Doing A Great Work

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Priesthood session of the April 2009 conference.

"We live in an era of anticipation and preparation, entrusted by God to prepare ourselves, our families, our world for the approaching dawn--the day when the Son of God will 'descend from heaven with a should, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God' (I Thess. 4:16) and usher in His millennial reign."

So said then President Dieter F. Uchtdorf. This era stretches from Joseph Smith to Russell M. Nelson. As this is the last dispensation we (all who have lived or are living through it) are the ones to prepare for the Second Coming. 

"Our Heavenly Father seeks those who refuse to allow the trivial to hinder them in their pursuit of the eternal. He seeks those who will not allow the attraction of ease or the traps of the adversary to distract them from the work He has given them to perform. He seeks those whose actions conform to their words--those who say with conviction, 'I am doing a great work and cannot come down.' " 

In Relief Society there a long discussion about having time to study the gospel when "we are so busy from the time our feet hit the floor in the morning until our head hits the pillow at night." How are we to find the time? I didn't say much out loud, but in my head I was saying, "If you weren't so devoted to your careers/business/children's activities, etc., you'd have more time for the things of eternity. If you'd choose to stay home and actually be a wife, mother and homemaker, you'd have more time for the things of eternity." 

I loved what Elder D. Todd Christofferson said in the most recent conference, "One wise sister observed, 'I cannot think of a more profound way to worship God than to welcome His little ones into our lives and care for them and teach them His plan for them.' " What a profound observation! The things that the world tells us matter the most will matter the least in eternity, and conversely the things the world tells us matter the least will matter the most! But Satan has done a brilliant job distracting women from what matters most. The great work we are supposed to be doing is building the kingdom by welcoming children into our families, and rearing them in truth and righteousness. 

I wish I could have married at age 19 or 20 so I could have had five more children than I was able to. And I wish I could convince mothers to educate their children at home, avoiding satan's indoctrination centers. As hard as it was at the time I'm so grateful I was able to stay home to nurture and teach our children. I believe that the close relationships we enjoy now are the result of all the time we spent together when they were young.

My fondest hope is that in the economy of heaven motherhood will be the most important and honored "profession." It is certainly the greatest work I've ever done here, as well as the finest character builder ever devised.

When It Feels Good

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the General Relief Society session of the October 2007 conference.

It's long been said that you can tell how well you are doing with a particular gospel commandment or principle or whatever, by how you feel when it is talked about in General Conference.

Hearing Julie B. Beck, General Relief Society President, speak always gave me good feelings! She spoke of things dear to my heart and how I was trying to live.

"In order to do our part as women under the Lord's plan, we must stand strong and immovable in faith, strong and immovable in family, and strong and immovable in relief. We must excel in these three important areas which set us apart as the Lord's disciples."

"Think of our combined strength if every sister had sincere prayer every morning and night, or, better yet, prayed unceasingly as the Lord has commanded. If every family had family prayer daily and had family home evening once a week, we would be stronger. If every sister was self-reliant enough to be able to give freely of her knowledge, talents, and resources and if every sister's discipleship was reflected by what she said and what she wore, we would be immovable in that which is correct."

Sadly, I've given up on Relief Society in the branch I live in. I don't feel society or relief there. And yet there are so many good women! We just aren't organized or led in a way that builds strength individually or collectively. I miss the Relief Society of my mother's day when sisters met weekly for lessons on a variety of topics and had a "workday" once a month to produce useful and beautiful things. There was so much more "society" as sisters met together often. There was much more relief because the sisters knew each other better and could minister and support each other. The majority of the sisters were not employed outside their homes. Satan has done a great job of luring covenant women out of the home to work, only to come home stressed and tired, just giving lip service to ministering to each other, let alone any person or group outside the church. At least, that's the way I see it.

I have found other avenues of service and society in the community, but my heart still longs for the sweet sisterhood of the Relief Society of former days.

Sister Beck says to the Relief Society presidencies, "Yours is the obligation to help Latter-day Saint women excel in faith, family, and relief. You will help the gospel become a great and compelling interest to the women of the church. You will help the women perfect homemaking, parenting and marriage skills so they can fully live the gospel in their homes."

