Testimony

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Priesthood session of the October 2011 conference.

Elder Kevin G. Brown's talk from the most recent General Conference has been an internet sensation for his fervent, fiery delivery. Last week in Relief Society we studied that talk and the teacher said that she had met Elder Brown some years ago when her family went to Jamaica to pick up a brother from his mission. She said that Elder Brown was just as intense and passionate in real life as he was in conference.

Two things that President Monson said in his talk "Dare to Stand Alone" brought to my mind Elder Brown's talk.

In order for us to be strong and to withstand all the forces pulling us in the wrong direction or all the voices encouraging us to take the wrong path, we must have our own testimony.

 May each of us who holds the priesthood of God [or is a disciple of Jesus Christ] know what he believes.

We can't be strong enough to make it through life leaning on someone else's knowledge and testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. We have to put in the work ourselves to grow our own knowledge and testimony.

Watching YouTube fitness videos and listening to my son talk about the benefits of nutrition and exercise is wonderful, but it doesn't help me. I need to do the work myself of choosing the right foods in the right amounts, and getting in the right amounts and kinds of movements to change my body. He can't do it for me. (Darn!)

Sister Julie B. Beck said, "Insight found in the scripture accumulates over time, so it is important to spend some time in the scriptures every day." And General Conference talks qualify as scripture. My study doesn't really help anyone else's knowledge and testimony either. We each have to fill our lamps and oil vessels drop by drop over time. There's no way to "download" knowledge and testimony in a few minutes. Or to think of it another way, we don't get through life starving our bodies all week and gorging on Sunday. We eat every day to maintain health and strength. We need to be "eating" our spiritual food daily too. 

Another little tidbit I notice in each and every conference is that the speakers says things like "in these trying times", "in these perilous times", or similar phrases. And I think to myself, when has life ever not been trying or perilous, or economically hard, or morally easy. This life is a test of our obedience and commitment to following the Savior. Satan wants us to fail and works tirelessly to do so. Of course life is hard! But we can be strong and pass the test by taking our spiritual vitamins daily, exercising our faith in Jesus Christ daily, and enduring faithfully to the end.

 

 

 

The Divine Gift of Repentance

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday afternoon session of the October 2011 conference.

Have you ever felt personal stagnation? As if you're not moving forward. I have. My current, and most recent situation has been one of going through the motions, simply doing what I know I should because my mission president (Elder LeGrand R. Curtis Sr.) taught us that if our body is where it should be, doing what it should do, then our spirit will catch up to where our body is. I think he was expanding on what President Brigham Young said about getting on your knees and praying until you felt like praying.

As I listened to and read Elder (now President) D. Todd Christofferson's talk I knew that I need to repent. His talk touched me deeply (I've always liked his talks) and I felt the Spirit prompting me to act on what he was teaching.

His five fundamental aspects of this fundamental gospel principle were, as he hoped, extremely helpful to me.

First, the invitation to repent is an expression of love. This resonated with me from the perspective of a mother. I wanted my children to repent of their deliberate wrong doings because I loved them and wanted our home to be calm, peaceful and filled with love. No doubt Father feels similarly. He is not a tyrannical dictator demanding compliance to abstract laws. He loves us and wants His home and family to be calm, orderly, peaceful and filled with love for each other.

Second, repentance means striving to change. Feeling sorry, even saying I'm sorry is not enough. That's the beginning. I have to act and be different the next time, and continuing into the future. Elder Christofferson's words were so instructive and encouraging: ". . . we seek His grace to complement and reward our most diligent efforts." And, ". . .We should pray for time and opportunity to work and strive and overcome." When I was a teen wondering what the purpose of life was, an answer came as our family read The Book of Mormon, in Alma 42:4, "And thus we see, that there was a time granted unto man to repent, yea, a probationary time, a time to repent and serve God." But I'd never thought about praying for more time and opportunity. Perhaps it's just because I'm getting older (68 in December) that I hope I'm not going to run out of time.

