Provident Living

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday morning session of the April 2009 conference.

It's hard to believe that twenty years ago I was a presenter at BYU Women's Conference. The subject was "Facing Financial Challenges through Provident Living." At the time my husband was in his last year at BYU, we had five children ages 16 to 7, and we were the proverbial starving student family. (We advised all our children to go to college while young because babies don't feel poor, but teens sure feel the pinch.) I had given a class at a Relief Society activity in our ward at which our Stake RS president also taught a class. Turns out she was on one of the BYU conference committees and when the subject of provident living was chosen she said she knew just the right sister to present on that subject. I got a letter in the mail in December inviting me to do so. I burst into tears! Then in January at our first information meeting we were told that all our names had to be cleared with the prophet and president of the church, at the time Gordon B. Hinckley, and I cried all over again. It turned out to be among the best experiences I've ever had. (I have often wished I could do it again.)

In this General Conference sessions Elder Robert D. Hales addressed the same subject. (And said many of the same things I did; so nice to be in sync with an apostle!) 

. . . for both debt and addiction, the hopeful solution is the same--we must turn to the Lord and follow His commandments. We must want more than anything else to change our lives so that we can break the cycle of debt and our uncontrolled wants. . . . you will be filled with hope in our Savior, Jesus Christ, and find hope in the doctrines of His restored gospel.

He talked about the challenge of overcoming temptations. "Each temptation we overcome is to strengthen us, not destroy us. . . . Our success is never measured by how strongly we are tempted but by how faithfully we respond. We must ask for help from our Heavenly Father and seek strength through the Atonement of His Son, Jesus Christ. In both temporal and spiritual things." 

Elder Hales gives examples from his own experience about lessons learned. First was being told by his wife that they couldn't afford the beautiful dress he wanted her to have. "I have learned that the three most loving words are 'I love you,' and the four most caring words for those we love are 'We can't afford it.'"

Second, later when they were more financially secure he wanted to buy his wife a lovely fur coat during a time when she was a ward Relief Society president helping to minister to needy families. She asked, "Are you buying this for me or for you?" She wanted to know if "the purpose of the gift [is] to show your love for me, or to show me that you are a good provider or to prove something to the world?"

He says "These two lessons are the essence of provident living. When faced with the choice to buy, consume, or engage in worldly things and activities, we all need to learn to say to one another, 'We can't afford it, even though we want it!' or 'We can afford it but we don't need it--and we really don't even want it.'"

Plenty of people complain today about not being able to afford a home yet are mired in debt for things they can't even remember, meals, outings, movies, drinks, clothes, and such. The shackles of student loan debt is another example of the consequences of not following the counsel of God to stay out of debt.

I invite you to come unto Him and hear His words: "Wherefore, do not spend money for that which is of no worth, nor your labor for that which cannot satisfy. Hearken diligently unto me, and remember the words which I have spoken; and come unto the Holy One of Israel, and feast upon that which perisheth not, neither can be corrupted." (2 Nephi 9:51) 

 This was a memorable talk that has become one of the classics referred to again and again. There is even a little video made from the story about buying the dress.

I have such a strong testimony of the blessings that come from living the Lord's financial commandments. I saw it in my parent's lives, as well as good friends whom I've known for many years. I've also seen in my own marriage what happens when choices are disobedient to the commandments. It's not pleasant. Thank God we have the gifts of repentance, forgiveness and second chances.

Fulfilling the Purpose of Relief Society

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the General Relief Society session of the October 2008 conference.

We attend church in a small branch in Minnesota. Our branch covers a large area with members living in 25 different towns in two states. The largest of those 25 is where the church building is and has a population of just under 11,000. The smallest town where members live has 167 residents. This area is mostly rural farmland. We live in the second largest town with a population of 4,700. There are four members in our town. Previously there were a few more but an elderly couple moved to Arizona and an elderly brother died.

When we first moved here the sister half of the elderly couple, who moved to Arizona, was not really active in Relief Society. She had found another women's group who better met her needs for sociality and service. I encouraged her to come to Relief Society and she eventually did and we enjoyed attending the few activities that happened together.

After living here for almost eight years I can understand why she sought out sisterhood and service in another organization. I have too. 