Wow! Is it just me, or do we need to hear this again and again? Well, it felt good when I heard it in 2007. I was still in the midst of mothering, and still had hope for a bright future in Relief Society. This time around I felt that too many covenant women have given in to the siren song of the world: to have a career, and/or so many activities with and for children that there is no time left for Relief Society. Or in trying to do it all there is so much stress and burnout. Do sisters not know that there are seasons of life? And that the season for raising a family shouldn't also be burdened with building a career? I wish young women would ask ME what's most important. Sister Beck knows!

Merry Christmas!

Are We Not All Mothers?

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the General Relief Society session of the October 2001 conference.

Once upon a time there was a little red-headed girl who wanted to have twelve children, and live on a farm when she grew up. She played with dolls, played pioneer, played school teacher, and loved being domestic.  Well, she grew up, had five children, homeschooled them, and lived everywhere but a farm.

Moral of the story: not all dreams come true, just the important elements. (That's my story and I'm stickin' to it.)

Sheri L. Dew spoke of motherhood in this session teaching true doctrine and giving lots of encouragement to stand strong in living and valuing the doctrine of motherhood. "It is a doctrine about which we must be clear if we hope to stand 'steadfast and immovable' regarding the issues that swirl around our gender."

. . . our Father has entrusted us as women with His children, and He has asked us to love them and help lead them safely past the dangers of mortality back home. . . . If we really want to make a difference, it will happen as we mother those we have borne and those we are willing to bear with. . . . For mother is the word that will define a righteous woman made perfect in the highest degree of the celestial kingdom, a woman who has qualified for eternal increase in posterity, wisdom, joy and influence.

I have learned more being a mother than I thought possible. More about myself, my Heavenly Father, the Savior, the world around me, and eternity. I can't imagine any other life. Motherhood, in the church, should be promoted more, even though there are some who can't or won't be mothers in this life. Motherhood is an eternal calling! It is the work of eternity. And most importantly, we will be judged and rewarded according to the desires of our hearts. 

 

From the Notebook

A talk idea from May 2016 contains some profound insight for last week's Sunday School reading from the first chapters of Matthew and Luke.

We're told in 1 Nephi 18:2 that he built his ship after the manner the Lord showed him. This is one of my favorite verses because it gives us a pattern for building our lives, after the manner the Lord shows us. The Heavenly Pattern for families is explained in The Family: A Proclamation to the World, "Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity."

1. Mary, an unmarried woman, was chosen to be the mother of Jesus.
2. Joseph was counseled to marry her, so Jesus would have an earthly father.
3. Mary was not a single mother because that is contrary to the Heavenly, eternal pattern.

I wasn't asked to give a Mother's day talk so I've never used this idea, but today as I read through my little "church" notebook (a small spiral bound book for recording things of interest to me, or insights, etc. at church) I came across this and am adding it to what I share as the teacher of Gospel Doctrine on Sunday.

What insights have you gained these past two weeks?

Mother's Day

This is a talk I gave two years ago:

The Eternal Nature of Mothers

Twenty-one years ago preparations were underway and reported on in the news for an upcoming World’s Conference on Women, to be held in August 1995 in Beijing, China. Many voices clamored for recognition, and spouted slogans demanding increased rights for women, including abortion on demand, freedom from the slavery of marriage, and recognition of the validity of same-sex relationships.  After listening to radio reports and reading newspapers and magazines, I longed to hear what the Lord had to say about all this, knowing he would speak the truth through his prophet.

Days and weeks went by and no statements were forthcoming from the church. I had a heavy heart and a thirst for the word of the Lord.  I kept a prayer in my heart that the Lord would make his will clearly known concerning the issues the world found so troubling.

Tears of inexpressible gratitude fell as I sat in the chapel for the General Relief Society Broadcast on September 23, 1995 and listened to President Hinckley read: The Family - A Proclamation to the World.  I knew the Lord had answered the deepest longings of my heart.  Here was the bread of life for a world in the midst of a famine of the word of God; Living Water for a drought stricken people; a sword of truth to cut through the war of words.

We are so blessed to have pure, simple and true doctrine about the family, about men and women’s roles as husbands and wives, and as fathers and mothers. We learn that these roles are not temporary for earth life, but are part of an eternal continuum stretching from before we were born, through earth life and on into eternity after we die.

