When It Feels Good

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the General Relief Society session of the October 2007 conference.

It's long been said that you can tell how well you are doing with a particular gospel commandment or principle or whatever, by how you feel when it is talked about in General Conference.

Hearing Julie B. Beck, General Relief Society President, speak always gave me good feelings! She spoke of things dear to my heart and how I was trying to live.

"In order to do our part as women under the Lord's plan, we must stand strong and immovable in faith, strong and immovable in family, and strong and immovable in relief. We must excel in these three important areas which set us apart as the Lord's disciples."

"Think of our combined strength if every sister had sincere prayer every morning and night, or, better yet, prayed unceasingly as the Lord has commanded. If every family had family prayer daily and had family home evening once a week, we would be stronger. If every sister was self-reliant enough to be able to give freely of her knowledge, talents, and resources and if every sister's discipleship was reflected by what she said and what she wore, we would be immovable in that which is correct."

Sadly, I've given up on Relief Society in the branch I live in. I don't feel society or relief there. And yet there are so many good women! We just aren't organized or led in a way that builds strength individually or collectively. I miss the Relief Society of my mother's day when sisters met weekly for lessons on a variety of topics and had a "workday" once a month to produce useful and beautiful things. There was so much more "society" as sisters met together often. There was much more relief because the sisters knew each other better and could minister and support each other. The majority of the sisters were not employed outside their homes. Satan has done a great job of luring covenant women out of the home to work, only to come home stressed and tired, just giving lip service to ministering to each other, let alone any person or group outside the church. At least, that's the way I see it.

I have found other avenues of service and society in the community, but my heart still longs for the sweet sisterhood of the Relief Society of former days.

Sister Beck says to the Relief Society presidencies, "Yours is the obligation to help Latter-day Saint women excel in faith, family, and relief. You will help the gospel become a great and compelling interest to the women of the church. You will help the women perfect homemaking, parenting and marriage skills so they can fully live the gospel in their homes."

Wow! Is it just me, or do we need to hear this again and again? Well, it felt good when I heard it in 2007. I was still in the midst of mothering, and still had hope for a bright future in Relief Society. This time around I felt that too many covenant women have given in to the siren song of the world: to have a career, and/or so many activities with and for children that there is no time left for Relief Society. Or in trying to do it all there is so much stress and burnout. Do sisters not know that there are seasons of life? And that the season for raising a family shouldn't also be burdened with building a career? I wish young women would ask ME what's most important. Sister Beck knows!

Merry Christmas!

Service

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday afternoon session of the October 2007 conference.

Many talk of the trouble they have receiving service, that they are more comfortable giving service. Well, I just might be the first person you've met who has the opposite problem. Giving service to those outside my family has been so difficult for me. I've tried to analyze why. The only explanation I can come up with is that I've been "burned" so many times trying to give service that I'm hesitant to do anything.

I'll give some examples. When I was a young single adult attending a family ward in Utah a young family immigrated from East Germany. The wife was expecting their third or fourth baby. I had been friendly with them, saying hello at church and such. When the baby was going to be blessed in church I thought I'd be kind and sit with the family so they wouldn't be alone. Wrong! They had relations that took up two or three rows in the chapel. I felt like an interloper as I was asked to scoot down the row to allow more family to sit together. It was so awkward! They didn't need my friendship, they had more family supporting them than I did! My "good deed" wasn't even needed.

In a different situation here in the Midwest, I signed up to bring a meal to a woman who had some surgery on her feet. I drove an hour to deliver the meal, knocked on the door, no answer. I waited about 30 minutes, kept knocking on the door and wondering what had happened. There were cars in the driveway, but no one seemed to be home, just the dogs barking inside. So I took the meal (no way to leave it on the stoop) home again and called the RS President to find out what happened. Turned out that the woman had gone shopping and out to dinner! Never again! At least not to that person. 

In the forty years between those two incidents there have been numerous other mishaps of various kinds which I try not to remember and catalog. I have had some successful experiences with service, but those seem to be rare for me. So I've been sort of gun-shy about serving. I am, however, a really gracious receiver of service and generally write thank you notes to those who give of their time or resources to me. Because my "love language" is service (and gifts) I feel loved when someone gives me service. 

Elder Steven E. Snow gave a wonderful talk on this subject setting forth three principles of service.

"First, we are commanded to serve one another. . . . This service is to be given unselfishly, with no thought of personal gain or reward. It is to be given as needed, not when convenient." It's rare that service is needed at a convenient time. Emergencies and deaths aren't preplanned, and those events seem to happen when we are busiest. Schedules have to change, sacrifices made, and resources reallocated. ". . . look for ways to bless the lives of others through seemingly simple acts of service. It is better to do even things of little consequence than to do nothing at all." 

After James died many in our branch wanted to bring in meals, but I asked that they not do that because I needed the simple routine of fixing food and cleaning up to keep from dissolving into a puddle of tears and self-pity. Plus, another son and his wife made all the food after they arrived to help us. (She eats a vegan diet and I felt I couldn't ask others to cater to her.) After the funeral I asked for help with preparing flower beds in the garden (it was Spring), and really appreciated phone calls, cards and visits. I learned the power of the prayers of others in times of grief.