For whatever reasons (and there were many given, and many excuses made) the Relief Society here rarely did anything, either social or service.  Finally, last fall, after a suggestion to the RS President two sisters were called to head up the activities, and there have been a few more socials. Attempts have been made to do something in the way of community service but so far it hasn't worked out.

The sisters are generally good for service when there is a funeral or new baby born, but not so much in continuing efforts in the community. I think it is sad that we don't do more to serve which would raise the profile of the church here and help further missionary efforts. But no one asks me, and I'm not in charge.

In 2008 Sister Julie B. Beck, General President of the Relief Society said, "It is time for Relief Society to fulfill its purpose as never before. To move forward and achieve what the Lord desires, we must clearly understand the purpose of Relief Society. . . . The purpose of Relief Society, as established by the Lord, is to organize, teach, and inspire His daughters to prepare them for the blessings of eternal life."

She goes on to talk about 1) Increase in faith and personal righteousness, 2) Strengthen families and homes, 3) Serve the Lord and His children.

"Families worldwide are being assaulted and weakened by corrupt practices and false teachings. Therefore, whether we are married or single, old or young, we have a duty to defend and practice the truths found in 'The Family: A Proclamation to the World.' . . . Children being born now are growing up in an increasingly sinful world. Our homes are to be the refuge from the daily encounters they have with evil." 

Sister Beck tells of being a young married when her mother moved far away. Her mother counseled her, "If I never come back, if you never see me again, if I'm never able to teach you another thing, you tie yourself to Relief Society. Relief Society will be your mother. . . . I began from that time to learn abundantly from women of stature and faith."

I never lived near my mother because my husband's career in the military took us far away from her. I always looked to the sisters in Relief Society as my sisters, mothers, aunts and grandmothers. I asked a lot of older women for advice and counsel and learned so much from them.

I also learned from the many, many activities (lessons, workshops, demonstrations, interest groups, etc.) we had. And in a few of the places we lived the Relief Society was involved in community service.

My testimony of the benefits and work of Relief Society began early when my father was in college and my mother worked. We lived in my grandparent's basement and I spent my days in her care. She was a member of a Relief Society presidency and a doer! We visited lots of sisters, at home, and in the hospital. I got to go to Relief Society with her each week (in the olden days when RS was on a weekday morning) and my favorite time was "work day" when they made quilts and other lovely things, and had a delicious luncheon. To my mind Relief Society was the place where things happened! It was the best place in the church. I remember as a teen being really eager to be an adult so I could attend Relief Society. (Of course, the whole program changed while I was on my mission with the advent of the "block program" with everything on Sunday. That was a huge disappointment to me and Relief Society never seemed the same.) There have been times and places in my adult life when I have felt energized by Relief Society and other times and places where it is the opposite. I totally understand why my friend sought out other opportunities to socialize and serve with another group of women. 

Oh that we could have a Relief Society revival and return to increasing our testimonies of the Savior; learning homemaking and parenting skills; and getting involved in regular community service to lift others from despair and poverty, both spiritual and physical.

Sister Beck continues to inspire me!

Life is Hard

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday afternoon session of the October 2008 conference.

This session had some memorable talks, one of which was given by apostle Elder Quentin L. Cook titled, "Hope Ya Know, We Had a Hard Time."

As I listened to this talk I thought of our current family challenge of one of my niece's three year old son being diagnosed with leukemia just last month. This is a new challenge for us, but I believe we'll get through it as we have the many others that have come our way. 

"One of the essential doctrines illuminated by the Restoration is that there must be opposition in all things for righteousness to be brought to pass. This life is not always easy, nor was it meant to be; it is a time of testing and proving."

Going through the trial of our son's suicide has been the most difficult thing I've ever experienced. It was so final and unfixable. There was nothing I could do to change the outcome; no way for another chance to do things differently. But through it all I have felt the love of my Heavenly Father and Savior. We have experienced so many tender mercies that I know He loves us and knows our pain. It has strengthened my resolve to pass my test and be found worthy of the blessings I desire in the eternities.

Life is hard! For everyone. And all our tests are tailor made to refine us and teach us eternal truths. Fortunately it's an open book test and we can ask the headmaster all the questions we want and at the appropriate time He will help us find the answers. I know this is true!

Christian Courage

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday morning session of the October 2008 conference.