The family, beginning with a man and a woman married in a covenant relationship, is an eternal pattern. We are spirit children of a Heavenly Father, who obviously is not alone, but partnered with a glorified and perfected woman. The story of the creation in the book of Abraham refers to Gods, plural, who participated in creating this earth and all things on it.

“So the Gods went down to organize man in their own image, in the image of the Gods to form they him, male and female to form they them.” (Abr. 4:27)

Eliza R. Snow, sister to the Prophet Lorenzo Snow, penned these lines:

I had learned to call thee Father, Thru thy Spirit from on high,

But until the key of knowledge was restored, I knew not why.

In the heavens are parents single? No, the thought makes reason stare!

Truth is reason; truth eternal tells me I’ve a mother there.

(Hymns #192)

Throughout the scriptures are stories of great mothers. They are not considered great because of their education, careers or other worldly attainments. Their greatness comes from their obedience to God and their faithfulness to the Plan of Happiness.

Eve

Eve was the very first mortal mother on this earth. She was given the ability to bear children when she partook of the forbidden fruit and was cast out of the Garden of Eden with Adam, her husband. She was given the name Eve “because she was the mother of all living.” (Genesis 3:20) In fact, Eve means “life” in Hebrew.

We know from the book of Moses that Adam and Eve had many more children than Cain, Abel and Seth. “And Adam knew his wife and she bare unto him sons and daughters, and they began to multiply and to replenish the earth.” (Moses 5:2) The Book of Moses also gives a deeper description of the type of woman Eve was. We learn that Eve labored with Adam; that she knew the Plan of Salvation for she says, “Were it not for our transgression we never should have known good and evil, and the joy of our redemption, and the eternal life which God giveth unto all the obedient.” We learn that Eve taught her children all that she had learned. (Moses 5:12)

The scriptures do not record Eve’s reaction when Cain killed his brother, Abel, but I imagine that she was devastated. I also imagine that she still loved Cain with all her heart. She knew that Cain had the agency to make his own choices.

That is probably one of the hardest things about motherhood, letting our grown children make their own choices, even when we know the choices they are making are wrong and will bring sorrowful consequences. I expect that Eve continued to pray for Cain and love him every day for the rest of her life. I’ve no doubt that her righteous posterity brought her great joy.

What can we learn from Eve? We must work alongside our husbands in creating our homes and raising our children. We must have a clear understanding and a strong testimony of the Gospel. And we must teach our children the truths of the Gospel, and then allow them to make their own choices; but we never give up on our wayward children.

Jochebed

Jochebed, the Mother of Moses, is mentioned briefly in Chapter 2 of Exodus; and by name in chapter six. We can number her among the brave women of the Old Testament. Moses was born during a time when the Israelites were slaves to the Egyptians and the Pharaoh had commanded all newborn Hebrew sons to be killed. Jochebed did not allow that to happen to her son. First, she hid Moses for three months. At the point when she could no longer hide him, she made an ark to lay him in, and put the ark on the banks of the river. She then had her daughter watch over him. Pharaoh’s daughter found Moses and decided she wanted to raise him as her own son. Jochebed was then hired to nurse him until he was old enough to return to live with Pharaoh’s daughter.

It is unclear if either the servant who hired Jochebed or the Pharaoh’s daughter knew that she was his biological mother. Either way, it most certainly was not a coincidence for Moses to spend the first years of his life with his biological mother before being turned over to Pharaoh’s daughter.

What can we learn from Jochebed? We should physically protect our children from evil, and we sometimes need to make sacrifices in order to protect them. What can we learn from Pharaoh’s daughter? We can be mothers to other children as well, whether we adopt, foster, or simply act in motherly ways toward the children in our wards and neighborhoods.

Naomi

The story of Naomi focuses on her relationship with her daughter-in-law, Ruth. This story is especially important because modern entertainment too often finds humor in portraying a negative relationship between mothers and daughters-in-law. It is disheartening to hear real-life stories about difficult relationships with in-laws; so Ruth and Naomi’s story can be beneficial for all of us whether we are the daughter-in-law, mother-in-law, or both.

