Eternally Encircled in His Love

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the General Relief Society session of the October 2006 conference.

When I was about nine or ten I went in to my parent's bedroom to say goodnight to them. I hugged my mother and said goodnight then walked around the bed to my father. Before I could lean toward him to give him a hug he said, "I don't want a hug from a naughty girl like you." I was so taken aback that I couldn't say anything and simply left the room with an aching heart and a vow to never give him a hug ever again. And I didn't, until I was about eighteen. I don't remember what I did to be called naughty, it was probably teasing my younger brother or something similar. My father was a good man, committed to the Gospel, but he had a hard time giving grace, being merciful and would withhold his love if he felt I wasn't worthy. That affected my life for a very long time.

Sister Bonnie D. Parkin, (who hugged me the first and only time she ever met me!) said, "Feeling His love encourages us to press forward, reassures us that we are His, and confirms to us that He cherishes us even when we stumble and experience temporary setbacks."

At a time when my marriage was on the rocks and I was struggling to meet the demands of five young children I went into my closet, knelt down and poured out my heart to God. I said I just want to feel loved. Immediately I felt the warmth and strength of His love enveloping me from head to toe. It was a sacred, phenomenal moment. 

". . . women need to feel the Lord's love in their lives daily." After my experience feeling my Heavenly Father's love once I could recall that feeling whenever I needed a renewal and reassurance. He is the only one who has never let me down, left me disappointed, or caused me pain.

"Our Heavenly Father loved us before we came to this earth. I know that He loves us, sisters, as does His Son, Jesus Christ. That love will never change--it is constant. You can rely on it. We can trust it."

The most important thing I've learned is that I don't have to be perfect to be worthy of His love. He wants me to keep improving and progressing, but He loves me every step and misstep of the way.

"We must acknowledge that perfection is a process. This is a gospel of eternal progress, and we must remember to appreciate the journey. Eternal means 'without beginning or end,' so the encircling of His love is there for us every day."

In August I had another good experience feeling my Father's love, in my journal I recorded, "Last night I paused in my prayer to listen and cry. I think the Spirit said to me, 'Give yourself grace, you've had a hard life. Don't give up now.' That felt so merciful to me."

"Do you feel the Lord's love in your life? How I feel His love may be different from how you experience it. The key is to come to understand how you feel that love. And once you've felt it, be willing to share it."

The more I study the scriptures and General Conference talks the more I feel loved. The more I notice nature around me such as the colors, sounds, smells, etc. the more I feel loved. The more obedient I am to the commandments the more I feel loved. And the more I serve others and give grace and mercy to others the more I feel loved. But even when I'm feeling disappointed and angry, feeling tired of trying, and rebellious, I STILL feel loved by a perfect, infinitely patient Father who never turns me away, welcoming me with open arms to comfort and encourage. Which in turn increases my love for Him. My goal is to share His love with others so they can feel that too.