The Greatest Work - The Most Important Service, and other thoughts

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday afternoon session of the April 2012 General Conference.

Throughout the years of raising children, from the time our first was born in 1989 to the time our youngest left home in 2016, and even to this day, I often wondered if I should have chosen a different path, cultivating an outside career and developing my talents in a professional (that means paid) setting. Over my lifetime homemakers have increasingly been looked down on as less educated, homeschoolers continually questioned about their qualifications, while those who don't contribute monetarily to their family economy are seen as parasites. 

Thankfully we have apostles and prophets to teach the truth about the work that takes place in our homes.

Elder M. Russell Ballard quoted President Joseph F. Smith, ". . . and there is no service greater than that which converts the home into a divine institution, and which promotes and preserves family life. . . ."

Elder Ballard said, "Brothers and sisters, the most important cause of our lifetime is our families. If we will devote ourselves to this cause, we will improve every other aspect of our lives and will become, as a people and as a church, an example and a beacon for all peoples of the earth." 

I appreciate that he used the word "cause" rather than thing or entity. I believe our highest priority and relationships should be with God, Our Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ. They can give us salvation, and exaltation with our families; but our families can give us neither. Putting God first in our lives makes everything else fall into place in the correct order of priority.

Elder Ballard continued, "First, may I suggest that we prioritize. Put everything you do outside the home in subjection to and in support of what happens inside your home. . . . Organize your personal live to provide time for prayer and scriptures and family activity. Give your children responsibilities in the home that will teach them how to work."

I hear sisters in Relief Society say that they are just so busy and have trouble finding time to study the gospel. Then they tell about all the activities that they ferry children to every day of the week! I think they've lost sight of the priority of studying and living the gospel instead of busily chasing worldly activities and acclaim with and for their children.

Elder Ballard said to the young women (and I presume even older women could benefit from this advice) "No career can bring you as much fulfillment as rearing a family. And when you are my age, you will realize this even more." I concur!! Being a wife, mother and homemaker stretches a woman, demands her highest efforts, and utilizes every talent and skill she can muster. "Paydays" are few and far between, but all the sweeter when they come.

Elder David F. Evans also proclaimed that ". . . our most important work is always within our own home and family."  He gave an important insight about communication, saying, "Letters from home are not just quick emails. Real letters provide something tangible that can be held, thought about, and cherished." After children leave home words of encouragement, comfort and wisdom from a parent in the form of a tangible letter is priceless.

Elder Neil L. Andersen quoted President Thomas S. Monson from 2011, ". . . the moral fiber of society continues to disintegrate before our very eyes." And then said something comforting to me, "Being a disciple in these days of destiny will be a badge of honor throughout the eternities." Comforting because of what I said in my first paragraph, I haven't felt much praise and honor for my chosen path in life. Elder Andersen goes on to say, "Our journey of discipleship is not a dash around the track, nor is it fully comparable to a lengthy marathon. In truth, it is a lifelong migration toward a more celestial world." Yes! It is a hero journey through the wilderness to the promised land. What a beautiful way to put it, "a lifelong migration."

I've noticed on social media that there is an outpouring of defense against critics of the church and our doctrines and beliefs. It is wearying to me to keep up with it all so I don't try to. I love Elder Andersen's closing testimony, so fitting for the times we live in, "In a future day, every knee will bow and every tongue confess that He is the Christ. On that day, our concern will not be, 'Do others consider me Christian?' At that time, our eyes will be fixed on Him, and our souls will be riveted on the question, 'What thinks Christ of me?'" His opinion and judgement of me is the only one that matters. Which is why I do my best to learn of Him, yoke myself to Him, and share my testimony of Him with my family.

Doing A Great Work

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Priesthood session of the April 2009 conference.

"We live in an era of anticipation and preparation, entrusted by God to prepare ourselves, our families, our world for the approaching dawn--the day when the Son of God will 'descend from heaven with a should, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God' (I Thess. 4:16) and usher in His millennial reign."

So said then President Dieter F. Uchtdorf. This era stretches from Joseph Smith to Russell M. Nelson. As this is the last dispensation we (all who have lived or are living through it) are the ones to prepare for the Second Coming. 

