Teaching to Understand

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday morning session of the April 2012 General Conference.

My mom worked as a secretary at an adult night school until I was about eight or nine. We had dinner at 5:00 each night and then she would leave to go to work. My older siblings would clean up from dinner, and then at bedtime dad would put my younger brother and I to bed. He was never as gentle and kind as my mom. When I was eight or nine, the bishop counseled my parents that my mother should quit work and stay home as my older siblings were teens and needed her home more than we needed any money she was earning. My parents obeyed that counsel and she found other ways to bring in a little money to help the family budget.

Before I married I made sure that my husband knew that when I became a mother I'd stay home and raise our children. He didn't think we could make it on one income, but I assured him that I knew how to do it. I worked until about six weeks before our first child was born. Then again when she was 19 I took a job because my husband had lost his and we needed some income. Those two years I worked were some of the worst ever.

Sister Cheryl A. Esplin, Second Counselor in the Primary General Presidency, talked about teaching children to not only know the doctrine but, as we are instructed in Doctrine and Covenants 68:25, to understand the doctrine.

She tells a wonderful story of her daughter and granddaughter's experience with a teaching moment, then says, "These moments are spontaneous and unplanned and happen in the normal flow of family life. They come and go quickly, so we need to be alert and recognize a teaching moment when our children come to us with a question or worry, when they have problems getting along with siblings or friends, when they need to control their anger, when they make a mistake, or when they need to make a decision."

Because of a confluence of forces today there are very few stay-at-home mothers. Women are stretched to the breaking point with being a wife, mother, homemaker and breadwinner. Families allow or encourage their children to be in so many after school activities that there is little to no time for parents to pick up on those spontaneous and unplanned teaching moments. If they do recognize them, most are too tired and stressed to act upon them. 

I don't know what the answer is for each individual, that will require individuals, couples and families to study, ponder and pray about their situation; but I'm sure grateful my mother was obedient to the counsel to stay home.

Sister Esplin explains, "We can know our children are beginning to understand the doctrine when we see it revealed in their attitudes and actions without external threats or rewards. As our children learn to understand gospel doctrines, they become more self-reliant and more responsible. They become part of the solution to our family challenges and make a positive contribution to the environment of our home and the success of our family."

That sounds wonderful.   

Face the Future with Faith!

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday afternoon session of the April 2011 conference.

Elder Russell M. Nelson's address about faith is certainly timely in light of the condition of the world today. I'm so grateful for apostles and prophets (are they one and the same?). 

At the beginning of this year my sister asked me if I'd like to go on a trip to New England and Prince Edward Island in October. We made some plans but towards the end of the summer she confessed that she was fearful of social conditions and didn't want to go. We ended up going to Utah for a lovely week together. But we missed out on all the interesting historical sites in New England, and the life-long dream of seeing the place of Anne of Green Gables. Oh well. Maybe another time.

We live in a time of turmoil. Earthquakes and tsunamis weak devastation, governments collapse, economic stresses are severe, the family is under attack, and divorce rates are rising. We have great cause for concern. But we do not need to let our fears displace our faith. We can combat those fears by strengthening our faith.

We strengthen our faith by doing the things we learned in Primary: praying, studying the scriptures and words of modern prophets, participating in church meetings, worshipping in the temple, giving service to our fellow students in this mortal boarding school.

Elder Nelson encourages us to "start with your children." Teaching them by our words and actions to have faith in the Savior Jesus Christ, faith in God's plan of salvation, faith to keep all the commandments. 

Warn them that they will encounter people who pick which commandments they will keep and ignore others that they choose to break. I call this the cafeteria approach to obedience. This practice of picking and choosing will not work. It will lead to misery. To prepare to meet God, one keeps all of His commandments. It takes faith to obey them, and keeping His commandments will strengthen that faith.

I've learned as a parent that children pick up on any hypocrisy displayed by adults. They want to trust in parents and leaders whose actions match their words. This is also called integrity. We adults need to be the "do as I do" variety, not the "do as I say" kind. It's difficult and tiring, but it also gives us opportunities to teach about repentance and forgiveness as we confess our mistakes and press forward working on improving.

One commandment Elder Nelson mentions specifically is tithing.

