; it is enduring well."

I'm revisiting the lesson that I often have to take a step forward without knowing the next step. 

I know for sure that the promises of the Lord, if perhaps not always swift, are always certain. . . . Often we can't see the Lord's hand in our lives until long after trials have passed. 

I think that will prove to be true of the trials I am going through right now. There is a purpose, which I can't see, for the things that are happening. My job is to be faithful no matter what.

 

 Patience is truly a fruit of the Spirit. Patience means staying with something until the end. [I always think of pregnancy] It means delaying immediate gratification for future blessings. It means reining in anger and holding back the unkind word. It means resisting evil, even it appears to be making others rich.

I am learning that patience is an important Godly virtue. Heavenly Father is eternally patient with me in my weakness and stumbling. I must learn to be patient with others, and with circumstances outside of my control, enduring faithfully and actively until I receive the promised blessings.

President Eyring continued the theme with a talk about acting in all diligence. He said, "When I find myself drawn away from my [Relief Society] duties by other interests and when my body begs for rest, I give to myself this rallying cry: Remember Him. . . . He taught us a lesson by what He did in three days in the spirit world before His Resurrection, which I remember whenever I am tempted to feel that I have finished some hard task in His service and deserve a rest." 

I'll be sixty-eight this year, part of my brain says it is time to retire, but hearing the Apostles speak reminds me that they don't get to retire and they are a decade or two or three older than me! 

I close now with this counsel to the Lord's [Relief Society] servants. Ponder deeply and diligently in the scriptures and in the words of living prophets. Persist in prayer for the Holy Ghost to reveal to you the nature of God the Father and His Beloved Son. Plead that the Spirit will show you what the Lord wants you to do. Plan to do it. Promise Him to obey. Act with determination until you have done what He asked. And then pray to give thanks for the opportunity to serve and to know what you might do next.

I now have my instructions!

President Monson added to the theme with Preparation Brings Blessings. He said, "Let us consider our callings, let us reflect on our responsibilities, and let us follow Jesus Christ, our Lord."

Right now I don't have any formal callings because we've had our records transferred to our new branch. No matter, I'm still under covenant to share the gospel, serve my fellowman, and be an example of the believer. We have new neighbors just behind us. They are a lovely family and I've already had opportunities to serve them, and they me. I'm sad we can't stay and enjoy their friendship longer. I hope for a way and opportunity to share the gospel with them.

President Monson addresses an issue in 2010 that I've seen recently on social media regarding member's dress and grooming. He said, "The way you dress sends messages about yourself to others and often influences the way you and others act. Dress in such a way to bring out the best in yourself and those around you. Avoid extremes in clothing and appearance, including tattoos and piercings."

I've never heard any of the apostles rescind what President Hinckley taught about tattoos and piercings in 2000, but there seems to be a whole lot of people who think it is okay. I know we're expected to be accepting and give grace to converts who didn't know any better. But perhaps we could rewatch his address from 2000 (isn't it wonderful to have access to past talks) to educate those who are like the little children of King Benjamin's time and didn't hear or understand the prophet's counsel.

One line in particular stood out to me from President Monson's talk. He said, "Remember that prayer is the passport to spiritual power." That hit me hard because I realized prayer is what I'm struggling with the most. 

When I was raising our five children I had rules we followed when going shopping. Because we homeschooled I took our five everywhere with me. Two of the rules were: 1) Stay by Mom, close enough to touch her; 2) No whining or begging. Number 2 was in case they asked for something and I said no, or not today. I didn't want to negotiate or listen to them whining and begging. Because of that rule I've wondered and pondered, does Heavenly Father feel the same way when I ask for something over and over again? Am I whining and begging? I often think, well, I've asked once and He knows what I asked for, if He's ready to give it to me it will happen, if not, okay, He knows best. This is a struggle for me, and I want to understand and do and be better.

I know that my Heavenly Father loves me because He sends me little messages through His Apostles that answer questions and concerns I have. We are richly blessed when we study their words.

 

 

Not So Random Thoughts

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday afternoon session of the April 2010 conference.

Elder L. Tom Perry - The leaders of the Church spend a great deal of time thinking about how to improve teaching in the Church. Why do we invest this time and effort? It is because we believe in the immense power of teaching to increase the faith of individuals and strengthen families.

During my service as a Relief Society president I asked the Branch President if we could use the Sunday School time for all of the adults in the branch to participate in the teacher improvement course. His response was that he couldn't stop the whole branch to do that. He felt that too many of the adults would never become stellar teachers. I said that probably was true but they could become better students, better Sacrament Meeting speakers, and better Family Home Evening leaders in their own homes. Nope, he wouldn't consent to do it. So we plowed on ahead with untrained, inadequate teachers in just about every class. I felt so bad that he didn't see the value of "sharpening the saw" in the branch.

Elder D. Todd Christofferson - The word of God, as Alma said, is like a seed planted in our hearts that produces faith as it begins to grow within us (See Alma 32:27-43; see also Romans 10:13-17). Faith will not come from the study of ancient texts as a purely academic pursuit. It will not come from archaeological digs and discoveries. It will not come from scientific experiments. It will not even come from witnessing miracles. These things may serve to confirm faith, or at times to challenge it, but they do not create faith. Faith comes by the witness of the Holy Spirit to our souls, Spirit to spirit, as we hear or read the word of God. And faith matures as we continue to feast upon the word.

In my life I had some wonderful teachers to ignite my love of the gospel through the scriptures, beginning with my father and grandfather. Seminary and Institute teachers guided my study for a half dozen years before I served a mission and delved deeper into the word of God each day in preparation for teaching it to others. Before I ever heard Elder Bednar teach it, I found patterns and connections in the scriptures that spoke to my heart and I felt the confirmation of the Spirit of their truthfulness.