"Our Heavenly Father seeks those who refuse to allow the trivial to hinder them in their pursuit of the eternal. He seeks those who will not allow the attraction of ease or the traps of the adversary to distract them from the work He has given them to perform. He seeks those whose actions conform to their words--those who say with conviction, 'I am doing a great work and cannot come down.' " 

In Relief Society there a long discussion about having time to study the gospel when "we are so busy from the time our feet hit the floor in the morning until our head hits the pillow at night." How are we to find the time? I didn't say much out loud, but in my head I was saying, "If you weren't so devoted to your careers/business/children's activities, etc., you'd have more time for the things of eternity. If you'd choose to stay home and actually be a wife, mother and homemaker, you'd have more time for the things of eternity." 

I loved what Elder D. Todd Christofferson said in the most recent conference, "One wise sister observed, 'I cannot think of a more profound way to worship God than to welcome His little ones into our lives and care for them and teach them His plan for them.' " What a profound observation! The things that the world tells us matter the most will matter the least in eternity, and conversely the things the world tells us matter the least will matter the most! But Satan has done a brilliant job distracting women from what matters most. The great work we are supposed to be doing is building the kingdom by welcoming children into our families, and rearing them in truth and righteousness. 

I wish I could have married at age 19 or 20 so I could have had five more children than I was able to. And I wish I could convince mothers to educate their children at home, avoiding satan's indoctrination centers. As hard as it was at the time I'm so grateful I was able to stay home to nurture and teach our children. I believe that the close relationships we enjoy now are the result of all the time we spent together when they were young.

My fondest hope is that in the economy of heaven motherhood will be the most important and honored "profession." It is certainly the greatest work I've ever done here, as well as the finest character builder ever devised.

Whistle While You Work

This post is part of the General Conference Odessey. This week covers the Priesthood session of the April 1998 conference.

So many powerhouse speakers in this session! I remember Elder Maxwell's address, not because I heard it, but because when I read it in the Ensign it resonated with me as something my parents had done with their five children. (They adopted a sixth, but she was handicapped and treated a bit differently.)

Oh how we need a strong work ethic today among our citizens, old and young. In the (I believe) wrongful emphasis on getting a college education we have given too much emphasis on working with minds instead of with our hands; looking down on those who do as less intelligent. WRONG!  My hero, role model for a husband was always President Hinckley, who was a scholar with a great mind, but could build or fix just about anything. He was accomplished in both ways, mind work and hand work. I have great admiration for the many craftsmen and tradesmen who keep our world running and beautiful.

Elder Maxwell said, "Young men, your individual mix of work will vary, understandably, by season and circumstances as between the hours spent on homework and family work and Church work, part-time work, and work on service projects. Each form of work can stretch your talents. . . . Whatever the mix of work, the hardest work you and I will ever do is to put off our selfishness. It is heavy lifting."

What I've learned over the years of mothering is that you can't tell the end from the beginning. The son who was the laziest has turned out to be the most disciplined and hardworking. The son with the best work ethic as a youngster has struggled to keep a job as an adult. It is amazing to see. We treated them all the same!

Elder Maxwell also gave this interesting observation: "When the time comes, young men, make your career choices. Know that whether one is a neuro-surgeon, forest ranger, mechanic, farmer, or teacher is a matter of preference, not of principle. While those career choices are clearly very important, these do not mark your real career path. Instead, brethren, you are sojourning sons of God who have been invited to take the path that leads home. There, morticians will find theirs is not the only occupation to become obsolete. But the capacity to work and work wisely will never become obsolete. And neither will the ability to learn. Meanwhile, my young brethren, I have not seen any perspiration-free shortcuts to the celestial kingdom; there is no easy escalator to take us there."

When I was a child I didn't understand my grandmother's love of doing the dishes. I do now. There is satisfaction is working to make home a clean and lovely place for myself and my family. There is joy in working, even at something that will need to be done again tomorrow!

Another Lesson from Parenting

Children want privileges. As much or more than they want food sometimes. They will whine and beg, plead and cajole, make promises they won’t keep, anything, to get what they want. Our response while raising our children was, “Responsibilities before privileges. If you want something you have to show us that you are responsible and worthy of it.” They rarely liked being told that. We attempted to be as consistent as we could (being mere mortals) in applying that. All five of our children are now adults and we think they understand it. At least they show signs of understanding it most of the time (they have joined the ranks of us “mere mortal” adults).

I thought about how we raised our children as I read a few reports of the March of the Vulgar Females in Washington DC. They appeared to me to be quite childish in their understanding of how the world works. They want “rights” without talking about and taking on responsibilities. Privileges without first working for them. Marching and screaming don’t qualify as working for them. That’s more like having a temper tantrum.