To develop enduring faith, an enduring commitment to be a full-tithe payer is essential. Initially it takes faith to tithe. Then the tithe payer develops more faith to the point that tithing become a precious privilege. Tithing is an ancient law from God. He made a promise to His children that He would open "the windows of heaven, and pour out . . . a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it." Not only that, tithing will keep your name enrolled among the people of God and protect you in "the day of vengeance and burning."

Interestingly, two days before he ended his life, our son received some money (I don't know what kind of payment it was) and he did two things: paid tithing and went to the grocery store. He didn't always attend church, but he always paid tithing. He had a firm testimony of the blessings from living that commandment. 

Elder Nelson asks, "Why do we need such resilient faith? Because difficult days are ahead. Rarely in the future will it be easy or popular to be a faithful Latter-day Saint. Each of us will be tested."

After our son died I wanted to quit life too, not seriously, but it just seemed too hard to keep going. Except that I knew I needed to pass my tests if I wanted to be with my son in an eternal family. No giving up allowed! Elder Nelson said, "You faithful Saints do not have to fight life's battles alone. Think of that! The Lord declared, 'I will contend with him that contented with thee, and I will save thy children.'" That promise keeps me going.

  

 

Living Without Fear

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday morning session of the October 2010 conference.

When I was a little girl my older brothers actively worked to frighten me by telling me about monsters, then, at night, sneaking outside to tap on my window. I was petrified of being alone in the dark. It wasn't until long into adulthood that I conquered my fears. I promised that I would never knowingly tease or teach my children to be fearful, or allow them to do that to each other.

We moved to Provo when our children were 13 to 4. Our boys were active in Cub Scouts and 11 year old Scouts. They had friends who were fearful of walking down the hill from their house to ours for Scout activities. They were terrified of being kidnapped. I incredulously asked, "In Provo? Two blocks from BYU?" (This is in 2002) I wondered where they had learned to be so afraid and chalked it up to being in public school where children are routinely traumatized by everything, from weather patterns to carbohydrates, being catastrophized into huge monsters to fear. Our children were homeschooled and I kept my promise to not teach them to be fearful.

I thought about all this as I studied Sister Rosemary M. Wixom's talk "Stay on the Path".  She said, "If they understand the plan and who they are, they will not fear." I love that! 

Heavenly Father doesn't want us to go through life afraid. He watches over us like the loving parent He is. We, who know the Plan, can teach and guide our children to see mortality as a place of learning and obedience, with wonderful opportunities to experience the glories of Heavenly Father's handiwork. 

The world will teach our children if we do not, and children are capable of learning all the world will teach them at a very young age. What we want them to know five years from now needs to be part of our conversation with them today. Teach them in every circumstance; let every dilemma, every consequence, every trial that they may face provide an opportunity to teach them how to hold on to gospel truths.

My children are all adults now but I still try to teach them through my example and words. I look for ways to praise them and encourage them as they travel the path I've already been down. I want my conscience to be clear that I've done the best I could to teach them.

Elder Renlund spoke of being fearful in the most recent conference. "It is not just children who may feel this way. The best advice for her, for you, and for me is to follow the Savior's teachings. His instructions are neither mysterious nor complex. When we follow them, we do not need to fear or be anxious."

We live in the most marvelous time of all mortality! We have the most amazing conveniences and technology! We have the fullness of the Gospel of Jesus Christ with priesthood power restored, and temples dotting the land! This is not a time to be fearful, but to press forward with steadfast faith in Jesus Christ, preparing for His return in Glory. 

 

Not So Random Thoughts

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday afternoon session of the April 2010 conference.

Elder L. Tom Perry - The leaders of the Church spend a great deal of time thinking about how to improve teaching in the Church. Why do we invest this time and effort? It is because we believe in the immense power of teaching to increase the faith of individuals and strengthen families.

During my service as a Relief Society president I asked the Branch President if we could use the Sunday School time for all of the adults in the branch to participate in the teacher improvement course. His response was that he couldn't stop the whole branch to do that. He felt that too many of the adults would never become stellar teachers. I said that probably was true but they could become better students, better Sacrament Meeting speakers, and better Family Home Evening leaders in their own homes. Nope, he wouldn't consent to do it. So we plowed on ahead with untrained, inadequate teachers in just about every class. I felt so bad that he didn't see the value of "sharpening the saw" in the branch.