Third, repentance means not only abandoning sin but also committing to obedience. Nature abhors a vacuum so one thing, the sin, must be replaced with another, or we fall right back into the sin. Of course I'd like to ask Father why good habits are so hard to establish and easy to break, while bad habits are so easy to establish and so difficult to break. Is this simply part of our mortal testing? Opposition in all things? A strengthening process, sort of like weight lifting? All of the above? I long for a face to face conversation with my Father in Heaven. This I do know, that sinful habits and behaviors have to be replaced with obedience to the commandments and righteous habits. And it's often just hard work, like lifting weights. But it gets easier and more automatic the longer it's done. Which is why, even when feeling stagnant, I've continued to read the scriptures and General Conference talks daily. It's a habit (thank goodness, finally) and I hoped at some point for my spirit to catch up.

Fourth, repentance requires a seriousness of purpose and a willingness to persevere, even through pain. I'll continue the weight lifting analogy a bit. One of our sons is a serious weight lifter. He's been doing it for about a decade now. He says that he is always sore somewhere, but that is how muscle growth occurs, lifting to failure, and then resting for growth; rotating which area of the body gets worked daily. Repentance and obedience will cause discomfort, even pain as I change from a natural man/woman to a saint through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. It is comforting, though, to realize that the pain of repentance is minimal compared to the pain of suffering for our own sins. The price has been paid, we have been redeemed, if we willingly repent and accept the gift.

Fifth, whatever the cost of repentance, it is swallowed up in the joy of forgiveness. This brings us full circle to the love of God the Father and Jesus Christ. They want us to repent, and readily forgive when we do so because They love us!! When we feel their love in the form of forgiveness we experience a joyful relief and a loving connection restored or deepened. 

I doubt that anyone reading this blog is guilty of any great big malignant sin, but we are all guilty of little faults and failings, shortcomings and transgressions. I realized that by letting mine accumulate, I let the stagnation set in, which is why this talk touched my heart. I've needed a direct call to repentance and reminder of the fact that it isn't punishment, but a divine gift to restore me to and deepen my connection to my Father in Heaven, and my Savior Jesus Christ.

I was pleased when Elder Christofferson was called to the First Presidency. His talks are so wonderful, clear and direct and loving. 

You Matter to Him!

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday morning session of the October 2011 conference.

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf's address touched my heart deeply. The past several years have been so hard for me. All of our children are gone and settled into their own lives. My identity as a mother is no longer my primary role. Being a Nana is a part-time gig, and I have no church calling presently. Who am I? Do I matter anymore? Even my husband has come out of retirement and begun teaching again, giving him instant identity and status, leaving me feeling even more alone.

What mattered to Him was that I was doing the best I could, that my heart was inclined toward Him, and that I was willing to help those around me. I knew if I did the best I could, all would be well! And all was well.

That soothed my heart and calmed my soul. It's so reassuring to be reminded of my eternal worth and value. 

Disciples of Jesus Christ understand that compared to eternity, our existence in this mortal sphere is only a "small moment" in space and time. They know that a person's true value has little to do with what the world holds in high esteem. They know you could pile up the accumulated currency of the entire world and it would not buy a loaf of bread in the economy of heaven.

The world doesn't hold wives, mothers and homemakers in high esteem. But that is precisely what is most important in the eternal scheme of things, so this was also comforting. I never cease to be amazed at how General Conference talks speak to my soul no matter when I read them: at the time they're given, for the next six months, or years later. It just proves to me that gospel principles are truly eternal, the Spirit knows what we need to hear, and studying the conference talks is never in vain or time wasted.

President Uchtdorf reminds us that "Another way Satan deceives is through discouragement. He attempts to focus our sight on our own insignificance until we begin to doubt that we have much worth. He tells us that we are too small for anyone to take notice, that we are forgotten--especially by God." That is precisely what had happened to me. I have felt so forgotten and useless. But I've been reminded that God does indeed have a plan for me, and that I can assist in His work. 

During this month of Thanksgiving I acknowledge that I'm so grateful for prophets and apostles who deliver God's personal messages to us.