When Naomi’s sons died, she told their wives, Orpah and Ruth, to return to their families as she was going to return to Bethlehem. Both women wanted to remain with Naomi because they loved her. She again advised them to return to their own families, which Orpah did, but Ruth refused to leave Naomi, so Naomi allowed Ruth to accompany her.

Naomi began calling Ruth “my daughter”, as she absolutely considered Ruth her family. Naomi encouraged Ruth to remarry and advised her to ask Boaz for help in finding a new husband. When no one would take Ruth as a wife, Boaz did. He and Ruth had a son, Obed, and Naomi helped take care of him.

Naomi could have been upset that Ruth moved on from her first husband, but instead she was the one who encouraged and planned it. She even cared for Ruth’s son with whom she had no biological connection, as Boaz was a relative of Naomi’s husband.

What can we learn from Naomi? We should love and respect our daughters-in-law. We should support them in their righteous endeavors, and help care for grandchildren. What can we learn from Ruth? We should love and respect our mothers-in-law. We should listen to their advice and guidance, and allow them to be a part of their grandchildren’s lives.

Mary, the Mother of Jesus

Mary, the mother of our Savior, answered God’s call to bear His son knowing that she would be condemned for being pregnant outside the bonds of marriage. She probably believed that her engagement to Joseph would end. But God with His greater wisdom followed the eternal pattern of family and sent an angel to tell Joseph that it was right to take Mary to wife, providing Jesus with an earthly father.

When the wicked King Herod set out to find and slay Jesus as a young child, Joseph, Mary, and Jesus, being warned of God, fled to Egypt. Mary was willing to leave a land and culture where she had spent her entire life, and move to a new and strange place in order to protect her son.

Mary allowed Jesus to teach her. When Jesus was 12 years old, he stayed behind in Jerusalem, after the Passover feast. Joseph and Mary noticed he wasn’t in the company of travelers and went looking for him. It took them three days to find him. I know something of the fear and panic going on in Mary’s heart. When they found him Mary lectured Jesus, as Mother’s do, and Jesus answered that he was about his Father’s business. After that Luke writes that “[Mary] kept all these sayings in her heart.” (Luke 2:51)

When Jesus was grown, Mary knew that he had his own job to do. In fact, when wine ran short at a wedding, Mary came to Jesus for help. Jesus reminded her that his time had not yet come, but he would still help in his own way, and Mary allowed him to choose how he would help. (John 2:1-10)

At the end of Christ’s mortal ministry Mary had to go through one of the most excruciating experiences a woman can go through watching her son die. I have no doubt that she mourned him the rest of her life, but I also know that she knew she would see him again. She understood God’s plan, and believed in it.

What can we learn from Mary? We should follow Heavenly Father’s plan for our families and accept the children He sends us. As important as it is to teach our children, we should also be willing to learn from our children, and from our experiences parenting. I’ve often said that most of what I know and understand about Heavenly Father I’ve learned from being a parent myself. From Mary we also learn that if and when we are separated from our children, whether through missionary service, school, work, or death, we press forward with the knowledge that our temple covenanted family is forever and we will see them again.

Sariah

Sariah was mother to Laman, Lemuel, Sam, Nephi, Jacob, and Joseph, as well as several daughters. She went from being a rich woman of society to a woman living in a tent in the wilderness. She watched her children argue and physically fight with each other. Her heart broke over the wickedness of her two oldest sons. But with all she went through, she remained faithful and loving.

In the first sentence of the Book of Mormon we learn from Nephi that Sariah – along with Lehi – was “goodly” and taught Nephi “somewhat in all the learning of [his] father”. (1 Nephi 1:1) Sariah knew that her husband was a prophet, and she went along with the family’s move into the wilderness. She did have a brief moment of weakness, as she went through her tests and trials, but it helped strengthen her testimony. She believed that her sons had been killed by Laban, and accused Lehi of being visionary. Instead of being angry, Lehi comforted her, and when their sons returned Sariah says:

“Now I know of a surety that the Lord hath commanded my husband to flee into the wilderness; yea, and I also know of a surety that the Lord hath protected my sons, and delivered them out of the hands of Laban, and given them power whereby they could accomplish the thing which the Lord hath commanded them.” (1 Nephi 5:8)

It was a mother’s love that caused this fear to come upon her. Her sons’ safe return was a testament to her that God will protect them and she can allow her sons to continue to do the work of the Lord. This is a great verse for missionary moms.

