This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday afternoon session of the October 2011 conference.
Have you ever felt personal stagnation? As if you're not moving forward. I have. My current, and most recent situation has been one of going through the motions, simply doing what I know I should because my mission president (Elder LeGrand R. Curtis Sr.) taught us that if our body is where it should be, doing what it should do, then our spirit will catch up to where our body is. I think he was expanding on what President Brigham Young said about getting on your knees and praying until you felt like praying.
As I listened to and read Elder (now President) D. Todd Christofferson's talk I knew that I need to repent. His talk touched me deeply (I've always liked his talks) and I felt the Spirit prompting me to act on what he was teaching.
His five fundamental aspects of this fundamental gospel principle were, as he hoped, extremely helpful to me.
First, the invitation to repent is an expression of love. This resonated with me from the perspective of a mother. I wanted my children to repent of their deliberate wrong doings because I loved them and wanted our home to be calm, peaceful and filled with love. No doubt Father feels similarly. He is not a tyrannical dictator demanding compliance to abstract laws. He loves us and wants His home and family to be calm, orderly, peaceful and filled with love for each other.
Second, repentance means striving to change. Feeling sorry, even saying I'm sorry is not enough. That's the beginning. I have to act and be different the next time, and continuing into the future. Elder Christofferson's words were so instructive and encouraging: ". . . we seek His grace to complement and reward our most diligent efforts." And, ". . .We should pray for time and opportunity to work and strive and overcome." When I was a teen wondering what the purpose of life was, an answer came as our family read The Book of Mormon, in Alma 42:4, "And thus we see, that there was a time granted unto man to repent, yea, a probationary time, a time to repent and serve God." But I'd never thought about praying for more time and opportunity. Perhaps it's just because I'm getting older (68 in December) that I hope I'm not going to run out of time.
Third, repentance means not only abandoning sin but also committing to obedience. Nature abhors a vacuum so one thing, the sin, must be replaced with another, or we fall right back into the sin. Of course I'd like to ask Father why good habits are so hard to establish and easy to break, while bad habits are so easy to establish and so difficult to break. Is this simply part of our mortal testing? Opposition in all things? A strengthening process, sort of like weight lifting? All of the above? I long for a face to face conversation with my Father in Heaven. This I do know, that sinful habits and behaviors have to be replaced with obedience to the commandments and righteous habits. And it's often just hard work, like lifting weights. But it gets easier and more automatic the longer it's done. Which is why, even when feeling stagnant, I've continued to read the scriptures and General Conference talks daily. It's a habit (thank goodness, finally) and I hoped at some point for my spirit to catch up.
Fourth, repentance requires a seriousness of purpose and a willingness to persevere, even through pain. I'll continue the weight lifting analogy a bit. One of our sons is a serious weight lifter. He's been doing it for about a decade now. He says that he is always sore somewhere, but that is how muscle growth occurs, lifting to failure, and then resting for growth; rotating which area of the body gets worked daily. Repentance and obedience will cause discomfort, even pain as I change from a natural man/woman to a saint through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. It is comforting, though, to realize that the pain of repentance is minimal compared to the pain of suffering for our own sins. The price has been paid, we have been redeemed, if we willingly repent and accept the gift.
Fifth, whatever the cost of repentance, it is swallowed up in the joy of forgiveness. This brings us full circle to the love of God the Father and Jesus Christ. They want us to repent, and readily forgive when we do so because They love us!! When we feel their love in the form of forgiveness we experience a joyful relief and a loving connection restored or deepened.
I doubt that anyone reading this blog is guilty of any great big malignant sin, but we are all guilty of little faults and failings, shortcomings and transgressions. I realized that by letting mine accumulate, I let the stagnation set in, which is why this talk touched my heart. I've needed a direct call to repentance and reminder of the fact that it isn't punishment, but a divine gift to restore me to and deepen my connection to my Father in Heaven, and my Savior Jesus Christ.
I was pleased when Elder Christofferson was called to the First Presidency. His talks are so wonderful, clear and direct and loving.
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