Service

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday afternoon session of the October 2007 conference.

Many talk of the trouble they have receiving service, that they are more comfortable giving service. Well, I just might be the first person you've met who has the opposite problem. Giving service to those outside my family has been so difficult for me. I've tried to analyze why. The only explanation I can come up with is that I've been "burned" so many times trying to give service that I'm hesitant to do anything.

I'll give some examples. When I was a young single adult attending a family ward in Utah a young family immigrated from East Germany. The wife was expecting their third or fourth baby. I had been friendly with them, saying hello at church and such. When the baby was going to be blessed in church I thought I'd be kind and sit with the family so they wouldn't be alone. Wrong! They had relations that took up two or three rows in the chapel. I felt like an interloper as I was asked to scoot down the row to allow more family to sit together. It was so awkward! They didn't need my friendship, they had more family supporting them than I did! My "good deed" wasn't even needed.

In a different situation here in the Midwest, I signed up to bring a meal to a woman who had some surgery on her feet. I drove an hour to deliver the meal, knocked on the door, no answer. I waited about 30 minutes, kept knocking on the door and wondering what had happened. There were cars in the driveway, but no one seemed to be home, just the dogs barking inside. So I took the meal (no way to leave it on the stoop) home again and called the RS President to find out what happened. Turned out that the woman had gone shopping and out to dinner! Never again! At least not to that person. 

In the forty years between those two incidents there have been numerous other mishaps of various kinds which I try not to remember and catalog. I have had some successful experiences with service, but those seem to be rare for me. So I've been sort of gun-shy about serving. I am, however, a really gracious receiver of service and generally write thank you notes to those who give of their time or resources to me. Because my "love language" is service (and gifts) I feel loved when someone gives me service. 

Elder Steven E. Snow gave a wonderful talk on this subject setting forth three principles of service.

"First, we are commanded to serve one another. . . . This service is to be given unselfishly, with no thought of personal gain or reward. It is to be given as needed, not when convenient." It's rare that service is needed at a convenient time. Emergencies and deaths aren't preplanned, and those events seem to happen when we are busiest. Schedules have to change, sacrifices made, and resources reallocated. ". . . look for ways to bless the lives of others through seemingly simple acts of service. It is better to do even things of little consequence than to do nothing at all." 

After James died many in our branch wanted to bring in meals, but I asked that they not do that because I needed the simple routine of fixing food and cleaning up to keep from dissolving into a puddle of tears and self-pity. Plus, another son and his wife made all the food after they arrived to help us. (She eats a vegan diet and I felt I couldn't ask others to cater to her.) After the funeral I asked for help with preparing flower beds in the garden (it was Spring), and really appreciated phone calls, cards and visits. I learned the power of the prayers of others in times of grief.

"Second, we have an obligation as members of the Church to accept callings to serve in building the kingdom of God on earth." 

I've turned down a calling only once. I felt bad, but I also felt that I just couldn't do that particular calling at that particular time. We had just moved to a new area far from family; I had three children 5, 3 and 1, and we had just begun homeschooling our oldest. The calling was to be a Primary teacher. As soon as I heard it I spontaneously burst into tears. I couldn't face spending time at church with little children. I needed interaction with adults! I was with littles 24/7 as it was. A few months later I received a stake calling that turned out to be the perfect job for the time and circumstances of my life. But that's the only time. 

Building God's Kingdom isn't just through formal callings though. It can be as simple as greeting a new person at church and inviting them to sit with you, then helping them find the right classroom for second hour. It could be setting up or taking down chairs, picking up bulletins or other detritus after a meeting. Taking a turn at cleaning the building. Chaperoning a youth activity or temple trip. And many other things.

Currently I've been attending missionary lessons to a young mother who lives in our town. It's brought back lots of pleasant memories from my own missionary service as well as shown me how far I've come in my teaching ability! Mostly though, I enjoy her sweet spirit and her generosity! I feel energized by my service. Perhaps that is another key to service--what kind of service is energizing or satisfying to you? We don't all have the same talents or gifts so perhaps some service is "easier" to give than another kind of service. 

Elder Snow's final point is ". . . we have a responsibility to render service in our communities."  

In September I contacted a woman in town about a quilt guild and beyond the information she gave me about that, she invited me to a baby quilt making group that meets once a month. So I attended. It was a pleasant experience to be welcomed into a group of Christian women who meet each month to produce baby quilts for use by community public health nurses making new baby wellness checks. Except for the coffee break, it felt a lot like a Relief Society work day that I remember from attending with my mother and grandmother. I felt like I had found my people! My biggest regret is that I didn't look for this opportunity earlier; but I kept waiting for the Relief Society of our branch to do something. I finally gave up waiting. And now I have another circle of friends and am accomplishing something worthwhile.

"Unselfishness, sharing, and giving are essential to service. . . . If we fail to serve, we fail to receive the fulness of the privileges and blessings of the restored gospel."

I've also begun to serve in the temple each Saturday. I'm now one of those "sweet, little, old ladies". Oh my, do I have some work to do! But I love the spirit of the temple and in just the two weeks I've worked there have felt an increase in my love of the gospel and Our Father's plan. It feels so good to be serving there.

I'm so grateful that we have daily opportunities to repent and improve. I've been giving thought to what I want to accomplish in the new year and know that giving more service is part of it.