"Second, we have an obligation as members of the Church to accept callings to serve in building the kingdom of God on earth." 

I've turned down a calling only once. I felt bad, but I also felt that I just couldn't do that particular calling at that particular time. We had just moved to a new area far from family; I had three children 5, 3 and 1, and we had just begun homeschooling our oldest. The calling was to be a Primary teacher. As soon as I heard it I spontaneously burst into tears. I couldn't face spending time at church with little children. I needed interaction with adults! I was with littles 24/7 as it was. A few months later I received a stake calling that turned out to be the perfect job for the time and circumstances of my life. But that's the only time. 

Building God's Kingdom isn't just through formal callings though. It can be as simple as greeting a new person at church and inviting them to sit with you, then helping them find the right classroom for second hour. It could be setting up or taking down chairs, picking up bulletins or other detritus after a meeting. Taking a turn at cleaning the building. Chaperoning a youth activity or temple trip. And many other things.

Currently I've been attending missionary lessons to a young mother who lives in our town. It's brought back lots of pleasant memories from my own missionary service as well as shown me how far I've come in my teaching ability! Mostly though, I enjoy her sweet spirit and her generosity! I feel energized by my service. Perhaps that is another key to service--what kind of service is energizing or satisfying to you? We don't all have the same talents or gifts so perhaps some service is "easier" to give than another kind of service. 

Elder Snow's final point is ". . . we have a responsibility to render service in our communities."  

In September I contacted a woman in town about a quilt guild and beyond the information she gave me about that, she invited me to a baby quilt making group that meets once a month. So I attended. It was a pleasant experience to be welcomed into a group of Christian women who meet each month to produce baby quilts for use by community public health nurses making new baby wellness checks. Except for the coffee break, it felt a lot like a Relief Society work day that I remember from attending with my mother and grandmother. I felt like I had found my people! My biggest regret is that I didn't look for this opportunity earlier; but I kept waiting for the Relief Society of our branch to do something. I finally gave up waiting. And now I have another circle of friends and am accomplishing something worthwhile.

"Unselfishness, sharing, and giving are essential to service. . . . If we fail to serve, we fail to receive the fulness of the privileges and blessings of the restored gospel."

I've also begun to serve in the temple each Saturday. I'm now one of those "sweet, little, old ladies". Oh my, do I have some work to do! But I love the spirit of the temple and in just the two weeks I've worked there have felt an increase in my love of the gospel and Our Father's plan. It feels so good to be serving there.

I'm so grateful that we have daily opportunities to repent and improve. I've been giving thought to what I want to accomplish in the new year and know that giving more service is part of it. 

Line Upon Line to the Goal of Clean Hands and a Pure Heart

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday morning session of the October 2007 conference.

From Elder David A. Bednar

Small, steady, incremental spiritual improvements are the steps the Lord would have us take. Preparing to walk guiltless before God is one of the primary purposes of mortality and the pursuit of a lifetime; it does not result from sporadic spurts of intense spiritual activity.

That has been the reason for my daily scripture study, and going through the motions of attending church even when I don't "feel" like it. I'm trusting, as my mission president taught us, that my spirit will catch up to where my body is. 

Procrastination

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Priesthood session of the October 2007 conference.

I think I've struggled to overcome procrastination my entire life. I can do really well for a while then I backslide and fall right back into bad habits of putting off doing this, that, or the other thing.

Elder Donald L. Hallstrom tells the funny story of his 11 year old son putting off choosing a family recipe for submission to the school's cookbook. On the day it was due he wasn't ready and told his friend who gladly supplied an extra that he had. The result was published for all to see: the "Hallstrom Family Favorite Recipe--Bacardi Rum Cake."

Many of us place ourselves in circumstances far more consequential than embarrassment because of our procrastination to become fully converted to the gospel of Jesus Christ. We know what is right, but we delay full spiritual involvement because of laziness, fear, rationalization, or lack of faith. We convince ourselves that "someday I'm going to do it." However, for many "someday" never comes, and even for others who eventually do make a change, there is an irretrievable loss of progress and surely regression.

 

Elder Neal A. Maxwell spoke of this also in his talk titled "Why Not Now" which was one my mission president asked us to study. 

As mortals, natural men and women, we tend to want to pursue an easy path, I know I do. But that is not what mortal life is supposed to be. It is a test--and tests are by nature hard! But this is an open book test with lots of help and encouragement from our Headmaster and teachers. 

Elder Hallstrom says, "One of President Spencer W. Kimball's effective encouragements was the succinct "Do it." He later expanded this to "Do it now" to pointedly teach the need for timeliness." 

Procrastination may seem the easy way, as it momentarily removes the effort required to accomplish something of value. Ironically, in time, procrastination produces a heavy burden laced with guilt and a hollow lack of satisfaction. Temporal and, even more importantly, spiritual goals will not be achieved by procrastination. 

What have I procrastinated spiritually? Lots that has to do with ministering. It's so hard for me to respond to promptings and act immediately. It's embarrassing to admit that I have a fear of being wrong (as I have been so many times in the past!)

Elder Hallstrom invites, "Now is the time to do whatever is required to resolve our undesired circumstances. . . . It may not be easy, but our afflictions can be swallowed up in the joy of Christ."