My
earliest memory of my own father is of him giving me a blessing when I was
between two and three years old and very ill. It was the first of many that I
received at his hand through the years. As soon as the blessing was completed I
fell asleep and began to heal.
I
think that experience planted the seed in my mind and heart that I wanted to
marry a righteous man who would be able to bless me and my own children.
Many
years passed before I met Steve. Although not a member of this or any other
church, he impressed me on our first date with his strong desire to marry and
have a large family. His greatest hope was to become a Dad.
As
we dated, I was further impressed with his work ethic, his gentlemanly manners,
as well as his kindness and patience. He seemed to me to have all the right
qualities to make a good husband and father.
After
we’d been married a few months he asked me, “If the church means so much to
you, why did you marry me, a non-member?” It took me a few days to answer as I
had to ponder and attempt to put into words some deep spiritual feelings.
Finally, I said, “I can teach you the gospel anytime you want to learn. But I
can’t teach you to be a good man, hardworking, kind and patient, with a good
sense of humor. You just had to come that way.”
From
The Family: A Proclamation to the World, we learn that “By divine design fathers
are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are
responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their
families.”
I’ve
long felt that it is not just physical dangers that a husband and father are to
protect us from, but maybe more importantly they are to protect us from
spiritual dangers as well.
When
Steve was ready, he listened to the missionaries and chose to make sacred
covenants in the waters of baptism, and then in the temple, where we were
sealed as a family with the first three of our five children.
The
gospel of Jesus Christ and the Priesthood of God has added to and enhanced all
Steve’s goodness over the past 23 years.
No
matter what your own father was or is like, I believe we can learn much that
will benefit us from the examples of righteous fathers in the scriptures.
Father
Adam is a good place to start. After he and Mother Eve were cast out of the
Garden we’re told “that Adam began to till the earth, and to have dominion over
all the beasts of the field, and to eat his bread by the sweat of his brow, as
I the Lord had commanded him. And Eve, also, his wife, did labor with him. And
Adam knew his wife, and she bare unto him sons and daughters, and they began to
multiply and to replenish the earth. And from that time forth, the sons and
daughters of Adam began to divide two and two in the land, and to till the
land, and to tend flocks, and they also begat sons and daughters.” (Moses
5:1-3)
No
doubt Adam and Eve had their children work alongside of them to teach them all
they would need to know to be successful farmers and herdsmen, mothers and
fathers.
They
continued faithfully doing all that the Lord had commanded them and were one
day visited by an angel and taught more about the Father’s Great Plan of
Happiness. Afterward “. . . Adam blessed the name of God and they made all
things known unto their sons and their daughters.” (Moses 5:12)
“And
a book of remembrance was kept in the which was recorded, in the language of
Adam, for it was given unto as many as called upon God to write by the Spirit
of inspiration. And by them (meaning the books of remembrance) their children
were taught to read and write, having a language which was pure and undefiled.
. . and a genealogy was kept of the children of God.” (Moses 6:5-6, 8)
Elder
D. Todd Christofferson, a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, said,
“If by his example as well as his words a father can demonstrate what fidelity
to God looks like in day-to-day living, that father will have given his
children the key to peace in this life and eternal life in the world to come. A
father who reads scripture to and with his children acquaints them with the
voice of the Lord.” (Ensign, May 2016, page 94)
Our
responsibilities are reiterated in the Family Proclamation.
Parents have a sacred duty to rear their
children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual
needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the
commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands
and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the
discharge of these obligations.
Adam
is truly our first and best mortal example of Fatherhood in action.
My
next example is Abram, later named Abraham. Although Abraham was raised by an
unrighteous father who had strayed far from the gospel path, he sought for the
blessings of the gospel and priesthood even moving far away to a strange land
to get away from the unrighteousness of his father and seeking out those who
could give him the blessings he sought.