Sariah gave birth to Jacob and Joseph while in the wilderness.  She didn’t let their difficult new life get in the way of her family’s growth. When Laman and Lemuel bound Nephi while traveling across the ocean, Sariah and Lehi become ill from the stress of the wickedness of their sons. Nephi writes that they almost died because of it. Sariah’s heart broke because of her sons’ wickedness, but she never sent them away; she continued to love them.

What can we learn from Sariah? We need to teach our children the gospel, and follow the Lord’s plan for our families. It’s normal to have moments of weakness, but we can learn from them, and use them to strengthen our resolve to keep our covenants. When our children choose wickedness, we continue loving them and praying for them; and we keep living the gospel so we can be examples to them.

These five women serve as wonderful examples of good and faithful mothers. The common threads in all the lives of these mothers are obedience to God’s commandments, keeping sacred covenants, and teaching their children these things.

Their stories teach great lessons about following God and caring for our children. If we apply these messages to our lives we can better follow the heavenly pattern of family life. These stories were recorded to teach us and future generations. I encourage you to study motherhood throughout the scriptures and apply what you learn in your own families. I know that with Heavenly Father’s help we can become great and wonderful mothers to his beloved spirit children, our earthly children.

I know that God, our Father lives; he loves us more than we can understand. He sent his son to be our Savior and Redeemer. Jesus Christ lives! He stands ready to lift us, carry us, and help us as we repent and follow him. I testify that Jesus Christ’s spokesman on earth is Thomas S. Monson, prophet and president of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, the only true and living church on the face of the earth. The Book of Mormon is a true testament of the Savior and his mission. It was translated through the gift and power of God by Joseph Smith, the prophet of the Restoration.

I give my solemn and humble witness of these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Mother's Day

My own mother passed three years ago; lilacs were among her most favorite flowers.

The house in the background belongs to our neighbors, our little house is to the right, see the shadow?

Our traditional Mother's Day portrait: 

Dandylion, Mr. Movie, PFCMom, JET

Here's the portrait from 2009 for comparison. Different lilac bush, this one in Utah. My mother loved pictures in front of lilacs!

Mr. Movie, Lt. Lehi, Dandylion, Noble, PFCMom, JET

Parental Lessons

Our son JET has begun to attend church again after several years of "vacation". I was wondering, out loud, to my husband about why this change in attitude. What actually came out of my mouth was a profound lesson to me. I said something like "I think that my showing interest in the things that are important to him, like going to the car show and getting excited about cars in general helped him know that I love him for who he is; and when he felt safe in my love he decided that he could return to church." JET has long felt that he didn't measure up to the spiritual stature of his older brother, and that I loved him less because of that. NOT TRUE! But maybe now he really does feel I love him for himself, which is totally true, and therefore he can return to church. Whatever the reason, I'm pleased, but I don't love him more, because I never loved him less.

It gives me a glimpse into the heart of Heavenly Father and the Savior.

My thoughts (Which I hope are in line with His Thoughts)

My husband came home from General Priesthood Meeting relaxed and in a good mood; he shared with me some of the stories and themes from the talks they'd heard. He got on the computer while I rustled up some dessert for the men (they're all taller than me so I think of them as men now!). He has the ability to stay calm when reading things that make my blood boil. He found an article about the Ordain Women protesters and told me about an interview with a sixteen year old who said she wanted to be ordained because she had skills and talents that she wanted to be useful in the church. (Or something to that effect.)

Herewith are my thoughts about ordaining women to the priesthood.

First: In all of the scriptures I have read, Old Testament, New Testament, Book of Mormon, Doctrine and Covenants, and Pearl of Great Price, God is absolutely consistent in following the Great Plan of Happiness. At different times and in different places his covenant people have had more or less of the fullness of the gospel of Jesus Christ, but never a different gospel. And in all of the scriptures The Holy Priesthood after the Order of the Son of God has been given to men and men only. This is one of those instances where God our Father in Heaven could say "Because I said so," without any other explanation, like good parents can and do, and we should obey without question. At the time we are mature enough and ready we will understand the why.
(I will state right here that I have never questioned and have always "just known" that this was the correct order of things.)

