Testimony

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Priesthood session of the October 2011 conference.

Elder Kevin G. Brown's talk from the most recent General Conference has been an internet sensation for his fervent, fiery delivery. Last week in Relief Society we studied that talk and the teacher said that she had met Elder Brown some years ago when her family went to Jamaica to pick up a brother from his mission. She said that Elder Brown was just as intense and passionate in real life as he was in conference.

Two things that President Monson said in his talk "Dare to Stand Alone" brought to my mind Elder Brown's talk.

In order for us to be strong and to withstand all the forces pulling us in the wrong direction or all the voices encouraging us to take the wrong path, we must have our own testimony.

 May each of us who holds the priesthood of God [or is a disciple of Jesus Christ] know what he believes.

We can't be strong enough to make it through life leaning on someone else's knowledge and testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. We have to put in the work ourselves to grow our own knowledge and testimony.

Watching YouTube fitness videos and listening to my son talk about the benefits of nutrition and exercise is wonderful, but it doesn't help me. I need to do the work myself of choosing the right foods in the right amounts, and getting in the right amounts and kinds of movements to change my body. He can't do it for me. (Darn!)

Sister Julie B. Beck said, "Insight found in the scripture accumulates over time, so it is important to spend some time in the scriptures every day." And General Conference talks qualify as scripture. My study doesn't really help anyone else's knowledge and testimony either. We each have to fill our lamps and oil vessels drop by drop over time. There's no way to "download" knowledge and testimony in a few minutes. Or to think of it another way, we don't get through life starving our bodies all week and gorging on Sunday. We eat every day to maintain health and strength. We need to be "eating" our spiritual food daily too. 

Another little tidbit I notice in each and every conference is that the speakers says things like "in these trying times", "in these perilous times", or similar phrases. And I think to myself, when has life ever not been trying or perilous, or economically hard, or morally easy. This life is a test of our obedience and commitment to following the Savior. Satan wants us to fail and works tirelessly to do so. Of course life is hard! But we can be strong and pass the test by taking our spiritual vitamins daily, exercising our faith in Jesus Christ daily, and enduring faithfully to the end.

 

 

 

Rest Unto Your Souls

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday afternoon session of the October 2010 conference.

Our son's suicide was the most lift up-ending event that has ever happened to me. It shook the foundations of our family, rattled my faith, and shattered my sense of identity and worth. 

About six months prior to James leaving us, I had an urgent and persistent prompting to study the gospel more diligently and deeply. Following that inspiration proved to be life saving to me.

Elder Per G. Malm of the Seventy said, "Faith in Jesus Christ and following His teachings give us a firm hope, and this hope becomes a solid anchor to our souls. We can become steadfast and immovable. We can enter into the rest of the Lord."

That first sleepless night after my husband discovered what had happened to James I tossed and turned unable to turn off my brain or my tears. All night my mind alternated between two thoughts as wave after wave of gratitude filled my soul: "I know that my Redeemer lives!" and "I'm so grateful for the honor and privilege of being James' mother." 

The past two and a half years have been hard, lonely, and uncertain as we've grieved, navigated changes in life plans, and healed from the gaping hole that James left in our family.

Elder Malm says, "A helpful habit is to lift our vision daily in order to maintain an eternal perspective of the things we plan and do, especially if we detect a tendency to wait until a future tomorrow to do what we know we should pursue while we have our present today."

I shudder to think of how weak I might have been if I hadn't followed the prompting to deepen my knowledge and testimony of the Atonement of the Savior, the Plan of Salvation, and eternal families. I often wonder how others who do not know what I do, and have what I have, endure the pain of a loved one's death.

If I ever wonder how to tell if a prompting is from God, I remember what I know from Moroni. Elder Malm reminds me in his talk. "When we learn to handle the small and simple daily things in a wise and inspired way, the result is a positive influence that will solidify harmony in our souls and build up and strengthen those around us. This is so because everything which invites us to do good 'is sent forth by the power and gift of Christ; wherefore [we] may know with a perfect knowledge it is of God' (Moroni 7:16)."

Sister Camille Johnson's talk in the most recent general conference fits well with this one too. We can be whole in Jesus Christ even though we are not physically, emotionally, or mentally healed. The death of James is permanent for the rest of my life, he will not be returned to me. I will miss him every day and feel a void where he used to be. But I am whole in Christ and can keep pressing forward steadfast in Him knowing that our family will be reunited in the future.

 

Not So Random Thoughts

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday afternoon session of the April 2010 conference.

Elder L. Tom Perry - The leaders of the Church spend a great deal of time thinking about how to improve teaching in the Church. Why do we invest this time and effort? It is because we believe in the immense power of teaching to increase the faith of individuals and strengthen families.

During my service as a Relief Society president I asked the Branch President if we could use the Sunday School time for all of the adults in the branch to participate in the teacher improvement course. His response was that he couldn't stop the whole branch to do that. He felt that too many of the adults would never become stellar teachers. I said that probably was true but they could become better students, better Sacrament Meeting speakers, and better Family Home Evening leaders in their own homes. Nope, he wouldn't consent to do it. So we plowed on ahead with untrained, inadequate teachers in just about every class. I felt so bad that he didn't see the value of "sharpening the saw" in the branch.