Elder Bruce A. Carlson - . . . strict obedience to God's laws brings His blessings and failure to abide by His laws leads to foreseeable consequences. . . . faithful obedience, regardless of the apparent size of the task, will bring the Lord's guidance, assistance and peace.

We are commanded to study the scriptures and teach them to one another. Is it any wonder that the Church invests time and effort to help us? Why are local leaders to reluctant to utilize the help available and more firmly encourage improvement? I do not understand it.

Elder David A. Bednar - Such learning requires spiritual, mental, and physical exertion and not just passive reception. . . . What a glorious opportunity for family members to search the scriptures together and to be tutored by the Holy Ghost. . . . The spiritual discernment and inspiration you will receive from the combination of these three holy habits [Reading and talking about the Book of Mormon, Bearing testimony spontaneously, Inviting children to act] will enable you to stand as watchmen on the tower for your families--"watching. . . with all perseverance" (Ephesians 6:18)--to the blessing of your immediate family and your future posterity.

Oh how we need to be better learners and teachers. Many come to church hungering and thirsting for doctrine as well as strength and fellowship. I know I do! I don't want gospel "twinkies", I want a rich spread to feast upon and discuss with others as we share our insights, testimonies, and experiences.

Built Upon A Rock

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday morning session of the April 2010 conference.

A few weeks ago I gave a talk comparing our mortal journey toward the Celestial Kingdom to past "pioneer" journeys such as Moses and the children of Israel, Lehi and his family, and westward expansion pioneers including the famous Mormon Pioneers.

No analogy is perfect, but I can testify that whatever challenge we face we must keep pressing forward. We cannot sit down and wait until we aren't facing any challenges. Life doesn't work that way. We have to keep going to reach our Promised Land. We must endure faithfully and obediently to the end. (From my talk, 25 May 2025)

This past week has tested my resolve! The clutch on my car burned out. The tender mercy was that it happened just as I rolled into the Walmart parking lot a couple of blocks from the dealership. I got the car towed to the service department and they accepted it but they couldn't even look at it until a week later. The tender mercy was that they had a loaner I could use. On the same day, my husband fell down the stairs at the house he's working on in Iowa, twisting his ankle and getting banged up. That put a hold on the furniture moving we had planned for the weekend. Then on Saturday night in the midst of a heat wave with day time temps in the high 90's the air conditioning stopped working. I melted into a puddle on Sunday, but the tender mercy was that on Monday the temperature moderated and a lovely breeze blew all the hot air out of the house. Tuesday, as I type this, it's even cooler with a stronger breeze. Thankfully, we have ceiling fans in all the rooms.

All of this combined to discourage me and I've cried lots of tears. I won't go into all the other problems I'm facing just now. But it's overwhelming.

I appreciated Elder Wilford. W. Andersen's talk The Rock of Our Redeemer. He described the early saints as they were forced out of the homes in Nauvoo in the depths of winter.

These early Saints were indeed homeless, but they were not hopeless. Their hearts were broken, but their spirits were strong. They had learned a profound and important lesson. They had learned that hope, with its attendant blessings of peace and joy, does not depend upon circumstance. They had discovered that the true source of hope is faith--faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and in His infinite Atonement, the one sure foundation upon which to build our lives.

Yes, I have learned to rely on my Savior too. I can't see the future, but I have assurances that it will all work out. "I do not ask to see the distant scene--one step enough for me."(Hymn 97 Lead Kindly Light)

Like the pioneers of old, I can't sit by waiting for things to happen. I have to keep moving forward, doing what I can and having faith that the next step will be revealed to me.

 

Faith in the Savior requires more than mere belief. The Apostle James taught that even the devils believe and tremble (James 2:9). But true faith requires work. The difference between the devils and the faithful members of this Church is not belief but work. Faith grows by keeping commandments. We must work at keeping the commandments.

The commandment I'm currently working on has to do with praying with more faith and fervor. I struggle to reconcile my desire to ask for things, and my hesitancy to "whine and beg". While raising our children I would tell them not to whine and beg for things. I heard them the first time and when the time was right, if the request was reasonable, I would provide. If I said no, then I really didn't want to hear any whining and begging. I don't know if Heavenly Father feels the same way. Or am I supposed to keep pleading until He gives in? I don't want to be like Martin Harris. It's a question that I haven't found an answer to.

I do know that it is my Savior, Redeemer and Friend who is my Rock; the one I cling to when the storms are fierce around me. He is the One I turn to for succor and relief when the trials are overwhelming. He is my comfort when tears spill down without ceasing. He is who I have build the foundation of my life on. He is the only one who has never let me down, or frustrated or disappointed me. I love Him with all my heart and soul and mind and strength.  

 

Relief Society: A Sacred Work

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the General Relief Society Meeting of the October 2009 conference.

Julie B. Beck is my favorite Relief Society General President because she is a woman after my own heart, prioritizing motherhood and home.

She quotes from the First Presidency in 1942, the occasion of the centennial of the Relief Society:

Members [of Relief Society] should permit neither hostile nor competitive interests of any kind to detract from the duties and obligations, the privileges and honors, the opportunities and achievements of membership in this great Society.

I grew up watching my mother and grandmother attend and participate in Relief Society. I wanted to be there too because I thought that was where the action was. They got things done! They learned things. They made things. They served others all the time. Or so it seemed to me. Relief Society seemed so important to them and they had deep relationships with their sisters. 

I so looked forward to becoming an adult sister in the gospel so I could fully participate in Relief Society. While I served as a missionary (1979-80) the church did away with the mid-week meetings and Relief Society became a Sunday meeting with a once a month homemaking night. I felt so cheated!

The once a month meeting went through several permutations and at this meeting Sister Beck retired the cumbersome name, Home, Family and Personal Enrichment, simplifying it to simply calling the meeting a Relief Society meeting, and by whatever it consisted of--service, classes, projects, conferences, or workshops.

I especially appreciate the instruction she gives about what these meetings should be.  