Frequently I listen to my husband and oldest son describe an antagonistic or argumentative exchange they've participated in online. I don't understand why they engage in such, but they are adults and get to choose for themselves. I refuse to argue with anyone online. It is unproductive and dismisses the Spirit faster than you can say, "You're wrong!" 

Christians in general, and members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in particular, are often under attack for our beliefs, values, and morals. Satan doesn't want us to believe or act on our beliefs so he influences his followers to attack and accuse us of anything and everything.

Elder Robert D. Hales spoke of having Christian courage to follow the Savior's example. "But when we respond to our accusers as the Savior did, we not only become more Christlike, we invite others to feel His love and follow Him as well. . . . When we do not retaliate--when we turn the other cheek and resist feelings of anger--we too stand with the Savior. We show forth His love, which is the only power that can subdue the adversary and answer our accusers without accusing them in return. That is not weakness. That is Christian courage."

I so enjoy Elder Hales' soft spoken delivery. He epitomizes his statement, "True disciples speak with quiet confidence, not boastful pride." 

There is enough stress and strife in the world today without adding our two cents to it. I should be spreading good cheer, the good news of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and encouragement wherever I can. Lifting someone's sagging spirit is an act of service; finding the good in someone, the silver lining in a situation, are also acts of service. As President Nelson said, "Peacemakers Needed!" and that takes Christian courage. Elder Hales ended his talk with the prayer "That we may share His eternal, unconditional love with our brothers and sisters everywhere,". I think that's as needed today as it ever was.

General Conference Talks Answer Questions!

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Priesthood session of the October 2008 conference.

For many years I've felt less than. Less than the women featured in Church News articles, or church magazine articles, less than others called to positions of leadership. Because I don't have a college degree, because my chosen career has been wife, mother and homemaker. 

I've often wondered if there will be a different value system in the next life where those who chose to magnify the calling of wife and mother will be more valued than those who gave their life's effort to being a corporate executive or business owner or any other mortal pursuit. I've recently asked myself numerous times if I wasted my life? Should I have pursued a career outside my home? Was I too lazy to do so, and did I just take the easy road?

I'm not uneducated. Over the years I've read voraciously on many subjects: architecture, geography, history, medical science, exercise and nutrition, efficiency and organization, color theory, music, biology, and anything else that interested me. I can hold my own in just about any conversation. I'm curious about the world around me and would have made a great detective or journalist--I love to ask questions!

As a new member of the First Presidency, President Dieter F. Uchtdorf gave a memorable talk titled, "Lift Where You Stand". Among other things, he talks about the example of the Savior going about serving others and then says, "In spite of this shining example, we too easily and too often get caught up in seeking the honors of men rather than serving the Lord will all our might, mind, and strength. Brethren, [or sisters!] when we stand before the Lord to be judged, will He look upon the positions we have held in the world or even in the Church? Do you suppose that titles we have had other than 'husband,' [wife] 'father' [mother], or 'priesthood holder' [Relief Society sister] will mean much to Him? Do you think He will care how packed our schedule was or how many important meetings we attended? Do you suppose that our success in filling our days with appointments will serve as an excuse for failure to spend time with our wife [husband] and family? The Lord judges so very differently from the way we do. He is pleased with the noble servant, not with the self-serving noble." 

That gives me peace! I haven't wasted my life serving my family and in the church.  My choices to stay home, homeschool our children and serve in the church are pleasing to the Lord. I don't need to listen to my doubts.

Another question that was answered by this talk is about premonitions. Several times over the years I've had the distinct feeling that I was going to be called to a particular calling. And then it didn't happen. That has puzzled me for years! Did I listen to the wrong voice? Did I misinterpret the prompting? What was going on?

Elder Uchtdorf explains, "Sometimes He grants spiritual promptings telling us that we are worthy to receive certain callings. This is a spiritual blessing, a tender mercy from God. But sometimes we do not hear the rest of what the Lord is telling us. 'Although you are worthy to serve in this position,' He may say, 'this is not my calling for you. It is my desire instead that you lift where you stand.' God knows what is best for us."

What a relief! I did hear the right voice. I just didn't hear the full message. 

I'm really grateful for the scriptures we call General Conference talks. They truly are the word of the Lord to us; with answers to questions revealed in the Lord's timing, when we're ready to receive them. I know I'd read or heard this particular talk previously, but I didn't get the specific answers that I heard this time around. It's a nice tender mercy to experience.