Parental Correction

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday afternoon session of the April 2011 conference.

I've long believed that parents need to teach two important things to their babies, toddlers and children: the word NO, and obedience without negotiation. There are many ways to do this because there are many personalities of children, but those who don't learn those two things have lots of trouble in life.

By "parental correction" I mean a parent noticing the child doing something wrong and correcting the child and leading them to do the right thing. Acknowledging that we have standards in our homes and expecting children to attempt to the best of their abilities to live up to those standards makes life better, more peaceful, more abundant.

Elder D. Todd Christofferson said, "Our Heavenly Father is a God of high expectations."  He knows who He wants us to be and provides ways for us to be transformed. "He knows what is required, and so, to make our transformation possible, He provides His commandments and covenants, the gift of the Holy Ghost, and most important, the Atonement and Resurrection of His Beloved Son." 

Our own little children don't know enough to ask for correction; we usually have to just give it to them, teaching and training them in the ways of the Lord and our home. 

We as adults though, know enough from gospel study and living to know when we are falling short of the Father's high expectations. Elder Christofferson says, "I would like to speak of one particular attitude and practice we need to adopt if we are to meet our Heavenly Father's high expectations. It is this: willingly to accept and even seek correction."

I know this is scary--what if I have to give up something that I really enjoy (perhaps my favorite sin), or do something that is uncomfortable, or causes feelings of embarrassment or vulnerability? I don't think I've asked because I'm afraid of what the answer might be.

Though it is often difficult to endure, truly we ought to rejoice that God considers us worth the time and trouble to correct.

 Divine chastening has at least three purposes: (1) to persuade us to repent, (2) to refine and sanctify us, and (3) at times to redirect our course in life to what God knows is a better path.

All of those are good reasons! Elder Christofferson repeats what Elder Johnson said in the Sunday morning session, "we should take care not to resent the very things that help us put on the divine nature."

This promise is comforting, "If we sincerely desire and strive to measure up to the high expectations of our Heavenly Father, He will ensure that we receive all the help we need, whether it be comforting, strengthening, or chastening."

Why do I ever doubt that my loving Father in Heaven will do whatever He can or needs to, to help me return to Him in our heavenly home? He's a better parent than I am and I can trust Him to give me what I need to become who I am supposed to be. 

 

Eternally Encircled in His Love

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the General Relief Society session of the October 2006 conference.

When I was about nine or ten I went in to my parent's bedroom to say goodnight to them. I hugged my mother and said goodnight then walked around the bed to my father. Before I could lean toward him to give him a hug he said, "I don't want a hug from a naughty girl like you." I was so taken aback that I couldn't say anything and simply left the room with an aching heart and a vow to never give him a hug ever again. And I didn't, until I was about eighteen. I don't remember what I did to be called naughty, it was probably teasing my younger brother or something similar. My father was a good man, committed to the Gospel, but he had a hard time giving grace, being merciful and would withhold his love if he felt I wasn't worthy. That affected my life for a very long time.

Sister Bonnie D. Parkin, (who hugged me the first and only time she ever met me!) said, "Feeling His love encourages us to press forward, reassures us that we are His, and confirms to us that He cherishes us even when we stumble and experience temporary setbacks."

At a time when my marriage was on the rocks and I was struggling to meet the demands of five young children I went into my closet, knelt down and poured out my heart to God. I said I just want to feel loved. Immediately I felt the warmth and strength of His love enveloping me from head to toe. It was a sacred, phenomenal moment. 

". . . women need to feel the Lord's love in their lives daily." After my experience feeling my Heavenly Father's love once I could recall that feeling whenever I needed a renewal and reassurance. He is the only one who has never let me down, left me disappointed, or caused me pain.

"Our Heavenly Father loved us before we came to this earth. I know that He loves us, sisters, as does His Son, Jesus Christ. That love will never change--it is constant. You can rely on it. We can trust it."

The most important thing I've learned is that I don't have to be perfect to be worthy of His love. He wants me to keep improving and progressing, but He loves me every step and misstep of the way.

"We must acknowledge that perfection is a process. This is a gospel of eternal progress, and we must remember to appreciate the journey. Eternal means 'without beginning or end,' so the encircling of His love is there for us every day."

In August I had another good experience feeling my Father's love, in my journal I recorded, "Last night I paused in my prayer to listen and cry. I think the Spirit said to me, 'Give yourself grace, you've had a hard life. Don't give up now.' That felt so merciful to me."

"Do you feel the Lord's love in your life? How I feel His love may be different from how you experience it. The key is to come to understand how you feel that love. And once you've felt it, be willing to share it."

The more I study the scriptures and General Conference talks the more I feel loved. The more I notice nature around me such as the colors, sounds, smells, etc. the more I feel loved. The more obedient I am to the commandments the more I feel loved. And the more I serve others and give grace and mercy to others the more I feel loved. But even when I'm feeling disappointed and angry, feeling tired of trying, and rebellious, I STILL feel loved by a perfect, infinitely patient Father who never turns me away, welcoming me with open arms to comfort and encourage. Which in turn increases my love for Him. My goal is to share His love with others so they can feel that too.

Another Notebook Entry

24 May 2015   I keep hearing "The Lord has His own timeline for us." Today I remembered what President [LeGrand R.] Curtis taught us. "Heavenly Father's goal for us can be brought about only with our full cooperation." Perhaps His timeline would move more quickly [and smoothly] if we were more closely living in harmony with His will.

I served in the Florida Tallahassee Mission under President Curtis from February 1979 to July 1980.

Barriers are not always a bad thing

I used a talk by Elder Von G. Keetch from the October conference as part of the Sunday School lesson last week. We were talking about how God is Our Heavenly Father and how we can get to know Him better by studying the scriptures. I had each student think about the qualities they appreciate in their own father, and what qualities they would like to have themselves as a parent. Then we talked about how God is a loving Father who cares more about us than anything else. We watched the talk as a way to see how what God does is an expression of His love and concern for us.

My favorite quote from the talk is this:

[T]he barriers established by the Lord create for us a safe harbor from the evil and destructive influences that would other wise drag us down to the depths of despair. The Lord's commandments are given out of love and caring.