Under the direction of the bishop, the ward Relief Society presidency can use these meetings to address the spiritual and temporal needs of individuals and families in the ward and to strengthen sisterhood and unity. . . . This is where they learn and practice skills that will help them increase their faith and personal righteousness, strengthen families and homes, and provide service to those in need.

This is what I think my grandmother's and mother's generations did so well! I wish every Relief Society presidency could experience the true vision of Relief Society. I attended one ward in Arkansas last year that seemed to be the closest I'd seen in over fifteen years. (I'd love to move to that ward!)

Sister Sylvia H. Allred, First Counselor to Sister Beck, said, "Your attendance at Relief Society Sunday meetings will bless you, but your participation in the work of Relief Society will bless the whole church."

The whole church, in fact, the whole world needs the blessings of the work of Relief Society. 

Choice and Accountability

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday afternoon session of the October 2009 conference.

One of my pet peeves is members of the church who speed, never allowing enough time to drive somewhere at or below the posted speed limit. I find it rather disingenuous to pray for safe travels and then break the laws. I wonder how members can use justifications to break the speed limit laws that would sound comical to justify breaking other laws or commandments. "Well, I'm just stealing a candy bar, not a television." "I'm just having a little bit of coffee, it's mostly milk." "It's just one cigarette when I'm feeling really stressed." 

In Elder Quentin L. Cook's talk, Stewardship--A Sacred Trust, he says, "This feeling of accountability, which is encompassed by the first great commandment to love God, has been described by some as 'obedience to the unenforceable.' We try to do what is right because we love and want to please our Father in Heaven, not because someone is forcing us to obey." Isn't that how speed laws are? They are rarely enforced, we obey them because we want to be safe, and found on the right side of the law. How much more important are the commandments, especially the ones that will let us into or keep us out of the temple.

Elder Cook tells the story of his grandfather returning to his ranch in his old age to find that the fences protecting the spring had deteriorated and cattle had gotten into the spring and polluted it. The grandfather felt terrible that he hadn't been able to keep up what he felt was his stewardship to protect that source of pure water. Because of the grandpa's reaction to the polluted spring, action was taken to renew the fences and put in place protections to return the spring to its original loveliness and purity.

Elder Cook says, "I would suggest that if we think about giving an accounting of our actions to the Savior, our rationalizations will be seen in their true light."

Elder D. Todd Christofferson's talk, Moral Discipline had similar themes. He said, "Moral discipline is the consistent exercise of agency to choose the right because it is right, even when it is hard."

Exceeding the speed limit is not necessarily a moral issue, except if you think about the example you are setting for your children. Especially if you think about saying to them at the time they get their driver's license--do as I say not as I do, because the insurance cost will skyrocket if you get a ticket.

If we are faithful in small things we are practicing to be faithful and obedient in larger things, especially in the arena of moral choices. 

Elder Christofferson told about President James E. Faust standing before a board of inquiry when he applied to officer candidate school and being asked "In times of war should not the moral code be relaxed? Does not the stress of battle justify men in doing things that they would not do when at home under normal situations?" And his answer, "I do not believe there is a double standard of morality."

Elder Christofferson ended with this timely counsel. "We cannot presume that the future will resemble the past--that things and patterns we have relied upon economically, politically, socially will remain as they have been. Perhaps our moral discipline, if we will cultivate it, will have an influence for good and inspire others to pursue the same course. We may thereby have an impact on future trends and events. At a minimum, moral discipline will be of immense help to us as we deal with whatever stresses and challenges may come in a disintegrating society."

Looking around at the world today we can see how our choices can either draw others to Christ or turn them away. There is no middle ground anymore. We can be moral beacons to guide others to the safety of the Gospel.

The "ity" Virtues

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday morning session of the October 2009 conference.

I like Bishop H. David Burton. He just sounds like a good man, and a fun grandpa. In 1998 he gave a talk called A Season of Opportunity and shared a lesson he had learned from President and Sister Joseph Fielding Smith about patronizing stores that honored the Sabbath Day. That changed the way I shopped ever since. I wrote about it here.

This session's talk was about standing tall and being firmly fixed in perpetuating Christlike virtues. He called them the "ity" virtues because they mostly end in the letters "i t y". 

He spoke of many virtues and quoted President James E. Faust as suggesting "that integrity is the mother of many virtues." I find that to be true because a person of integrity is one whose actions match their words and beliefs. If I say I'm kind but my actions don't show kindness I'm not a person of integrity. 

We live in great and perilous times. The sides (good vs. evil) are polarizing with no middle ground. Either we follow Jesus Christ and practice what we preach, or we follow the other guy. It's becoming impossible to be neutral or to have one foot in each camp. We all must choose one or the other.

Bishop Burton said, "I testify and declare that our Heavenly Father expects His children to exercise integrity, civility, fidelity, charity, generosity, morality, and all the 'ity' virtues. May we have the humility to take the opportunity to act upon our responsibility to demonstrate our ability to do so, I pray in the sacred name of Jesus Christ, amen."

I needed this reminder to examine my life, repent and bring it more into harmony with my covenants to follow the Savior. Studying the past General Conferences is such a blessing in my life! I recommend it to everyone. It's really like studying the scriptures, modern scriptures given in our very day. 

Just Happy to Be Obedient

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Priesthood session of the October 2009 conference.

So many good talks in this session, I recommend them all! I'll just share one statement from one talk which I actually used in the talk I gave on Sunday, 25 May 2025. 

From Elder Yoon Hwan Choi's talk "I Love Loud Boys", 

. . . let us obey the leaders of the Church and be like Adam, who didn't always have to know the reason why but was just happy to be obedient.

And let's be like Nephi who prayed to know for himself that what the prophet said was true!

(Elder Choi is special to me because he is from South Korea, a land that I have visited and love.) 

God's Love and Laws

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday afternoon session of the October 2009 conference.