Second: I doubt very much that the sixteen year old girl is currently fully using her talents and skills to build the kingdom of God. Does she hold a calling such as Laurel President? Are all of the Laurels under her stewardship active, temple worthy girls? Is she sharing the gospel with others to the point that they come to church, are taking lessons with missionaries and preparing for baptism? How many generations of family history has she completed? Is her own personal history up to date? Does she reach out to serve others without being assigned or asked? Does she have all the skills and talents she will need to raise and teach children, keep a home, and prepare children to serve missions? Are her prayers effective? She can do all of this and much more without being ordained to the priesthood. When women are perfect in their own sphere, then it might be understandable for them to look at another's sphere, but not until then.

Third: What do those women want to do? Conduct meetings? All presidencies of all the organizations and auxiliaries conduct meetings. Go Home Teaching? What's wrong with Visiting Teaching? (I once thought about having MiaMaids and Laurels serve with visiting teachers, but realized that perhaps it would be inappropriate because of confidentiality issues to have young sisters assisting.) Give blessings? My mother's prayers were heard and answered, sometimes instantly. When she prayed for something it happened. I suppose it was because of her purity, her virtue, her exceeding great faith, whatever it was, it worked! My father's priesthood blessings were no more efficacious than my mother's prayers of faith. I think what the priesthood has done for my father was give him reason to be virtuous and pure so that his blessings would be effective. Mom was that way already. Do those women want to prepare, bless and pass the Sacrament? They remind me of immature children who can't be content seeing what another has until they've taken it away, and once gotten, find it's not so fun after all. Why can't the men and boys have something that civilizes and ennobles them without some female getting in a snit because she can't have it too? Do they want to "run" things? Being a leader is not telling others what to do, believe me, I've learned the hard way. We set an example, encourage, teach and love, but cannot force or punish anyone. 

Fourth: The roles and stewardships of men and women are different yet complementary, they complete each other. One cannot be exalted without the other because it takes the two different halves to make a whole. Perhaps men would be more effective and efficient in church callings if more wives were taking responsibility for their homes and allowing their husbands time to study the gospel and leadership principles, serve in callings and spend time fulfilling their duties without having to work to support the family and then come home and be responsible for fixing dinner, doing dishes, cleaning up after the children and taking care of the children "so the wife can have a break." From personal experience of the opposite I would gladly never have a break if my husband was out doing the work of the Lord. 

Fifth: This is the Dispensation of the Fullness of Times. Through Joseph Smith the fullness of the Gospel of Jesus Christ was restored and re-established. Many radically different doctrines were revealed and put into practice. Don't you think that if women were to be ordained to the priesthood it would have been so from the beginning? That it has not must say something about the order of things as they are now. I know that this is the true church of God and His Son on the earth today. We are led by a prophet, Thomas S. Monson, with other prophets and apostles to assist him. The priesthood is God's power and authority to give to whom he chooses after the order set in heaven. One day when all is revealed we will fully understand His order and realize how truly perfect it is.

Whisperings of the Spirit and the Nineteen Year Training Program

Once upon a time, a long time ago, there was a frazzled mother of young children who was done in by the endless needs of her children and household. In her mind she thought "I wish my children would quit interrupting my work." And into her heart came the still small voice saying "Your children ARE your work," which changed the heart of the mother of young children by helping her to remember that she had chosen this work in the beginning.

I think it was about that time my husband and I were inspired with the idea of a "nineteen year training program." In other words, we had about nineteen years to teach and train our children to become self-sufficient (enough) adults to leave home.

Training has included dress and grooming, chores, finances, spirituality, morality, talents, service, work, education and culture. Whenever our patience is wearing thin we remind each other that this offending party child has not yet completed the training program so we should forgive and be more patient.

We have three adult children now, all living more or less successfully away from home. Two are faithful to the gospel, one struggles with worldliness. We love all of them. They are self-sufficient, loving, good natured, intelligent, serving, caring individuals. We have good relationships with all three. It is great to see the products of our "nineteen year training program."

