A Theme Emerges

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday afternoon session of the April 2010 conference.

As I reviewed this week's talks and looked at what I had underlined a theme revealed itself to me. I guess you can tell what's on your mind by what stands out in a talk.

Elder Russell M. Nelson spoke of Generations Linked in Love, saying, "While the family is under attack throughout the world, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints proclaims, promotes, and protects the truth that the family is central to the Creator's plan for the eternal destiny of His Children."

I'm reminded of the words of Nephi that when God gives a commandment He prepares a way to obey that commandment. (1 Nephi 3:7) We are commanded to be fruitful and multiply, to have a family, so Our Heavenly Father will give us the tools and help we need to be successful accomplishing that.

Elder Robert D. Hales said, "The greatest rescue, the greatest activation will be in our homes. If someone in your family is wandering in strange paths, you are a rescuer, engaged in the greatest rescue effort the Church as ever known. I testify from personal experience: There is no failure except in giving up. It is never too early or too late to begin."

Is there a family anywhere in the church who doesn't have challenges? I don't know of any. Mortal life is hard and dangerous. I love the encouragement to never give up, and that's it's not too early or too late. I think it's important to remember that our task is to provide opportunity for them to use their agency to make choices. We are not accountable for their choices, only that we gave them the knowledge and opportunity to make them. That's hard to remember because our love for our children causes us to feel like a failure when our teachings and guidance are rejected. But it's not so different from the experiences of full-time missionaries. They aren't accountable for all the rejection they experience (goodness, I hope not!), only for their effort of sharing the gospel and their testimonies.

Elder Bradley D. Foster said, "Brothers and sisters, in a world where everyone is granted agency, some of our loved one may stray for a season. But we can never give up. We must always go back for them--we must never stop trying."

Again, the assurance that we must never give up. I know from spiritual experiences with our son James, that Heavenly Father's mercy extends beyond this life; He has a plan for each of His children to have the right opportunity to repent and accept the Savior's Atonement. He wants to save all of His children!

Elder James B. Martino said, "As we pass through the trials of life, let us keep an eternal perspective, let us not complain, let us become even more prayerful, let us serve others, and let us forgive one another."

I struggled as a missionary because I wanted to do something to soften the hearts of the people and show them that we were good Christians. The missionaries today are so blessed to have the freedom to serve in the community and show their faith by their works. I know this also is effective in families. I've worked hard to show my straying children that no matter what they choose I will love them and not cut them off from my love. I have told them I don't like their choices, but I still love them because I see their goodness. (Fortunately, they are hard workers, good citizens, serving in the military, etc., they just have rejected the Gospel.)

Elder Gregory A. Schwitzer said, "Good judgement is needed not only in understanding people but also in facing decisions that often lead us to or away from our Heavenly Father. . . . A relationship of listening often requires a quiet environment in which we can take time to ponder and hear the still, small voice."

I enjoy time with my children, one on one. I like to learn about the things each is interested in and encourage them in developing their talents and interests. There is usually a way to work in a gospel lesson by analogy when conversing about the things they love. And spending time together gives the Spirit a chance to inspire me about my child. I'm not perfect, I get impatient and frustrated. I often wonder if Heavenly Father has forgotten my family. But then a tender mercy appears and I know He loves our family and wants us to succeed.

Elder Francisco J. Viñas said, "It is interesting to notice that he [Alma the Younger] taught and gave his children their charge separately, adapting his instructions to each son, according to that son's needs. He bore testimony and taught them doctrine, preparing them to teach those same principles to others."

Alma is a superb example of a good parent. He had the power of discernment and used it to better understand each son (and hopefully his daughters). We parents often lament that our children don't come with instructions manuals. However, we can go directly to their maker for understanding and guidance. While raising our five I often prayed to know how to teach them and train them. The answers came! I could have done better, I suppose, but I did the best I could in the circumstances I was. 

Elder Neil L. Andersen said, ". . . my counsel is to speak more frequently about Jesus Christ. In His holy name is great spiritual power. . . . If a child is not listening, don't despair. Time and truth are on your side. At the right moment, your words will return as if from heaven itself. Your testimony will never leave your children."

One day I asked my children if they could tell what was most important in my life. "Yes, mom, the gospel," was their unanimous answer. Good, I was doing something right! I hope they will have called up to their minds my testimony and example when they most need it and are ready to return to the fold of the Savior.

And finally, President Thomas S. Monson said, " I urge you to study the messages, to ponder their teachings, and then to apply them in your life."

This is important advice for parents! (And other family members) Reviewing the past talks has strengthened me as much as reading The Book of Mormon. The talks given in our day are the equivalent of the sermons recorded in scriptures. They are relevant to the times and circumstances in which we live, and are in language and analogy that we can clearly understand. I don't feel complete without listening to and reading a conference talk or two each day.