Some of our children were easier to teach than others. One, especially, questioned everything and wanted to know why. Why did we have to obey the restrictive commandments? I often used analogies to explain things. Just as I am older and more experienced than my children, and can see a bigger picture, God is older, more experienced and wiser too. He sees an eternal perspective. His commandments are like our house and family rules, they are to help us be safe, productive, and happy living together.

Elder Oaks talk, Love and Law, reinforced this concept for me.

The love of God does not supersede His laws and His commandments, and the effect of God's laws and commandments does not diminish the purpose and effect of His love. The same should be true of parental love and rules.

One of the things that is hardest for parents is to allow natural consequences to follow the breaking of rules. Too often we extend mercy before the "weight of sin" is felt and we don't allow children to take some time to "come to themselves" and repent. We want to keep the peace, not interrupt or derail our plans. We don't want to get angry!

God's love is so perfect that He lovingly requires us to obey His commandments because He know that only through obedience to His laws can we become perfect, as He is. For this reason, God's anger and His wrath are not a contradiction of His love, but an evidence of His love.

I'm not trying to justify abuse, but there's nothing wrong with letting our children know how disappointed we are, or how unhappy, or upset we are when they deliberately disobey. (I'm not talking about untrained toddlers here. Sometimes we are impatient with a child who just doesn't know any better. We quickly find out where we need to do some teaching and training.)

God's choicest blessings are clearly contingent upon obedience to God's laws and commandments.

I know this to be true better than I know anything else. While I know I have been forgiven of serious sins as a young adult, I also know I have missed out on blessings, and have suffered the consequences of my sins for decades. Maybe God provides miracles for some in removing consequences, but He hasn't for me. I have apologized to my children who also have had to endure the consequences of my choices. 

God does not intervene to forestall the consequences of some persons' choices in order to protect the well-being of other persons--even when they kill, injure, or oppress one another--for this would destroy His plan for eternal progress. He will bless us to endure the consequences of others' choices, but He will not prevent those choices. 

Despite the somber tone of this talk I find it uplifting and hopeful. God's plan is working. And because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ all things will be made right in the end.

Recently I was pondering about our son James and the poor choices he made and how lost he was. Into my mind came his voice saying, "I'm not lost now, Mom." No, he's not lost anymore. The rescue of the Savior extends to all. James is safe from the power of Satan; he is endowed with priesthood power and able to move forward now. God loves all of His children and has provided a way for repentance and mercy through Jesus Christ.

God's love is evident through His laws. Our love should be evident through our obedience. I'm sure that once I make it through this life I will kneel at His feet and thank Him for His laws, and for His mercy in providing a Savior for when I wasn't strong enough or smart enough to obey those laws. 

 

Be Still

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday morning session of the October 2009 conference.

This year my children will be ages 36 to 27. Hardly seems possible! They were raised in a home where we didn't watch broadcast television. We had a TV but used it to watch VHS, then DVD movies. They were homeschooled and didn't get cell phones until they were on their own, earning their own way. (Once a 16 year old son having been told no, he couldn't have his own computer, asked accusingly, "Well, how old were you when you got your own computer?" My answer stunned him into silence, "Forty.") I read to them at bedtime until they were at least twelve. I tried to give them a good foundation of understanding that we all need quiet time to relax and listen. I not sure I did a very good job. All of them seem to be constantly on their phones, or computers, or gaming, or listening to raucous music while doing something else. To my eyes it seem that they never allow for stillness and quiet. 

Sister Vicki F. Matsumori, Second Counselor in the Primary General Presidency had this to say about it:

If we provide a still and quiet time each day when we are not bombarded by television, computer video games, or personal electronic devices, we allow that still, small voice an opportunity to provide personal revelation and to whisper sweet guidance, reassurance, and comfort to us.

As I listened to that this week I reflected on President Nelson's admonition "But in coming days, it will not be possible to survive spiritually without the guiding, directing, comforting, and constant influence of the Holy Ghost." (See Revelation for the Church, Revelation for Our Lives)

As missionaries we taught people how to recognize the workings of the Spirit through the many references in the scriptures. I thought I knew everything then; but I'm still learning, even now.

Sister Matsumori said, When we understand the whisperings of the Spirit, we will be able to hear Him teach us "the peaceable things of the kingdom" and "all things what [we] should do." We will recognize answers to our prayers and know how to live the gospel more fully each day. We will be guided and protected. And we can cultivate this gift in our lives as we follow those spiritual promptings. Most importantly, we will feel Him witness to us of the Father and of the Son.

I've tried hard to practice what I preach. Being quiet and still has sure helped me better hear instructional promptings, and to feel the comforting influence of the Savior through my grief and pain.

The Spirit is real and near if we'll just give Him the quiet and stillness He needs to get through to us.

Virtue

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the General Young Women Meeting of the April 2009 conference.

Sister Elaine S. Dalton gave me a big hug when we met at an early morning Young Women Devotional in Omaha, Nebraska. She's a wonderful woman.

During her time as Young Women General President her focus was on the quality of virtue. As I listened to her talk from this session of conference I reflected on how relevant it seems right now; which I have come to realize is a way to recognize eternal truths, they never sound dated or old-fashioned, they sound fresh and current.

I've long said that human nature hasn't changed since Adam and Eve. Technology, fashion, styles, knowledge and many other things have changed, but human beings haven't. Eternal truths apply to us as God's children whether we live today or five thousand years ago; and when we hear them they sound relevant to us and our times.

John Adams, one of America's Founding Fathers, said, "Our constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other."

I thought of that as I listened to Sister Dalton's talk. We need, as individuals and as a nation, to return to virtue, morality, and righteousness to defeat evil and be ready for the Savior's return. 

This is a critical time. You are being tapped on the shoulder. You are preparing now for that work which will be your finest hour. You are preparing for eternity.