Through the years I've had many "whisperings of the spirit" come into my heart to guide me and comfort me in my chosen profession. I once wrote in my journal that I hope that worth is calculated differently in heaven and that those who choose to be stay at home moms will be honored beyond all the other mothers who chose worldly honors and achievements. I'm mostly anonymous, no one other than my children asks for my advice and counsel, no one interviews me about my achievements or aspirations, and hardly anybody, outside of my family and closest friends will know or care when I die. Over the years, though, I've learned that it doesn't matter, because I matter to the one who matters most to me. My Savior and my Heavenly Father. If I can please them, and live up to their expectations and trust of me, then my life will have been worth living.

I often tell my children, I'm teaching you this (whatever gospel principle I'm teaching at the moment) so you can never use the excuse, "My mom never taught me." You will be free to choose the way you want to live once you leave our home, but you will never be able to say "My mom never taught me ______." I have done my best to teach you because I don't want to have to stand before the judgement bar and feel ashamed that I didn't do my very best to teach you the gospel and how to return to our Father in Heaven.

So many struggle with the decision of whether to have a career or family. For what it's worth I'll give some counsel, the same I give my own children, especially my daughter.

This mortal life is short, in eternal time, and we only get one shot at it, there aren't any do overs. So when making a decision of any importance look at what is eternally valuable or important.

How can any worldly career compare with the bringing of spirits to this earth for their turn to experience mortality. Being a mother earlier rather than later is better because having babies is a young people's sport. Just ask any forty year old mother of an infant. But later is better than not at all. After all I didn't get married until I was thirty, so I missed out on about ten years of child bearing. I just never wanted to live with regrets for not starting right away in our marriage to begin our family. 

The full rewards of parenting are few and far between and sometimes long in coming, sometimes taking as long as nineteen or twenty years! But I have found them sweeter and more valuable than any earthly plaudits because of their eternal significance.

May you find joy in your journey through mortality and the great responsibility of parenthood.

Make More Happy Memories

That's the advice my older sister D gave me when I asked her what she'd do differently raising her family of seven children. Make more happy memories.

As I read Annette's post over on Chocolate on My Cranium I thought of a few of my happiest memories and wondered if my children remember too.

Boys, do you remember playing beauty parlor and putting make-up on Mom and barrettes in her hair? I wish I had pictures! The attention and pampering was better than any $100 an hour spa.

Chuns, do you remember suppers of muffins and popcorn watching Disney videos? And Saturday homemade pizza nights?

Do you remember the trip to the Hill Cumorah Pageant and swimming in the hotel pool? What about Camp Joseph in Sharon, Vermont? Remember the Milky Way! And hiking the mountain?

Boys, do you remember reading our way through the Ralph Moody, Little Britches series?

Noble, do you remember the fashion shows, and Halloween costumes, especially the purple hair?

Do you all remember the Symphony concerts in the Provo Tabernacle? I cried when I heard that it burned down, and I cried again when I heard it would be rebuilt as a temple!

Remember playing on the GIANT in the park in Washington DC?

Remember our first Family Pajama Game Night?

I'm really thankful for an older sister who I call The Pioneer for going before me and blazing the trail. Because of her I learned early to savor moments, make happy memories and enjoy each stage of raising children. We homeschooled our children for fourteen years so I spent A LOT of time with them. And I've found that to be one of our biggest blessing because as they mature they become our best friends. Our adult children still call regularly to "plug in" to the Mom and tell me all their joys and sorrows.

Families are Forever! I can't think of a more important concept to guide us through our journey of mortality. Spend time with your chuns, make more happy memories, never stop teaching them the gospel and showing them the Savior's love through your love.

Sixteen Years? How Can That Be?

Dr. Hair - The Birthday Boy

He got a pile of books . . .

. . . and his very own tools.

Look at all that loot.

Guess who the shrimp of the family is?

Update: After TopDad read this he asked why I had put it here instead of my other blog. I told him that we're celebrating The Family: A Proclamation to the World and what better way to celebrate family than a family celebration! (If that makes sense to anyone but me)