I wanted to say to those females, as I often did to our children, show me! Show me that you have done everything you could to prove that you are mature, and able to handle the privilege you are requesting. What was truly weird to me is that I wasn’t really sure what they wanted. I mean, in the United States of America, what rights do adult males have that adult females don’t? Can someone please enlighten me? And if they were simply protesting the election of a new president, why the vulgarity? Why lower themselves to such a level and expect to be taken serious?

Those women certainly don’t represent me. I’m quite content to be a wife, mother, and homemaker; contributing to the greater good by raising civilized, productive citizens. I like being a woman, married to a man, joined together in making life easier and happier for each other. I like being a mother, at home where it matters in the lives of children; being there for them at the crossroads of life. They ALL call me to check in (I call it plugging in) with Mom, ask for advice, share what they are doing, and thank me for all I did and do for them. I love them more than I can express. I have learned so very much from them!

Which brings me to my last point. As I was contemplating all this I felt the Spirit whisper to me that responsibilities before privileges is an eternal principle. We are expected to show faith through our actions before blessings arrive. We can't just pray a laundry list of requests and expect God to wave a magic wand granting us all we wish for. We have to work and prove ourselves trustworthy and faithful.

I love learning. Especially eternal principles through parenting. God, Our Heavenly Father is our parent, we are the children, learning to become like Him. It’s a good feeling to know I’m on the right path.

To Do Lists

Count Your Blessings - Day Six

As my advancing years wreak havoc on my brain power, I increasingly rely on To Do Lists so I can remember and stay focused on what I want to accomplish each day.

Actually, I don't think it is a problem of advancing years, it really is a problem of getting distracted by all the goodies on the internet.

I do, however, rely on lists; and the latest incarnation is simply an 8 1/2 x 11 piece of scrap paper and a black sharpie. I write down what I need to do and want to do, then hang the paper on the cupboard nearest the stove so I can see it all day (I'm in my kitchen/dining room/office a lot all day) and as I finish one task I check it off and see what is the next thing to do.

I'm really thankful for ideas and inspiration that help me be more productive in my job as wife, mother, and homemaker. We are never to old to learn new tricks!

Check out what I've been doing on my other blog

I haven't posted for too long. But if you'll go to my other blog, PFCMom, you can see some of what I've been up to.

I was released as Relief Society President in March, then spent my time getting ready for both General Conference and my epic trip to Asia. I spent two fabulous weeks in Japan and Korea. Now back home I'm preparing for the graduation of Mr. Movie from high school by painting the Living Room so it will be ready for his party on May 15. HELP! (I should have girded up my loins, fresh courage taken when the room was empty, way back when, but I dislike painting and so procrastinated and now am having to do it with a roomful of furniture in the way.)

I think life will be back to normal (whatever that is) soon and I can post some of what's been on my mind about lots of different things. In the meantime, enjoy PFCMom.

A Parable

Brother Brown was sad; his wife had passed away several months ago and his home was in disarray. His lively, creative children were looking more unkempt as the days went by; the house just got dirtier. He did what he could in the evenings and on the weekends but things were just not as wonderful as when his wife was alive. So he looked around for another woman to help him. He found a school teacher, a delightful woman who loved children and homemaking; so he courted her and then married her.

The new Sister Brown enjoyed getting to know the children and after a little while began making chore assignments to all the children. Unfortunately nothing would get done, and the children came up with all kinds of excuses as to why the chores were not done. Sister Brown continued assigning chores and taking care of the grocery shopping and cooking. She was puzzled as to why the children wouldn't do their assigned chores so she talked to Brother Brown about it. They discussed the adjustments of having a new mother and he assured her that if she would just love the children they would eventually step up and do the chores. Sister Brown thought she had been loving, but redoubled her efforts and tried to be patient.

One day Sister Brown decided to get to the bottom of why the chores weren't getting done and she sat down with the youngest and after a pleasant conversation she broached the subject of chores. The youngster confessed that he really didn't know how to make his bed or clean his room because his real mom had always done it for him. Sister Brown made time for interviews with the rest of the children and found to her relief that the children weren't being rebellious about not doing the chores, they just didn't know how to do them and they didn't understand the benefits to the family if they did them.

Sister Brown began a training program immediately and helped each child learn the basics of bed making and clothes putting away, and then moved through all of the household chores. Once everyone knew he proper techniques and how to use the tools for each task the household began to run smoothly and feelings of love and unity increased in their home.

Many years later, when the children had homes of their own they were so grateful to their step-mother for showing her love by taking the time to teach them skills that would serve them all their lives. 

Thought for the Day

It takes a whole lot more time and effort to raise a righteous, loving family, than it takes to build a house to put them in.