 

Choices

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday afternoon session of the April 2009 conference.

One quote stood out to me as an answer to a question that I didn't even know I had.

Elder José A. Teixeira said, "Our Father in Heaven respects our freedom to choose and will never force us to do what is right, nor will He impede us from making mediocre choices."

I guess that is the mark of a mature and perfect parent: letting their (adult) children choose and then allowing them to face the consequences of their choices. Fortunately for us He is also merciful and doesn't punish us instantly. Rather, He gives us time and opportunity to repent and be restored. He also has the magnificent ability to make something good out of our foolishness. And for that I'm so grateful.

I Am Not Alone

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday Morning session of the April 2009 conference.

Many years ago with five young children I felt overwhelming loneliness because my marriage was falling apart, I lived across the country from other family members and I didn't have close friends around me. One day I couldn't cope any longer. While the children were busy playing I went into my small walk-in closet, knelt down and poured out my heart to God. I asked to feel loved and understood. Immediately I felt strong, warm arms around me, enveloping me in a loving embrace that comforted me and was so real I began to weep.

Almost thirty years later I can still call to mind that glorious feeling of being loved, understood, and not alone.

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland said, "Brothers and sisters, one of the great consolations of this Easter season is that because Jesus walked such a long, lonely path utterly alone, we do not have to do so. His solitary journey brought great company for our little version of that path—the merciful care of our Father in Heaven, the unfailing companionship of this Beloved Son, the consummate gift of the Holy Ghost, angels in heaven, family members on both sides of the veil, prophets and apostles, teachers, leaders, friends. All of these and more have been given as companions for our mortal journey because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ and the Restoration of His gospel. Trumpeted from the summit of Calvary is the truth that we will never be left alone nor unaided, even if sometimes we may feel that we are. Truly the Redeemer of us all said, “I will not leave you comfortless: [My Father and] I will come to you [and abide with you].”

What else do we need?

Doing A Great Work

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Priesthood session of the April 2009 conference.

"We live in an era of anticipation and preparation, entrusted by God to prepare ourselves, our families, our world for the approaching dawn--the day when the Son of God will 'descend from heaven with a should, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God' (I Thess. 4:16) and usher in His millennial reign."

So said then President Dieter F. Uchtdorf. This era stretches from Joseph Smith to Russell M. Nelson. As this is the last dispensation we (all who have lived or are living through it) are the ones to prepare for the Second Coming. 

"Our Heavenly Father seeks those who refuse to allow the trivial to hinder them in their pursuit of the eternal. He seeks those who will not allow the attraction of ease or the traps of the adversary to distract them from the work He has given them to perform. He seeks those whose actions conform to their words--those who say with conviction, 'I am doing a great work and cannot come down.' " 

In Relief Society there a long discussion about having time to study the gospel when "we are so busy from the time our feet hit the floor in the morning until our head hits the pillow at night." How are we to find the time? I didn't say much out loud, but in my head I was saying, "If you weren't so devoted to your careers/business/children's activities, etc., you'd have more time for the things of eternity. If you'd choose to stay home and actually be a wife, mother and homemaker, you'd have more time for the things of eternity." 

I loved what Elder D. Todd Christofferson said in the most recent conference, "One wise sister observed, 'I cannot think of a more profound way to worship God than to welcome His little ones into our lives and care for them and teach them His plan for them.' " What a profound observation! The things that the world tells us matter the most will matter the least in eternity, and conversely the things the world tells us matter the least will matter the most! But Satan has done a brilliant job distracting women from what matters most. The great work we are supposed to be doing is building the kingdom by welcoming children into our families, and rearing them in truth and righteousness. 

I wish I could have married at age 19 or 20 so I could have had five more children than I was able to. And I wish I could convince mothers to educate their children at home, avoiding satan's indoctrination centers. As hard as it was at the time I'm so grateful I was able to stay home to nurture and teach our children. I believe that the close relationships we enjoy now are the result of all the time we spent together when they were young.

My fondest hope is that in the economy of heaven motherhood will be the most important and honored "profession." It is certainly the greatest work I've ever done here, as well as the finest character builder ever devised.

General Conference - April 2025

The feast of General Conference this weekend was overwhelming to me and I wondered how to take it all in. I approached this conference differently than in the past by deciding to not take any notes of what the speakers were saying; rather I took notes of what the Spirit was saying to me. After all, Elder Bednar reminded us that it will all be online very shortly and we can read it and listen to it again.

Prior to the conference I wrote down five questions that had been on my mind, and during the conference I wrote down one more. As I listened to the music, prayers and talks I noted any impressions from the Spirit or subjects in the talks that pertained to those questions. Only one question wasn't addressed or answered in any way. The rest were answered, some multiple times and in many ways.

In the week leading up to conference I noticed a lot of "speculation" about changes that could be announced, most of which I thought were just silly, and some of it showing a distinct lack of understanding of the doctrines of the Savior. My own feeling was that there weren't going to be any changes made at this time. And I was right! Which is a nice feeling to have validated. 

Thematically, I think every speaker referred to the mission and Atonement of Jesus Christ. It was as if they all wanted to show and tell the world that we really do ". . . talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ, . . . that [all the world] may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins." (2 Nephi 25:26) I loved it!! The other theme I heard running through many of the talks was spiritual preparation for the Second Coming of the Savior. 

Some highlights for me include: President Camille Johnson teaching us that we can be whole in Jesus, which is different from being perfect. Elder Steven Shumway saying, those we serve should remember Him more than us. The Spirit impressed on my heart that Jesus wouldn't seek to sit with the church leaders, He would seek to sit with the lowly. Elder Neil L. Anderson gave a profound and much needed talk about the sanctity of life. Brother Lund spoke of the power of the Aaronic Priesthood and I wondered if I had done enough to teach my sons the importance of their power. Elder Uchtdorf gave a wonderful talk on unity and not giving up on the ideal. Elder Christofferson spoke of worship, and included a plea to welcome little ones to our families and teach them to love and worship the Savior. Elder McCune taught that joy comes from our covenants with Christ no matter what mortal trials we are going through. 