Elder D. Todd Christofferson - The word of God, as Alma said, is like a seed planted in our hearts that produces faith as it begins to grow within us (See Alma 32:27-43; see also Romans 10:13-17). Faith will not come from the study of ancient texts as a purely academic pursuit. It will not come from archaeological digs and discoveries. It will not come from scientific experiments. It will not even come from witnessing miracles. These things may serve to confirm faith, or at times to challenge it, but they do not create faith. Faith comes by the witness of the Holy Spirit to our souls, Spirit to spirit, as we hear or read the word of God. And faith matures as we continue to feast upon the word.

In my life I had some wonderful teachers to ignite my love of the gospel through the scriptures, beginning with my father and grandfather. Seminary and Institute teachers guided my study for a half dozen years before I served a mission and delved deeper into the word of God each day in preparation for teaching it to others. Before I ever heard Elder Bednar teach it, I found patterns and connections in the scriptures that spoke to my heart and I felt the confirmation of the Spirit of their truthfulness.

Elder Bruce A. Carlson - . . . strict obedience to God's laws brings His blessings and failure to abide by His laws leads to foreseeable consequences. . . . faithful obedience, regardless of the apparent size of the task, will bring the Lord's guidance, assistance and peace.

We are commanded to study the scriptures and teach them to one another. Is it any wonder that the Church invests time and effort to help us? Why are local leaders to reluctant to utilize the help available and more firmly encourage improvement? I do not understand it.

Elder David A. Bednar - Such learning requires spiritual, mental, and physical exertion and not just passive reception. . . . What a glorious opportunity for family members to search the scriptures together and to be tutored by the Holy Ghost. . . . The spiritual discernment and inspiration you will receive from the combination of these three holy habits [Reading and talking about the Book of Mormon, Bearing testimony spontaneously, Inviting children to act] will enable you to stand as watchmen on the tower for your families--"watching. . . with all perseverance" (Ephesians 6:18)--to the blessing of your immediate family and your future posterity.

Oh how we need to be better learners and teachers. Many come to church hungering and thirsting for doctrine as well as strength and fellowship. I know I do! I don't want gospel "twinkies", I want a rich spread to feast upon and discuss with others as we share our insights, testimonies, and experiences.

"Mom, Are We Christians?"

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday afternoon session of the April 2007 conference.

I taught Primary for three years recently and began each year with spending a few minutes each Sunday teaching the children (they were 5-7 year olds, preparing for baptism) what I call "The Basics".

I'd start out asking "What is the name of our church?" The most common answer was "The Fairmont Branch". I'd then teach them the correct name of the church, and then ask, "Are we Christians?" Most children said, "No." Some of them emphatically! So I'd teach them the connection between the name of the church and who is the head of the church and who we worship. Then I'd ask "Who is the prophet and president of the church?" "Jesus!" They'd jubilantly proclaim. So I'd show them a photo of President Nelson and introduce them to the prophet. Then we'd learn the names of his counselors and what they looked like. We'd do this every week until all the children could give correct answers to all the questions. I wanted them to know without doubts that yes, we are Christians.

Elder Gary J. Coleman told of a 14 year old girl asking her mother, "Mom, are we Christians?" My heart went out to that girl and wondered how she'd gotten to be 14 without someone teaching her the connection between the name of the church, who is the head of the church, and who we worship. 

Elder Coleman tells his story of growing up in a devout Christian home having no question in his mind that they could define themselves as Christians. 

I think too many parents think their children will get it by osmosis rather than direct teaching in Family Home Evening. Feeling compassion for the children who weren't being taught at home guided my insistence on teaching them directly in Primary.

Elder Coleman bears his testimony saying, "As a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, you are a Christian, and I am too. I am a devout Christian who is exceedingly fortunate to have greater knowledge of the true "doctrine of Christ" since my conversion to the restored Church. These truths define this Church as having the fulness of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Like other members of the Church, I now understand the true nature of the Godhead, I have access to additional scripture and revelation, and I can partake of the blessings of priesthood authority."

I so love to hear conversion stories and testimonies. I grew up in the church and have known it is true since I was a little girl. Lately I have wondered if I hadn't been born in a covenant home would I have felt a lack and consequently searched for the truth? I hope I would have. I can't imagine life without the truths of the Gospel, or the hope of eternal life to come.

Notebook Tidbit

From the notebook 30 October 2016:

Teaching true doctrine is like serving a thick delicious sandwich--there are layers; it is filling to those who partake, and it's nutritious. Unlike a "twinkie" or other fake food.