"You Can't Pet a Rattlesnake"

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Priesthood session of the April 2001 conference.

For the past three weeks my prayers have been intense, and filled with gratitude. One time, into my head, and out of my mouth came, "I'm so thankful for the commandments!" I guess my thoughts were that if only our son had obeyed the Word of Wisdom he would still be with us. The commandments keep us safe and out of Satan's power.

Elder David E. Sorensen of the Presidency of the Seventy spoke of sin (specifically pornography) as a deeply poisonous, deceptive snake that lies coiled up [everywhere]. "Often the world makes these dangers look harmless--even exciting and interesting. But petting such snakes fills the mind with poison--poison that drives away the Holy Spirit." Some sins also can literally poison the body and allow evil in.

Whenever we sin, in whatever way, we drive away the Holy Spirit. And the more we continue in sin the harder it is to get back to worthiness to have the Spirit with us.

Our son was trying to come back, he was working with his bishop and attending AA meetings, sometimes. But the hold alcohol had on him was stronger than he could resist, and each wrong choice led to more wrong choices. He hid so much from us, and then it was too late.

Elder John H. Groberg said, "Remember, the sand castles we build on the beaches of mortality, no matter how elaborate, will eventually be washed away by the tide. Only purity of hand, heart, and mind will allow us to tap into the ultimate power of the priesthood to truly bless others and eventually be able to build eternal mansions more beautiful and lasting than we can presently imagine."

My heart is filled with gratitude for the Savior and His great plan of mercy to allow us to repent and be cleansed from sin, and rescued from death. We each are on a trek from Babylon to the Promised Land with dangers on every side. There are casualties and hardships all along the way, but we must never give up or give in. We must press forward with steadfastness in Christ, relying wholly on Him to guide and succor us along the way.

James

We have set up a donation site at GoFundme for any who want to contribute to help settle James' affairs and cover funeral expenses. 

Our Son

 

James Frederick Thoelke
17 September 1996 - 24 April 2023

Our precious son took his life yesterday. He had struggled for many years with deep feelings of worthlessness, and alcohol, a dangerous combination. The demons who tormented him wore him down to where he couldn't take anymore.

He leaves a huge hole in our hearts and will be missed until we all graduate from this mortal boarding school and meet again. My mother was with us, by my bedside, when James was born, I think she held him first. His was the only one of our children's baptisms that my parents were able to attend. I hope they were the first to greet him on the other side.

I'm so grateful for the bedrock of my testimony and can say, like Job of old, "I know that my redeemer liveth, and that he shall stand at the latter day upon the earth: And though after my skin worms destroy this body, yet in my flesh shall I see God." (Job 19:25-26)

Comforting Voices

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday afternoon session of the October 2000 conference.

Listening to this session of conference was comforting to me during a week of personal upheaval. Just hearing the voices, some familiar, others not, comforted my churned up heart. It didn't matter what the subject, comforting as each was, it was the voices of calm, loving men speaking words of wisdom and encouragement that was most comforting.

President Boyd K. Packer's gravelly voice spoke of much needed truths about the sacredness of our bodies, which would heal so many if his counsel was heeded today. "There is in your body the supernal power to create life. Boys grow up to be men and may become fathers; girls grow up to be women and may become mothers. Natural and good feelings draw men and women together." Not at all what current, strident voices want us to believe. The world needs prophets and apostles more than ever!

I appreciated Elder H. Aldridge Gillespie's talk on The Blessings of Keeping the Sabbath Day Holy. It was a good reminder to refrain from worldly pursuits, and to be more active doing the Lord's work on His day. This has always been a struggle in our family because my husband was raised in a different faith, and was not associated with any faith when we met and married. Old habits die hard when there is no understanding of a gospel principle and little commitment to change. It was good to hear another testimony!

Elder Robert C. Oaks' talk on Sharing the Gospel hit a nerve with me. I live a fairly secluded life. I don't "go to work" ever, our children are all grown so I don't have a reason to meet with any other parents. I'm not a member of any organization or group other than church. I've tried to be active in the community, but nothing seems to work for me and I haven't been able to make any friends in our town. Sharing the gospel is difficult when I don't know any non-members. That's not a good excuse though, and I need to find a way that is normal and natural to me. This talk was a good reminder to seek the Spirit to help me.

Lead, Kindly Light

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday morning session of the October 2000 conference.

In the second area I served in as a missionary we walked much of the time to save miles on the mission car. We covered three towns, the branch was in the middle town and the other two were about thirty miles away to the north and south. As we'd walk home in the dark we often sang the hymn Lead, Kindly Light to calm our (my) nervous souls. I loved that hymn before my mission, I loved it while serving, and I've come to love it even more in the many years since I served. 

Sister Virginia U. Jensen, First Counselor in the Relief Society General Presidency used this hymn as the theme of her talk. 

The light of Jesus Christ is stronger than any darkness we face in this life, if we have faith in Him, seek after Him, and obey Him.

 

I remember a line Lord of the Rings from Gandalf, referring to a darkness spreading over the land. When I heard it in the film I thought it perfectly described the last days when the wickedness and power of Satan would cover the world. We seem to be there.

 

We can find ourselves in places of darkness from time to time. We may wander into dark, spiritual caverns when we make foolish choices, admit harmful influences into our lives, or turn away from the light of the gospel to embrace the world just a little longer. It may seem harmless at first--just a little exploring, that's all. Before we know it, we become separated from the light and left in darkness alone. Why do we remain in darkness when such rescuing light awaits us? Let us bask in the warm and illuminating light provided by the gospel of Jesus Christ. Let the Savior's kindly light lead us one step at a time. Let covenants and commandments keep us safe as we follow the gospel pathway to our heavenly home.

With the world's path darkening by the day, and perversions and sin celebrated in the media, the light of the Gospel of Jesus Christ shines more brightly than ever. We can be safely led through the valley of the shadow of death and fear no evil by following the Good Shepherd's light to our eternal home.

We have children who have turned off the path, or are struggling to stay on the path, lured by the ways of the world. It grieves my heart when they turn from the light and blunder into the dark. I cling to the promise of the prophets and apostles that there is no one so far away in the dark that the light of the Savior's Atonement can't reach. 

Sister Jensen began her talk with a story about a ten year old boy who spent five days trapped in the pitch-black darkness of an abandoned mine. Now at the time of the talk he was Elder Dennis in Honduras "sharing a message of hope, salvation, and light."

What he teaches every day is the paradox he experienced as a young boy lost in a mine: that amidst the encircling gloom, amidst the darkest possible circumstances, it is possible to feel hope, peace, and comfort--all because of the light which is stronger than all darkness, the light of Jesus Christ.