As always the music was fantastic and I enjoyed hearing so many of the new hymns. I have listened to them on the Library app over and over! I love them all. I wish our branch would sing more of them.

For the first time in decades I was completely alone for all the sessions of conference. Solitude has advantages, but by the end I was really lonely with no one to rejoice with. I'm hoping that circumstances will be better for the next conference in six months.

(P.S. I'd really like to add photos again, but my laptop is so old that it won't update anymore and I can't add pictures to my blog. I'm saving up for a new computer. Sorry I can't make this more interesting.)

Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday afternoon session of the April 2009 conference.

"In uncertain and difficult times". . . has there ever been any other kind of times on earth? Mortal life IS uncertain, and is certainly difficult. You can think of a couple of dozen circumstances and events that make for difficulty and uncertainty.

Elder Kevin W. Pearson says, "In uncertain and difficult times, faith is truly a spiritual gift worthy of our utmost efforts. We can give our children education, lessons, athletics, the arts, and material possessions, but if we do not give them faith in Christ, we have given little." I think about this often and wonder what more I could have done for our children. I tried so hard to teach them the gospel and encourage them to live the commandments but three chose to wander down the wide path of worldliness as soon as they left home. One struggled to return but gave up and ended his life too soon. The other two, while successful in life by worldly standards, have no evident desire to return to the fold of God. 

Elder Pearson explains that, "Strong faith is developed by obedience to the gospel of Jesus Christ. . . . If we desire more faith, we must be more obedient. . . . As patterns of obedience develop, the specific blessings associated with obedience are realized and belief emerges. Desire, hope, and belief are forms of faith, but faith as a principle of power comes from a consistent pattern of obedient behavior and attitudes."

As our children got to be teenagers they wanted more freedom so we would explain to them that obedience to the family and household rules proved trustworthiness and thus they could gain more freedom. When they cooperated and things worked smoothly they realized we were telling the truth (belief emerged) and their obedience was strengthened and reinforced. It's not a perfect analogy, but it works. Elder Pearson said, "We get what we focus on consistently." 

He goes on to explain about opposition and the influence of Satan. He calls these influences the "Six Destructive Ds--doubt, discouragement, distraction, lack of diligence, disobedience and disbelief--[which] all erode and destroy our faith. We can choose to avoid and overcome them." 

Going back to my simple analogy, teens can be really challenging to parents, and life can feel really challenging to the teens. Elder Pearson says, "Challenging times require greater spiritual power. Consider carefully the Savior's promise: If ye will have faith in me ye shall have power to do whatsoever is expedient in me." Teens need to have faith in their parents, believing that Mom and Dad want the best outcome for their child, and that Mom and Dad have the experience and wisdom to give good counsel. As a teen is obedient he/she can see that the parents were correct, and that more freedom and responsibility results from that obedience. In a similar way, we have to trust the Savior's teachings and example. As we are obedient to the commandments we gain greater spiritual freedom, responsibilities, and power to overcome challenges. "In a household of faith, there is no need to fear or doubt."

 

I trust that the Savior is working behind the scenes to lead back to the fold our two wayward sons. My patience is sorely tried, but I have faith that Jesus loves my sons even more that I do so I can trust them to Him. I'm so thankful for His tender mercies, His empowering grace and His eternal love.

Provident Living

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday morning session of the April 2009 conference.

It's hard to believe that twenty years ago I was a presenter at BYU Women's Conference. The subject was "Facing Financial Challenges through Provident Living." At the time my husband was in his last year at BYU, we had five children ages 16 to 7, and we were the proverbial starving student family. (We advised all our children to go to college while young because babies don't feel poor, but teens sure feel the pinch.) I had given a class at a Relief Society activity in our ward at which our Stake RS president also taught a class. Turns out she was on one of the BYU conference committees and when the subject of provident living was chosen she said she knew just the right sister to present on that subject. I got a letter in the mail in December inviting me to do so. I burst into tears! Then in January at our first information meeting we were told that all our names had to be cleared with the prophet and president of the church, at the time Gordon B. Hinckley, and I cried all over again. It turned out to be among the best experiences I've ever had. (I have often wished I could do it again.)

In this General Conference sessions Elder Robert D. Hales addressed the same subject. (And said many of the same things I did; so nice to be in sync with an apostle!) 

. . . for both debt and addiction, the hopeful solution is the same--we must turn to the Lord and follow His commandments. We must want more than anything else to change our lives so that we can break the cycle of debt and our uncontrolled wants. . . . you will be filled with hope in our Savior, Jesus Christ, and find hope in the doctrines of His restored gospel.

He talked about the challenge of overcoming temptations. "Each temptation we overcome is to strengthen us, not destroy us. . . . Our success is never measured by how strongly we are tempted but by how faithfully we respond. We must ask for help from our Heavenly Father and seek strength through the Atonement of His Son, Jesus Christ. In both temporal and spiritual things." 

Elder Hales gives examples from his own experience about lessons learned. First was being told by his wife that they couldn't afford the beautiful dress he wanted her to have. "I have learned that the three most loving words are 'I love you,' and the four most caring words for those we love are 'We can't afford it.'"

Second, later when they were more financially secure he wanted to buy his wife a lovely fur coat during a time when she was a ward Relief Society president helping to minister to needy families. She asked, "Are you buying this for me or for you?" She wanted to know if "the purpose of the gift [is] to show your love for me, or to show me that you are a good provider or to prove something to the world?"

He says "These two lessons are the essence of provident living. When faced with the choice to buy, consume, or engage in worldly things and activities, we all need to learn to say to one another, 'We can't afford it, even though we want it!' or 'We can afford it but we don't need it--and we really don't even want it.'"