Years
later as an old man Abraham, with his wife Sarah, was blessed with a son. While
Isaac was still a young man Abraham was tested by God and asked to give his son
as a sacrifice. The scriptures do not record any complaint or questioning by
Abraham, even though sacrificing his only son would leave him without the
posterity promised by God. He rose up early in the morning and prepared all
that would be needed for the burnt offering and took his son Isaac to the
mountainous place as commanded. As they prepared to leave Isaac questioned what
they were doing as there wasn’t a lamb for the offering. Abraham calmly replied
that God would provide a lamb. When they arrived at the designated place and
all was ready, including Isaac bound and laying on the pile of wood, an angel
of the Lord called Abraham from heaven, and Abraham immediately answered, “Here
am I.” The angel said, “Lay not thine hand upon the lad, neither do thou
anything unto him: for now I know that thou fearest God, seeing thou hast not
withheld thy son, thine only son from me.” (Gen. 22:1-1)
It
was at that time that the Lord reminded Abraham of his blessings that included
posterity as numerous as the stars in the heavens and the sands upon the seashore;
and that all the nations of the earth would be blessed through that very
posterity.
When
we are obedient to God’s commandments He stands ready to bless us in ways we
can’t yet imagine. We don’t even have to go through enormous tests like
Abrahams. When we do what the current prophet asks of us, such as read and
study the Book of Mormon daily, we qualify for the blessings of God poured out
on us and our families.
The
fact that obedience brings blessings is an eternal truth: “There is a law, [we
are told,] irrevocably decreed in heaven before the foundations of this world,
upon which all blessings are predicated. And when we obtain any blessing from
God, it is by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated.” (D&C
130:20-21)
Abraham’s
righteous desire for posterity was granted after he was completely obedient to
God’s commandments, even being willing to give up the one son he did have
without knowing how the desired blessing would come about. We can learn to
trust God, obeying his commandments even when we don’t understand them by
learning from Abraham’s example.
Lehi,
a prophet contemporary with Jeremiah and Daniel, is another example of
obedience. He was called to preach repentance to the people in Jerusalem, which
he did faithfully, until their murderous designs made it unsafe to stay there.
The Lord commanded Lehi to take his family and flee into the wilderness. For
eight long years they traveled and rested; while Lehi’s children married and
began families of their own. His two oldest sons regularly complained,
questioned and made life miserable for the rest of the family. They had been
taught the same things Nephi had been taught, but for whatever reason, their
spirits were contrary, and Lehi often had to call them to repent and turn from
their wickedness.
After
describing the wonders of his vision of the tree of life to his family, Nephi
said of his father Lehi, “. . . because of things which he saw in a vision, he
exceedingly feared for Laman and Lemuel; yea, he feared lest they should be
cast off from the presence of the Lord. And he [Lehi} did exhort them then with
all the feelings of a tender parent, that they would hearken to his words, . .
. yea, my father did preach unto them. And after he had preached unto them, . .
. he bade them to keep the commandments of the Lord;” (1 Nephi 8:36-38)
What
a good example for fathers! He didn’t yell at, hit, or belittle his sons. He
spoke to them with tender feelings, calling them to repent; he preached to or
taught them; and he bade them, or invited them, to keep the commandments.
Again
from Elder Christofferson, “When a father provides correction, his motivation
must be love and his guide the Holy Spirit. . . .Discipline in the divine
pattern is not so much about punishment as it is about helping a loved one
along the path of self-mastery.” (Ensign, May 2016, page 95)
Alma,
former priest of King Noah, is another example of a good father. One of his
sons was so wicked that he was persecuting members of the church and causing
all kinds of trouble. When this wicked son was at his worst he was struck down
by a visit from an angel sent from God. The angel said to Alma, the younger,
“Behold, the Lord hath heard the prayers of his people, and also the prayers of
his servant, Alma, who is thy father; for
he has prayed with much faith concerning thee that thou mightest be brought
to the knowledge of the truth; therefore, for this purpose have I come to
convince thee of the power and authority of God, that the prayers of his servants might be answered according to their
faith.” (Mosiah 27:14, emphasis added)
“Now
the astonishment of Alma was so great that he became dumb, that he could not
open his mouth; and he became weak, even that he could not move his hands;
therefore he was taken by those that were with him, and carried helpless, even
until he was laid before his father.” (Mosiah 27:19)
Alma
the elder, listened to the report of what had happened and then called his
priests together and they began to fast and pray for his son “that the eyes of
the people might be opened to see and know of the goodness and glory of God.”