Elder D. Todd Christofferson - The word of God, as Alma said, is like a seed planted in our hearts that produces faith as it begins to grow within us (See Alma 32:27-43; see also Romans 10:13-17). Faith will not come from the study of ancient texts as a purely academic pursuit. It will not come from archaeological digs and discoveries. It will not come from scientific experiments. It will not even come from witnessing miracles. These things may serve to confirm faith, or at times to challenge it, but they do not create faith. Faith comes by the witness of the Holy Spirit to our souls, Spirit to spirit, as we hear or read the word of God. And faith matures as we continue to feast upon the word.

In my life I had some wonderful teachers to ignite my love of the gospel through the scriptures, beginning with my father and grandfather. Seminary and Institute teachers guided my study for a half dozen years before I served a mission and delved deeper into the word of God each day in preparation for teaching it to others. Before I ever heard Elder Bednar teach it, I found patterns and connections in the scriptures that spoke to my heart and I felt the confirmation of the Spirit of their truthfulness.

Elder Bruce A. Carlson - . . . strict obedience to God's laws brings His blessings and failure to abide by His laws leads to foreseeable consequences. . . . faithful obedience, regardless of the apparent size of the task, will bring the Lord's guidance, assistance and peace.

We are commanded to study the scriptures and teach them to one another. Is it any wonder that the Church invests time and effort to help us? Why are local leaders to reluctant to utilize the help available and more firmly encourage improvement? I do not understand it.

Elder David A. Bednar - Such learning requires spiritual, mental, and physical exertion and not just passive reception. . . . What a glorious opportunity for family members to search the scriptures together and to be tutored by the Holy Ghost. . . . The spiritual discernment and inspiration you will receive from the combination of these three holy habits [Reading and talking about the Book of Mormon, Bearing testimony spontaneously, Inviting children to act] will enable you to stand as watchmen on the tower for your families--"watching. . . with all perseverance" (Ephesians 6:18)--to the blessing of your immediate family and your future posterity.

Oh how we need to be better learners and teachers. Many come to church hungering and thirsting for doctrine as well as strength and fellowship. I know I do! I don't want gospel "twinkies", I want a rich spread to feast upon and discuss with others as we share our insights, testimonies, and experiences.

Start Early and Be Steady

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday Afternoon session of the October 2005 conference.

Towards the end of 2022 as I began thinking about New Year's Resolutions, goals, and what I wanted to accomplish in the new year I felt the distinct impression that I needed to up my game, so to speak, in daily scripture study. I needed to be consistent and faithful. It was such a strong impression that I didn't think about anything else and began right away to make a weekly plan and study each day. 

I learned to love the scriptures as a child from my father and his father, my Grandpa Joe. Then as a teen seminary was a wonderful time of learning and I began to mark scriptures and look for cross references. Serving as a missionary brought greater understanding as I studied each day and then taught others the gospel of Jesus Christ. That time of my life laid a strong foundation for the rest of my life.

But, I failed to keep it up and there were times when I didn't study at all. Raising children limited my study time and I rarely got more than the minimum read for lessons, talks, or Family Home Evenings. After all the children left home I got more diligent and began to enjoy again the sweetness of personal revelation through the scriptures.

From December 2022 to April 2024 I don't think I missed a day of study. My testimony of the Savior deepened as I studied the New Testament accounts of His life. My gratitude for Him grew too.

Elder Henry B. Eyring said, "What we will need in our day of testing is a spiritual preparation. It is to have developed a faith in Jesus Christ so powerful that we can pass the test of life upon which everything for us in eternity depends. That test is part of the purpose God had for us in the Creation."

My day of testing came on a Monday when my husband called me to tell me our precious son was gone, killed by his own hand. I have never felt pain, nor screamed, nor cried like I did at that moment. It was horrific and frightening. But as my heart raced the thought that filled my mind and my heart was, "I know that my Redeemer lives, what comfort this sweet sentence gives." My faith was anchored to the Rock of Our Redeemer. I was so grateful to have followed the prompting to increase my gospel study over the preceding five months.

The great test of life is to see whether we will hearken to and obey God's commands in the midst of the storms of life. It is not to endure storms, but to choose the right while they rage.

I'm nobody special, I've no special powers, or even calling. Sometimes I'm really good at ignoring promptings or procrastinating following them. But in that instance I was obedient and I'm so glad I was. 

However much faith to obey God we now have, we will need to strengthen it continually and keep it refreshed constantly. We can do that by deciding now to be more quick to obey and more determined to endure. Learning to start early and to be steady are the keys to spiritual preparation. Procrastination and inconsistency are its mortal enemies.

Over the past year when I have felt like giving up and giving in to grief and despair, I remember the tender mercy from Heavenly Father prompting me to study more diligently. He knew what was coming and what I would need. I'm grateful I obeyed. I hope I can continue faithful and endure to the end of my mortal test.

James, Tatum & Daniel