Plenty of people complain today about not being able to afford a home yet are mired in debt for things they can't even remember, meals, outings, movies, drinks, clothes, and such. The shackles of student loan debt is another example of the consequences of not following the counsel of God to stay out of debt.

I invite you to come unto Him and hear His words: "Wherefore, do not spend money for that which is of no worth, nor your labor for that which cannot satisfy. Hearken diligently unto me, and remember the words which I have spoken; and come unto the Holy One of Israel, and feast upon that which perisheth not, neither can be corrupted." (2 Nephi 9:51) 

 This was a memorable talk that has become one of the classics referred to again and again. There is even a little video made from the story about buying the dress.

I have such a strong testimony of the blessings that come from living the Lord's financial commandments. I saw it in my parent's lives, as well as good friends whom I've known for many years. I've also seen in my own marriage what happens when choices are disobedient to the commandments. It's not pleasant. Thank God we have the gifts of repentance, forgiveness and second chances.

Fulfilling the Purpose of Relief Society

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the General Relief Society session of the October 2008 conference.

We attend church in a small branch in Minnesota. Our branch covers a large area with members living in 25 different towns in two states. The largest of those 25 is where the church building is and has a population of just under 11,000. The smallest town where members live has 167 residents. This area is mostly rural farmland. We live in the second largest town with a population of 4,700. There are four members in our town. Previously there were a few more but an elderly couple moved to Arizona and an elderly brother died.

When we first moved here the sister half of the elderly couple, who moved to Arizona, was not really active in Relief Society. She had found another women's group who better met her needs for sociality and service. I encouraged her to come to Relief Society and she eventually did and we enjoyed attending the few activities that happened together.

After living here for almost eight years I can understand why she sought out sisterhood and service in another organization. I have too. 

For whatever reasons (and there were many given, and many excuses made) the Relief Society here rarely did anything, either social or service.  Finally, last fall, after a suggestion to the RS President two sisters were called to head up the activities, and there have been a few more socials. Attempts have been made to do something in the way of community service but so far it hasn't worked out.

The sisters are generally good for service when there is a funeral or new baby born, but not so much in continuing efforts in the community. I think it is sad that we don't do more to serve which would raise the profile of the church here and help further missionary efforts. But no one asks me, and I'm not in charge.

In 2008 Sister Julie B. Beck, General President of the Relief Society said, "It is time for Relief Society to fulfill its purpose as never before. To move forward and achieve what the Lord desires, we must clearly understand the purpose of Relief Society. . . . The purpose of Relief Society, as established by the Lord, is to organize, teach, and inspire His daughters to prepare them for the blessings of eternal life."

She goes on to talk about 1) Increase in faith and personal righteousness, 2) Strengthen families and homes, 3) Serve the Lord and His children.

"Families worldwide are being assaulted and weakened by corrupt practices and false teachings. Therefore, whether we are married or single, old or young, we have a duty to defend and practice the truths found in 'The Family: A Proclamation to the World.' . . . Children being born now are growing up in an increasingly sinful world. Our homes are to be the refuge from the daily encounters they have with evil." 

Sister Beck tells of being a young married when her mother moved far away. Her mother counseled her, "If I never come back, if you never see me again, if I'm never able to teach you another thing, you tie yourself to Relief Society. Relief Society will be your mother. . . . I began from that time to learn abundantly from women of stature and faith."

I never lived near my mother because my husband's career in the military took us far away from her. I always looked to the sisters in Relief Society as my sisters, mothers, aunts and grandmothers. I asked a lot of older women for advice and counsel and learned so much from them.

I also learned from the many, many activities (lessons, workshops, demonstrations, interest groups, etc.) we had. And in a few of the places we lived the Relief Society was involved in community service.

My testimony of the benefits and work of Relief Society began early when my father was in college and my mother worked. We lived in my grandparent's basement and I spent my days in her care. She was a member of a Relief Society presidency and a doer! We visited lots of sisters, at home, and in the hospital. I got to go to Relief Society with her each week (in the olden days when RS was on a weekday morning) and my favorite time was "work day" when they made quilts and other lovely things, and had a delicious luncheon. To my mind Relief Society was the place where things happened! It was the best place in the church. I remember as a teen being really eager to be an adult so I could attend Relief Society. (Of course, the whole program changed while I was on my mission with the advent of the "block program" with everything on Sunday. That was a huge disappointment to me and Relief Society never seemed the same.) There have been times and places in my adult life when I have felt energized by Relief Society and other times and places where it is the opposite. I totally understand why my friend sought out other opportunities to socialize and serve with another group of women. 

Oh that we could have a Relief Society revival and return to increasing our testimonies of the Savior; learning homemaking and parenting skills; and getting involved in regular community service to lift others from despair and poverty, both spiritual and physical.

Sister Beck continues to inspire me!

Life is Hard

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday afternoon session of the October 2008 conference.

This session had some memorable talks, one of which was given by apostle Elder Quentin L. Cook titled, "Hope Ya Know, We Had a Hard Time."

As I listened to this talk I thought of our current family challenge of one of my niece's three year old son being diagnosed with leukemia just last month. This is a new challenge for us, but I believe we'll get through it as we have the many others that have come our way. 

"One of the essential doctrines illuminated by the Restoration is that there must be opposition in all things for righteousness to be brought to pass. This life is not always easy, nor was it meant to be; it is a time of testing and proving."

Going through the trial of our son's suicide has been the most difficult thing I've ever experienced. It was so final and unfixable. There was nothing I could do to change the outcome; no way for another chance to do things differently. But through it all I have felt the love of my Heavenly Father and Savior. We have experienced so many tender mercies that I know He loves us and knows our pain. It has strengthened my resolve to pass my test and be found worthy of the blessings I desire in the eternities.