(Mosiah 27:22) They fasted and prayed for two days and nights! Alma the younger
recovered, repented, and went on to become a great missionary, leader and
prophet.
The
prayers of fathers regarding their children are heard and answered according to
their faith and according to the will of God. The prayers and fasting of
faithful fathers can have a great effect in the lives of their children.
Alma
the younger, himself is another great example of fatherhood and the value of
individual counseling with children. Chapters 36 thought 42 of Alma, in the
Book of Mormon, are the records of the counsel Alma gave to his sons Helaman,
Shiblon, and Corianton. I encourage you to read those chapters. One thing that
stands out to me is in the part to Corianton. Alma uses the words “I perceive”
many times. Blessed with and recognizing the gift of discernment, Alma knew
what was troubling Corianton, what questions he had and how to answer them.
Worthy
fathers can have the same inspiration in their stewardship over their children.
We can’t see into the heart and mind of another without the help of the Lord.
As we live righteously, obeying the commandments and keeping our covenants we
will be worthy instruments in the Lord’s hands to teach and train up our
children.
My
last example of a righteous father is one about whom we know very little.
However, he had one of the most important fatherhood positions of all time.
Joseph, of Nazareth, was called to be the earthly father/guardian of Heavenly
Father’s only begotten son in the flesh, Jesus the Christ.
Matthew
tells us that Joseph was a just man; when told his betrothed Mary, was
expecting a child that was not his, “he was not willing to make her a publick
example, [but] was minded to put her away privily.” (Matthew 1:19)
Joseph
didn’t act hastily either, he pondered the situation, and as he did so, an
angel appeared to him and explained the circumstances and told him not to fear
taking Mary to wife.
It
is obvious to me that Joseph was a righteous and spiritual man because he was
visited by angels, given instruction and then he followed the instructions.
As
far as we can read about him in the scriptures he seems to be kind, patient,
tender hearted, a totally good man. He raised a child that wasn’t his, teaching
him what he knew and providing for him as long as he lived.
One
doesn’t have to be the physical father of a child to be a righteous influence,
a good provider, or a good teacher. We are all brothers and sisters, children
of a Heavenly Father, organized into mortal families patterned after our heavenly
family. We who arrive on earth earlier take care of those who arrive later and
together we help each other make it through this mortal boarding school so we
can graduate and return to our heavenly home.
Single
sisters, young and older, I encourage you to look for a man with righteous
qualities and then get married before having children. Give your children the
priceless gift of a righteous father.
Brothers
and sisters, character is more important than looks or wealth or any other
worldly measure when it comes to fatherhood. We can learn from the examples of
righteous fathers throughout the scriptures. Our best example is our Heavenly
Father who daily watches over us and provides for us, “h[e] who has created
[us] from the beginning, and is preserving [us] from day to day by lending [us]
breath. . . .And . . . all that he requires of [us] is to keep his
commandments; and he has promised [us] that if [we] would keep his commandments
[we] should prosper in the land; and he never . . . var[ies] from that which he
ha[s] said; therefore, if [we] . . . keep his commandments he do[es] bless [us]
and prosper [us].” (Mosiah 2:21-22)
Like
Father Adam, Abraham, and Lehi, we can be obedient to the commandments, and
teach them to our children; like Alma the Elder, we can pray in faith for our
wayward children; like Alma the Younger, who was saved by the prayers of his
faithful father, we can have the gift of discernment in teaching our children.
And like Joseph of Nazareth we can love, teach and train children who are not
our own biological children.
In
closing I’ll share more from Elder Christofferson’s magnificent talk about
fatherhood.
Let us lay aside the exaggerated notions of
individualism and autonomy in today’s culture and think first of the happiness
and well-being of others. . . . Live your life so that as a man you will bring
purity to your marriage and to your children.
(Ensign, May 2016, page 96)
I
testify that Our Father in Heaven truly loves us, wants the best for us and is
willing to forgive us when we repent and return to him. He can help us to
become more like Him and Our Savior if we will let Him.
