This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday morning session of the October 2012 General Conference.
Reading and listening to Elder Shayne M. Bowen tell about his feelings after the death of their young son brought back all the terrible and tender feelings I've had following the death of our adult son.
I was given to know that I had not been robbed but rather that there was a great blessing awaiting me if I would prove faithful.
At one point I cried out to God, "Why didn't I get a miracle?" of intervention. The Spirit whispered back to me "It was more merciful not to intervene because he was on a road to destruction." At that moment I could feel Our Father's great love for James, as well as for me. God's omniscience allows Him to see the end from the beginning, so when He says He was being merciful I believe Him.
The same feelings of loyalty, love, and family unity don't end as our loved ones pass to the other side; instead, those feelings are intensified.
I've wondered if James, from the other side, will have more influence on his wayward brothers than he ever would have while here. I hope so. He loves his brothers, and they love him!
I have learned that the bitter, almost unbearable pain can become sweet as you turn to your Father in Heaven and plead for His comfort that comes through His plan; His Son, Jesus Christ; and His Comforter, who is the Holy Ghost.
It's true! I still have moments when the pain of loss seems unbearable, when I'm so lonely for my precious son that I feel I can't go on. Then the sweet refrain, learned sixty years ago in Primary echos in my mind, "I know that my Redeemer lives; what comfort this sweet sentence gives!" My adversity and afflictions will last but a small moment, and if I endure it well, I'll be reunited with our son and have a fullness of joy.