Life is hard! For everyone. And all our tests are tailor made to refine us and teach us eternal truths. Fortunately it's an open book test and we can ask the headmaster all the questions we want and at the appropriate time He will help us find the answers. I know this is true!

Christian Courage

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday morning session of the October 2008 conference.

Frequently I listen to my husband and oldest son describe an antagonistic or argumentative exchange they've participated in online. I don't understand why they engage in such, but they are adults and get to choose for themselves. I refuse to argue with anyone online. It is unproductive and dismisses the Spirit faster than you can say, "You're wrong!" 

Christians in general, and members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in particular, are often under attack for our beliefs, values, and morals. Satan doesn't want us to believe or act on our beliefs so he influences his followers to attack and accuse us of anything and everything.

Elder Robert D. Hales spoke of having Christian courage to follow the Savior's example. "But when we respond to our accusers as the Savior did, we not only become more Christlike, we invite others to feel His love and follow Him as well. . . . When we do not retaliate--when we turn the other cheek and resist feelings of anger--we too stand with the Savior. We show forth His love, which is the only power that can subdue the adversary and answer our accusers without accusing them in return. That is not weakness. That is Christian courage."

I so enjoy Elder Hales' soft spoken delivery. He epitomizes his statement, "True disciples speak with quiet confidence, not boastful pride." 

There is enough stress and strife in the world today without adding our two cents to it. I should be spreading good cheer, the good news of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and encouragement wherever I can. Lifting someone's sagging spirit is an act of service; finding the good in someone, the silver lining in a situation, are also acts of service. As President Nelson said, "Peacemakers Needed!" and that takes Christian courage. Elder Hales ended his talk with the prayer "That we may share His eternal, unconditional love with our brothers and sisters everywhere,". I think that's as needed today as it ever was.

General Conference Talks Answer Questions!

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Priesthood session of the October 2008 conference.

For many years I've felt less than. Less than the women featured in Church News articles, or church magazine articles, less than others called to positions of leadership. Because I don't have a college degree, because my chosen career has been wife, mother and homemaker. 

I've often wondered if there will be a different value system in the next life where those who chose to magnify the calling of wife and mother will be more valued than those who gave their life's effort to being a corporate executive or business owner or any other mortal pursuit. I've recently asked myself numerous times if I wasted my life? Should I have pursued a career outside my home? Was I too lazy to do so, and did I just take the easy road?

I'm not uneducated. Over the years I've read voraciously on many subjects: architecture, geography, history, medical science, exercise and nutrition, efficiency and organization, color theory, music, biology, and anything else that interested me. I can hold my own in just about any conversation. I'm curious about the world around me and would have made a great detective or journalist--I love to ask questions!

As a new member of the First Presidency, President Dieter F. Uchtdorf gave a memorable talk titled, "Lift Where You Stand". Among other things, he talks about the example of the Savior going about serving others and then says, "In spite of this shining example, we too easily and too often get caught up in seeking the honors of men rather than serving the Lord will all our might, mind, and strength. Brethren, [or sisters!] when we stand before the Lord to be judged, will He look upon the positions we have held in the world or even in the Church? Do you suppose that titles we have had other than 'husband,' [wife] 'father' [mother], or 'priesthood holder' [Relief Society sister] will mean much to Him? Do you think He will care how packed our schedule was or how many important meetings we attended? Do you suppose that our success in filling our days with appointments will serve as an excuse for failure to spend time with our wife [husband] and family? The Lord judges so very differently from the way we do. He is pleased with the noble servant, not with the self-serving noble." 

That gives me peace! I haven't wasted my life serving my family and in the church.  My choices to stay home, homeschool our children and serve in the church are pleasing to the Lord. I don't need to listen to my doubts.

Another question that was answered by this talk is about premonitions. Several times over the years I've had the distinct feeling that I was going to be called to a particular calling. And then it didn't happen. That has puzzled me for years! Did I listen to the wrong voice? Did I misinterpret the prompting? What was going on?

Elder Uchtdorf explains, "Sometimes He grants spiritual promptings telling us that we are worthy to receive certain callings. This is a spiritual blessing, a tender mercy from God. But sometimes we do not hear the rest of what the Lord is telling us. 'Although you are worthy to serve in this position,' He may say, 'this is not my calling for you. It is my desire instead that you lift where you stand.' God knows what is best for us."

What a relief! I did hear the right voice. I just didn't hear the full message. 

I'm really grateful for the scriptures we call General Conference talks. They truly are the word of the Lord to us; with answers to questions revealed in the Lord's timing, when we're ready to receive them. I know I'd read or heard this particular talk previously, but I didn't get the specific answers that I heard this time around. It's a nice tender mercy to experience.

The Way

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday afternoon session of the October 2008 conference.

Elder Lawrence E. Corbridge gave such a stirring testimony of the Savior that it brought me to tears. I have had sacred experiences of my own such that I can't deny that Jesus Christ lives and loves me. There is no other way to return to our heavenly home except through Jesus.

Jesus Christ is the Way. He is Light and Life, Bread and Water, the Beginning and the End, the Resurrection and the Life, the Savior of the world, the Truth, and the Way.

 

I'm like the handcart pioneers of old, I have gotten to know the Savior in my extremities. Elder Corbridge says, "The Lord's way is not hard. Life is hard, not the gospel. 'There is opposition in all things', everywhere for everyone. Life is hard for all of us, but life is also simple."  "Therefore, while the Lord's invitation to follow Him is the highest of all, it is also achievable by everyone, not because we are able, but because He is, and because He can make us able too."

How else could I go through the pain of labor and childbirth, bankruptcy, a failing marriage, children leaving the covenant path, death of a beloved son, the aches and pains of aging without the strength and succor of my Savior? He has been beside me all the way, even when I was too stressed to feel Him there. I know He was there because when I come out of my stupor of physical or emotional pain I realize He has been with me all the way.

I look forward to the day I can fall at His feet and express my gratitude for His mercy, grace and love.